Ok so I've got a bit of a mini-confession. My family drives me bananas so I grabbed the bread pudding to compensate. I know I should be exercising but sometimes its just better and quicker for the moment to grab the yummy, raisin laden, creamy, sweet intensley satisfying bread pudding dessert made by my grandmother.
I know its just down right irresponsible. I get it. I've gained a few pounds as well. Yikes. But here's a plus: because I've been doing the crunches the extra pounds have redistributed themselves and my tummy is still toned. Its my arms that need work. A lot of work.
Isn't there some operation that takes care of bat wings? Just kidding. But there is a plastic surgery procedure that sucks all of the fat from the arms. That's got to be pretty painful. I'm going to tackle this problem the old fasion way. With cans.
Don't laugh. I've learned in the past that free weights have the ability to make me look like The Hulk. Not a good look by any means. So during my down time I grab a couple of cans of peas or beans whatever happens to be in the pantry and I lift away. I'll let you know how it goes.
Meanwhile, you're probably wondering what's going on in my life that caused the bread pudding debacle. Two word: forgetfulness and denial. My mother's inability to remember and the other family members denial that this is really as big a deal as I think it is. It's catastrophic.
My biggest fear is that I will return to the Washington area and then one day visit my mom in the South again and she won't remember me. I know we're in the early stages of this forgetfulness but this is a real fear for me.
And if I haven't mentioned this before --this entire situation caught me off guard. I'm used to being responsible for myself. I'm not a mother yet and save for a brief marriage, for years my chief concern was me. Blame it on my generation -- Generation X.
No one ever told me not to drain my 401k plan and go to Europe. I bought fully into the philosophy of doing work that made me happy and then the returns would come. And the benefits of writing are so numerous that I have not room to list them here.
However, I had not planned on my mom's illness and since she and I didn't really discuss finances ever -- I didn't know that I was supposed to have this super-emergency plan in place (side-note I'm an only child and my father is deceased.)
So right now, I'm trying to figure out clumsily I might add (and with resistance from other family members ) the best course of action to take care of my mom.
There's good news in all of this mire: We're getting really close. Though I have to repeat my stores much of the time -- my mother and I spend much of our time together laughing. Its ironic -- this is perhaps what could be the saddest time of our lives however we're laughing together.
So pardon me if I choose to have a little bread pudding with my green tea, this weight loss thing is neither all or nothing for me -- its a journey and a trip that I'm glad for now that my mother is able to share with me.
Published On: August 09, 2010