Easter Sunday has come and gone. It was a gorgeous, sunny day, and hot enough to make me think about my summer wardrobe. Everything was packed away in our storage unit so I drove the two minutes over there and dragged the huge box into my car. Unpacking it back at home, I felt like a little kid on Christmas morning. But with each tank top, sun dress and flowy skirt came that nasty old feeling; "Ugh, I wonder how much of this stuff still fits me, and ugh, I wonder how I will look in this?" I recalled writing a sharepost about this very thing the same time last year, and so I really don't want to dwell. I feel the same about summer clothes (and bathing suits, arrrgh!), but this year I fully intend to enjoy the sun on my skin and not make myself crazy about every perceived flaw. Why the change? Maybe it's my thirty-second birthday looming around the corner. Getting older doesn't mean ceasing to care about my health; on the contrary I care more and more every day that I'm blessed with life. For me, getting older means becoming more introspective and less image-obsessed. It's frankly exhausting to worry all the time about cellulite and muffin tops. There are more important things in life.
Just because I'm having an "a-ha" moment doesn't mean that I'm giving up my quest to shed pounds. I just don't want to make myself nuts. But after the insane amount of food that I stuffed into my gut for Easter dinner, I'm feeling pretty driven to do better. I mean, I was so full that I felt sick. That's just ridiculous. I've been slowly reading the book Intuitive Eating and in it the authors, a pair of compassionate and knowledgeable female doctors, gently encourage their patients to stop eating when they feel satisfied. This is certainly not a new concept for me, but my problem is that some food is so good that even though I'm crossed-eyed stuffed, I'm not really mentally satisfied. I just want to eat it because it tastes so darn good. The doctors also encourage readers to savor food slowly in a peaceful environment. Hmm...obviously they have never met my family. That's like trying to knit a sweater in the stands of a playoffs hockey game. Anyway, it's good advice, but everyone's environment varies, and environment has plenty to do with sticking to a game plan. All I know is that feeling ill after a meal isn't a sign that you fully enjoyed it. That much I gather. Stupid holidays.
Ok, so I have from now to the 4th of July to learn some better discipline. One thing that might help to expedite the process is Billy's upcoming Muay Thai fight. He will be spending the rest of this month and most of May cutting weight. Our portions will automatically be smaller, at least for dinner. Breakfast and lunch will be up to me. But as I start to think more about my own future, it doesn't seem like such an overwhelming concept to put forth some extra effort. In the past week, I've brainstormed a little more on my holistic home cooking idea, and I'm still charged up to pursue that. I've been consistent with my workouts, and besides Easter, I'm really working on the diet. Yoga is making me feel wonderful so I've been going more often. And I recently joined a local meetup group (www.meetup.com) for young adults who enjoy hiking and other outdoor activities. I'm really stoked about participating in that. Birthday or no birthday, time marches on, and you just have to put on your hiking boots and blaze your own trail towards a health and happiness. Here I come, thirty-two!
Published On: April 29, 2011