Childhood bereavement

Death is a concept that is difficult for a child to understand. Grieving adults are often confused and unsure how to respond supportively. Most children require many explanations and have many questions regarding death. "What happens when people die?" and "Where do they go?" are among the most common.

Discussing death is extremely difficult for many adults. It requires recognition that death is a natural process for all people. Children may have problems visualizing death. They may develop fears about what happens after death, what death feels like, or what would happen to them if their parents died. Parents should attempt to openly discuss death with their children if they ask about it or if the situation requires.

Death should be discussed honestly and in language that children can understand at their stage of development. A child's concept of death varies with age, and this must be taken into consideration.

Age 0 - 2 years:

• Sees death as separation or abandonment
• Has no cognitive understanding of death
• Feels despair from disruption of caretaking

Age 2 - 6 years:

• Often believes that death is reversible, temporary
• May perceive death as a punishment
• Engages in magical thinking that wishes come true -- may feel guilt for negative feelings toward the person who died, and think that was the cause of death

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Discussing death with children Prevention

Review Date: 05/02/2011
Reviewed By: Neil K. Kaneshiro, MD, MHA, Clinical Assistant Professor of Pediatrics, University of Washington School of Medicine. Also reviewed by David Zieve, MD, MHA, Medical Director, A.D.A.M., Inc.

A.D.A.M., Inc. is accredited by URAC, also known as the American Accreditation HealthCare Commission (www.urac.org)