It's been a couple weeks since I started taking my coconut oil. One tablespoon, twice a day. I'm convinced now more than ever that this stuff is sent from heaven itself. Not only has my energy increased big-time, but my skin is starting to glow and my morning tummy aches (apparently the result of my daily cup of Joe) have completely disappeared. The energy has helped me feel more motivated at the gym so my workouts have been better. I also feel fuller during the day so I'm not eating as much. Disappointingly, I have not seen any drop in my weight, but I think I know why. Even though my workouts have been better, I have not been able to go to the gym as often. And although I am eating less during the day, I'm still getting those after-work cravings that have become the bane of my existence. And I'm thinking that stress is the culprit.
My first official fitting for my dress is coming up soon. Although I have lost the ten pounds that I gained since buying the dress last May, it is still one size too small. A few people have said that my body looks completely different than it did last year, which I suppose is due to the muscle I've gained. Each time I've tried the dress on, it fits just a tiny bit better, but I'm still not happy about being so far from my goal. The fact that my fitting is right around the corner is really freaking me out. Besides that, I've been super stressed about money. Our parents have helped out tremendously with wedding expenses, but we are still at least a few thousand dollars away from taking care everything and being able to leave for North Carolina with a small cushion for bills. Because our parents can't help out financially any more, the rest is up to us.
I decided to go back to work at the restaurant that I left only a few months ago. The manager said they could use me as a fill-in. I also started picking up Saturday night shifts at the Irish pub where I already work on Friday nights. And of course I'm still working full time managing the deli weekday mornings and afternoons. Add to that trying to be my mother's caretaker and looking after a house with five acres and several pets, and what you get is a stress whopper with a greasy side of tension. And if you've been keeping up with my shareposts, then you know I believe that stress causes people to hold onto excess weight.
Billy sweetly offered to get a weekend job to take some of the pressure off of me, but that only adds more stress to the pile. I feel terribly guilty asking him to take on a weekend job when he already works full time and trains at the gym full time. The MMA training is like a second job. But I know I need the help so if he can find something, I guess I'll have to let him do it. Hmm...I wonder if this is why my dad suggested that we "just elope".
Thinking back to my engagement last May and how excited I was to plan my dream beach wedding, I know that I cannot live with regrets before the event even takes place. I know I could have done more than a few things to make life a little easier, both financially and emotionally. But what's done is done and I'm going to enjoy this wedding fully, no matter what. Hard work and sweat are two things that I have been used to since I got my first job (and since I began seriously working on my weight), so a few more months of both are not going to kill me. Taking the stress factor down a few notches, however, is something I'm still trying to learn how to do. I hope to be writing next week about a successful fitting, but I need to get through the next few days first.
Published On: July 15, 2010