For the past 5 months I have been struggling with this STD they call HSV 2. I have been at what I thought was my lowest point. Suicidal thoughts, feeling like an alien! I have been trying to get the dating thing kicked off with failed efforts. It seems that everyone and I do mean everyone places such a negative outlook on this disease. Yeah true its uncureable, but its not HIV or AIDS and noone can die from it! Thank God! Everyone who has this disease has it for a reason. Only the strong can survive this. Put on my shoes and wear them for a day! You would see how I cry when I think of my future. Many different emotions and feelings come along with a diagnosis. The number one thing I worried about was being able to meet that special someone and still have the other two kids that I planned on having before I got 32. It seems like 32 could be here tomorrow. I just dont believe that there is a person out there that would be understanding to this(but I know that there is). My anger takes control of me for a moment then the tears soon follow! WHY????WHY ME????? I ask God everynight and cry! What plan does he have for my life? One day it will all be revealed to me. I open up and tell guys the truth about what I have. Being the bigger person and everyone walks away! Would much rather just go sleep with someone and take that risk unknowlingly than to be told up front??? SEX IS RUSSIAN ROULETTE!!!!!!! Plenty dont understand that. So instead of chosing me because I have Herpes and I told you I did choose someone else who has Herpes but doesnt care to tell you and feel just as horrible as I did when my results weighed in Heavy as Hell oN ME!!!! I try to look on the bright side but My Anger always ends up consuming me. What I have doesnt change the person I was,the person I am or the person I will be. Look past the Herpes and just see ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Herpes or not, Me is all I can Be!!!!!!
Hey I posted in one of your other comments but I'm just gonna make a long story short. I have been in the place you are, it is very dark, lonely and misleading. #1 i just want to say that until you accept that you have it and take control of it instead of letting it control you ,you should not be trying to get into a relationship. YOU have to heal first. #2, if you really like someone and see it possibly being long term DO NOT tell them right away....its not lying or keeping the truth. Sex should not be the focus when its someone that you feel you could be with. I mean of course you have to tell them before you engage in sexual contact but that shouldn't be your first thought. You have to get to know them and let them get to know you first...only then should you tell them. I used to think that if I didn't tell them right away it would hurt later after I've developed feelings but trust me SOMEONE will stick around. I guess I got lucky...it was probably 2 months after I found out that I met someone and knew that he would one day be my husband. We hung out for about 2 months before I told him and all he did was hug me while I cried and said he wasn't going anywhere and he hasn't. We are expecting a child in June (my 1st, his 2nd). You are going to feel every emotion under the sun but you have to put those emotions in check and take care of YOU first. Only then can you move on and get into a relationship. I promise everything will be ok, you are talking to someone who was so low that I never saw the day that I would stand back up and be proud of who I was and not let this disease take over my life. I thank God for this experience b/c there is always some good that comes out of bad and it could have always been worse. I am wiser, stronger and feel that I can always offer a word of encouragment to someone who is dealing with this. I think my reason for having this disease is to warn others and be an example to others of the danger and misconceptions of this disease. Hang in there! God is watching over you, you will understand one day.