Friday, October 31, 2014
Monday, November 02, 2009 Crystal, Community Member, asks

Q: How do I help my husband deal with his ED?

Ok... my husband has ED due to diabetes and blood pressure medications. He turned to porn and got caught. I was devastated... We have been in counseling, he for his issues, me for unrelated ones. We have sessions together to discuss intimacy rebuilding. So I am uneasy asking for sex, since much of the time the Viagra doesn't work, or not long enough. I don't want to ask for something he cannot do, so we are not sexually active. What can I do? I recently read about penis rings and bought one on line. I think it would help, but I don't know how to approach him about this. So what do you suggest?

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Answers (1)
Jerry Kennard, Health Pro
11/11/09 2:06pm

Hi Crystal,


If you actually involved in counselling to rebuild intimacy it may be that you are trying to force the pace a little. Resuming sexual relations takes time and I suspect your therapy is gradually shaping you towards a point where you both feel comfortable. I'm guessing this is why you are uneasy about asking for sex?


If your husband has been using porn he presumably retains a sexual appetite. For many women porn can seem like an act of betrayal. They feel bad and their partner feels anger, shame and humiliation at having been discovered. Your husband was presumably using porn as a release of some sort so it may be interesting to know what is was that aroused his interest.


If you can both overcome this hurdle I'm sure your intimate relations will improve. There are many different methods to help with the mechanics of ED so once you can resolve your emotions, the rest will follow.

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By Crystal, Community Member— Last Modified: 12/07/10, First Published: 11/02/09