Yes, when my blood sugar is high or low, it definitely effects my moods.
When I'm high, I feel anxious, sluggish, and generally frustrated with myself. I guess it just depresses me to be high, so I find myself feeling down.
Lows used to make me incredibly grumpy! Nowdays, I'm in a lowish range so much, that they don't seem to cause the moodiness that I used to have. However, I become very focused on correcting my lows, so if people try to distract me with conversation, I'm likely to become annoyed.
My moodswings probably come from pregnancy hormones moreso than glucose level fluctuations these days!
I know that many people experience anger when low... it's pretty common.
Thanks for writing back! At least I know I'm not the only one. I was diagnosed with hyer/hypoglycemia. Which I guess means it can flucuate rapidly. So I'm not actually diabetic. I hope to try and stop it from coming!! I try to eat low glycemic and all the other stuff they tell you to do!!
So what does it do to you when you bounce from 40 to 350 on a daily basis? Not one doctor has been able to control my diabetes in the 16 years I've had it. Every relationship I've had has ended because I'm psycho. All those women complaining below about their moody husbands, well it happens to women too. And the number one person I take it out on is my lover or my mom. I usually blame the other person too, but now after reading this, I realize that it is probably my fault, and it does have to do with the diabetes.
So what do I do? I don't want to be alone. Psychologists don't think I need psych medication, just exercise and meditation. But nothing is fullproof.
Your mood is associated with your blood sugars because there are hormones that are released when under stress that also increase your blood sugar. Any stress, fatigue or sudden crisis will raise a diabetic's blood sugar. I tend to be more emotional when my sugar is high. I've never checked when I've had an outburst though.
Thanks everyone for sharing.
You Need to be on the pump with better doctor control. I have had Diabetes for 40 years and I know the trials of having roller coaster days. Those days are due to my own eating or whatever. You need to find out about the medtronic pump with the continuous glucos monitoring device.
I'm already on the pump.
I am also on LExapro. Not for depression, but to keep me "more mellow". IT seems to help me alot. Rather than throwing a tizzy fit if I drop and break something, I will now just say " oh gosh golly gee". NOt exactly, but it eases the emotional outburst. IF your blood swings are whacked, you definately need to adjust your pump profiles. I noticed in the mid afternoon I would get higher readings and as expected, would get a bit cranky, I adjusted ( raised dosage) and it has helped alot with swings. You did not mention if you have the CGM ( continuous monitoring device), if you dont, you really should get it. Its amazing what you can learn and do with it. If you are not sure if insurance will cover, have minimed work on it. They got mine to cover 100%. GOOD luck.
Thanks for the advice! I am not on a CGMS, I wish I was. I upgraded to a Paradigm pump with the intension of going in that direction. But I upgraded too early. So now I wait, at least a year...
Maybe I'll stick to the zanex and valum and just wait. Stress is tricky, you never know if it will set you off. And I can't take meds at work, so back to the drawing board.
I am engaged to a diabetic. His negative attitude and meaness is getting to me. Do you have any suggetions how he can work on his moodiness? Because it is killing our relationship.
Hi John, you say when you adjust your pump it helps your mood swings correct? Well, if a person has a pump, and still has a bad attitude, is that because they aren't adjusting their pump right, or do they just plainly have a bad attitude?
I"m married to one. He's been mean to me and our 3 children for 8 years. He's just getting more and more verbally abusive, hostile and has had violent episodes. He won't acknowlege the problem is connected to his poor diabetes management-he blames his moodiness on me. I would advise you to RUN, I wish I had when I had the chance. Sorry to anyone diabetic who takes offense. It is just too much of a burden on a family when the patient won't take steps to control his disease. I have 3 little kids and a full time job. I can't spend my days preparing food for him, sending him text messages reminding him to eat, check his blood sugar or that he has a doctor's appointment. I'm not his mother. When I think the time is right-I'm leaving. Then he can finally have a legitemate reason to blame his moodiness on me.
I agree with you totally. I have been married over 20 yrs to a diabetic. His mood swings have gotten so bad I have finally decided I have had enough. I have tried to help him. I told him about info I found on the internet that relates blood sugar levels to his horrible mood swings. I cook healthy foods but he eats foods he knows he should not. For a few months he was sort of okay. The last of our 3 children just moved out and now I have become his only target.
To any woman out there that is thinking about marrying a diabetic with violent mood swings I say RUN also. If you are married to one of these violent men try to work it out if you can't and he continues being abusive LEAVE
Amen to that. Run. It took me 8 years after verbal and physical abuse to realize my child too was now a victim of abuse. The day my 3 year old looked up at me and apoligized for what his dad just did to me was the last straw. Man or woman, if you are a diabetic then you need to accept that and take care of yourself not only for you, but for the people that love you or you will lose it all one day and they will be gone. It took me years to get the courage to leave and with continuing couseling at a domestic violence center i am finally moving on and my son and I are finally at peace. If your diabetic partner will not accept that they have a responsibility to themselves and the people around them that they could or are harming, then you need to get away and leave and never turn back or you will go through the "I'm sorry" cycle "take me back" cycle, "I'll change" cycle and you will never get out. Worst of all your children will be sucked in too. Do it for them.
I have recently become involved with a diabetic man...and it has been the most destructive and turbulent relationship I have ever been in. He is a doctor and a very overly confident and charismatic man, or at least I thought. Our relationship is now pretty much over after we had an argument this Saturday and then he failed to show for a counselling session (yes after only 5 months we are seeing a therapist). Call me crazy for showing up but I wanted to show him that although I will no longer take his crap I was willing to work towards resolving the situation... I have not heard from him since Saturday and I guess my real question is, do diabetics suffer from mood swings only? Or is there a mental condition that is part of the illness? a mood swing in my books can last for up to a few hours, but how can a mood swing last for days and that person make such calculated and cruel decisions? I am so confused as this man not only suffers from mood swings but also an over-inflated sense of himself, is incredibly insecure, will stop at nothing to be in control and will often tell lies about what he is doing, forgets things that he has said, blames me for things, makes me doubt and question things about me, has no regard for my feelings when he is having a good or bad day, and the list goes on...I realise now what a mistake i have made in becoming involved with him but for my own sanity need to understand more about the nature of a chronic diabetic!
I read you email with great interest. I am married to a man who has been ill for some time but in denial. He has finally been to see about it and has high blood pressure, very high cholesterol and high blood sugar. He is borderline type II and has a family history of heart issues.
I've been feeling as though I've been going mad for the past 8 - 10 years. Each year his moods get worse, and yesterday he pushed me so hard that he has left an enourmous bruise on my shoulder and the look in his eyes was something I have never seen before. I knew he was sick and have not wanted to give up on him because he was a wonderful caring man, and I don't believe he knows who he is at the moment. However, I am sure that if he can't help himself in the next 6 months to improve his health and hopefully his behaviour will improve as a result, then my children and I may have no choice to leave.
I've lived with the frustration, anger, hurt and dismay of seeing my life ruled by the man that I once loved beyond belief and believed in completely. I've had to take control of our home, our business, our social life, the children's lives and have no time for myself as he has become insular, self absorbed, mean and cruel.
Reading these blogs has helped me to realise that I am not on my own, and have not been going mad after all. We all need help at some time in our life, and it is his turn to ask for help. He has and I will give it to him as long as he is prepared to help himself.
Wish me luck.
I am so relieved to have read your comments and stories about living with a diabetic man. I have been going out with my boyfriend now for about 6 months, he has type 1 diabetes and has had this since he was about 7 (hes now 23). I have never experienced such a rollecoaster of ups and downs. I try hard to be supportive and understand since two of my close family members have type 1 diabetes too.
Something so small can get his back up and I find that hes so quick sometimes to critisise me and belittle me making me doubt my actions. He not only brings up the fact that I have annoyed him but his emotion and anger with me seems to be very prolonged, sometimes lasting for a couple of days.
I sometimes think that I can understand why he is like he is at times and think its his blood sugar then he seems to launch into one sometimes at the slightest thing and I forget that its down to his diabetes. Its always like its a directed attack at me and I have almost had enough of it. I will support him and be there for him but I am rather too senstiive to be able to withstand it much longer. I am fed up with feeling like I am the 'baddy' in the relationship and that I keep doing things wrong. The more I try and avoid fights and arguments with him the more we seem to have.
Its such a shame because he is a really lovely guy when his sugars seem to be stable... :-(
If you're not already married, RUN! The mood swings will not improve as he ages; and you will be dealing with personality traits you can't control and affect.
I hope you have left him by now and met or will soon meet a nice normal guy. You'll appreciate him all the more. It's said that these people with this disease can't control their behavior. I'm married to one and I suffer for it.
I not only wish you luck, I pray for you. These men take out their mood swings on the people closest to them. They somehow manage to behave around other family members and business associates and golf buddies. Assert your rights! It is sad that they cannot control their behavior...but, to some extent, they can. But won't. Never blame yourself. Try to be patient, kind so that you know you have done nothing to exacerbate the situation. At the same time, don't be a doormat. Speak up! Believe me, they can take it!
Husband just recently diagnosed type 2, but, his mean, insular behavior---anger, verbal abuse and nasty mood swings have been steadily increasing over the years, so now I understand why!! Of course, it is always my fault, even in front of the boys, where he frequently belittles and mocks me. My eyes are now opened to what is ahead of me. Thank you for your posts, everyone. This morning I got yelled at for asking him a simple question about his blood sugars (after I made his spectacular healthy breakfast). He left for work without saying a word. I have a lot to think about.
I FEEL THE SAME WAY I GET BLAME FOR THINGS THAT I'M NOT DOING THE PEOPLE HE SHOULD TELL OFF HE DON'T AND NOW I'M SICK OF THE ABUSE ITS TOO MUCH TO BEAR I TRIED TOO DEAL BUT IT GET HARDER AND HARDER EVEERYTIME HE OPENS HIS MOUTH.I'M GETTING TOO THE POINT WHERE I WANT OUT BECAUSE I CAN'T TAKE IT KNOW MORE ACCUSING ME OF THINGS I'M NOT DOING TO JUST SITTING DOWN ON HIS BUT AND NOT DO NOTHING ALL DAY THAT TOO MUCH. I HAVE 4 KIDS HERE ALREADY BUT IT FEEL LIKE I HAVE 6 BECAUSE I HAVE AN OLDER SON THAT'S NOT HERE.I CAN RELATE I'M STARTING TOO FEEL LIKE I WANT TOO LEAVE THIS RELATIONSHIP.I HOPE IT GETS HELP I WAS HERE AND NOW I FEEL THAT'S TOO HARD TOO DEAL WITH.
I have a diabetic husband and it is SO difficult. He often says things that break my heart. Other times he gets mad over nothing and can't defend the logic of his accusations so he just snaps, "I don't want to talk about this any more." There is no predicting or accommodating his moods. He's basically a very good guy but the verbal and emotional abuse is hard to take.
I am really glad i found this. I am a diabetic type 2, since about 2005. I experience these same types of mood swings. I hate it because sometimes I do snap over nothing and my kids and husband are my target. I always find myself apologizing to them. But they are very understanding and supportive. I find difficult to stick to a steady diet to help lower my sugar. I have tried several diets and none ever works. I was in denial, I think I still am in some ways. How do you overcome that? I take my medicine but continue to eat what I want. I know I need to try harder but I feel like there is no use at times. In regards to your story, I think sometimes there is no control of the way you feel no matter how hard you try. Don't get me wrong I do think that it's wrong to behave in such a manner towards the people you love.
Hey there, if you love your family, and it sounds like you do, you must, simply must get serious about your diet. It will take making good choices every day, and planning for healthy snacks. Just resolve to exercise regularly (get to a Curves if you can---wonderful support there) and start with a day at a time until it becomes a habit. When you mess up, just forgive yourself and go on. Several folks I know have also joined a hospital-sponsored support group, which my diabetic hard-headed husband would never consent to. Above all, think long term, to the future, and you want to be around with full health 10 years from now to help those you love! Good luck!!
I'm so sorry to hear your story. I live with a man with type 1 who behaviour sounds just like your husbands. The difference is that my man does manage his diabetes well. I too have thought of leaving many times but remind my self that its the illness and not him thats being abusive. I wish I could give you some advice but it's easier for me as I have no children.
My spouse as usual before a holiday and my birthday has just been a bear. He says "I'm the one with the problem." I just try and remember it's his sugar level. I even ask him to test his sugar but he says "IT'S NOT MY SUGAR, IT'S YOU!" So, that is a huge clue to me that his sugar level is either high or low. He always threatens not to pay our bills. It's a terrible cycle.
i am going thru the exact same thing my boyfriend is on insulin he does not check his blood sugar hardly at all i have checked his monitor and i saw a reading just this month at over 400 and some even higher he is horrible towards me the mood swings are crazy i try to talk to him or touch him he goes off so i fixed him breakfast tried to give him a hug he screams dont touch me and the mood swings can on for days off and on sometimes over a week i lost my job and i moved here to try to go back to school and find another job in my field and of course to be with him this man is so mean to me he's off an on like a roller coaster hell come and kiss me and tell me he's sorry and hes being stupid and he even admitted to having these crazy mood swings but he reallydoesnt know how it is affecting me then he start right back up again im am very tired of the nasty treatment im getting i have had it it only so much ass kissing im going to do trying to accomodate and make excuses for his illness i dont care who it is this man is horrible i tried to talk to him about his health that he should stop eating the stuff he eats i find oatmeal cookies,candy/and evn alcohol from time to time .this man is grown i cant hold his hand he knows what he has can kill him if he doesnt watch what he's doing,but he needs something to control this mean nasty mood swings its horrible or the next woman will go through the same thing,my time is up good luck to all the people who can deal with it for years not me!!!!
Wow that is me to a T My wife of 20 years and 15 and 13 year old kids think Im crazy bin a diabetic for 8 years insulin dependent for 4 I dont want to take any more meds ?
If you have been married for 20 years, you must be doing something right for your family to stay with you.... Hang in there. The first step is to even ADMIT you have these moods swing. Do you drink as well? Do you take care of yourself?
I am curious why you would not want to take more medication, if in the end it will make your life better, and possibly save your family from continued abuse?
I do take care of my self. Im in good shape but I do drink sometimes a little much. I don't really want to take pills for moods
o my god having the same problems the mood swing his are in the mornings but it always come my way the anger of wakeing him up but his sugers are just low some mornings
I am so glad to see that I am not the only one this is happenening to. That is not to say it is right by any means. I have been with my husband for 7 years now (dating for 4.5 and married for 2.5). He has Type 2 diabetes. Between the two of us, we have 4 kids. He treats my son (from a previous relationship) horrible. When we first got together, everyhting was great and he was a great "dad" to him. Now, my son cannot even speak without my husband snapping at him. He yells all the time about the stupidest things. He has punched two holes in our walls, and has been on the verge of becoming very violent to me several times. I started searching this morning on what to do when my mother suggested to me that his sugar may be off, after he pinned my son up against the wall for asking him why he has to argue about everything. His behavior is definately ruining our relationship. He has one son from a previous relationship whom he treats much better than my son. We have two other kids together. The only girl is like his little angel. She can do no wrong and my son is always taking the blame for everything she does. When I try to tell him what happened, I'm always wrong in my husbands eyes. I feel I can never do anything right. I want to leave but keep going back and forth. I am tired of making excuses for him. I feel he needs to take responsibility for his actions even though it may be diabetic related.
How do you get through to someone who thinks he's always right and never sees his behavior as wrong? He has never apologized for any of the things he has done or caused. My son is scared of him (We will be staying elsewhere for a while) and his own son has told me that he doesn't want to be around him anymore because he is so mean all the time.
Sorry to keep going on....
I found this site and felt like I was reading about my own life.
Oh, God, yes.....
