I just turned 30 and have noticed in recent months that I have trouble with ejaculating too fast. I mean too fast and maintaining an erection. It really has my whole self esteem shot. I used to be able to maintain even after I ejaculated. Now, I'm about to go through a divorce and will be dating and I don't know what to do. Of course, I want to be able to have sex like I used to!
Dr. Owens at Sexualhealth.com: It sounds as if you have some emotional turmoil happening at this time in your life, since you are about to go through a divorce. This may explain that you are ejaculating faster than usual, and that your erections are not maintained as well as normal. There is a very good chance that you will return to your usual level of performance once your emotional issues are resolved. Take your time.
Do not worry about dating at this time, worrying may only make things worse. Also, your first dates do not have to include intercourse right away. Once you feel ready to date again, enjoy getting to know a new person and spend some time simply adjusting to your new life. This will hopefully make you more relaxed once you resume sexual activity with a new partner. Meanwhile you can masturbate, if you want to. This is a very good way of improving your erections, and there are several exercises you can do in order to lengthen the time before you ejaculate. You can read about these exercises on our page dedicated to rapid ejaculation or in the chapter called Developing Ejaculatory Control in the book, The New Male Sexuality by Bernie Zilbergeld. I can highly recommend this book to you. I wish you all the best and good luck with everything.