Given up... Living with ED

Written by

Sat, July 07, 2007

Sex life? What's that? It takes a little getting used to... time is the great healer. But prepare for that. There are worse things in life. Focus on other things... in my case, grandbaby and my teenagers. And church service.

I have a very complicated sex life. At 18 my second job was a **** projectionist... and private **** star (nowadays nothing is private with the internet!). No dad to teach me about love... women... sex. So I thought after watching the Devil and Miss Jones and Deep Throat 100s of times, that women were just *****... just sex objects to have fun with and on lucky week-ends the occasional party that turned into an orgy. Never went with any woman for love... just sex and lust. I considered my wives good f*!ks and nasty. Piece of meat that I could share with my buddies.

So now on my 4th wife, I am impotent. I have been to sex therapist. And 2 Urologists... Irving Fishman down here is one of the best... and after Cavernoscopy, he says i have severe venous leakage. Which means I am basically screwed.

My wife is impatient with me in bed... and rightly so. I cannot even get a decent erection when she sucks my dick. So she gets frustrated and quits. Cannot masterbate except to the vilest ****... Viagra works OK for me but she does not like it and says it is "artificial" I have asked her if she wants a divorce... she says no... but has made a comment that "I am only 47 and still want sex" when I told her there was no more sex.

I need to be the bigger person and file for divorce so she can find a man... and so I will still have time to save for retirement. But she does not want to leave... and I won't either... so I guess we are just stuck for now. When our 15 year old is out maybe then...

From a practical standpoint, I wonder, should I get my prostate out now? Prostate cancer is in my family. PSA is only 1.4 but I have SEVERE BPH and takes me 3-5 minutes to urinate sometimes. My uncle has it and it got into his pelvic bones. He is in bad shape now. He is 69... I am 49.

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samantha

9/19/07 4:48pm

... why not give it to her? You have two hands and a mouth, do you not? If your equipment is not functioning, why make her go without pleasure? If you care about her as a person, there are many ways to express that without having to have an erect member. Let her know that you find her attractive and desirable, and that you want to give her pleasure. Then do it. You need not lose your marriage over this.

ctap22

9/19/07 8:56pm

Believe me, I want to do her.. She does not like it. She just wants me to lick her **** AROUND IT and NO FINGERING. She says she really does not like oral sex... does not like being fingered... dildoes... or anything she says is "artificial" Believe me, I LOVE eating her pussy and love the taste. She just wants to feel the penis inside her... and the cum shooting out. So I am "damaged goods" to her and not a man anymore. I had a GF that said she was cool with it... but she got tired of waiting for me to divorce and moved to Jacksonville. I'm stuck.
We have reconciled after a 1 month seperation... I am trying. She will NOT let me touch her. Says she is NOT interested in sex. Does not want to even try. Won't let me touch her. A little kiss is about all I get every day... but I am thankful for that after almost going to divorce court. My life seems to be over as a lover. People put ENTIRELY TOO MUCH emphasis on sex and love. Sex is overrated... and this country is OBSESSED with it. If people did not have sex, we would have about 1/2 the crime rate... and MANY social problems would go. God should have made us to quit having sex after kids are born.

ctap22

9/19/07 8:49pm

She does not like oral sex... does not like being fingered... dildoes... or anything she says is "artificial" Believe me, I LOVE eating her pussy and love the taste. She just wants to feel the penis inside her... and the cum shooting out. So I am "damaged goods" to her and not a man anymore. I had a GF that said she was cool with it... but she got tired of waiting for me to divorce and moved to Jacksonville. I'm stuck.

frustrated wife

10/ 1/07 8:35pm

I am a wife of a ed sufferer. I know how your wife feels. I'm sick of toys and oral too. I'd rather not get anything started since i already know how it's going to end and I'm still wanting more. I'm sure your wife loves you just as i love my husband but take it from me, women in their 40's are more sexual than when they were 20. Something to do with hormones and nearing menopause. i have not cheated on my husband and don't know that i ever could. he is a very sweet and loving man and i know he can't control this problem, however, in the heat of the moment it's very frustrating to us wives when we can't get satisfaction. Good Luck!

Missing Buddy

3/31/08 8:21pm

My wonderful husband is a suffer of ED also. I have to say that he has decided to not have any more sex due to this problem. Why not try the surgery? If you love sex and want to make your mate happy (and can afford it), why stop living and enjoying what you love? I love to give my husband oral because I love when he feels good and unwinds enough to really enjoy the sensation. For me, I can use my toy and I am fine. I miss the close affection that we share when we used to make love. If your marriage is based all on sex, then when sex is gone, you have nothing to keep this going...

Given up... Living with ED

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