It's been 8 years, and I totally undertstand the episodes, they were far apart until a year ago and now it's weekly. I am the reason for all that is wrong in his life. I am picked on daily, accused of everything. There isn't any love or affection, it's all about him and what I haven't done. In those episodes he's another person, his eyes get glossed over, he grits his teeth, and appears to be collecting information to feed some inner voice he's trying to get an agreement with. He can be violent and has broken things I have been told he doesn't love me and can't love anyone. This has only been happening to this extent for the last year. He hasn't taken meds for close to a year, he's taking some now but it's not regular and he's not being monitored by a doctor. I'm very depressed over all of this, I have been very good to this person and we have a history together but I being worn away and I don't know what the future holds.
My husband's the same way. I ended up calling his doctor directly and discussing what was happening directly with him. My hubby was quite upset when he found out about this, but that's just tough. Enough is enough, and it was time to take the situation into my own hands. At least he knew that I was serious enough about how I was being treated by him to contact the one person who was supposed to be treating him.
Did any one have their DM confused with Bipolar Disorder?
My mother and father are in the middle of a divorce, but
my father was diagnosed with Bipolar diorder about 3 or
4 years ago. He was also very diabetic (type II). He refused
to take any of the medication of bipolar, however he did
acknowledge the Diabetes, and has since taken steps to
control his diabetes. This is why I was curious if the
symptoms of DM can be misdiagnosed, even though the
DM was already Acknowledged. Any imput would be great!
I am desperately searching for a solution to help my recently diagnosed diabetic husband, who has also had extreme moods swings since I have known him (28 years). Until reading your blog, I thought his 'episodes' were due to Bi-polar disorder, although he has never accepted this and had never connected his symptoms with diabetes. I can empathise with all your comments. My children are now grown up and one by one he has chased them all away with his terrible mood swings and anger rages and I am at a loss what to do with my life sometimes. I still live in hope he will listen to me and get medical advise and medications so we can live a normal life, but it's hard to go on sometimes and even harder to decide to up and leave, so until the day comes I can't take anymore I'll continue to search for the right solution. Good luck to you.
I hope this helps someone out there. I have been married to a diabetic since 1980. He was not diabetic when we got married, however three months into the marriage he was type II. By 1995 he was type I and physically as well as emotionally abusive. I am still married to him and I am catholic and do not believe in divorce. I have stuck by this man through thick and thin and he is still very abusive. I work two jobs plus take care of him and the family finances and he still finds a reason to critizice me daily. Each day I feel my self-worth dwindling as I too am a very sensitive person. I would advise anyone out there not to even get involved with a diabetic if you know the situation when you start dating them. They go on this pity trip and think that everyone needs to kiss their butts because they are diabetic and somehow that makes them more disabled then the next man. Mine too accuses me of having affairs and being incompetent for leaving a dish or plate in the sink. When my daughter was young he used to verbally abuse her and she is so messed up now that she will probably never marry. Now that she is single on her own with her own son he singles in on me daily. I can't remember the last time he even kissed me or told me I looked nice or took me anywhere. There is no romance in our relationship and that seems to suit him just fine. He is diabetic and I can accept it or move on and move out and find someone else. He won't even discuss his incompetence with his doctor. He seems to think that I will stay with him forever. One day he was watching TV and he told me that the news women on tv was his girlfriend. My first thought was are you kidding me are you trying to make me feel you are having an affair or are you just trying to get a reaction out of me?!! I don't think I'm crazy becasue at least once a month when I get paid he goes off by himself for 3-4 hours at a time and he just takes off after he gets money from me and never asks me to go with him or anything. I don't know if he needs to get away from me or if he just thinks he has the right to go while I am stuck at home. I take care of my grandson because my daughter can not afford to put him in daycare plus I do home health for my neighbor and get paid for that. Usually when he comes home after that 3-4 hours a week he is in a better mood til next time. It is a hell of a life and I feel mine is at the end-of-my-rope. One example was this morning I was a half hour late from getting home from work and he said to me Where have you been? You're late and I am hungry and I thought to my self well lets see there is bacon and preheated sausage and eggs, could you not fix yourself something to eat or is that too much to ask after I worked this morning.? Listen if your not in too deep pray to God before marrying a diabetic cause it will make you old before your time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi, I`ve been with my husband for the last 29 years and for the last 10`ish years he`s been diabetic.
I`m in the same situation as those of you who find their partners controlling, making them doubt themselves etc.
you cannot believe the relief that i feel, knowing that it`s not me going mad, I`ve had a nervous breakdown because of my husbands diabeties, although I`ve never told him that.
I went through the same counselling etc, my husband had counselling for one session, but he put on such a good show that the counsellor told him that he was okay, even though the doctor has him on prozac because of the things I`ve told her.
He`s never hit me thank god, but when his bloods go screwy, he can get very verbally agressive towards anyone who ticks him off in the slightest. He`s even accused me of having an affair and that our middle child isn`t his, to the point of him going to blood donors just to find out his blood group just to find out his blood type.
All I really wanted to say is thank you for letting me know I`m not on my own, and to anyone else, if at all possible, do not get involved with a diabetic !!!!!
I know how you feel. My husband was diagnosed just about one year ago and now it explains why he had acted the way he did all those years. The doctor said he had it for about 10 yrs undiagnosed. It love him very much but somedays all I do is cry because of the things he says, yells at me, blames me etc. But on his good days he is the guy I fell in love with. But now he and my oldest daughter are not talking and its really hard for me because if I see her he gets mad at me if I dont see her she gets mad at me. So Im just sad. But I know my husband does not mean what he says its his sugar levels causing him to act that way. What do you do bail on him because he has diabetes or try to be understanding and be there for him? If you ever want to talk or need to talk I feel your pain.
would love advice from anyone on this - my fiancé is type 1 and has been for many years - we have a long distance relationship and I plan to move to be with him in the next 3 months or so and marry in July 2011.
He is the most lovely and caring and loving man 80% of the time but sometimes he just completely looses the plot over things that really are fairly trivial - i keep putting it down to the distance as we dont see each other for up to 7 weeks at a time (he is in Europe and I am in australia). it is like he is trying to control me almost enjoys 'breaking me down' and then once he's done that he is fine for anything up to 5 weeks , then it happens again.
even when we are together he has these hugely irrational spells , but they dont last long.
is this a symptom of diabetes ?? he had another episode last weekend as i spent too much time with my friends and it is not normal for a 40 year old lady to be out (i went out on sat eve and Sunday afternoon to BBQ's) so much ..
just dunno and am worried about it...
It sounds like you are blaming characteristic flaws on diabetes, Anger welts up faster in a diabetic and you can lash out but you're not a mean or negative person because of it that is a personality characteristic. Flare ups are not fun and guilt is greatly attached because its outside your normal personality. For those people who have a husband or wife with flare ups that seem to be growing, pay attention to the time. For instance when I put the kids down I make sure my sugars are in line before I try to do this or I could get angry and I don't want to get angry at the children especially before they go off to sleep. If its after dinner that becomes another time to test sugars and keep a closer control on things. Everyone gets angry, its just when its diebetes related its often for something very small that doesn't make any since to be angry. for instance you're furious for socks on the floor. You'rer not normally crazy about a sock but right now it feels like how could someone hurt me so badly by leaving that sock on the floor. It doesn't make since and after your under control you realize it was nothing, your furious about a sock and you're never furious about socks. Understand.
I have been living with my husband for 10 years and did not know he was a diabetic until 5 years ago. He has had 2 heart attacks and has lost his vision in one eye due to out of control diabetes. He has been verbally abusive for years. He has belittled me and called me every nasty name in the world. Last week, I was a whore. Today, he decided to pick a fight again and storm out of the house. We have a 8 year old which is being effected everyday due to irrate behavior. I was shocked to find this web site and that I was not the only one going through this. I am always at fault for every fight. If I didn't do this, then he would not be angry with me. I now have low self esteem and need to leave for the sake of my daughter.... I don't want her to think staying with an abusive man is ok.
I had been going through the same thing not knowing my husband had diabetes for 10 yrs. I have three children that went through it with me. I hated my life and hated the way he treated me and the kids. Once he was diagnosed and changed his eating habits and tracks his sugar levels he is now the man I fell in love with. He tries very hard to keep his moods under control now. It is amazing he is a different person than he was for the last 10 or more years. Me and my children now know when he starts getting in one of those moods we remind him about drinking more water and check is sugar to make sure its not to high. So if your husband is willing to work with you and controlling his sugar levels than hopefully you can have a better life. I know it has worked for me and I hope things can get better for you to. If you ever need to talk let me know. Joann
1 of my daughter's is with a guy who has diabetes and he also is Bi-Polar.At 1st he seem to be a really nice guy but now he is beating her in the back with a belt and throwing her against the walls and no telling what else he is doing to her.He calls her bad names.She has 2 children by someone else and she is now is afraid to let her own children in the home for several reasons.I'm worried about her and she told me last night she wants out and don't want to be with him no longer.It just not as easy as some people thinks up and leaving.
My other daughter left her husband who has Diabete's.He hurt their 8 week old baby by breaking both of his legs and then later broke his shoulder and arm in 2 places.My daughter didn't know cause she was at work when all of this happened but my daughter kept taking the baby to the Dr. cause all the baby done was cry.She brought the bay here and I told her something has to be wrong cause a baby just don't cry like that for nothing unless something is wrong.I told her to take the baby to a Children hospital and she did and boy what a shock did she get.He also became mean to her by kicking coffee tables at her and blaming her for everything that would go wrong in their life.They have 3 children back to back.He blames his diabetes for hurting the baby.He is also a cheater.Glad my daughter is getting rid of him.This family has been thru so much in the past yr. with everything that has happened and still happening.Were trying to help with the children as much as we can but we are disabled.I grew up being around people with diabetes and they never was mean and hurt people or children.Good luck to everyone who has to deal with stuff like this.
When my boyfriend has his mood swings he gets violent. ive seen him grab his dad around the neck and throw him to the floor, hes tried that with me,but i got away. he will start gritting his teeth and talking real mean, then he will start laughing, then start crying, and holding his head and rocking back and forth. i cant take it anymore, ive been with him for 4 years now, and he doesnt treat me right, after all the standing by him i have done.
Get out, it never changes. Ive been with mine for 4 years and he even gets violent with his, but it isnt him he says. He doesnt try to help himself, eat right, check his sugar, (i have to make him) and im fed up. Get Out, lifes too short!!
AMEN SISTER !!!!!!!!!
I have been a type 1 diabetic for 40 years. I have been on an insulin pump for the last 6 years which has greatly improved my blood sugar control. The mood swings never seem to go away. My husband of 23 years won't have sex with me anymore so I continue to have affairs. I can't seem to maintain a relationship with anyone and don't think I ever will. I feel bad but if I don't have sex I am ready to move on. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Depression but I often wonder if it is just because of the diabetes and not a real diagnosis. I often wonder what I would be like if I weren't a diabetic. Would I still have the same mood swings? I take medication for the mood swings but it really hasn't helped that much. I want to leave my husband because I am so unhappy and I know he is too. I think he has had enough of my behavior and I can't blame him. People with diabetes cannot be like people who are not diabetic as far as the blood sugar control goes. It is very difficult to be regimented in your diet. Its easy for people to judge diabetics because they are not in our place. It is what it is and I don't know if there is a real answer for the problem. It really sucks.
Hi Jenny. I can relate to your post totally. Have been a type 1 diabetic for 40 years and have been on an insulin pump for the last 6 years. The pump has definitely helped my blood sugars but I still continue to have mood swings. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and depression but not sure if this is real or if it is from the diabetes. My second marriage will probably be over soon because my husband and I are both very unhappy. But I really can't maintain a relationship with anyone and have trouble at work as well. I work part time because the stress of full time kills me and I always end up quitting. I take medication for the mood disorders and depression but it doesn't seem to help anymore. I am a very lonely woman. If the tables were turned I know that I wouldn 't be involved with a diabetic either. It is truly an abusive relationship. I think the only answer is to find a cure. My mother always told me that I would be alive when a cure was found but my hope is diminishing. I cry very easily and I get mad very easily. I scream and yell and my poor daughter has been deeply affected by my behavior. She would be fine without me and I know that. Truly a difficult situation. Don't know what else to say.
OMG I AM NOT ALONE!!!!!!!
Thats pretty sad. My wife has it and she can and is mean as hell when her sugars up, and she does have the proper diet and checks andtakes her medicine faithfully but her sugar is still uncontrollable as is her mood. I knw she doesnt want to be thisway, its not the real her. I get pissed and dont wnt to deal with her, but then she has moments of her self before she got sick, the woman I love and I feel guilty and remember its not her fault. She never asked for this. Try and remember, unless you just really dont love him anymore and diabetes is just theperfect excuse to skip out....... I can see that side also though and dont blame you.......It sucks for everyone!!!!!!!!
diabetics have severe mood swings... uncontrollable at times.. they dont even realize how mean and nasty they r being. Is he like that when his blood sugar level is at a lower rate do you know...If so, then he might be the way you describe him. Usually, they calm down and are more stable if their blood sugar is also..
My husband has been a diabetic for 24 yrs. He has been moodiy and abusive for many years. I left him for 2 yrs because I couldn't deal anymore. I came back to him because I got sick and he wanted to take care of me. My adult daughter lived with us at the time and she wanted me to come home too. I agreed and my husband said he would change. Bull! A year later my daughter found her love and moved out and I am stuck here with her dad. Now I cannot afford to live on my own and he tells me if I leave him I won't get anything from him financially, or medical so I am stuck.
Your husband sounds exactly like mine. I have been married to him since 1980. He has been abusive since we married. But it has gotten worst over the years I left him for 2 years because I couldn't deal anymore. Now we have a daughter together and she was living at home. I had gotten sick and wasn't taking care of myself so they both wanted me to move back home so they could take care of me. And he said he would change. Well my daughter moved out after a year. He did change but only for 6 months then the mood swings started again. I feel like I cannot deal with him anymore Last night I cried myself to sleep. I am 62 yrs old and he is 64. I don't look my age and I am not going to let him make me get old before my time. I take very good care of myself. Now my daughter is engaged to a diabetic and their wedding is set for Oct, 2012.
I am afraid for her, that she will go thru what I have gone thru. When I tell my husband he gets mad and says why does everything come back to him/. Because I say her fiancee is exactly nlike him. But I do understand where you are coming from.
OMG I am in the same situation. Two kids with specail needs and hes like a third child. Takes the pump off and wont wear it for weeks> Hes 50 and horrible to me and the kids. I would be gone already but there is no money unless he dies. Last sugar reading was 579. He had 2 stints in two years. Does anyone know what could happen next? He wont acknowledge that he is mean because of his sugars. My twelve yr old son hates him and they fight all the time. My son has aspergers so he hits his father and gets violent with him when his father screams which is all the time. i dont want to get stuck caring for him if he becomes an invalid. I dont want to see him die either. My friends think he has a death wish. i just think hes a stupid jerk. Thanks
I am truly amazed by the amount of women who are mothers who openly admit to being in an abusive relationship! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU? Why would you allow your children to be subjected to such abuse? When I read a mother's post, lamenting the fact that the last of her children has finally left because of her husband - their father's temper and deplorable attitude, it is not the father I initially want to hit with a baseball bat (he would be my second choice) it is the mother!!!! THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR SUBJECTING YOUR CHILDREN TO ABUSE; REGARDLESS!
I am actually searching for a support group for women married to men with type one diabetes.
I fell in love with a man with diabetes and , after being told by my mom who was a nurse, about the complications involved later in life ( i was 21 when i got engaged) I was deepley saddened b/c it was almost like a person with diabetes shouldn't be loved... That was my young mind thinking. My advice- get counseling- and stick with counseling throughout the marriage- read the 5 love languages by Gary Chapman- my husband won't , but hey- i strongly advise it!
