What to do?????

Hi Vicki

Thank you for all the information, I will definatly look up everything you sent.

My husband's has tried all the pills out there, to no avail. The Dr. put him on testosterone pills and that isn't working either.

This past week has been a real test for both of us. I'm not sure I can live the rest of our lives this way. I can handle anything that cames along, but I can't be the only one fighting for it.

He gets very quiet and withdrawn when we try to talk about it. I know that he has a lot of guilt and i can understand that also, but we have to try to came up with other ways to work around this.

Thanks again for writing me, sometimes it gets lonely and there seems no one to talk to.

Lilly

Hi Lilly,

I know this is frustrating, but there are ways to get around this if you are willing to think outside the box.

I don't necessarily want to put your private lives out on a public forum, but this dysfunction could be a sign of something far more important than just testosterone. Many people believe that testosterone is the "end all-be all" for sexual function, and while it is very important, it is not the only cause or cure for a man's inability to perform.

There are many factors and the fact you said that he's quiet and withdrawn would tell me he's also a little depressed and that could be part of the problem. Sometimes it's not the inability to perform that is the issue, but the perceived notion that there will be a lack of performance. Reassurance from you is important at this point, but so is looking at other options.

You are a woman with many many many means for orgasm that don't necessarily involve intercourse.  Dr. Tepper has written an article called Sexual Healing that I think is a wonderful overview of sex and it's relationship to ED and orgasm. There is also a good overview here that talks about alternatives that you might want to explore.

This would be a good time for you and your husband to work through this with his doctor and between yourselves in a positive manner. If you would like to take this conversation offline, you can email me at Marie.Healthcentral@gmail.com. Good luck to you and your husband. Stay in touch and let us know how you are doing!

Vicki M

Amanda

thank you for the response. Sometimes we feel alone and are not sure what to do about it. It's not like you can just bring it up to any of your girlfriends!(no pun intended)

We started going to a counsellor and she seems to understand. The one good thing about us as a couple is we have a lot of love and respect for one another.

 I'm sorry that you and your boyfriend have to go through this also. It's not easy, but talking sure helps.

We are looking into other means from the urologist and a lot seems to be mental. It takes a string man to admit that there is a problem sexually.

I hope everything works out for you.

Thank you again for your response.

Lilly

Hi Amanda,

What wonderful advice!! Keeping the lines of communication open between you and your man is so important. Nothing is better than spending time with him in a no pressure situation. Just spending time laughing, touching, talking with no expectations of performance can be very satisfying.

Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing!

Vicki M

Hi BeeBee

Thank you so much for your comment, its means so much to know that other poeple go through this as well ans have had success.(not that I would anypne to go through this)

My Husband and I are dealing with a little better now.

Lilly