So it's been about two weeks since i found out i have herpes. i'm really trying to figure out who i got it from and i don't know. i'm assuming it's after my ex ex boyfriend..we dated for about a year and a half and broke up this past september. i was the only girl he'd been with so i know i didn't get it from him. and if i had it before that i mean i think i would've known or he would've gotten it from me or given it to his new girlfriend and none of those things have happened. since we broke up i've had sex with a few people. 1 guy was right after me and the ex ex broke up and we did not use a condom. it was a one time thing and i still see him all the time we're friends and i know he doesn't have it. 2 used condoms and one out of those 2 i'm the only girl he's ever been with soo it's not him for sure. the 2 guys i'm thinking of that it's one of them are my ex boyfriend who i dated for about 2 months - from december to february. we had sex a lot during that time and without condoms a lot. we also still had sex on and off since we broke up. a few times from february to may, and then we started like definitely hanging out and hooking up this summer. so like june. so this whole summer i've been hanging out with him and having sex with him - i'm leaving for school so we didn't wanna have a relationship and i didn't really care. so i'm thinking it's either from him, or this other guy. who is YOUNGER than me. he is 17. we talked and were "together" or some shit in like april but we never had sex. then we stopped cause i'm leaving and going to a diff state and blah blah. but on july 3rd - i know the date - i had sex with him. his friend was out of town so he was having a party and i went over there and slept over and we did. and mind you i have still been hooking up with the other guy my ex. so on friday july 3rd i had sex with guy #2 (joe) for the first time. On Monday July 6th like at night i started feeling kinda like itchy. not a lot i kinda was like oh well we had a lottttt of sex i'm probly just sore or something. i didn't think anything of it and was fine like it didn't really affect me. on wednesday july 8th i had sex with guy #1 (ty, my ex from december). no wonder i have herpes i'm a whore. i don't do this all the time it just ended up being like that at this period of time. the week goes on, i'm still a little itchy but nothing major kinda just thought nothing of it. saturday july 11th i had sex with guy #2 joe again. but this time we used a condom and it broke so we stopped. but still went for a little bit without one. on monday july 13th i started feeling not good at all. i was getting really itchy, burning, etc the "prodrome" stage i'm assuming. i thought i had a yeast infection so i took the monistat medicine. it didn't help at all and i started getting the bumps a few hours after. tuesday july 14th is when i went to the doctor and they told me i had herpes. now how in the hell am i supposed to know which guy i got it from. the doctor said that it would most likely be from a new partner in the past 2 weeks and i would get symptoms 4-7 days after being infected. well that matches up with guy #2 joe. but i asked him about it which was probably stupid i don't want anyone to know and he said that he got checked and was clean and he's only been with 3 girls - me, his ex who was a virgin, and another girl where he wore a condom. yet back in the day he told me he had sex with 7 girls. so i think he's lying. but if guy #1 ty doesn't have it, wouldn't he have been infected when i had sex with him after joe? because i would've been in prodrome and he could've def gotten it. and i had sex again with ty on july 22nd when my outbreak was over, I THINK. i didn't want to i just got put in the situation and didn't know what to do because it was just normal for us and i didn't know why i would say no i didn't wanna tell him i have herpes and i didn't know what to say so i just did and now i'm so worried and idk who i got it from and who has it and who doesn't and who i infected and who i didn't infect. now joe is saying that he has to wait a few days to see if he has it and i don't even know. would i have had it for a really long time and not gotten it from either of them?? i mean i explained my history..i don't think i had it before. i think it's from one of these two guys. i just don't know which one. and what if ty was just a silent carrier or w/e and didn't know and then i just got an outbreak now from having sex with someone who didn't have it?? i honestly don't know i just wanna know which one it would MOST LIKELY be from.
I went through the same thing you did when I first found out I had herpes. This will drive you insane, and it's probably best for you to quit worrying about who gave it to you, and focus on how you're going to prevent spreading it in the future.
The problem is that since you've slept with these people numerous times, unprotected, even if you got every single guy tested, there's no way of telling if someone gave YOU herpes or if you gave it to THEM.
Personally, I've learned that people lie about their sexual history. I'm not saying that happened in your case, but it's a possibility. Plus, since herpes can go on undetected in some people, some of your exes may have legitimately thought that they never had anything. If they've never had an outbreak, they would never have felt the need to get diagnosed, and if they've never been diagnosed, they can only assume they're clean, right?
Anyway, from the sound of how your symptoms came on, it's a safe guess that whoever you slept with just beforehand is the culprit. From what I understand, that's how most cases pan out... you get infected, then shortly after the symptoms show. It's possible that you could have carried it for a while and then suddenly had an outbreak, but I'd put my money on the other scenario since it's most common. Confront the guy and have him get tested, just so he knows and won't spread it to anyone else, hopefully.
yea i thought it would be that guy too..i'm assuming you mean the guy i slept with for the first time. i said something to him when i first found out..i said that i might have something but i wasn't sure even tho i knew i had it. and he immediately said oh i just got checked a month and a half ago and i was clean and you're the only person i've been with since. which i think he was lying. he's 17 you don't just go get randomly checked. then i just said oh it was just a uti not an std. and then i decided i should actually tell him. so i did yesterday and he said oh well i went and got checked last thursday again and now i'm waiting for the results. even tho when i told him it was just a uti he was like oh okay good i don't need to get checked then. and now supposebly he went last thursday..yea okay. and he's like oh well i probably have it now if you have it, implying that i gave it to HIM when i am pretty sure he is the one who gave it to me. and a few months ago he told me he'd slept with 7 girls and then yesterday he's like oh well i've only slept with 3 girls..one was a virgin, one with a condom, and then you. oh really you're a liar. but whatever i guess i shouldn't worry about it it just pisses me off that he can't be responsible and admit it. and he was so irresponsible in the first place and fucking gave me this when i have a feeling that he knew he had it. and he had sex with me without a condom.