I am suffering from ED and I don't know what to do now.

I am no professional, but I strongly believe my ED is emotional with maybe some physical (due to lack of exercise).  I am a 24 year old male that was married a little over a year ago.  I have been having issues in bed before then though.  It is really hard for me to pinpoint exactly when the issues started to happen, but I will try to explain. 

At one point, my g/f (now wife) was in depression.  Her cousin was missing for a while and she was thinking the worst had happened.  At this point, she still was ok with having sex, but I quickly could tell she didn't want to.  There was no emotion in it, so we kind of stopped for a while.  I honestly don't think this is my issue, but I figured it is worth mentioning.

When this was all settled and our lives got back to normal, we started to have sex without condoms anymore.  She preferred it that way, but I couldn't last as long anymore.  I even lost some of my ability to go more than once during a session.  I don't think it was physical...I think it was more of me getting over the initial excitement that every boy dreams of.  I still loved sex very much, don't get me wrong, but I didn't have it in me to go multiple times anymore...unless I took a break. 

As this went on, I started to go quickly...maybe just a couple minutes of sex that left her unsatisfied.  She would get upset/disappointed.  She would roll over and not speak to me.  She would make it well known to me how much I disappointed her.  I think this is my problem.  As these events become more commonplace, I grew to hate sex.  I don't want sex with my wife at all now.  I don't think of cheating on her...I never have.  I don't want any other woman cause I love my wife so very much.

So more and more events of disappointment led to the first time I couldn't finish.  Mid-sex, I just got like a hit of adrenaline and worry.  I always worried during sex cause I don't want to make her mad at me.  Anyways, this time I lost my erection.  I have never been so disappointed in myself in my life.  We had sex maybe a month after that and I ejaculated early.  At this point, that was a relief for me...just to finish.  Well, a while after that I had my second incident with ED.  I haven't had sex since and it was probably 6 months ago.

This honestly is ruining our marriage and we are on the verge of divorce.  My sexual problems have gone on for about 2 years...with the last 9 months or so of losing my erection during sex.

I feel I should add some more details in case.  We very often have sex during the night.  Sometimes I'm half asleep and she starts to feel up on me and I know she wants sex.  Sometimes I want to blame the fact that I was really tired.  There is also the fact that she has put on significant weight (as have I).  I like to believe I'm not shallow like that, but maybe deep inside I'm just not turned on anymore?  Sometimes I think that the lack of condoms made me worry about getting her pregnant.  I just felt we weren't ready for kids and maybe that contributed?  I've tried to think maybe I'm to stressed with work/bills/living the life of a grown up. 

I have masturbated to ensure it works...so I know it is not physical.  I try not to do this often cause I think it may contribute to me being bad in bed.  I have offered to use a vibrator on her to warm her up and get me in the mood, but she doesn't like that idea.  She wants it all or nothing.

I've literally considered everything possible...even things I forgot to mention here.  I am stuck.  We have argued about this a lot and I know we will divorce soon if I don't change.  I don't want to lose her, but I often feel she would just be better without me.  She won't have to feel so ugly (She blames my ED on her weight).  Where do I go from here?