question on dealing with

by Wolfe
Thursday, March 13, 2008

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Wolfe

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I am a 51 year old male who is struggling. When I was a teenager, I masturbated almost daily. We were married 29 years ago, and have a monogamous relationship. However, our sex drives are completely different. I would like it daily, she monthly. It really was our only source of contention. Other than...

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e.d.
jl
Saturday, March 15, 2008 at 11:25 PM
well much the same here.....married 31 years, same sex drive issues. I can teel you this when i am around women at work that thing I am ok, I can feel things stirring that just do not happen at home anymore. I do not take antidepressants, and am discovering that I am infact deeply resent my wifes unavailability over the years and would rather masturbate. I love her deeply but always thought it would be different at this point..........and yes it is depressing as hell to be entering my senior years with that ache in my heart. BUT I do not think anti-depressants are the answer for me....seems it make the possibility of a solution much less likely.....regardless in whichever direction you turn.....counciling(drug free), masturbation just for the sheer pleasure it gives you, mutual masturbation, a new relationship, whatever....I just think for me realizing how angry I am/was about it has given me some peace. We are trying to work on it with some outside help, just not sure where that is going- best of luck jl
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re: e.d.
Vicki M
Sunday, March 16, 2008 at 12:22 AM

Hello jl,

You can read what I wrote for Wolfe above, but I think you might be having a personal issue in your relationship more than a physical issue. You mentioned that you and your wife are seeking a professional about it. I hope that works out because you and she have alot of years together and this should be the best time in your marriage. Dr Jay Motola has an interesting article here that explains ED in psychological terms. Perhaps if you shared the article with your wife and it's advice, she would be open to trying something new?

Please do stay in touch and let us know how things are going for you and your wife.

Vicki M

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Vicki M
Sunday, March 16, 2008 at 12:03 AM

Hi Wolfe,

While sex drives do appear to wane as we grow older, I think you are a bit young to be having that issue. You said you and your wife have seen your doctor, but have you seen a urologist to rule out any medical issue that would cause your ED? You have probably seen this information before, but it never hurts to go over it again to refresh your memory and help you ask those important questions of your doctor. Nothing online takes the place of your doctors advice. Only you and your doctor know what is best for your health.

Here is the link to a very good overview of erectile dysfunction. ou can look up symptoms, read about the latest treatments and contributing factors. In some cases, the issue is a combination of conditions. You could have something physical going on, which is causing you psychologically to have difficulty maintaining or attaining an erection. There is some information here about lifestyle changes and effects. Being that you are not only experiencing performance issues as well as lack of sex drive, it might be wise to see an endocrinologist to make sure the issue is not related to your pituitary gland.

I hope you find something useful in this information. Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing!

Vicki M

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