(For you those who judge) Angry Feelings Consuming Me! Be me for A day!They will consume you 2!

 For the past 5 months I have been struggling with this STD they call HSV 2. I have been at what I thought was my lowest point. Suicidal thoughts, feeling like an alien! I have been trying to get the dating thing kicked off with failed efforts. It seems that everyone and I do mean everyone places such a negative outlook on this disease. Yeah true its uncureable, but its not HIV or AIDS and noone can die from it! Thank God! Everyone who has this disease has it for a reason. Only the strong can survive this. Put on my shoes and wear them for a day! You would see how I cry when I think of my future. Many different emotions and feelings come along with a diagnosis. The number one thing I worried about was being able to meet that special someone and still have the other two kids that I planned on having before I got 32. It seems like 32 could be here tomorrow. I just dont believe that there is a person out there that would be understanding to this(but I know that there is). My anger takes control of me for a moment then the tears soon follow! WHY????WHY ME????? I ask God everynight and cry! What plan does he have for my life? One day it will all be revealed to me. I open up and tell guys the truth about what I have. Being the bigger person and everyone walks away! Would much rather just go sleep with someone and take that risk unknowlingly than to be told up front??? SEX IS RUSSIAN ROULETTE!!!!!!! Plenty dont understand that. So instead of chosing me because I have Herpes and I told you I did choose someone else who has Herpes but doesnt care to tell you and feel just as horrible as I did when my results weighed in Heavy as Hell oN ME!!!! I try to look on the bright side but My Anger always ends up consuming me. What I have doesnt change the person I was,the person I am or the person I will be. Look past the Herpes and just see ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Herpes or not, Me is all I can Be!!!!!!