does anyone feel this way or am I crazy

You haven't told us how your control is.  If your A1 C is above 6.5, it's too high and could easily be a cause of your depression.  Were you aware that getting your BGs down to non-diabetic numbers can improve or even eliminate depression?  This is difficult but doable.  For guidelines on how to get those BGs down to non-diabetic range, I suggest you read "Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes Solutions" by Richard K. Bernstein, M.D.  and check out his website, too. You'll get help there.

Of course, depression exists aside from diabetes, too.  You should probably be taking an antidepressant.  And if you already are and it's not working, try another.  Antidepressants can lose their effectiveness eventually, even if they once did work.  If you've tried one and it didn't work, ask your doctor to try others until you find one that does work. 

You know, you're really being too hard on yourself.  This is part of the cycle of depression - you feel bad so you don't do what you know you should, and that makes you feel even worse.  I'd suggest that you stop beating yourself up that you don't have perfect control - ironically this will help you to feel better and that will probably help you to get better control!!!  If you need to, switch doctors and find someone sympathetic.  You found the courage to ask for help, and you should be working with someone who knows how difficult that is and who will honour your commitment to getting better.  I chose my dietician because even though she works very inconvenient hours for me, she encourages me and tells me I'm doing a good job, and that motivates me so much more than the other dietician I saw who took one look at me and told me I was far off the beaten track and needed to change everything I ate.  Get the support you need - it's not you who is the problem here, it's the person you're working with.