My husband has terrible mood swings - he's thrown things at me before- cussed me out several times...
i have seen him almost pass out in a diabetic coma several times- One time we had our then 2 year old with us and we went to look at flooring for our new home.. she threw up on herself in the car from drinking too much juice- got to the place and then he started cussing at me, saying mean hurtful things- then he sat down and couldn't get up but kept shouting obscenities at me- i had to walk up 3 flights of steps in a warehouse place to find him a snack holding a child that had vomit all over her ( he didn't check his sugar before we left- and he ate some crap for breakfast like a pop tart or something stupid) ....i brought back the snacks and he REFUSED to eat them " i don't like that kind of drink, i don't like THOSE crackers" he continued to cuss me out.... somehow i threatened him, oh and his sugar was probably 15 so i guess he was rendered helpless- he ate the food- then after waiting for his glucose level to go back up, we picked the cheapest flooring they had in the joint and came home ( with the vomit in the vehicle that I had to clean up b/c he is a mama's boy and has always been treated special b/c of diabetes) 13 years later this story still is in the forefront of my mind. it was a read flag.
Depending on their sugar control they have mood swings- if it's high they are nauseated, feel badly, urinated a lot, lethargic, grumpy, tired- could really get sick... my husband used to throw up on the side of the road- if it is low they are shakey, nervous, easily agitated, paranoid, mean, - could escalate to throwing things etc...oh and if you get into an argument or upset them, it also makes their sugar level change- then it is your fault b/c you made them mad and upset them and then their sugar gets low.... OY. I have been with him since 1990-
I have no friends..why? He's a very jealous man , so i don't go out with any friends if i do have them-He doesn't drink anymore b/c when he was young he thought he would die by 30 so he partied hard- he met me and i made him straighten up- only now- i never have any fun- EVER- He never takes me anywhere, he never wants to go out with other couples- ( then again- we can't keep friends b/c he is never available to go out with them- at one point i had friends - i hung out with two married couples- they always wanted to go out to eat and go places and have a drink- i would end up the third wheel- they would keep asking, "why does your husband never want to go anywhere" YEAH weird- it made me angry..friendships ended... he truly is never home- he works 3 jobs- he saves every penny- not for US but incase he has a medical emergency- everything is about the diabetes- EVERYTHING- his rainy day fund is for HIM- I love him , but after years of watching him eat badly, be tight with every dime- be selfish and mean, oblivious to our needs...i think i am done.
ANd he is so mommified that he has been known to throw fits when it comes to his mom- if the phone rings and its his mom you better hurry up and answer it- if she cooks you better be there to eat and be on time, he takes respecting his mom to a different level-Once we were at a beachhouse and carrying groceries up a huge flight of the beachhouse steps- his mom called on the cell- he almost had a heart attack answering the phone and then DEMANDED that my daughter , who had 4 bags in her hand and was walking up the steps "TALK TO GANDMA NOW!!!! DON'T BE RUDE AND DISRESPECTFUL!!!!!"... she cried for two hours.... it's almost like diabetes , his mom and his three jobs have been the " other woman" in addition to the porn he likes to watch- or used to - whatever- takng pictures of teenage girls on the beach that are your daughter's age with their legs spread out and zooming into their private area......and your daughter finding it on your camera...not cool Bro.
He's a good man-..yeah ..he's a good man... well, everyone in the community just loves him and thinks he's jesus...... i just need someone to talk to so if anyone can recommend some support groups for women married to type one diabetic men please let me know- or i am going to a loony home.
I didn't mean to be so negative- everyone deserves to be loved- but you will find it is a tough road and very few people have sympathy for YOu the spouse-
you are expected to be perfect in every way.
AS i type this i wish i could get out of this situation. He has controlled my life and his diabetes has controlled me so much- He doesn't like me going anywhere for my job ( i own a dance studio and have missed 15 years of my life and actual ABLILITY to dance injury free at workshops or taking classes in various places to better my craft) If i go somewhere he treats me terribly on the phone, accuses me of being drunk when i am not- makes me feel terrible- when i get home it's guilt trip palooza- i have canceled three different trips in our marrieage b/c he threw a fit that i was going- like a big child) he literally punishes me in such a way emotionally that he has trained me NOT to want to go anywhere- or that is the way it USED to be- now i want to get the HELL out of here and go places- i went to arizona this summer to a dance conference- not only was it sad that i couldn't do things anymore b/c of my age and injuries- i realized how much i had sacrificed for this man. and of course, as predicted, he had me crying on way home- upset my daughter deeply- it was a MOTIVATIONAL seminar for dance teachers.... he was jealous that something made me so happy - so he HAD to ruin it- I guess it' NOT all about his diabetes- but that makes him totally over the top agressive- my daughter said while i was gone for 5 days he acted totally crazy- and she refuses to tell me the things he said about me while i was away- she said she lost all respect for him- all b/c i wanted to go to a conference for dance teachers- i had one alcoholic beverage at the conference- someone wanted to take a picture- i hid the drink for fear i would get yelled at if it ended up on facebook b/c i looked like i was having fun- i have had one bottle of wine in my refrigerator for 3 months- yeah i am such a boozer...
When i had my daughter- he got a cold the week i brought her home- it was MY time- MY time to have that life experience of people showering you with love and affection due to your new baby and the fact that YOU delivered a human being- he wa sick- he took sick to a new level- it was almost like a joke- people were bringing him chicken soup and visiting him and telling ME how i needed to take care of HIM- like he was dying- he had A COLD! and... well, what about that i didn't want my newborn getting a COLD in her first week of life! How dare I!- all i wanted to do was go to walmart for 1o minutes. Always about taking care of HIM ALWAYS. If he had to watch the baby- i would come back- his mom would be there- because he coudln't handle it-
I could keep writing- sorry i am in a bad place-
Just realize- that they will be selfish b/c they have always had to be - they have to be selfish to survive- they have to tend to sugar levels and shots and it is rough on them and they take it out on their spouses and children. Sometimes the spouses and children need the special attention- but Mine doesn't see that.
at this time i don't want to be known as that person who left her ( soon to be) sick diabetic husband - i don't like that guilt- but i am miserable- i have spent my whole life with this man and thought we would LIVE- i knew that maybe his life would be cut short- i thought that meant we would spend time together, laugh, travel, experience life- shoot picnics are experiencing life- I have missed out on things i could have done to better myself due to his selfishness - i have grown to resent him- In his diabetic rages he has told me to pack my $hit and leave- so many times ( and my daughter has heard him) she has no respect for him- She's 15 now- i have explained that the mood swings are why he acts iike that- at age 10 she looked at me and was lke " that is no excuse mom".....
He had an ingrown toenail that he ignored last summer- he tried to "doctor" on it himself- i think all of the marrijuana he smoked in his youth and the low blood sugar episodes must have affected his brain b/c that is just dumb- it kept getting infected and he just wouldnt' go to the doctor- DUH- this morning he is limping around and yelping- GREAT- is this the beginning of my care giving for a man who has only cared about himself the whole marriage? You don't mind taking care of someone you love especially when you know they would do anything for you- right? well- you reap what you sew- I need to get close to God again b/c i am really struggling with this.... what next? a toe amputation, then what? he already has issues in bed- and refused to get that attended to- that hurt me even more- so your "member" is crooked and you won't get that checked out? That told me soooooo much- so if my private area suddenly turned into a giant rectangle.... wouldn't you want me to get THAT checked out? You bet your ass he would!
Gosh- i could just type for days- it's sad- sorry for being such a downer- but you need to know it is not going to be rainbows and lollipops- of course your man is NOT my man- so hopefully you won't have the same situation.God I hope Not!!!
Everyone does derserve to be loved, but one person shouldn't have to change , sacrifice and cater to the other JUST b/c they have diabetes. And your boyfriend/fiance` needs to make sure he knows that- and it should be in the vows!!!!!!!
I read several people's admonitions to RUN! I am hoping you did exactly that! I just recently left my diabetic husband, as I could no longer take the verbal and emotional abuse. This is after I gave him one of my kidneys 10 years ago, as his kidneys also failed. I have been blogging about my experiences for quite some time. If anyone cares to check out my blog, you can find it at: http://type1d.blogspot.com/
I would urge ANYONE who is thinking of marrying someone with diabetes to at least educate themselves first, as it is not for the faint of heart.
Take care all,
It's not just men. I dated a type 1 diabetic for almost 3 years. She was crazy. She was very mean and abusive to me. The relationship was a complete roller coaster and consequentially a train wreck. Thankfully for my sanity it ended. Looking back I was a complete fool to fall in love with such a person. I'm happy it's over
I understand this completely although I feel incredible guilt for saying so. My husband and I have also been together 3 years and each day we grow farther and farther apart. He is now so sick from lack of medical care for too long, that he is on medical leave from work. I am the only one who supports our family and then when I come in from working 48-72 hours a week so we don't lose our home and we can pay back his outrageous medical bills, I am greeted with no respect or appreciation, a home to clean and supper to cook and full care of our small children. I know he's sick and it's frustrating for him and I love him dearly, but he lives thousands of miles from his entire family and the burden of everything falls solely on me. It's to the point we have only about 1 day a week together.. because of his constant sleeping and me gone to work.. and we can barely get through it without a horrific fight. I don't know how to stop this pattern.. I've tried everything. And now divorce is a weekly conversation... His disease is not only killing him, but it has destroyed our family and the love we have for each other..
For all of the great people out there who are living with an ANGRY DIABETIC...please go buy the book "The Miracle of Magnesium." You will quickly see that the disease of Diabetes ROBS THE BODY of MOST OF ITS MAGNESIUM...and this lack of magnesium...causes the ANGER. It is beyond my comprehension that the MD's of this world don't HELP their patients by giving them magnesium supplements.
Magnesium is a very important mineral that your body depends on having to regulate the electrical impulses in the body.
Buy the book...it is a small easy to read booklet..."The Miracle of Magnesium:".
When I try and remind my husband to eat he says I am too controlling.
will not check sugars he claims he knows when they are out of whack
The verbal abuse is just nuts, so kind and then out of no where BAM with hateful mean words
My father is a diabetic. I'm now a married mother of two and I have my own life and he still manages to somehow make my life a living hell every now and then. But the ones who really suffer are the ones actually living with him. I feel so sorry for my mother and siblings who still live with him. He makes HUGE problems out of nothing. He's too sensitive and overreacts to everything. It's depressing. He's also very demanding and asks too much of everyone around him. He thinks that he's the center of the universe and that everyone is obliged to care for him while he doesn't have to care for anyone but himself. Having a conversation with him or being around him is like walking on glass. If you try to give him advice, he'll throw a fit. If you say something that he may think is wrong he'll start banging on things and yelling at the top of his lungs. It's crazy I tell ya.
Your description fits my diabetic father. I guess they're all like that. You should thank God that the relationship is over. My mother has been forever miserable with him and so have me and my siblings. I have no good memories with him. Only bad ones.
how should deal my moods swing if you have any insight on that.oh by the way my name is william sorry
I truly feel for you and anyone else that is living with a diabetic spouse or significant other.
I, too, have suffered from verbally abusive outbursts from my husband, who has had Type II Diabetes for about 20 years now. His angry outbursts are getting much worse and he expects me to have everything in place at home, as I am not working, but my health is suffering and getting worse. Not only because of a very high-risk and difficult pregnancy and delivery, but because I never know when he will yell at me next and this is also affecting our son's relationship with his father. My patience is wearing very thin and I don't know how much more of this abuse I can take. He is getting to be such a really mean man...he has always had a terrible temper, but I had no idea how diabetes would affect his mood swings. He is so much like his father, who is HIGHLY verbally abusive to his very patient and sweet wife, who jumps at his every whim. I told my husband that someday he was going to find himself very alone, because I wouldn't stand for it, nor be his doormat for something that isn't my fault. I don't believe in getting a divorce, but I will definitely move out someday if he continues to get worse. He doesn't even realize how abuse he is getting and doesn't apologize. When I demand that he does, he just glares at me and won't budge. So much for him being a Christian man. Don't let that fool you ladies. Christian or not, this type of verbal abuse is Biblically wrong...but just plain intollerable, even if your aren't a Christian!!!
I started looking into how diabetes effects my mood... and after doing some research online... i see that mood and blood sugar levels are associated somehow. But whats unclear to me is... does your blood sugar effect your mood.. or the other way around?
Of course my family and co-workers are getting the brunt of it. One co-worker and i joke that I should take a midol (hence guy pms). But a few weeks ago.. I realllllllllly lashed out and I mean it was blatantly obvious apparently. Because all my co-workers came by to make sure I was ok etc etc.
I am just at a loss... and my blood sugar has been completely out of whack lately. Yes I have been eating kinda bad. No I havent exercised like I know I should... but I hadnt hit 200 in a long long long time even through all that. Im really concerned that there is something going on. It was better this morning (160)... but I know thats not where the doc wants it... ive been hovering around 160-170 the last few months regardless of how "good" I am.
Anyway... sorry for the TMI... I just dontk now what to do.
Learn to recognize a bad mood and keep
quiet and away from innocent people
when it happens.
I'm married to this wonderful guy, he just happens to have type 1 diabetes. He often has mood swings, I know it's the diabetes, because half the time he doesn't remember the things he says and the other half he blames it on everyone else.
Is there some sort of support group for the people who live with and love those guys. Because some times it's hard to take and very hurtful.
OMG. I am so glad that I found this web site. You all have no idea how grateful I am. My husband has been type 2 for 10 yrs now. And I never realized that his HORRIBLE mood swings were do to his blood sugar levels being out of whack. Now I do. We have been married now for over 10 yrs and together for over 13. I have 2 kids and he has 2 kids. My daughter has been the one who always gets the brunt of his "mood" swings. And every year they seem to get worse. He takes his meds, excerises, goes to the Dr. He does usually does what the Dr. says. But when he runs out of meds, he doesn't get them replaced. He feels he can control his diabetes w/ diet and excerise alone. We all know that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. He should really be on insulin. But he won't do it!!! He has this habit of picking fights not only w/ me but usually my daughter. It's just not fair. Everytime he gets in a mood, he lashes out and it's my daughter that gets it all the time. I have finally have had it. I am going to call his Dr. w/ out him knowing and let the Dr. know what is going on and if things don't change I will take my daughter and leave. This is ridiculous and most definitely not fair to anyone living in my house. Thanx so much for letting my voice be heard and if anyone has any suggestions, feel free to post them.
Thanks for responding to my comments. I haven't written in a while. My husband doesn't want me talking to anyone about "our problems" and is suspicious of me being on the computer. This is so crazy! I use to be this fiercely independent soul. I have decided to work on me! But it's hard. We BOTH have said so many things during the anger outbursts. What's so nutty is I'm giving him a out and a excuse for his outbursts and he still gets mad. He almost had me convinced I was bipolar. Finally a friend came to me and told me she had noticed me pulling away. I put a good front on for everyone else. I would like to see a therapist, but he says not to go without him. I say okay. Then he changes the subject. If I bring it back up... here we go again. I have no one to talk to. He is a very public figure. I am so afraid he is going to fall out from a stroke, then I will had added guilt. I can't talk his doctor either. I know I sound like a whiner, but I am so tired of apology after apology and all the while knowing things will be back to square one any time. Can someone help me with any kind of advice?
I too am married to a Type I diabetic. I have been up since 4:00 AM because we have had another "round" due to a "mood swing" and I am getting to the point that I can't take it anymore. He's a great guy and good person and I am really trying hard to keep this marriage together, but don't know how much longer I can survive without having a nervous breakdown myself. I'm losing my identity! These fights are usually over the silliest thing which will trigger him. I try my best to not let him pull me into this because I'm sure it's his blood sugar level, but when I ask him to check his sugar, it makes the situation worse. Even when I try to just suck it up and not say anything, he will keep badgering me until I get to a breaking point. I'm going out of my mind! It is getting progressively worse and I don't think I can take much more. He says things to me and then will deny he said them and makes me think I'm going crazy. I find that it is a cycle. When he gets me to the point that I explode, he will back down and will genuinely feel sorry for what he's done and be the guy I "used to know" and do something nice. But then, as soon as I let my guard down, he's at it again. Aside from all of this, we have a good life and I don't want to give up, but I don't know what to do at this point. Is there a support group out there for spouses of diabetics in this situation??????
My husband, a 60-years old diabetic type 2, won't take insulin because he is scared of hypoglycemia. His mood swings are also horrible and for no reason at all he will become abusive telling me I am stupid, selfish etc. etc. or sulk for days on end. Also, he suffers a total loss of libido since over a year. Sadly, the horrid periods seem to be coming closer together and I do not think I can go on much longer. Oh, and by the way, he also refuses to talk to his doctor about it...
