For me I have been living with the diagnosis of Type 2 since October. I was in a relationship with a guy and he apartently had an outbreak without telling me, just told me he didn't want to have sex (and with our work schedules it turns out we didn't for over a week). It was shortly after that I had my first outbreak. I had never had symptoms in the past, but I knew something wasn't right so I went to the doctor. The hardest thing I had to do (or so I thought) was to tell him about my diagnosis. I was in tears and he was so supportive, telling me everything would be fine and that it didn't matter to him. This was a huge relief! Nothing changed between the two of us.
However, things turned out to be not so good. The whole time he started seeing somone else (even though not seriously yet). The only reason I know this is I had gotten a new job within a month from my diagnosis and we ALL (yes all 3 of us) work together now. I wasn't aware of this other relationship until the beginning of January. Things had ended between him and I on New Years and I later found out the real reason why. When the other female and I finally talked she was able to realize what he had been doing to us the whole time. I had what really turned out to be the hardest thing to do...I had to tell her! He wouldn't/hadn't gotten tested while with me and had told her he was clean. I just found out last week he finally got tested and does have it too. Luckily she doesn't have it.
What frustrates me the most is he is making me sound a slut to her and I just hope not to other coworkers. This hurts me so much because I was not the one who was sleeping with other people when we were together, and he had an outbreak before me (I know it doesn't mean anything). I later learned he had cheated many times before in his marriage (no he wasn't married when I was seeing him) and cheated again on the other female.
I feel like he has lied to so much not only to me, but to others. Fortunately for my other coworker I was honest enough with her so she wouldn't end up like me. However, I am sure he isn't being so honest.
Now that I have all that behind me and am starting a friendship with my female coworker, I have come to hit a wall. I am so scared to start dating again, for more than one reason. I am not sure how to trust again, I don't want to get hurt like I did. However, the harder part is how do I date and get into another meaningful sexual relationship with someone? I don't know I obviously have to share with any partner that I have GH, but I am scared to go through that again. I am on a daily surpression medication and so far it is going well, but only been on it a month. I am just all around scared about how this has changed my life for good. There are only 3 people that know (the guy, the coworker, and my mom). I feel like I am now tainted and nobody will want to get intimate with me after finding out my secret. Anyone have any words of wisdom that would be great!
sorry cant be the one to give you any good news, all I can do is share in your feelings, I was diagnosed in Novemeber with HSV 1 and since then my life hasnt been the same. I have my days where Im feeling confident and say this is just another obstacle in life, but then reality hits me and I realize this is something I can possible be living with for the rest of my life. since november I have been in search for a cure ,I have been doing this diet I came across and taking herbel substances as well as ozone therapy in hopes it will cure me, I remain optimistic about this because I feel if i dont im going to have a nervous breakdown, My love life hasnt been the same, since the diagnose I havent had sex/oral sex with anyone I dont get frequent outbreaks but knowing i have something I cant get rid of right away bothers the crap out of me. The guy I got if from not sure how hes doing havent spoken to him since i found out, I did let him know. I find myself more depress and feeling lonely then ever. I had hopes of getting back with my ex, but slowly that dream is fading away. I honestly feel this virus is worst then Aids. yes i know AIDS can kill you, but at least you know your fate, this disease is like a bully it keeps bothering you whenever it feels like and your not sure the right away to go about it so it can leave you alone for good. Im not trying to bring u down just sharing how ive been feeling. sorry u gotta work with that jerk.
I don't know what state you live in but you can ask an attorney about pursuing civil action. Courts have ruled in favor of the plantiff saying it is inappropriate for a person refusing to educate himself about herpes, lie to their partners, do nothing to protect them and gamble with their health. However, the window to so is very slim. In recent years, there have been large awards.
I was a victim of this also at a much older age and waited too long to take action. several years ago I met a person who seemed like me very committed to wanting a healthy relationship. We didn't start an intimate relationship for several months. However, he either felt extreme shame having genital herpes or was just a predator; when we had discussions about STDs; he assured me that he did not. While he was a physician, he refused to educate himself about asymptomatic herpes. He did nothing to protect me risking my health. Within 1 1/2 years, I became infected with genital herpes. Without honesty and trust, the relationship disintegrated. He has had successive partners since.
As I read these stories, it seems this a common thing that people lie about this-- no wonder the incidence of herpes keeps growing. With me, I was married before and have an adult daughter. It has made it easier for me to live a purposeful life without a relationship. I do not want to pass this virus on. I also have frequent outbreaks five years later and on valtrex. While most people experience a decrease in outbreaks, I have not. In fact, it has weakened my immune system. I don't wish this on anybody.
I think in general there needs to be more discussion about the lack of honesty with people disclosing herpes.