Starting to hit me

Lo Living With It i'm 18 and have herpes and want to find people that also have it that... Send Message Subscribe: Lo

Monday, July 27, 2009
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So it's been about two weeks since i found out i have herpes. i'm really trying to figure out who i got it from and i don't know. i'm assuming it's after my ex ex boyfriend..we dated for about a year and a half and broke up this past september. i was the only girl he'd been with so i know i didn't ge...

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Let it ride.
rise_above
Tuesday, July 28, 2009 at 02:27 PM

I went through the same thing you did when I first found out I had herpes. This will drive you insane, and it's probably best for you to quit worrying about who gave it to you, and focus on how you're going to prevent spreading it in the future.

The problem is that since you've slept with these people numerous times, unprotected, even if you got every single guy tested, there's no way of telling if someone gave YOU herpes or if you gave it to THEM.

Personally, I've learned that people lie about their sexual history. I'm not saying that happened in your case, but it's a possibility. Plus, since herpes can go on undetected in some people, some of your exes may have legitimately thought that they never had anything. If they've never had an outbreak, they would never have felt the need to get diagnosed, and if they've never been diagnosed, they can only assume they're clean, right?

Anyway, from the sound of how your symptoms came on, it's a safe guess that whoever you slept with just beforehand is the culprit. From what I understand, that's how most cases pan out... you get infected, then shortly after the symptoms show. It's possible that you could have carried it for a while and then suddenly had an outbreak, but I'd put my money on the other scenario since it's most common. Confront the guy and have him get tested, just so he knows and won't spread it to anyone else, hopefully.

re: Let it ride.
Lo
Tuesday, July 28, 2009 at 04:45 PM

yea i thought it would be that guy too..i'm assuming you mean the guy i slept with for the first time. i said something to him when i first found out..i said that i might have something but i wasn't sure even tho i knew i had it. and he immediately said oh i just got checked a month and a half ago and i was clean and you're the only person i've been with since. which i think he was lying. he's 17 you don't just go get randomly checked. then i just said oh it was just a uti not an std. and then i decided i should actually tell him. so i did yesterday and he said oh well i went and got checked last thursday again and now i'm waiting for the results. even tho when i told him it was just a uti he was like oh okay good i don't need to get checked then. and now supposebly he went last thursday..yea okay. and he's like oh well i probably have it now if you have it, implying that i gave it to HIM when i am pretty sure he is the one who gave it to me. and a few months ago he told me he'd slept with 7 girls and then yesterday he's like oh well i've only slept with 3 girls..one was a virgin, one with a condom, and then you. oh really you're a liar. but whatever i guess i shouldn't worry about it it just pisses me off that he can't be responsible and admit it. and he was so irresponsible in the first place and fucking gave me this when i have a feeling that he knew he had it. and he had sex with me without a condom.