I would be grateful for any forum and/or advice.
I'm a type 2 diabetic and have been fighting the beast within for going on 4 years now. I know that there is a definite link between my levels and my moods. Before I became a diabetic I use to enjoy a good mixed drink but have since given this up as sometimes only a couple of drinks would put me in a blackout state where I would continue to function but nothing was being saved into memory. So when your husband says that he cann't remember he just cann't. I still do have the sudden and uncontrolable mood swings, which I know are embarrassing and I feel like s*** afterwards. I know that if I'm not in a great mood that I have to watch my sugars closely and do things that make me feel better and i try to stay away from people because i know that even small things can make be go ka-boon. This site has certainly helped as i can certainly relate to everyone's comments. Together my wife and I are trying to figure this out. Carefully watch your sugars if you're having any alcohol if your not in a good mood it will only make it worse. DC
thats so true im the same way yes do have pms all the time because i dont do right
I have been dating a great guy for six months now. It all ended yesterday because I cannot take his crazy mood swings. I am a very laid back person and I thought that it was just how he was but then I started wondering about the correlation of his mood swings & his diabetes (type1). This really saddens me because I do feel bad for him more than anything but he will be such a grump and say some pretty mean things but then later on he "doesn't ever remember" saying half of what was said. Is this a common problem? He is great one day and then next I have to walk around on eggshells because I can sense that he is in a horrible mood. I know his BSL has been out of wack lately. It will go from 60 to 230. Is there anything that can help him with this problem? I had no idea until I found this forum that this was even a common problem. Thanks!
I FEEL FOR YOU AND MY HUSBAND OF 24 YRS DRINKS, AND A BAD DIABETIC, HOWEVER, HE GETS ONLY REALLY ANGRY AND MEAN WHEN HE ADDS ALCOHOL (USUALLY) AND WE PAY FOR IT... HE SSEEMS TO LOVE THE PEOPLE AT THE BAR. AND NO MEMORY OF ANYTHING. YOU TELL HIM THE NEXT DAY..DAMN REALLY, HE SAY'S IM SORRY, AND YOU JUST WANNA SLAP HIM, CAUSE YOU KNOW IT ISN'T GONNA STOP
I UNDERSTAND AND FEEL FOR YOU....
I LEFT HIM FOR 3 YRS, BUT TOOK HIM BACK, I LOVE HIM DUH!!!!!!!!
GOOD LUCK TERESA
I went through your situation for 8 years. For 8 years I hated walking through my front door when i came home from work b/c I had no idea what I was going to be yelled at for that night. It goes from great to bad and the roller coaster never stops. This IS abuse. They are controlling, paraniod that you don't love them, that you are cheating and continually put you down as a wife, a woman, and a mother. After years you have no esteem left and gain weight becuase why not? You aren't worth it right? I got him on the pump, I made doctor's appointments for him, I gave him a carb counter book, i always checked his blood sugars, I would wake up in the middle of the night to make sure he was breathing and not cold and clammy with a low blood sugar. I was living my life for him and forgetting about me. You cannot do it for him. If he cannot accept that he's a diabetic and that he has a duty to take care of himself then you need to prepare in advance and leave!!!!! I was separated two times and every time he was sorry and would change and it never happened. I thought for sure he would change and take care of himself after we had a beautiful little boy. Nope. It got worse and he began throwing things at me while holding our infant son. I stood stong for 4 years after that and then my day of liberation came.
He threatened me. Told me to die. Told me he wasn't an abuser and still has not accepted that and probably never will. but I finally did it. I got him out of the house and my son and I moved back in when he was at work, I changed the locks, and we've been separated for a year now. It has been the most peaceful year of my life and my son is better as well. He still sees his father alot which is what I want but we still have a custody hearing etc to go through. He will likely never accept he's an abuser or a diabetic and he doens't want anyone knowing becuase he knows it's wrong. They are the nicest people outside but once you are behind closed doors, it's a different story and a completely different person. It's a living hell. Get out and God Bless.
I am in Britain, the UK, and finding this website has been a revelation. My husband was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes almost five years ago and we were NEVER told about the "mood swings". The rages, verbal and emotional abuse and almost physical abuse. The denial. Sounds like most of you have been there so you know what I'm talking about. It is sad to read your posts and yet also helpful as at last I know it probably is the diabetes. But I can't do anythng, I'm older, can't leave - can't win - and it's a wonder I have not gone off my head by now. Or murdered or committed suicide. Our daughters live a distance from us and have no idea what a hell this life is, he is all sweetness and light on their infrequent visits, due to distance. Also charms the doctor and nurses. But when we are alone is is a different story. Before this nigtmare began he was a kind and gentle, loving man but now he is, as someone said, a Jekyll and Hyde. We cannot talk about it because he is in absolute total denial and thinks he is unchanged. According to him everything is my fault.
I think this side of diabetes is completely igored by the medical professon. A few times I have asked if his behaviour could be due to the diabetes and have had a muttered non-commital mumble in reply.
Wont write too much except to say thank you to everyone for being so open on this subject. It has made me feel less alone and isolated and although it wont make life any easier, at least I now know all I have learned from your posts. If I was younger I would leave, but that is impossible. The man I married and loved for many years is no more, but in total denial. Everything is my fault, and how well I know the being goaded into retaliating to the verbal assaults and being cursed. I try to let it go over my head but I am human and often retaliate - which makes it worse. he is "fine" and it is me who is not, all my fault. What a life!
I would certainly leave if younger, especially if I had children, because it is never going to get better. My best wishes to everyone living this nightmare, and thank you again for sharing.
we been together over 45 years he is a type 2 diabetic he get so mad and clamps for days
he also get jelous gime a break at our age.
getting tired of it.
is there any help out there or just leave him.
Lizzie, my prayers are with you.
hay my name is quan and im 17 and i know that havin diabeties can affect yur mood cuz when i get mad i slam doors and stuff then when i check my sugar it be high like 333 so maybe he need to check his sugar when hes angry
Do not give up on him yet. I am a type I diabetic for 36 years. Just recently I figured out that my blood sugar levels were affecting my moods. There is a whole lot of problems around how you deal with this but one thing I know, when I lost my temper no one ever sincerely asked me if I was OK. Even with that, it probably would not have helped because I was not recognizing that when my sugars are out of whack my responses become amplified, even though they seem normal to me. When my sugars improve, my mood does too and the situation passes. However, I never realized how damaging the outbursts were. Now I know I can go off for no reason when my sugars are off so I am trying to be very cognizant of both my sugars and my response. I think condeming all diabetics to be alone because you don't want to deal with them is not very loving. Please, try to help your diabetic see his outbursts are a medical condition, then they might respond better.
My husband was just diagnosed a year ago, but was told had undiagnosed diabetes for 10 yrs. I have done alot of research on diabetes and the mood swings have been awful for years, not knowing It was due to any illness had me ready to leave him. We went for marriage counceling and that helped but still not enough. After he was diagnosed and put on medication it was like I fell in love all over again. He was that same man I had met 30 years ago. He has deviated from his diet lately, but is still aware of what he should eat. He does not want to be on medication and his doctor has taken him off on a trial basis. But I kneww that the man is fell in love with was always there somewhere. He has been mean and verbally abusive over the years to me and my children. But now that I know what caused his mood changes it is a relief that with the proper diet and exercise he can be as loving as he always was. So for all the people out I agree with you don't give up they need your love and support and its a disease that is very hard to control. I never forget my vows to love, honor and charis in sickness and in health. If the shoe was on the other foot and it was me I would hope that he would not give up on me. So I know its hard I have lived with and still am but they need us to love them and be there for them since they don't always know when they are out of control. So many other things can cause their sugar levels to go up including stress. So be patient and good luck to all spouces of diabetics. My prayers are with you also. Just remember why you fell in love with that person in the first place.
In your shoes.
This seems to be my life exactly....my husband was only diagnosed a matter of months ago, he also has heart disease and has had a triple heart bypass (last year). He continues to smoke, heavily, and also drinks, heavily....i am at my wits end as he seems to refuse to take any responsibility for his illnessess and i feel like i have another child to look after, and get nothing but grief for it. When i try to talk to him he goes defensive straight away and turns it all around to be my fault.
Pull yourself together. You must be a
real joy to your family/friends/co-workers!!
My husband is a type 1 diabetic and believe me, when his blood sugar runs high and low, it's a really KILLER to our marriage. He never wants to take responsibility for his emotional level, so therefore absolutely refuses to check himself claiming that it's all my fault and being a *****. Well, gee, I wonder why that should come about?!!!!! We're having a wonderful weekend and all of a sudden he's yelling at the dog, proviking it to bark so he can yell at it, or just provoking me for the same reason. I finally get him to check himself and guess what, he's 298. When it comes to he's the only one making any money in the house and feeling sorry for Poor Him, I finally get him to check himself and, yup, he's 48.
Hey, get a grip and take responsibility. It's tough on all of us. I'm trying to find a spouse that has to go through this stuff and find out how they deal with it. This is really getting old.
20 years married to a diabetic and really HATING this **** disease!
OMG! Been married 20 years too to a guy with Type 1. It is getting harder. He hasn't been able to keep a job longer than 2 years in the past 10 years. I worry that if I leave him, he will llive alone and he has had some low sugars in the night in the 20's. It is very hard for me to help him. He fights me, berates me, yells at me and makes me not want to help him. In the end, I know, he could die if I don't wake up at 3am and help him, even when he doesn't want my help. I hear you, he thinks it is everyone else. He yells and makes his demands and we all (me and my 2 teenagers) try to appease him. I have been wondering if this is just his personality or his diabetes. I have health issues too but we all seem to coddle him. I feel like I am trying to raise another teenage boy, not live with my husband of 20 years. Wanna talk?
I was so relieved to find this forum today! I was beginning to wonder if I was being overly sensitive to my husband's moods/anger, but I know I'm not. We've been married for 8 years and he's been diagnosed with Type 2 for 5 years (he may be Type 1 now). He does not control his diabetes--eats whatever he likes and does not take his meds. When he does take them, they bother his stomach b/c he doesn't get over that initial adjustment, so he stops again. He won't follow up with the doctor unless I call, make the appointment, etc. I finally gave up on trying to get him to follow through.
He is quite possibly the most negative person I have ever met and it has become exhausting to live with. He never has anything nice to say about anyone and sometimes it feels like he is just constantly yelling at everyone. We have 2 young daughters (3 & 5) and he just loses his patience/temper with them over the smallest things. Lately, he's been making strange accusations -- one day he couldn't find his wallet and accused me of hiding it from him. This weekend he questioned me about a picture message that I received a few weeks ago (wrong number) and a couple calls that came up as "unavailable" on my phone (it was the mortgage company) as if I was talking to another guy on the side. It seemed so strange and motivated me to search for more information about depression, anger & diabetes. I have always suspected that he is depressed, and I know his anger is awful, but I didn't realize it could be because of his diagnosis. We JUST bought a new house and after this weekend I'm thinking I made a huge mistake, b/c now I feel stuck. Sometimes, I just want to leave. I was taking Lexapro b/c I couldn't deal with it, but I feel like he's the one that needs it. It's not healthy for our daughters or me. We've been to a marriage counselor, but I kind of doubt I'll get him to go back. I'm not perfect--I'll give it back to him, but I'm tired of fighting and living like this. I've started to just walk away or hang up when he starts yelling at me. I'm not going to take it anymore. This weekend he would not let it go though. He kept trying to get me to fight with him -- was poking me in the back and then pulled the pillow out from under my head and threw it across the room. Are there any resources/support groups for people like us? Thanks for reading this.
Yep! Linda, reconsider this relationship. Men are difficult enough as it is with no diabetes. Mom alwas said, during courtship, a man should be on his best. If early on he's already being unkind...that is just the tip of the ice berg...of how he'll treat you once he knows he's "got you" because he's in a serious relationship with you.
Basiscally, ladies, we are all dealing with the same thing here. Men/women problems that are exaserbated by diabetes.
Either we get on our knees and take it to God and give him the time and faith to bring awareness to these guys, or leave.
Sometimes, what has worked for me is too swallow my saddess and pride and say "I know that you may be having problems with your blood sugar and I'm just going to take good care of you right now because I know that you don't really mean those nasty, hurtful things you said." Never fails...it just melts their anger. For the moment anyways. When guys with/without diabetes get too mean or "manly", it seems the only thing they respond to is the opposit quality... soft, mild, selfless femininity. I tend to get all "queen tender feelings" when my diabetic husband gets mean. Those times when I don't fight back and back off, th results are just better. However, if the relationship is abusive, then I think separation either trial or permenant would be best.
Get out of the relationship! If you don't you will end up being his mother, nurse, carer and you will get very little in return, least of all tenderness and support.
Married to a type 2 diabetic since two years and regretting it very much
HI... YOU WOULD NEVER BELIEVE THIS, MY SITUATION IS EVEN WORSE MY WIFE OF 24 YEARS IS ALWAYS ON THE NEG. SIDE OF EVERYTHING I DO, HAS ATTACKED ME WHEN HER SUGAR WAS LOW TWO DAYS LATER ATTACKED ME AGAIN I HAD TO GET A RESTRAINING ORDER AND LATTER DROPPED IT. WE NOW ARE SEPERATED AND MY WIFE SAYS I THREW HER OUT OF THE HOUSE, ??? DOES NOT REMEMBER THE ATTACKS, THIS TIME MY 19 YEAR OLD SON SAW WHAT HAPPENED AND IS STILL TRYING TO LET HER REALIZE WHAT SHE DID , SHE INSIST THAT I WAS PLANING TO THROUGH HER OUT OF THE HOUSE, SHE IS 51 TYPE 1 DIABETES MALETICE, CAD'S AND IN FULL MENOPAUSE, NEED I GO ANY FURTHER, I HAVE BEEN ACCUSED OF THINGS THAT HAVE NOT HAPPENED YET BUT SHE SAYS IT WILL HAPPEN SOONER OR LATER YOU'LL SEE???? NOW SHE WANTS TO DIVORCE ASAP LIKE NOW, NEEDS TO GET ME OUT OF HER LIFE... I HAVE TOTALLY TAKEN CARE OF HER ALWAYS FROM SUGARS READING 17 BED WETTING SWEATS CHANGING HER AND THE BED, SHE WOULD NEVER REMEMBER TO OVER 500 IN THE SAME DAY TO THE POINT OF HOSTILE AND ANGRY AND IT IS YOUR FAULT ALL IN THE SAME 24 HOUR DAY, OH YEA SHE HOLDS A MUNICIPAL CLERK POSS. SHE HAS A PUMP AND THAT STILL DOES NOT HELP, PASSES OUT DRIVING AND HAS BEEN FOUND UNCOUNCIOUS IN HER CAR MORE THEN ONCE, NOW WITH THE THOUGHT OF DIEING ANY DAY SHE HATES ME ,AND THINKS I AM OUT TO GET HER.... YOU THINK YOU HAVE HAD A NOUGH. HER MOM AND DAY THINK AFTER ALL THESE YEARS I SHOULD HAVE NEVER CALLED THE POLICE, I AM A BAD HUSBAND AND NEVER BEEN THERE FOR HER.... TROUBLE AT WORK AND YES SHE IS DRINKING ALCOHOL, ALSO ON ZOLOFT AND 13 OTHER MED'S DAILY.... OPEN FOR FEEDBACK GOD IS THE ONLY ANSWER, I AM PRAYING DAILY.........
