Hi,

Based on your description this sounds like a condition known as anorgasmia. If this is the case I can tell you that more is known about the inability to reach orgasm during sex in women, but it does occur in men.

Possible reasons are performance anxiety, or there may be more deep seated negative issues about sex that often develop from childhood. Other known factors may be sexual abuse, monotony within a relationship, hormone deficiency, too much alcohol or drugs, or being overweight.

The fact that your husband can orgasm using other methods may possibly point to the fact that he has a history of self-stimulation and this has become more appealing than sexual intercourse itself. If you are to overcome these problems, and you believe they don't have a physical origin, then communication is going to be central to turning the situation around. You may need help from a qualified sex therapist just to get things on track.