Hi ZBC59339,

I know it is frustrating for you and at such a young age too. There is alot to be done and alot that can be done, but it has to begin with communication between you and your sweetie. If you love this man and want to be with him, then you should be willing to work out the issues, but that means you need to sit down and talk to him about how you are feeling and together work out a plan to at least identify the issue. Men place a lot of their virility and manhood on sexual performance, especially young men. 

At his age, the issues you are facing could be only organic, but there could be something medical happening too. While online medical sites like this one are great, they do not take the place of sound professional advice from a doctor. Your boyfriend should make an appointment to see his regular physician and possibly a urologist to rule out any medical conditions. There are many conditions that can have the effects that you are describing, particularly his lack of libido. It can be as minor as a chemical imbalance, it can be as serious as a pituitary tumor (my s.o. had the tumor) and anything in between so the best thing to do is have him be checked out and make sure there isn't something medically wrong.

Before you see the doctor, there are some links here you can check out to get information so you can ask all the right questions and make sure you get the most out of the doctor's diagnosis and advice. I looked up some information for your particular situation and here is what I found:

There is a link to symptoms here that is helpful in understanding what can cause erectile dysfunction. You can check any symptoms not listed here in the symptoms database to see if something different comes up. You can read a really good overview here about what erectile dysfunction is and the various issues. There is also an article here that outlines individual causes.

Then once you and he see the doctor, he may prescribe medications. You can read about them here in the drugs database. It's possible the doctor might determine that some form of treatment is necessary. There is a good database about treatments available here.

There are also alot of very nice folks out there who are experiencing the same thing as you so you are not alone. There is a sharepost here by Missing Buddy where some folks have been discussing the issues they are experiencing. Woody and her partner are young people like you and she posted a sharepost here asking about certain issues. Apparently there is a dysfunction called situational erectile dysfunction that can affect younger men.

Most of all, and I can't stress this enough, if you love this man then you and he together should work through the issues causing this. Communication is so very important in all relationships, but none moreso than a relationship between a man and a woman, and some people find it difficult to talk about such sensitive things. You can also explore other ways to bring about intimacy. There are many many many many many many (did I mention many?) ways for two people to enjoy each other sexually that have nothing to do with actual intercourse. And, it's fun to explore those ways with your partner! I think that is where people miss great opportunities by not thinking outside the box!  

I hope you find this information useful. Don't give up. There is an answer out there, it's just a matter of finding what works for you and your boyfriend. We're here if you need us. Just reach out and let us know how you and he are doing!

Stay in touch!

Vicki M