Hello there. I just found this site in sheer desperation. I have been seeing a man for almost two years and just recently located 150 miles to start a life together. He has suffered aparrently over the years with depression but just recently has been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabtes. Right now he is not on medication yet...the doctor is attempting diet and exercise first. When dating he was the sweetest, most genuine, kind man I have ever met. For the last couple months the mood swings have been excessive and frequent. I feel like I am living with two different people. I am totally worn out. One minute he is telling me to pack my bags andthe next he is making future plans for us? This is happening now on a daily basis...When i finally get tired of all the treatment i tell him I will be leaving...Then he becomes his old self again it seems..until the next day and the whole cycle repeats again.He is not dealing with the diagnosis well at all even though right now his numbers are not that bad. I am at my wits end. I love this man deeply and know the wonderful is still in there somewhere I am not allowed to discuss his diabetes with him...even simple statements like Oh honey that has 18 grams of sugar in that drink. Maybe we should find something else. Please help with any suggestions......How do I figure out how much of his behaviour is due to depression and diabetes ? Thank you and Blessings to all on this site and the people involved with them...........Dawn
I am not diabetic, but have a diabetic husband.
Believe me it is no fun at times living with a
diabetic. I've lost all sympathy for it.
He often tries to pick a fight at the beginning
of the day and then is loving and
thoughtful later in the day. He's not
apologetic for the most part for his bad
moods---only once in a while does he apologize
and by then he's ruined my day/mood.
I sympathize with you. My husband had Type 1 and constant unpredictable moods. It was like living with an alcoholic--no idea from one minute to the next what would set him off. He blamed it all on the diabetes, but frankly, as a spouse you can't buy this all the time. Not to mention that a spouse with mood swings is rarely "there" for you because they are in one of their moods and unavailable to you. He never apologized for being irritable, moody and wierd. I agree that couples dealing with mood problems associated with diabetes need help--and run, do not walk, to get marriage counseling or family therapy. The answer is not just "put up" with a spouse who is moody and mean (and unaccountable because "it's the illness.") I left my husband years ago and it was a relief. If we had received marriage counseling, perhaps we would have learned how to deal constructively with the negative emotional fallout his diabetes had on our marriage. Diabetes does not give you a free pass to act ugly with your family and colleagues--and then just act as if they are supposed to forget it. If I had diabetes and was wierding out all the time, I would know it was my problem to solve...not everyone else's problem to endure. Get help yourself now, even if your husband is unwilling. A good therapist will help you find ways to deal with this. I frankly think the majority of marriages with brittle Type 1 and some with Type 2 struggle with this. It is malpractice for doctors to pretent they don't know it's a major problem!
I understand what you are going through. For the most part, my husband is a great guy. However, if I tell him that I believe his blood sugar is dropping, he more than likely becomes defensive. When I am right, I do not receive an apology--unless he acts like a complete jerk.
It's getting harder and harder to live with him. We have two daughters (6 months and 4 years), and I feel like I don't want to deal with his diabetes any longer.
My husband is a type 1 diabetic and believe me, when his blood sugar runs high and low, it's a really KILLER to our marriage. He never wants to take responsibility for his emotional level, so therefore absolutely refuses to check himself claiming that it's all my fault and being a *****. Well, gee, I wonder why that should come about?!!!!! We're having a wonderful weekend and all of a sudden he's yelling at the dog, proviking it to bark so he can yell at it, or just provoking me for the same reason. I finally get him to check himself and guess what, he's 298. When it comes to he's the only one making any money in the house and feeling sorry for Poor Him, I finally get him to check himself and, yup, he's 48.
Hey, get a grip and take responsibility. It's tough on all of us. I'm trying to find a spouse that has to go through this stuff and find out how they deal with it. This is really getting old.
Know this must be such a hard time for you. I have a couple of comments for you and they apply to a couple of other people in this thread as well. First, a family member who is having these destructive mood swings and taking them out on their family or spouse MUST let their family member speak directly to their doctor about it. Although it is good (and essential) that the diabetic person him/herself raise this as a crisis issue to their doctor, they should also agree to let their spouse or whomever their behavior is upsetting to talk to the doctor as well. This is necessary because your spouse is unlikely to describe the real impact his/her behavior has on YOU because they 1) are too out of control when they act out that they actually can't remember what they said or did and 2) your feelings, not theirs, are the issue. You are being "expected" to put up with conduct that is simply unacceptable and abusive. I do not know of ANY endocrinologists who would ADMIT that HOSTILE OUTBURSTS and RAGING MOOD SWINGS are NORMAL--they are NOT NORMAL. (Note: have you noticed how difficult it is to find, on any diabetes website, acknowledgement of mood problems? There's a reason!) The doctor needs to know this is going on--it is critical. It shows that the current treatment is NOT WORKING CORRECTLY. Your spouse may need a big adjustment in his insulin timing, number of shots, or whatever. The doctor must be told BY YOU that if this does not get under control, you are planning to leave your spouse. Believe me, unless the doctor is a quack, they will snap to in a hurry and seriously reconsider the treatment they are recommending as well as whether your spouse is actually doing what he/she is supposed to. Providing that the treatment is effective (blood sugar stays in good range nearly all the time) and your spouse takes responsibility for bad behavior (apologizes when blood sugar is clearly to blame for outbursts), then there is another possibility--that your husband is suffering from a concurrent disorder like depression, bipolar disorder, etc. Both these conditions are suggested by angry outbursts and mood swings. So it may have nothing to do with diabetes at all. A KEY QUESTION: Is your spouse "working with" you or against you? If they admit their behavior is bad and express sadness over it and what it is doing to your marriage and want to get help, talk to their doctor about it and let you talk to their doctor about it, then they might just be diabetic and there is totally hope for your relationship. If not, though--they don't admit their hostile outbursts and nastiness are inappropriate and hurtful, they do not apologize to you (or worse, blame you), they do not tell their doctor about their outbursts and mood swings (i.e. request help) and forbid you to tell the doctor, then your spouse's problems sound psychological--they are in denial and/or have some other emotional problem!!!! Whatever their problem, you cannot be expected to endure abuse and have to take care of yourself. Get out of there. There is NO ACCEPTABLE REASON for a spouse to act abusively and unapologetic about it--this is abuse, period. If you talk to your spouse's doctor, give explicit examples of the behavior...I guarantee that no doctor is going to condone it as something you are supposed to "put up with" because it is the disease. Even people married to destructive alcoholics are told--do not ever accept abuse from your drunk spouse...REHAB CENTERS DO NOT PERMIT ALCOHOLICS TO ACT UP LIKE THIS no matter how ill they are. Ponder whether your issue is really "abuse" and not about diabetes at all. Also, consider whether your husband is like this around other people (at work, at his relatives, at neighborhood functions, etc.) or just behind closed doors at home. I knew diabetes was a cover for my now ex-husband when I realized his crazy behavior was at home (and very rarely any other place) and he tried to blame everything on me. As i said in an earlier message, I left him after a 20 year marriage and have never had a day where I would want that life back. I believe his problem was not his diabetes--he used it as an excuse.
This could have been posted by me ! It's always in the morning that my husband just can't deal with anything and anything can set him off into a rage ! Later in the day he is back to his regular self (no appologies...as if it never happened). All the crap has ruined family life and our marriage. He has had type 2 for several years, does exercise but seems to think he can eat whatever. Usually when I am away for a few days he will buy butter tarts.
Sorry you have not been well supported by the medical community. I am a fairly new diabetic (15 months)..originally classified as a type 2, but about 7 months ago re-diagnose as a type 1...
My endo told my husband and I both (my husband is always welcome at my dr appts, and prob goes to about half--he is my rock) about mood swings. I get very drunkish when low--but grouchy when I have big swings either way--hubby says not nasty. He (and my children-both adults) always can see my numbers--my log book sits on the coffee table when I'm home. we are not hiders of the fact there is a diabetic in the house (glucose tabs in many rooms too)
He even learned how do do my infusion sites (shots before that) for my pump, and helped/helps me when I need it (I am a horrid needle phobe)
Both our local hospitals have support groups for the families of diabetics,,maybe one of your does?
Some of your comments speak such truth, but, you left your husband and it sounds like you don't have to deal with this anymore. Yet, you are reading about this online and have ( so much )to say to other married women about all that they should be doing. (?) You're still dealing with some unresolved issues too.
Please stop advising women that verbal abuse, rage, bad behaviors and so on aren't "normal" for diabetes sufferers. There is so much documentation for this both online and in books. Obviously, there wouldn't be so many similar testimonials in this forum if these weren't normal behaviors for people experiencing extreme highs/lows with regards to their Blood sugar. I'm more interested in what role diabetes plays in all of this.
People need a really strong "why am I going to do this" to get inspired to change his/her condition. Diabetics need alot of outside help. medical, counseling and spiritual. Key is understanding of this disease, patience and helping your partner to see how much they need outside help. By any means- besides arguing, forcing or brow-beating. That's tricky. Does anyone have a testimonial about what has helped to inspire your partner's trust in you? Don't misunderstand, walking away may eventually be the right thing to do, but, it is always the easy way out.
Goggle "diabetes and rage" or "diabetes and behaviors/hostility". Plenty of forums where honest diabetics have the courage to share with us that they have bad behaviors when they're blood sugars are out of balance.
Any Dr. or endochrinologist who knows anything will tell you about the connection. Look up Blood suagr in the index at the end of any book on psychology, depression, or anger management. Blood sugar affects our thinking and our mind! So much more evidence to suggest it does than it doesn't. What diabetics are experiencing is real and causes depression and severe anxiety and rage at times. I speak from experience with my husband and family members. Does a Bipolar have severe high/low moods when not treating their condition? Does an obssesive compusive act out ritualistic compulsions when not under going treatment? We accept that don't we? Diabetics have stange behaviors when BS is out of the healthy range period. They will tell you this. You can lean on the philosophizing of people who don't have diabetes, or you can learn from the people who know better than anyone.
Is it fair? No! Is life fair? I'm sure there's alot we could be doing better when our spouses start to act up. Do we argue back and fight it out? Be honest with yourself? Women in particular aren't good at backing off when men are mad or out of control. My aunt has been such a good example to me of how to handle a husband with diabetic mood swings. She accepts it. She talks to him about it after he's calmed down. Then, he usually goes and takes some additional insulin. She thinks enough of herself and her marriage not to lose her influence over her husband by letting his moods beat her down. She accepts that he won't be perfect around their family 100% of the time. She's from an older genration. They've figured some things out that are lost on us younger women I'm afraid. Hope this was helpful in some way. Not intended to imply that I don't empethize with all of you. Just want you to take a more balanced look at this.
I am a 26 year old single mom of a two year old son. I have been dating a type one diabetic for a little over a year. Recently we started living together, and the last three months seem to be hell. I have read all the previous postings and I can totally relate. I know very little about diabetes, and my boyfriend seems to want me to remain uneducated on the topic. I believe this is because he has a genuine sweet tooth and also is very prideful. I know the way he manages his diabetes is wrong. He is hospitalized just about every four or five months with ketoacidocis, vomiting and such. Daily, his blood sugars run from the low sixties to anywhere in the three hundreds, cycling many times during the night. A few times a week he spikes all the way to the high five hundreds! He is insulin dependent and takes his shots like he is supposed to, yet his blood sugars are totally unmanageable. He goes most days without any meals or snacks and then eats a large dinner, jacks up his insulin.. and spends the night tossing and turning in and out of bed.. he seems to spend his days and nights eating glucose tablets and juice or taking shots and feeling nauseaus... he wont let me give any input on the situation. :( I am telling you all this because his moods are insane. One minute he is sad and depressed and feels everyone lets him down, blaming me and his family for not loving him, or "saving him" from whatever drama he has that day.. then the next, seemingly out of nowhere.. he is upset with me.. over the smallest things. I always tell him he thinks too much, and analyzes too much and picks me apart but that just makes it worse. He tells me i'm selfish and that i dont love him, and just gets sooo mad. Yelling and screaming like a moody teenager. He finds fault somehow in everything i do. And seems to have paranoid and controlling thoughts. The biggest problem is that after a few days of his badgering and nonstop criticizm, i loose it. I need some space. I can only take so many put downs before i snap, and when i do, suddenly i am using his disease against him. He says it's not his fault he acts this way and that if i break up with him for this behavior that i am breaking up with him because he is diabetic. I have read online so much about mood swings and blood sugars, but what is normal. Is it normal to yell and slam things? is it normal to get in my face and scream at me? I mean, some may say it isn't but what if he really can not control it??? I am so confused and tired of feeling like an emotional punching bag. The worst part is that he is the most amazing guy i have ever met. When he is acting normal, he is the most caring and affectionate man i have ever met. I just dont understand if this is normal for having such high blood sugars or if it is him using his diabetes as an excuse to treat me like crap? I dont want to leave him if this is something that can be managed a little better. I am bipolar myself so i understand the mood swings, but i dont yell or say hurtful things.. i do act quite ridiculous at times, but to be completely honest, i have controlled some of the worst manic episodes immagineable. any input would be appreciated.
I really don't know what to say. My fiance sent me to this link (which I see now is a forum) after apologizing for the millionth time for his horrible outburst and berating me. I am constantly crying and upset. My family life is not good and work is not a refuge so I feel imprisoned. I guess it's just relief to know it may not be me after all.
I will get married with him next week, should I just cancel my marriage. I don't like mood swing and blame on me.
What should I do.?
Any good diabetes man , no mood swing?
Don't Do it! I have been married to my husband for 9 years! He was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes five years ago. All of the previous posts are true! I don't need to say more. However, we seprated for about a year and I let him back in...it was the worst mistake of my life! He will not keep a job for over 7 months. WHen he is working, he is complaining all of the time...he goes into the job looking for the bad instead of making it a good situation. I am the bread winner and need to be treated like a woman....instead, I treat him like a woman, try to support him, cook for him....and the list goes on. If I get rid of him again, he is not coming back!
I am just tired of putting my children through this too....I don't want my daughter to gow up feeling like she has to be with a man who abuses her verbally and emotionally...it is just not worth it!
I just stumbled on this website. In our town we do not have a diabetic support group and I do not understand why! This is a huge. Alot of us need support from each other! I met my husband 5 years ago and we have been married for 4 years. The friends he had around him never told how severe he was. I also met his parents and they did not tell me anything. So I fell in love with this wonderful guy and we got married and now I cry by myself alot. He does have mood swings and he doesn't realize how important it is to keep up with everything. I can certainly understand that person that said "run your not his mother".
It will be the most difficult thing you will ever do in your life. I have talked with my husband and he explained to me that he does every thing he is supposed to do, he takes his shots he checks his sugar he doesn't drink (some wine sometimes) but he also said sometimes these things just happen even if you are doing everything that you are supposed to. I told him then the next time he talks to the doctor he better let him know if my husband needs to change his medicine.
My husband is 43. In two weeks we have to go to Denver so he can get put on the transplant list. From the 3rd grade to present he has had so many ups and downs that it has damaged his sight, hearing and he has extremely high blood pressure.
You know what's hard for me? I love this man. Sure I do not like the name calling but I have learned to work around that even if it means I need to walk away. I have really had a lot more good times with him then bad. I have had plenty of opportunities to leave him but I just gave up.
Deciding wether or not to marry a person that has a disability is totally up to you. But if you ever need someone to talk to. Then we are all here for you. Did you marry him?
this has really shed some light on what I’m going though with my boyfriend of
two years who is diabetic. He is a great guy.... and then he gets into a mood
or drinks and becomes a total a-hole. This has been happening more and more.
It’s almost like he turns into a different person. I'm pretty sure he
might just be an a-hole at this point. How much can I blame on sugar levels?
like being verbally abused.
like being left at home while he's out with his ex-girlfriend/best friend.
like having to be around a grumpy, moody, immature man. would better health
mean nicer more considerate boyfriend?
Boy oh boy, this all sounds familiar. My husband does the same thing, only he's always been sort of a bastard. I do feel as if I'm in an abusive relationship and our child is sometimes afraid of him.
It is disheartening to see how many people are wanting to leave their relationships due to severe mood swings on their diabetic partner's behalf.
It is also disheartening to see how many people use diabetes as an excuse to constantly lash out and behave in ways that are arrogant and verbally abusive.
