Should I Keep My Daughter Away From Smokers?

Posting Date: 08/27/1999

Tom: My daughter frequently spends weekends with a friend whose parents are smokers. I'm concerned about secondhand smoke, especially after seeing a television report last week linking secondhand smoke to strokes.

Do I have anything to worry about?

Dr. Dean: The best answer I can give is that I'd let my kid continue to hang out with her friend.

Yes, smoke is a toxic substance, but those studies are talking about the exposure that comes from living or working with smokers for long periods of time.

text continues below

On some days your kid is exposed to air pollution that is equivalent to smoking an entire pack of cigarettes.

So, while I agree with your concern - and parents should always be aware of the health habits of the people our children spend time with - the risk to your daughter ranks low on the list of dangers our kids face these days.

For their own sake, and the sake of their child, I would hope the parents don't smoke a lot, anyway. But, of course, this is a sensitive issue that I think you should leave alone. Your concern expresses good will, and yet, no matter how well-intentioned we are, people never want someone else sticking their two cents in.

And I have to say, I kind of agree with leaving other people alone with their bad habits. I know I don't like the health nags driving me crazy. Since I don't think your child is being harmed, I'd say it's one of those things in life that's not worth getting all twisted up about.

When I am out promoting my book ("Eat, Drink, and Be Merry"), people respond universally to the theme that the health nags are driving us crazy.

The nags, and their media messengers, have been so successful because negative news sells. That's why we're all walking around, anxiety-ridden, about our health and the environment.

Surely, there are some things to be concerned about. I could rattle off a list. But a lot of it - forget about it. Life is too short. Relax. Eat, Drink and Be Merry.