My 31st birthday was yesterday. That means I can actually say I am in my thirties. Ok, so I know when I turned 30 that already happened, but it just seems different. As most of you know by now, my 30th birthday was the best night of my life. A night when I saw family members engage in conversation...the same people who haven't been in the same room together in seventeen years. It was also the night that I got engaged. Now, almost one year later, I'm trying not to be negative in knowing full well that this birthday won't be as memorable. I have always been big into birthdays-mine and others'-I think it's great that we have one day just to celebrate our mere existence. So I have decided to make this a good one anyway. After all, this will be the year of my marriage, and a new chapter in my life.
This seems like a great time to renew my resolution vows. Looking back over my shareposts from the past few months, it's clear that I have been torn about what a healthier lifestyle means to me. There have been times when I've been ready to give up all the foods I love in the name of losing weight. Other times, I've told myself to relax and enjoy life, and let the weight come off when it's ready. I know that I need to live somewhere in between. More than the weight loss, I have promised myself (and my readers) that I will get more sleep, stress less, get more exercise, and do more of the things I enjoy. I have to say that so far, this journey has been just as difficult as I imagined it would be. It is human nature to struggle with any change, and I am certainly no exception. But writing these shareposts has forced me to truly think about my health in many different ways. Ultimately, I am proud of myself for trying so hard, and even for giving in when it meant my sanity. Between living with a sick parent, working three jobs, and planning a wedding, I suppose I've done pretty well.
As a birthday gift to myself, I plan to have a great weekend and do what makes me happy, no regrets. I'll go to the farmer's market on Saturday and finally get that black bottom banana cream pie I've had my eye on since last year. I'll take my dog to the park. I'll spend some long overdue time with friends I haven't seen in a while. Maybe I'll even take a nap! And birthday Sunday will be even better. Billy and I are planning to have brunch at the Hazel River Inn in Culpeper. Then he's taking me to the movies, and I get to choose the movie, even if it is a chick flick. That night, we have reservations with a big group of friends to hear a live blues jam and eat amazing Tai food at one of our new favorite restaurants. It's going to be perfect.
Besides my marvelous, indulgent weekend, I do plan on giving myself a different kind of gift...one of renewed faith and determination. What better time than a birthday to re-examine my goals and give myself a pat on the back. Yes, I have made mistakes, but I have also learned a lot about myself. I've laughed and cried. I've screamed at the scale. And I've enjoyed telling the world about it. This time last year, I was exactly the same weight that I am today. But over the months, I gained ten pounds, and now I have succeeded in taking those pounds back off. So although I am back to square one, at least I have accomplished something and learned in the process. I know now exactly what certain foods do to my body. I know that working out is not an option. I know that I can cheat now and then and my body will thank me. I know that love is inspiring me to do better. Knowing all of this, it's time to really get down to business. Starting May 3rd, I intend to see that renewed faith go to work in my daily life. I know it's not impossible for me to lose weight and to live a healthy lifestyle. It's going to be messy, but I really need to do this for myself. Who know where I could be a year from now.
Published On: May 03, 2010