Having been a type 1 diabetic since I was 16 years old, I know ALL about the struggles of diabetes and mood swings. A stressful event, lack of sleep, a slight miscalculation of insulin dosage, a change in the weather, and even waking up on the wrong side of the bed can cause me to have erradic blood sugar numbers. When my blood sugar is high, I will feel depressed, lethargic, and unable to concentrate. When it's low, I can be anything from insanely silly to flat out irritable. Still, I am aware of the way I may behave when my sugar isn't within my target range and I try my best to make sure no one has to deal with it but me. I have gotten slightly snappy at co-workers (I work in management and it is stressful enough as it is, so add low blood sugar to the mix and *GRRRR*) and have become cranky at significant others for seemingly no reason while low, but I have always apologized afterwards and felt horrible about it. It's not the fault of the people around me that I have diabetes!
My philosophy on people blaming their diabetes for unacceptable actions is simply that most of us are tired of dealing with it. It is truly a difficult thing to cope with, and no matter HOW much we would LOVE to, we obviously can never take a vacation from dealing with our disease. The "woe is me/screw the world!" mentality is an easy one to succumb to when we think about how we have this burden every second of our lives and other people have no idea what it's like to deal with it. What some of us DON'T realize, of course, is that MOST people struggle with SOMETHING and using it as an excuse will only make us more frustrated... and guess what... being frustrated raises the blood sugar!
Alcohol and diabetes don't mix well, either. I've pretty much quit drinking completely, outside of the occasional one drink here and there, because it was horrendous for my control. Drinking already causes changes in mood, so double it with diabetes and you're in for a disaster. It is a crap thing to face as most of us want to appear as normal as possible and don't want anyone to think diabetes can stop us from doing anything, but being drunk if you're diabetic just isn't a smart idea.
Good luck to all of you with moody spouses. Tell 'em you heard from a fellow diabetic that they need a reality check. (Give 'em a hug first, though!)
It was so comforting to read your thoughts on this very uncontrollable disease. I am trying to understand how hard it is on a person dealing with this on a daily basis. My boyfriend is not doing so well with the coping and handling of his moods. He lashes out on me for the smallest things but I have learnt to keep quiet when I can sense him going into a mood. They do not remember what it is they say and when he finds me crying about something he said he does not understand as he has forgotten how cruel his words were.
I can understand anyone wanting to leave a relationship with a Diabetic but someone has to learn to understand how hard it is for them and be there for them! They do need someone to hold them and tell me we are there for them.
I am going crazy, or at least that is what my husband says. Married 26 years, with three grown boys. He was diagnosed two years ago with type 2, started meds, and completely changed our diets. Stopped the meds..for almost a year. Just got started again on metforim two months ago, and his abuse has actually escalated. He drinks at least a bottle of wine per day, sometimes 10 shots in mixed drinks per night if he goes out. I just had to get a restraining order yesterday to protect myself. I am so disheartened. I am sick. I now know that his moods were affected by blood sugar levels before he was even diagnosed, but now they are becoming more violent and unpredictable. The name calling, the aggression, the depression. I have lost 10 pounds in the past two weeks, and was diagnosed with an ulcer last week, go figure. OF COURSE EVERYTHING IS MINE OR THE BOYS FAULTS. He will not admit that he has mood swings, but has been saying that he feels like he is having a nervous breakdown. I think that our marriage may be over as he has been saying that he wants out, anyways. And I will never figure out if it was really just the person that he is, (he had some of these tendencies his whole life, but is a really great guy) or if it is actually the diabetes. Either way, he has to make the decision on how to treat himself. And I have to make decisions on how I will be treated, and how to treat myself. Everyone say a prayer for me and my husband.....thanks for listening. I felt like I was reading my very own story...
I am a type 1 diabetic and I have been for 3 years now.
I found this site while searching for some answers to my moodiness.
Unfortunately my fiance and I got into a fight last night and she threatened to walk out on me, in the last few months we have fought more and more and she cries all the time because I act like a jerk when I am in my moods.
Let me tell you when they say that stress messes with your blood sugar boy are they right, when she walked out of the house, I lost it and I didnt know what to do.
I always say that my moods are caused by the fluctuations in my blood sugar's.
But atleast I can admit that I am moody and I dont always treat my fiance right.
But to tell the honest truth sometimes I have no clue what is happening.
Sometimes when we fight I just sit quiet, I feel so bad I just dont know what to say other than sorry. I want to say more but, I am afraid the more I say the more I might hurt her and I dont want that. I am really in love with her and we are supposed to get married in 4 months.
There are days that goes by when I am amazing according to my fiance but then there are days when I hate the world, I dont know why and I cant answer that question.
There are also days that I want to cry because I am sick of feeling like a pin cushion all day and every day, and as most doctor's tell you " for the rest of your life"
When you have lived 24 years of your life like a normal person and being able to do whatever you want whenever you want then suddenly one day all of that is taken away from you, it has been the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. When I was diagnosed I cried for almost a week, and I could not accept that fact that it happened to me. From that day it got really hard, I got really good at counting carbs and eating healthy and I still do but 3 years ago I felt so depressed because I didnt have the freedom I once did, even now I have that feeling sometimes, not as much but it is a feeling that will unfortunately always be there until there is a cure. Even when i have a positive outlook on life and I am in a good mood, things can turn the complete opposite in a matter of seconds, but no one, not even doctors can explain it other than fluctuations in blood sugar.
Anyway, luckily I have never been to the point of saying I wish I was never put on this earth, of course I am glad I am on this earth, I love everything about my life other than diabetes, my fiance has been by my side through everything, but still this damned disease is attempting to beat us and I do not want to let it win because I love my fiance too much.
So as I came into work today I thought, if it is blood sugar fluctuations that are causing my moods, what can I do to fix it.
I decided to look at an insulin pump since it is probably the next best thing to a cure.
So I am going to try that because I cannot have any more fights or treat my fiance like dirt, she doesnt deserve it , no one does.
So I am hoping that if the insulin pump helps keep my blood sugar's normal, that I can lead a happy, healthy and long life with my Fiance who will hopefully love me and not despise who I am because of this disease.
Needless to say, the unfortunate reality is that no matter what you say to someone being diabetic or not, you cannot change who or what that person is unless they are willing to change themselves.
You can say all you want to them, and get into as many fights and debates as you want.
But in the end it is up to that person to change.
type 1 for 13 years diagnosed at 29 what a life changer! Always known for being unfazed and easy going- well balanced person. I now suffer from depression and mood swings this inturn affects my control. Depression causes you to neglect your control hence a vicious cycle begins. No one tells you there is a link between diabetes and chronic mood swings. There is. Maybe due to the psychological effects of managing chronic illness but I am sure the physiological effects of fluctuating blood glucose the release of adrenaline and other hormones during hypos will have a harmful effect on our brain. MORE RESEARCH NEEDS TO BE COMPLETED.
I have know this man for 2 years but we are not married yet..we both are in 11th grade and he got diagnosed 2 years ago...with diabetes. sometimes he is just so sweet and sometimes he is abusive. He beats me and curses and other times he is nice and sweet..i dont know what to do! any help?
Well, I have never gone to the point of physical abuse with my fiance, I think any man who is diabetic or not should be shot for physically abusing a woman. No woman/or man deserves to be hit by there significant other.
So I would say if you are being physically abused, then he doesnt love you.
If he loved you he would treat you with respect and love, not hate and abuse.
Even if he is bad one minute and good the next minute, he obviously has abusive tendencies and you should leave sooner rather than later.
You can try helping him, but if he has an abusive attitude he will just get upset and hurt you again.
If he is having mood swings like crazy and he is diabetic the only thing you can do is try and help him get his blood sugars under control, they are obviously fluctuating alot if he is going from good to bad. Is he seeing his diabetic team(nurses,doctor's)on a regular basis, if not then that is the first step to get his sugar levels under control.
Once they are under control he may not have so many mood swings.
Based on the sound of his attitude he might still be in denial of his diabetes, I was and I still am pissed at the world that I had to get this disease, I dont want to be mad but sometimes having to stick yourself with needles and prick you fingers all the time gets kind of old, and its hard to be happy all the time.
bottom line is, if he is physically abusing you, you need to get out.
You are in the 11th grade, you have tons of time and you are still young.
I am sure there is someone out there who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
I went through a somewhat abusive relationship, I was with her and I say again "her", I say this only because it is usally the man that is abusive to the woman, but not in my case. So anyway I was with her for almost 10 years, it took me that long to leave and I regret not leaving earlier. Once I left, 3 months later I found my current fiance and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Thanks and good luck.
Thanks so much for your advice! I appreciate it and I will follow your advice! thanks again!!!
My father has been diabetic since before I was born. I am 27 now and I can't tell if it is worse now. When I was a kid he kept his diabetes somewhat secret we did not talk about what it was. It casued me to have nightmares that he would die, because I did not know what diabetes was. When I was kid and saw my fathers outburst they terrified me. I never knew what I was doing wrong, he would scream and yell, break my toys and sometimes even hit me. My mother is a distant person and will not speak about the outbursts. She will not tell me when things are getting worse, she just says he is fine.
I had no idea this could be realted to diabetes until a few years ago. For those of you with children in these situations, I suggest you at least talk about why this happens. Growing up I always felt it was my fault he was angry and I never could figure out what I did wrong. It still happens to this day but at least I don't live there anymore. I try to understand it is his illness making this happen, but when he eats the way he does he is not helping himself either.
you are much too young to be experiencing these problems with your man. I am telling you now, you will have a lifetime of heartache with him if he is abusive to you now. You must get your little head together and make changes. You are "in for it" if you do not break up with him the next time he flares up with abuse. Cut it short, cut it off before you progress much longer with him. The longer you stay, the harder it is. i think you know yourself you are doomed if you stay with this man or you would not have any reason to write in this blog. I have faith in you that you will make the right decision for your life.
I am Type II diabetic and did not realize until I watch the TV serial "House" in which they finally relates a patient's mood swing with insulin. Next day I forgot to take my medicine and went to mow the lawn when I came back after two hours I felt I am angry for no reason then I started searching on internet about the mood swing on diabetic patient. I also realize that mood can change even everything in the family is good nice weather nothing to fix inside or outside the house and no apparent reason to get angry but I do get angry once in a while. I would like to know medically when mood swing starts. Is it due to low insulin? I walk regularly and play Tennis once in a week and soccer twice and take medicine regularly. I need help to keep my mood normal so my children do not have negative attitude in their life and they love me as my father.
My husband is a type i diabetic and has massive mood swings/confusion when he becomes hypoglycemic. He then will not even recall the episode after his sugars return back to normal.
I have gotten good at guessing when he has these episodes and have been awoken at night to him having an episode while he's still asleep. I can wake him up and feed him, (ignoring his strange behavior). He gets a crazed look in his face and doesn't recognize me, and speaks very derogatory to me. He also will do silly things. It's very strange, though I have grown used to it.
He can also have severe mood swings when his sugar drops. He breaks out in a major sweat, then looks at me and starts spouting how I am the blame of everything going wrong, etc,...becomes extremely hateful. I keep my distance because he once attacked an EMS guy.
I worry about this because he has always been sensitive to hypoglycemia and it happens quite frequently. (Every few weeks or so). My sister is also a type 1 but she does not experience hypoglycemia as he does.
Tonight he kept calling me a "purty lady" in this weird country voice, growled, flopped himself out of the bed, fell out of the bed...He was aware enough to eat so I put candy bars in his mouth and he finally returned to normal.
It's amazing how this disease affects so many people differently in this aspect.
I agree with a woman in this blog that the medical profession plainly has ignored what many women are going through with their diabetic husbands. The anger outbursts, the terrible sudden rages over the slightest thing, it is just awful. I have been in this marriage for a long time and it has been so difficult for me, I think my life will be shortened due to the stress he has caused. Yet he feels I have caused HIS stress.
Blames me and my family who have tried to communicate with him and be on friendly terms but he is highly critical of me (when I do so much for him, it breaks my heart) and my family members. I am suffering through this marriage. He is now seeing a specialist for his impending kidney failure and his emotions are worsening with depression, anger, and I do not know what is to come but it does not look good. I am scared and I know that he is but I have to watch my words. I feel for everyone in this blog that lives with a raging diabetic especially because we love them for the good side of them and there is so much to tolerate in loving them. May God bless you all and help us all through our suffering with them.
Thank you for the site and the stories! I get the mood swings from my husband and the accusing and pointing of the fingers. OH MY goodness JEALOUSY for some reason is building up! I'm always there and always taking care of him. Just don't get it. But my biggest problem is when he is waiting for an answer and I have no answer for him and he is waiting. what is the right answer? If you are a diabetic man what do you want to hear?
I have notice that alot of you are saying husbands have the moods swings. My mother has type 2 and her mood swings unbareble. She has daughters, she has pushed away with the mean and horrible things she says about husbands, the daughters and children. She's on her last that will help her. But, when We tell her We think it's her diabetes she goes into a rage. She will not listen to her Doctor or to her children on how to control the diabetes. She puts the blame on us, that we do not come and see her. It is hard to go visit someone who is angry and wants to fight and yell and tell you how horrible you are. The visit start out good.But, always end in a argurment because something triggered her to become angry. Then you leave feeling guilty for fighting with your mother and knowing in your heart you don't want to come back to the same fight. But, you do because she's your mother and your love her.
I am not glad that there are other people out there that go through this too. Because, this is a terrible thing to have to live through whether your married to it,or it's a parent. But, I'm glad that I'm not the only one-that my family is not crazy. And I applaude the people who have diabetes, who try and control the mood swings.
Thank you for letting me share my story.
From A Mother's Point of View
I had the kindest son. He was always considerate and thoughtful of everyone.
After graduating from school, he moved across the country to live, and he ended up getting a great job.
But then he was diagnosed with diabetes 1 when he was 31 yrs old. When the Doctor told him, he phoned me and he was crying.
Eventually, my life caused a particular set of circumstances, and I finally ended up having to also move across the country--and I moved in with him. I have been living with him for 4 yrs now.
All I can say is, what a contrast! Since he has been diagnosed with diabetes 1, for no apparent reason, he will blow up and say the most awful things, including things that are not true. His memory does not seem to be working well and he makes many false accusations that are not true, and have never been true, and he does not even have his facts correct. His mood swings will cause him to say one thing one minute--and the exact opposite thing the next moment--many times, things that are very hurtful, or just plain incorrect. Usually, at those times I will withdraw to my room because to continue to try to reason with him logically, or to correct the facts only makes him angrier and madder, prone to more outbursts and more accusations. Then amazingly, he has absolutely no recollection of the conversation ever having taken place, or of his having made any angry remarks and outbursts at all!
I should add here that he also drinks, which I don't think he should be doing. I don't know if this is adding to his mood swing problems, or how much. He usually drinks a few martinis when he comes home from work, or instead will consume 1 whole bottle of wine by himself. At first, I mentioned the drinking, but of course, my bringing up the subject only made him angrier.
One day, after I had enough, I went to his Doctor's office in person to discuss these upsets, but no one there would tell me anything because of HIPPA. The Receptionist said that she could not even admit whether or not he was a patient there because of HIPPA.
I have tried every approach with my son, but nothing works when he's having his mood swings. Usually, withdrawing to my room works best. Then in the morning, he remembers nothing. It's a sad way to live and very depressing for me.
I care about my son more than anyone. I pray for him and pray for a total cure to this destructive disease.
I'm so appreciative of this site because I didn't know that other people were also experiencing similar situations. Please pray for a cure....
I'm married to a man who has mood swings. He has not been diagnosed with diabetes but what I've been reading in these blogs fits him. Blaming others, getting furiously angry at the smallest, most petty things I've said or done. Recently, we have been reading the Bible and praying together. Of course, he had to come to the point where he wanted to do this, but I prayed for God to help our situation for about 6 years. I don't know if any of you in these blogs are believers in God or if you pray, but it might be something you can try whether you are the one with diabetes or the one dealing with the diabetic. To make a long story short, he has quit drinking so much (now just one beer once or twice a week), has started eating more healthy more often, getting more rest, and like I said, reading the Bible and praying a lot more and it has helped tremendously!! Praise God. I'm sorry that all of you are going through this. I hope this helps and I personally will pray for all of you!!!
