Snowbiscuits and Skinny Jeans

T. G. Bennett Health Guide
  • Self sabotage. I had my meal plan all laid out for this snowtacular experience and as everyone knows even the best laid plans go awry.  So here's what happened: This morning I woke up and I discovered I can fit into my favorite skinny jeans.  

    When I fit into these jeans it means I'm well on my way to reaching my fitness goals and its only month two of my better eating/better life plan. Here was my goal: Have instant oatmeal in the morning for breakfast.  I read the package and noticed that that flimsy ole package is actually two servings instead of one. But I only consumed half a bowl so that's fine. Next, I made tuna pasta salad with a boiled egg for lunch. Actually I made so much I planned to have this dish for several meals. But I never did get to eat it.  

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     Here's why: Remember my housemate?You know the one who likes to bake entire cakes dozens of cookies and yummy multiple course grandma meals? Yeah that one. Well usually I have my own food, but today she had a dessert tray laid out (cookies, cakes and brownies) and two separate roasts in crock pots cooking, replete with cabbage, potatoes, carrots and onions. Woo sah!


    Now, normally I can stick to my new improved routine but considering the fact that we're snowbound like a repised episode of Northern Exposure, she invited me to share in the feast and I did indeed. Then she gave me the much coveted gift of potato chips. Anyone who knows me is aware that chips are my kryptonite.


       'Oh no! TG what about the jeans?' you're probably thinking, I know because that was my thought. But I'm stuck in the house folks. I'm a writer, so I generally file my assignments from home, however, there's something about being in the house because you're on deadline or because you simply want to... vs. being house-bound because you have to.  


    I know its not a very good excuse, boredom, its is never a good excuse to eat but there's no one to have a snowball fight with and I'm not feeling much like carving into these mounds of snow (which are as tall as I am) to form a snowguy.  


    Some good news, I've been doing my tai-bo routine, still the low impact version but I'm getting used to the moves.   One more thing before I forget. I was feeling particularly stressed out by life's little career surprises and I stopped typing and made a plate of biscuits with a recipe I found online. Warning Folks: every recipe on line is not a good one.

    Case in point: These were the most flavor-less biscuits I've ever tasted. They smelled great, looked beautiful and flaked like nobody's business. However the taste fell flat. Sometimes when things cool they taste better -- No dice.   My housemate ate one and proclaimed "These are Sound of Music biscuits." I launched into the tune "Just a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down... medicine go down.. yadda yadda."   "That's from Mary Poppins!" -- the housemate bellowed. "Ok doe a dear a female dear..." I rebutted. "Anyway what did you mean Sound of Music biscuits?" I asked not really wanting to hear the answer.   "Well, there's a scene in the Sound of Music where the Captain asks Maria if she has any other clothes to wear. She says "we gave them all to the poor." The Captain then asks 'what about these' (the clothes she has on) Maria (Julie Andrews) then says "The poor didn't want them." my housemate told me.    "Likewise nobody would want these biscuits." she laughed. Hence, they're Sound of Music biscuits. "Ok, I get it.." I'm slighly annoyed at this point.   Because of the recession more people are experiencing hard times -- and yes, they want good food. So I of course wouldn't dream of serving anything that wasn't up to par. Everyone deserves a good hearty meal.

  • Later that evening I still wasn't convinced that these beautiful biscuits had zero flavor so I tried one again. Still, there was nothing I could do to change it to make it right so with a 50 pound fuzzy dog staring up at me in my bare feet and pajamas in the kitchen at 11:30 pm at night, holding a biscuit that I'm not supposed to be eating (because of my healthy life plan,) I gave in and reluctantly handed the dog my beautiful biscuit.   Now the dog apparently appreciated it because she happily trotted off and greets me with a wagging tail every time I enter the room. As a reward for her more than enthusiastic greetings, I've given her every last one of my dozen beautiful biscuits.   My failed biscuit endeavor proves one thing, food is not a necessary panacea for stress. I promise from this point on to turn to Tai Bo the next time I begin to feel angst.   Finally, another really good thing happened -- I discovered I can make one heck of a really good dog biscuit. So,comfort food may not be necessary... but necessity is the mother of invention. Wonder if I could sell these so-called "Sound of Music" biscuits...    

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Published On: February 12, 2010