So I've made a decision. I now choose to see this situation, temporarily staying in the South in an effort to help my mother (whose forgetfulness is seemingly bordering on early Alzheimers) as a blessing instead of a curse. Perhaps instead of being cranky and depressed about being away from all of my favorite things, whole foods, national parks, restaurants and shopping haunts is a way to get re-connected with my family.
Who knows, I may never ever get the chance to get to really know my mother and grandmother. Though this situation is anything but ideal, I can now take advantage of the time to query my 91 year old grandmother about her background. How she met and married my grandfather and how my mother and her siblings came to be.
Did I mention this is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Not to mention trying to maintain my fitness goals and manage crying jags. Alas, I digress. Back to the fitness. I've discovered some things I can do to keep myself busy where fitness is concerned. Joining a gym here is out because I won't be here for long. But I have a Billy Blanks Tae Bo DVD and I am now going back to doing my crunches.
Crunches: got to love 'em. Ironically crunches are symbolic of just how I feel right now. I feel crunched between two generations and I also feel stuck in my former life. I will forever be the opinionated, chubby, 12 year old saxophone player in my grandmother's eyes.
My grandfather passed almost 2 years ago and now she's laser focused on my mother and I. Drat. What is nice though is that she's 91 and eats whatever she wants. This has got to be a medical miracle. The woman is 125 pounds and that is the largest she's ever been. How could this be? My mom, though not 125, is still pretty lean and doesn't have to work at it. So you might imagine how I feel when they (my mother with Dementia and my grandmother) hurl their opinion about weight and fitness at me." Why don't you just eat less and exercise more?" They ask.
Um, yes. Got it folks. "But have you both noticed that you regularly eat fried chicken and never ever do I see you go to the gym?" I could say that but I won't. Opinions from grandchildren aren't respected or welcomed in my family. So at the risk of not being able to guide my mother on her health transition, I keep mum.
There is one great thing that happened the other day. I took a look through my wedding album (yes I was married briefly and I do mean briefly) and I discovered I'm way smaller than I was 2 years ago. Not that I was huge but I was at least 15 pounds heavier than I am after assuming my current pledge to do better with my fitness and drop 40 lbs.
Published On: June 08, 2010