Having just ended a relationship to protect my own sanity I do believe my partner's mood swings and bouts of depression are linked to his diabetes. I am pleased I found your site and have read so many comments on the subject. My only regret is that I wish I had found out sooner. Loving someone with the condition was entered into far too lightly, walking away from him, heartbreaking. I honestly thought I was going mad. Tired of having to repeat the answers to the questions he had asked time and time again. I'm an educated woman and was beginning to think he was either mad or deaf. The days of silent treatment then cruel, hurtful words were just too much for me in the end. The heart can take so much.
My god this site is truely a lifeline! I joined diabetes Uk hoping to get advice from the wives and partners of type 1 diabetics.
I've been reading all the posts and feel choked up and also relieved as I know that other women are experiencing the same problems with their partners.
My boyfriend has had type 1 for 20 years and I moved in with him 10 mths ago.
He works long hours but has his blood sugar pretty well controlled however the moodswings are unbearable. No matter what I do, it's not good enough and believe me I do EVERYTHING!! In addition to the horrendous moods he is completely beyond reasoning and I am made to feel that I am the problem. Usually a few days later I will receive an apology of sorts and promises of reform then its back to square one again! Sometimes it very hard to love him and then I feel bad. He has never hit me but I feel that abusive behaviour, shouting, lack of respect etc is just as damaging. I have drawn a line in the sand a few times but feel that I'm losing all control of the situation. He is (while in normal mode) a wonderful man and I don't want to give up on him. Of course as time goes on the condition will worsen,
He has diabetes related conditions too.
Underactive thyroid, high blood pressure, high cholestrol, stomach problems from medication! erectile disfunction and now the start of neuropathy!
I would love to hear from anyone that is in the same boat with any advice and tips to deal with the bad days and even better would love to hear of success stories!
I take my hat off to all of you that are going through this and dealing with it better than I am!
hiya you replied to my post in november with same problems as i have, i did go back to him and it has happened again, I have myself ended up in hospital as i was involved in an accident as a result of how devasted i have been with his treatment he refused to come to the hospital or even acknwledge my existence i am just out of hospital and wondering if christmas is going to be a nightmare because i am with him or because i am not, i truly wish i could stop loving him my family and friends are in despair with how much he has hurt me but i know he needs help himself so any advice would be great .. is just good to know i am not alone
I'm sorry to hear you had an accident, I hope you have recovered? I too left my man, there was one too many Jeckyl and hyde incident and I left while he was at work, frightened. Anyway, he pleaded with me to come back and promised he will change. In fairness he's been making a huge effort and as I speak is at the doctors to try and get help with his rages. It sounds to me that your man is still in denial, I think me leaving gave my man the wake up call to do something. He has two broken marriages and three children that have suffered due to his behaviour. He has asked me to marry him and I have accepted on the condition that he gets the help he needs to change. I wish I could give you words of hope an encouragement but I realise that you are in a bad place right now. Concentrate on getting yourself well and strong again and I hope the loving man that you only got 20% per cent of the time comes to his senses as has mine. Please put yourself first. Even if you dont get back with him, you WILL get over him and will be stronger for it. I hope you do have a lovely Xmas, be with the people that care about you. Take care x
This is long, but, I think, worth reading:
I am 22 years old, I was diagnoised with type 1 when I was 16... I've read all the posts on this page...the ones about people having to deal with their partners with diabetes, and the hell that it is.
I exercise very often, and run a couple miles when I have extra time. I'm 5'11", 160lbs, very fit on the pump, eat quasi-healthy, and yet, I still have horrible, horrible mood swings. And when they happen, in some way I understand what is going on, but there is no clarity. There is no moment to pause and help myself; I'm too far gone, and the rage that consumes me cannot be fought against.
I'm actually on here tonight because the person I've been dating, who I love so much, I told them a few hours ago that I do posses any capability to love them; that I do not want to be with them. And even as my rage said such things, I knew them to be false. After reading the posts of how hard it is to live with people like me, I dont think I'll talk to him anymore; I do love him, but dont want to subjegate him to this forever.
For THOSE MARRIED, FOR THOSE WHO CANNOT ESCAPE, I offer this piece of advice that works with my boyfriend when I get in my rages (and yes, this is a guy talking, not a girl, so it should apply to your husbands); the only thing that has ever worked for me when I am in the middle of my moodswing is when my partner holds me tight and tells me he loves me, and at first i'll act as if i want to reject it. I'll yell louder and seem to get madder, but he holds me tight and starts to cry and says over and over, "i love you, I love you." And finally, I cry and say "I love you too"
Our rages, they're not fueled by anger; we have no reason for them usually. I think we simply want to express something. Its why we're not quiet about them, why we dont just leave silently like a normal anger-response might be. we have to be heard and felt. Its so hard, but I've seen that intense anger swayed into love when forced.
**I also carry a list of 10 things that I love about my boyfriend. When I get in my rages and we go into seperate rooms, I look at it. Our rages dont make us stop loving, we just feel we have to act violent/angry for some reason.
From all of us, to all the posts I've read, the people who feel victims of circumstance by being with a diabetic... we're sorry. Even if some wont say it. Its hard... you have no idea, truly.
I don't know why it took me this long to find out that my partner's bad behaviour could actually be diabetes related. I had read quite a few websites on verbally abusive partners, but something about their advice didn't quite seem "right" for our situation.
When my boyfriend is normal he is the most gentle and sweet man, he will do anything for me. But when he goes into one (and the most stupid little things will set him off), he's like a monster. Other posters have mentioned Jekyll and Hyde. That's exactly what it is like living with him.
I tried to solve things from my side of things: I enrolled in an assertiveness class and read tons of books and websites. When we went for spiritual development counselling a couple of years ago, he worked out that I had poured my heart out to the counsellor about his angry outbursts and paranoid, controlling behaviour, and when she took the line that he wasn't even going to step inside her front door, let alone get any more sessions, until he stopped behaving angrily towards me, her and anyone else, he accused the pair of us of undermining our relationship and didn't want me to see her or speak to her again. That's now become pretty old - anyone who it looks like might actually see my side of things or take a tough stand when it comes to his behaviour is now "a c***" and off limits.
My boyfriend was diagnosed Type 2 just over a year ago, and despite many visits to the doctor his medication has never quite been right for him, as he still has days when he can't even get out of bed. Metformin seemed to work the best out of a bad lot that the doctor has tried him on.
The year or so just before he was diagnosed was hell, and not helped one bit by the fact that he was also waiting to have a kidney stone removed and was in great pain. Other posters above have described the angry explosions triggered by next to nothing, the stopping just short of violent behaviour, the paranoia, the blaming me and others for everything that goes wrong, and I recognised in this our own relationship.
Yet nothing was his fault; it was me (or his band mates, or whoever), that had made him angry, and it was impossible to reason logically with him. I'm starting to realise that if he was hyper- or hypoglycemic, he probably wasn't able to process rational conversation. I needed, and still need, a more effective action I can take.
The first few days after he went on medication it was like I got the old boyfriend back that I'd first fallen in love with. Then one day he exploded again, and for the next few days he didn't feel well. So it was back to the doctor's to try something else. I think he has tried 3 or 4 different types of medication.
Before I read here, I had mentioned on other forums about his behaviour and all people could do was take the really unhelpful line of telling me to leave him. I feel that that's a typical response of our consumer, throw away society - if something doesn't instantly work, chuck it out. Well, hello! This isn't a broken toaster we're talking about, this is my partner, a human being.
When his medication works, or he's going through a good patch, he is a kind, sweet loving man, and I feel that this is the real boyfriend.
The doctor has said that there is a good chance that his diabetes might go right down if he loses 5 stone. I don't know how to get him to lose that much weight. I work, he doesn't and I'm physically not there during the day to police what he eats. He has food issues from his childhood, is a former bulimic and literally eats for England. He can go without all day and then pig out in the evenings. I haven't been able to get it through his head about small regular meals and snacks, even though he acknowledges this will surely help, because once he starts eating he has no restraint. He also loves cooking and sees it as his duty to have a proper cooked meal on the table for me when I get in from work.
Until I can get him to lose weight, how can I get through to him when he's behaving badly? Thanks to whoever wrote about repeating "I love you". Perhaps the diabetics on this site can offer further suggestions about what will actually communicate and impinge when they're "in one"?
hay my name is quan
i have diabetes and im 17 years old. i always notice that if it is high i have an attitiude towards my mother and she has diabetes too so we always clashin. it came to the point where i tried to commit sucide and i was sent to a physc ward and was there for a week. i came home and ran away. now i go through counciled and every thing else
My best friend is a type 1 diabetic. for about 18 years now.
She is really nice most of the time. But sometimes she gets mad and wont speak to me even when we are playing cards as partners. I know I haven't done anything to her.
I was wondering if this relates to her blood sugars. One minute she loves me as her best friend, and the next it seems she hates me. What can i do?
Thank you fo this discussion board. I thought I was losing my mind. About six months ago, I met a wonderful man. He seemed kind, affectionate, funny, and happy. I have now seen another side of him. He is verbally abusive to the point of bringing me to tears. I am a confident and successful woman and lately have begun to question everything I do or say in this relationship. My now ex-boyfriend has diabetes. He has frequent episodes of anger that usually follow an act of kindness on my part. He has once screamed so loud in my eardrum while I was driving that I had to pull over and step out of my own car until he calmed down. All because of his blood sugar levels. He has foamed at the mouth while yelling at me. He has two different personalities and I am afraid of the angry one. He blames me for everything, never apologizes, and claims he doesnt remember the hateful and cruel comments he makes to me. I have had to remove myself from the situation when it escalates on many an occasion, and he then accuses me of having poor conflict resolution skills. Today, on Valentine's Day, he has broken my heart for the last time. I would have done anything for this man, and had accepted that his illness was causing the drastic mood swings. However, I do not need abuse in my life. Nobody does, and there is no excuse. It helps to see that I am not alone in this sad experience. I wish he could have gotten medical help and tried to control the problem. I wonder if it even can be better controlled. I feel (emotionally-speakin) as though I have been hit by a bus. I am exhausted and hurt, and have given everything I had to this man and his two children. It was never appreciated, as he refers to me as the problem. He told me I make him so angry that I bring out that side of him. Once it was because I cleaned his kitchen and folded his laundry. Another time it was because I asked what size shoes his kids wore to by them a gift. Another time it was over a $5.00 cheesburger that he thought was too expensive, because he had asked me to pull over and find him food because his blood sugar was dropping rapidly. I think the term for this is caled crazymaking, where you simply can't win. I will miss his good side - and I hope someday I can not feel heartbreak over a situation that I couldn't change no matter what.
I can just so relate to everything you say. However, I feel that in the case of my own relationship, I have invested a heck of a lot of time, financial support and commitment and he has actually gotten somewhat better since he has been on meds, and I feel like I don't want to just walk away now. There are good things about him that I would be extremely lucky to find in anyone else.
There have been fewer explosions of late, however, the thing that is seriously worrying is the paranoia. I was surprised to read that this can be part and parcel of being diabetic, however I recognise this in my partner to a T. He is convinced that an organisation that we were both once involved in have been following and monitoring us ever since. We have to talk in "code", write notes to each other, or whisper in each others' ears regarding anything important, in case this organisation get to the bank first (or whatever it is that needs to be done) and make sure the transaction goes wrong just to hassle us.
I don't do hints or non-verbal cues that well, and prefer clear communication, so when I don't grasp what he is trying to say or ask, or if I come out and say out loud whatever it is, he gets really furious.
He sat up last night watching some documentary, as a result of which he was sure that the whole reason his career hadn't taken off was because someone in the business (in liaison with that organisation, of course) had networked and made sure that it hadn't.
I'm sorry he's been so terribly hurt by others in his life, but clearly his condition escalates the hurt, and he tars people all with the same brush. So I can't just make a simple mistake, it's a deliberate attempt to mess with him when things go wrong. I feel he has no right to make his illness or his past hurts my problem like this, but if I were to try and get him some appropriate help (e.g. talk to his doctor), that would be in his opinion a gross betrayal. Everyone around him has to AGREE with him, or else they're either stupid or destructive.
Why isn't there more research going on into this side of the disease?
I have to add to this.
I am in my late 40's and have destroyed my life and did not know why until recent.
The moods are incredible and with no reason at all. But there's also the tendency for the moods because at this age your so used to it.....it's now a habit.
You have to admit you need help and are to blame.....like alcoholism.
You do feel ashamed so having someone tell you.....well your made to feel ashamed and now embarrassed and argue that.....it's really embarrassing.
I found out that certain things do this. I can not tolerate sugar. So I read packages and saty away from drinks, juices etc with sugar and lots of water.
Let people know you have a problem and ask for feedback. But it does get tiring apologizing later on after you'd yelled at someone. So this is where I am at and have to get more help and push further.
I've quit my job and taking up something where I'm active and walk every day for an hour. Exercise is key....and get your wife or girlfriend to go with you. It's a time to be sweet because your at your best when exercising.
Keep in mind....you need understanding people around you. Women don't give up easily but be sweet and let her know your hurting. Not all guys with diabetes are monsters....we do care.
Before I'd hurt another person and not acknowledge it I'd rather be locked up.
But it's lonely at this point in life for all the people you've pushed away.
Eat healthy, exercise daily.....have your wife go with you. NO EXCUSES
Hi Heartbroken. i jsut joined and posted a message on the baord today. I know it has been quite a while, but i wanted to see how you have moved on from your ex. i am going through the same thing right now and feel this may be the 'last time' we break it off. He sweet, but is moody and very cruel when questioned or made aware of things he doesnt want to deal with.
Best to you--Mackyson... my post in under the same topic and should be at the bottom if you want more info
Oh golly gosh.. ! ** sigh ** i so want to scream at the top of my lungs that now i know im not crazy after reading all this. But sad thing is, it's happening to so many of us.
I have been with my husband for 21 years, married for 18 with three gorgeous teenage girls.
He was diagonised about 8 years ago with diabetes, insulin dependant, and had started to become physically abusive just before we found out, luckily he only pushed me, and next day realised ( finally ) something was wrong. The previous 2 years, he had started to become paranoid, negative, jealous, and so very moody.
We finally found out what it was, and was warned about the moods and all other problems that go with being a diabetic. So for about 4 years, he was in denial, started snaping at me all the usual stuff that has happened to everyone below. We've had the crazy hypos, ambulance visits, hospital stays. All that stuff. He has never apoligised for any kind of behaviour, and at first wouldnt' believe he acted like that until we videoed him doing it, and he just laughed.
But until the past 3 years, it has changed in a new direction, everything is my fault, i get silent treatment, he's not angry when he gives silent treatment, just doesnt' talk, which in turn has made our marriage hard, im an effectionate person, and for the past 3 years have not been getting it in return, which has been driving me crazy. He can sit for hours staring at the TV watching a documentary and not speak, and he thinks this is all normal, so i tend to spend a lot of time on the computer working, so now it's all turned around to me spending too much time ' playing' on the computer. Everything is all my fault !!
He has even started to become obbsessed with the house work, to the point he won't let me do the shopping, he has to do it.. if me or one of the kids packs the dishwasher, he has to come and re do it in his way, as our way was wrong, actually, it's not just the dishwasher that he does that with, it's everything, cans in pantry need to be faceup etc.. fridge packed right. It's become so annoying, and he has pushed me away so much, i have felt like i am going totally crazy. I have threatened to leave twice, both times he just doesnt' care, so this time, he said if thats what i want, then go, as says he's had enough of me also ??.. im not sure what he's had enough of me, i haven't done anything, except want to know and work out why he has such major mood swings, and does nothing except work and housework..!( he has no friends, thinks there are no real friends in the world )
I just recently moved my business out of a shop, and you guessed it, i had to do it myself, as he had other things to do , and the world does not revolve around me. The things he had to do were shopping, mow the lawn, house work etc.
