I have been a very bad diabetes patient. My doctor (henceforth to be known as Dr. Z) says I am in denial. I would say weak-willed. Though upon further thinking on the matter, "weak-willed" sounds like a much more serious character flaw. Unfortunately, this character flaw has turned into a serious medical issue that I cannot ignore or simply hope will somehow, through no effort of my own, go away.
My out-of-control blood sugar is making me feel out-of-control in general and I'm starting to get panicky. The "Oh my gosh, I do NOT want to jump out of this plane" kind of panicky.
How am I going to gain control? Dr. Z assures me it can be done but first, I need lose weight.
How am going to do that? I don't know yet.
How did I get to where I am today? My guess is years of working in newsrooms where on the overnight shift I was deprived of sleep but not Cheetos and Dr. Pepper. This was followed by more years of sitting behind a desk and which the most exercise I'd get was contorting my brain to come up with words to describe why the company's current DVD release was so amazingly awesome.
Today I’m 38 years old, have been living with Type 2 Diabetes for 4 years and am nudging 200 lbs - and today I've got to get serious.
No more stringent dieting to only give up and have Whataburger for lunch (and not just the once). No more spurts of activity and then giving up when I see no change on the scale. No more maniacal testing and then giving up because the tips of all my fingers hurt and I can't bear to stick myself again. No more panicking because I did not take my medication the night before because I forgot after dinner and then was too lazy to get up when I remembered and oh-my-G-D is that a tingling sensation in my arm?
I cannot go through this cycle every few months.
And so, here I am. I am going to do this (eating more healthfully, exercising, losing weight, taking my medications). However, I am also scared as a write that sentence because I'm not altogether sure that I can. Yet I am making myself accountable. To you. For those of you doing it, I need your help. For those of you who have yet begun, let's do it together.
Published On: January 13, 2010