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Friday, October, 10, 2008

Breaking the News

by  Penelope James
Thursday, July 03, 2008

Have you just met someone who you'd like to be (or have already been) intimate with and want to tell him/her you have herpes?  Once you've educated yourself about herpes and picked the ideal location/situation to discuss your disease, then it's time to let the cat out of the bag.  Althou...

 

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  1. Telling someone that you have herpes
    greeneyes
    Wednesday, July 09, 2008 at 11:33 AM

    Laughing

    If you have decided to talk about herpes, try not to get emotional, this might arouse undue panic.  If you get upset telling someone you have H, they will be more concerned about running the other way.  State the facts - it's a very common virus that 1 out of 5 people have.  Symptoms are infrequent or mild or mistaken for something else - so much so that up to 90% of the people who have it, don't even know it.

    Explain to him/her that there are many types of herpes, and  that one of the most common is HSV1 - which is usually the cause of "cold sores" around the mouth. Up to 80% of the US population already has HSV1.  HSV1 can also be spread to the genitals during oral sex. "Shingles" are caused by yet another strain of herpes - herpes zoster - same virus that causes Chicken Pox.  Genital Herpes (HSV2) is just a different strain of this same common virus.

    HSV2 is very common but people who have it have not been diagnosed, it is possible that your potential partner might already have the virus and not know it. And even if they don't have it, odds are that 1 in every 5 of his/her previous sexual partners had herpes, they may have it and not even know it.  Suggesting that they get tested before you are intimate may be a good idea.

    There are many couples in which one partner has HSV2 and the other partner does not and they can enjoy a healthy sex life without transmitting the virus. 

    Always use a condom but keep in mind that the condom will only protect the part of the penis and areas of contact that are covered.

    Herpes is spread by direct skin to skin contact. Unlike a flu virus that you can get through the air, herpes spreads by direct contact, that is, directly from the site of infection to the site of contact. For example, if you have a cold sore and kiss someone, you can transfer the virus to their mouth. Similarly, if you have active genital herpes and have vaginal or anal intercourse, you can give your partner genital herpes. Finally, if you have a cold sore and put your mouth on your partners genitals (oral sex), you can give your partner genital herpes.

    Herpes is most easily spread when a sore is present, but, it is also often spread at other times too. Some people notice itching, tingling or other sensations before they see anything on their skin. These are called "Prodromal Symptoms" and they warn that virus may be present on the skin. Herpes is most likely to be spread from the time these first symptoms are noticed until the area is completely healed and the skin looks normal again.

     

    This is generally the advice I follow when telling someone who is non-H, I also date on www.sunshinedates.com one of many herpes dating sites and this eliminates 'the talk' altogether!

     


    reply
    re: Telling someone that you have herpes
    Penelope James
    Wednesday, July 09, 2008 at 10:31 PM

    Hi greeneyes,

     

    Thanks for the input, keep it comin'!

     

    PJ


    reply

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