I dont' know what to do, before reading this, i was out of here, i felt i had to go to get myself some help, believing it is all me. Now i want him to see this thread ( although i know he won't think any of this applys to him ) and i want to help him, he's the man i married and want to be with for the rest of my life, i want to be there at our daughters' weddings with him, and race to the hospital together with him to see our grandchildren when they are born, but im not sure i will be mentally sane when that time comes. It's taken up my whole being, ive lost my identity, im spent, im drained, and im totally exhausted !!
oh ps.. and he still smokes..!! doens't excersise or really tell anyone anything to do with his levels, but they are always way over high in his blood tests.
well i have a friend that has diabetes and get mood swings she get stress out what can she do to lower her diabetes i have diabetes too but i don,t have mood swings i keep mine lower by exerciseing
Hi I am glad I found this website. I have to say I am quite lost these days. I have met the most wonderful man ever a year ago, and we deeply fell in love. We started dating a few months ago. However one month ago, I found out about his condition. He has been diabetic type I for 6 years by now. It was quite a shock as I never suspected anything before he had an hypoglycemia crisis in front of me. We were talking one day, and suddenly in one second he became another person. His look was totally different. I could see it right away. It seems terrible to say so, but I was so scared of him. What he was saying was not coherent at all. So he had to tell me the truth about his condition. I did not have any clue about the manifestations of such a disease. I know it is not his fault but I am quite perplex these days as far as our future is concerned. A couple of weeks ago, he had convulsions when he woke up. I think I reacted in the best way I could, taking into account that this situation is quite new for me. I first calmed down, opened his mouth and put some dextrose in his mouth, and then measured him. A few minutes later, he was fine but he could not remember anything. I was totally under stress and eventually I cried. I am quite sensitive and anxious person. I took care of some members of my family who had cancers, so I know what it is like to take care of people who are sick. But in the current case, I am not sure I am strong enough to deal with that as I fear I will constantly worry for him. Yesterday, he had another hypo crisis, and I could see it right away in his look. I was so scared again. Things are getting serious between us now. I think he is going to propose quite soon. I love him so much but I have to confess at this point, I am very concerned and I am not sure I can commit to this for the rest of my life. I know it sounds horrible. I don't recognise myself anymore thinking like that, but I am not sure I can face that on a daily basis. On the other hand, this is terrible. Does someone deserve to be abandoned because he is sick? This is awful to think this way, isn't it? Perhaps it just reveals I am not strong enough or I am selfish. I tried to talk to him about that, that I need time to adjust and to think things over and he said to me I did not love him. It is not true, I do love him but I assume I need time to adjust to his condition. Let's be honest I am very scared. Fear gives bad advice, I know. I am however not the kind of person to give up easily, especially having so much love for me. I am reading books, studies, looking for as much as information I can in order to understand his disease and how to help him as much as I can. But I am worrying for the future. Is his condition going to worsen? Could he get violent? What about kids? I know he would be a wonderful dad, but what will happen if he has regular hypo crises? And what would be our life if our children have the same problem? I know that what I am writing now is nothing new for all of you, but I think I need to share this with people who can understand me and share their experience with me. Many thanks in advance! Take care
there are so many posts on this page that echo my feelings, i am in awe. I also have a relationship with a T1, 40 years old. been together for over 3 years now and I knew he was a kind of angry guy before we started dating. He had an abusive childhood and I think that plays a part. For the first year things went well. He was so sweet and loving, we only had like one argument and no major crises. Then he started to have severe lows a lot. I am a natural worrier, so this did not help. I work all morning and he sleeps until eleven or sometimes later. It's all I can do not to call and wake him up every day. Once he had 3 seizures in a week! I have tried to express to him how worried I get, but he just keeps telling me I need to get over it and find a way to deal. How can I stop worrying that the person I love may be dying and I can't help them if I don't know!?
Anyhow - this has caused major stress on our relationship. On top of his normal anger, he gets furious if I wake him up. He also suffers from a sleep disorder, so if he gets woken up it's almost impossible for him to fall back asleep. Some days my anxiety gets so bad I just have to call and see if he is ok. Or wake him up before I leave to make sure he's not low. He gets so mad sometimes, he screams at me and throws things. He calls me a polish retard, a dumb-a**, other words I cannot type here. One night he was waving a gun around in front of my face, and he threw a knife (not at me) but at the floor near where I was standing. He says I must hate him and that I'm trying to kill him by waking him up all the time. But he doesn't check his levels as often as he should and he suffers from hypoglycemic unawareness so if it goes low, many times he doesn't even notice. I don't think he would ever hurt me, but death threats are not fun. Being called names and getting screamed at is not fun. I don't know what to do, I love him and I know he doesn't mean those things. I've told him how much they hurt. But he doesn't stop. It just keeps getting worse. He threatens to leave all the time.
This sucks. I want the man I fell in love with to come back. I cannot control my fear that he may die in his sleep. What do I do?????
thanks for listening,
I just read your message which describes my exact situation, but I got married to my TIID's husband a few months ago. We live in seperate states for the time being and when I viist I see exactly how his mood fluctuates once nice and then gets mean towards me for no apparent reason.
I hope things are looking up for the two of you. It would be great to hear from you.
I felt like you did. Right after we got engaged my husband found out he was diabetic. He cried when he told me and said he would understand if I didn't want to marry him. I felt so bad for him and married him. My advice to you is RUN and don't look back. Don't do it. You have to be really strong to deal with this. I'm on this site now due to a horrible episode last night. He went totally psycho.
i have been seeing a man (age 56) for 9 years who has recently (past 6-8 months) been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.
he was a very passionate lover for the first few years but the last year he started being unable to maintain an erection and then lost all interest in sex, now claims we haven't been lovers in a long time (not my fault), says he doesn't know when, where or why his feelings about me changed but he doesn't love me anymore.
He is angry, guilty, hostile and demeaning much of the time. I know all that does go with the diabetes but what about the 'I don't love you anymore stuff"?
Could this all be related to his diabetes or does he just not love me anymore? Found out he is wnating to see other people now. Actually is I'm sure. We own a place together with lots of responsibilities but we don't live together. Don't know whether to try and ride it out or throw him out?
Thanks for having shared your stories with me.
After months of hesitation, I left him a couple of weeks ago. I did run away, but I am feeling awful. I assume it is normal to feel that way, but really this is the hardest thing I had to do in my life. Abandoning the person you love the most, because you want to protect yourself. Is there something more selfish and pathetic than that? I have destroyed the holiest thing, love. I will have to live with this burden all my life. I left him, while he would have need his love to be there for him, to take care of him. Instead I left like a coward. The sad thing is that I would have never been strong enough to face what may I have happened in the future.
So here we are...
Sorry to be so down and cynical, but right now I am devastated and lost.
Thank you again for your support
Good luck to all of you
I just recently separatd from my fiance... I sill love her and always will, but i couldn't take the abuse anymore...she would get upset and yell and curse at me all the time. some of the things she said were horrible. she wouldn't take care of her disease, and i know what happens when you don't.. i feel guilty for leaving..i don't know hwy i do though..the day i told her i was leaving she attcked me and gave me a black eye... i just took it and walked away..i dont understand why i feel guilty for leaving her..
First, Thank God I'm not the only one dealing with this.
I believe diabetics need to be on disability by the time they reach 60 years of age. They are not going to live as long as the normal person so they won't have a retirement. They haven't had a decent life anyway so they need a break. Plus it seems it gets harder to manage the diabetes as they get older. My husband of 18 yrs is great when on vacation, able to exercise and eat right. Living in the NE is hell for a diabetic.
My husband was diagnosed with type 2 soon after our son was born. He is the most calm and gentle natured man and all my family adore him. A few years ago we were at a wedding and he drank quite a bit, which he rarely drinks at all. Later in the evening there was something that snapped inside of him. When I looked in his eyes he was gone. We had known each other since high school and had been together for 10 years. I know him better than anyone and I know I had lost him that evening. He was saying things to me that he would never say to me on a normal day. Saying I was a horrible mother and a worthless wife. He was yelling at my family and saying awful things to them as well. I was so angry that I walked away and got a separate room for the evening. When I came back in the morning he was awake and looked so confused. He was crying asking what had happened. I never thought about his diabetes until after the fact. I felt so awful that I left him behind and who knows how crazy his sugar levels could have been because of the alcohol. Nothing like that has happened since that night. My husband may have a beer on a hot summer day but never more than 1. I have noticed latley though he does get aggrevated more often for no reason. I will ask him what is wrong and he will say he doesn't know...he just gets in a funk and needs a minute to himself to calm down. I have read the past posts and I am hopeful that reading these now will help me and my husband make sure that his mood swings do not get out of control in the future.
It is very hard living with the mood swings. My husband is on and off. He says hurtful things also and mean things and has for years. I keep praying for our marriage to survive this. He has hurt our children with his mean comments. i love him alot but sometimes I know what to do, I don't want to have to choose between him and my children. When his sugar levels are steady he is fine but when they are off he is awful. He doesn't eat right and his doctor took him off his medication. So I just take it day by day, but it is very sad. Im glad your husband can keep his moods under control. Good luck. I wish my husband would believe what he is doing is due to his diabetes. I am having him go to another doctor for a second opinion.
My mother has had diabetes her whole life, and has chosen to stop taking her medicine 20 years ago, and will not go to the Doctors. She has edema (fluid retention) from her toes to her stomach, not to mention she cannot walk or see properly. As if her health problems aren't enough, her mood swings are horrible. She gets so miserable and irritable; she won't eat or drink for days, and lately a week at a time. She makes accusations, says the most hurtful things, and is purely vindictive. She acts as she is psychotic.
My father passed away early this year from lung cancer, of whom my mother hated. He took care of her since they were married, and tolerated her moods. He waited on her hand and foot. His belief was "old school" and felt when you marry a woman, you put up with the good and bad. However, when he was dying (I moved in to care for him), my mother continue to emotionally abuse him. She wanted to be rid of him and place him in a nursing home. I would not allow that. He did try and take care of himself, and was misdiagnosed by his Doctors. Anyhow, she wouldn't visit him when he was in the hospital, and believed I was lying to her about his illness. Because of my mother’s disability, my daughter and I permanently moved into my father’s home. My mother has gotten to the stage where I cannot deal with her moods. I am not sure what I can do about her, except for trying to get her into a nursing home. She is completely incapacitated, from the diabetes. My mother fights over anything and everything, including to abusing my teenage daughter. In addition, she calls her sister and cousin up and tells them, we treat her rotten. She has her sister convinced my father abused her, which he did not. My father was a good hearted person and would help anyone, but never hurt anyone. His whole life was ruined by my mother, and he was so unhappy the last 20 years or so.
Any suggestions. My mother has stated to me on numerous occasions, "If I put her in a nursing home or call human services she will tell them we are abusing her."
My mother’s friends, since childhood have told me "to put her in a nursing home", but I am wondering if there are other options. She has lost all of her friends and most of her family members due to her moods and vindictiveness.
I am in a bad position here, and not sure what to do.
My son was diagnoced with type 1 diabetes in Feb. '11. OMG when he is in his highs (which is often) he is hell to live with. He is 18 1/2. If he was my husband I probably would leave him (I feel sorry for his future wife if he ever gets that far in life). But he is not, he is my son and he is too young and unable to make it on his own. He has a small part time job and is taking 9 units (not much homework) at college but can not support himself not even with roommates. When he has his highs if I mention anything about him checking his levels or anything about any form of responcibilites he bites my head off. I can't stand being around him anymore it is like walking on glass all the time. He rarely has lows but when he does he is good about doing something about those. But he still doesn't get that low. He runs mainly high and still has a hard time adjusting to what "normal" is. His doctor would like him to get onto the pump but she needs at least 4 days worth of logging so they can analize how he is doing to make the dosage levels. Well, he won't log ANYTHING. I hate this !!!!
This is an interesting site and I'm glad I came across it. A few months ago I met a really nice man and to be honest I would say he could be the man of my dreams. We are dating and learning about each other and its going wonderful so far. We have had no arguments and seem to get along well with each other. He told me he's diabetic about a month after we met. He says in the past he did not control his diabetes and ate whatever he wanted to eat because other people were enjoying delicious food so he felt like he needed to enjoy those foods too.
I asked him if he had mood swings and got depressed and he said he did in the past but he was never violent or abusive to anyone before or to other women he dated. I accepted his truth and we dropped the conversation.
After finding this site though I'm concerned if I should leave this relationship. We have been dating for less than 6 months and even though I have feelings for him I feel I don't need to enter into a situation blindly and it might be better to just leave now. What keeps me sticking around is that what if this was me? I would not want anyone to leave me because of this illness and the mood swings. Or better yet, what happens if you marry someone, anyone, and they develop diabetes in the marriage, do you leave them because of that?
After reading the comments on this site, I'm really thinking about making up some excuse to him and ending things. He has not been mean or abusive to me at all and I haven't experienced any mood swings. Then again since we are not always together, perhaps when he has his mood swings he knows they are coming on and he can control whether or not he wants to talk to me or see me.
hi everyone. i need some advice. i have dating a man for voer a year who is type I diabetic. he waited until we had been together for almost a year to finally tell me because he was afraid i would get mad, or leave. he is also a widower with 3 younger kids. i am a sinlge om going thru a divorce with 2 young kids of my own. we grew up in the same old neighborhood and went to school together too. during the coarse of our relationship we have broken up a few times and gotten in veryh volatile arguments and he will disappear for days..not call me or come over. the only way these fighs get fixed is if i make an effort. i try to be the bes g-friend i can. we are both 40. i am very giving and he can be too. but his reaction to my comments-which i keep within the realm of facts of what we are arguin about, get nasty mean and abusive. telling me to 'f-off' or 'go f myself' over benign comments i make i find abusive and disgusting. this has happened more times then i can remember. he does not take care of himself. he does take his insulin 2x a day like he is supposed to, but he is overweight, eats poorly, doesnt monitor his blood sugar at all. he is stressed becasue of $$ and his kids all the time. i like to think i am a shining light in life. but he treats me like crap when we argue. he can be very sweet, caring and nice, but gets moody and rude when challeneged or when im not happy with his actions.
any advice would surley help-k
this all sounds so familiar...i married someone with similar characteristics, but i also believe he may have a personality disorder like narcicissim...i am getting a divorce after being married for one year. I'm getting OUT!!!!!! he has cheated on me with multiple women and he has no idea that i know, but he will find out during the divorce process. i will pray that you see the situation for what it is and that GOD will reveal it to you... we are not to be mistreated, abused etc...we are the APPLE of GODS eye!!! Be Blessed my Sister!
Thanks GSSS. I appreciate it. My guy isnt a cheat, but he is awful when made angry by things he thinks arent important.
My father is about to turn 70 and has been a type 1 diabetic since he was 16. He's a walking miracle. However, his mood swings have increased to almost daily. He takes great care of himself (or rather my mom does!). He's on a pump, however, he does have eratic sugar levels because of the meds he's on for restless leg, neuropathy, etc. He's extremely verbally and emotionally abusive to my mother. I fear for her life in that she will probably have a heart attack or stroke because of him. BUT he's sneaky. He puts on a great show for friends, family and has tried to in front of me, but he got caught a couple weeks ago when my mom finally let me help in the midst of one of his "fits". My mom is fearful to talk to doctors for the backlash she will receive.
Does anyone know of research on this topic? I think I could possibly get through to him if there was a "medical" reason.
my boyfriend of 5 months wont deal with the fact he has diabetes type 1. he has had it since he was 13 and is now 19. i can understand that he is frustrated he cant eat what he wants all the time and he hates having to do his injections, but wont look after his diet properly then get frustrated when his bloods are really high. im worried for him as the other night he got really drunk and got verbally abusive to me, he went to sleep with out taking his insulin or checking his bloods, before going to sleep luckily i checked for them in the bedroom. i had to set up all his needles for him because he wasnt capable and couldnt wake up properly. then not 3 hours later he almost died because he'd gone so low thank god i had woken up when he did. i had to struggle to work his blood tester coz he has never shown me how to do it, or told me anything about how to tell if he is high or low without his machine, nor how much his regular dose is.
im so worried as he just brushes everything off and tries to pretend he can eat what ever he wants and not face the repercussions, as he says its embarresing to talk about.
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