Dr Owens, please help!!!! I am a 37 yr. old male and I have a 24 yr. old girlfriend. We get along just great the first few months of our sex life. it was all the time and strong. Lately I've been having a problem with maintaining an erection. Mentally I want her all the time but physically I can't perform the way I want to. She is understanding but I feel bad. I compensate by starting out giving her oral sex to get her to her orgasms in hope of maintaining an erection long enough to further satisfy her. Please any help you can provide medically or naturally. Thanks in advance.
Dr. Owens at Sexualhealth.com: How are your erections at nighttime or when you wake up in the morning? Have they changed from earlier times? How about when you masturbate? If you have noticed that your erections have become less strong in all three situations (morning/night, masturbation, when you are with your girlfriend), I recommend that you see your doctor. In this case, there may be an underlying reason affecting your general health, as for example, diabetes. A physical exam and a few lab tests would reveal much information.
Your doctor can also evaluate, whether you could take one of the three FDA approved oral treatments, Viagra, Cialas, or Levitra, in order to improve your erections. If your erections are only changed when you are with your girlfriend and unchanged during masturbation and in the mornings/at night, your problem probably has psychological roots. It may be that you feel a pressure to perform with your younger girlfriend and that this pressure has a negative effect on your erectile capabilities.
I suggest that you read the chapter "Resolving Erection Problems with Sex Therapy" in the book, The New Male Sexuality by Bernie Zilbergeld. I can highly recommend this book to you. Also, when you have sex, try not to focus too much on intercourse. Take some of the pressure off. You are already doing good by including oral sex and bringing her to orgasm that way. Give each other massages, take a bath together, watch an erotic movie together or use a vibrator or other sex toys. Check out Sexualhealth.com for inspiration.
