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herpes
Hannah
Tuesday, March 17, 2009 at 08:35 PMI have just been diagnosed with Herpes, and i am still in complete shock about the whole thing. I heard it derrives from having coldsores and funnily enough i had one only last week. However, the chances of it coming from a sexual partner are more likely. I am currently seeing someone and we have always been careful and used protection, however half way through are dating, i had a careless, drunken one night stand with my ex boyfriend who happens to be a notorious man-whore and didn't use a condom..now i have herpes. I found out today of my diagnosis, my partner does not know of my one night stand with the ex, and i am in limbo as to whether i may have given it my partner..although we use protection? I am still in intense pain from the herpes and wonder how long this outbreak will last, and should i tell every future partner about my STI?
re: herpes
Penelope James
Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 05:35 PMHi Hannah,
Thanks for sharing your story. Yes, it sounds much more likely that you got herpes from your ex than you did from cold sores. I'm sorry to hear about what happened, but there are many of us out there who have been through exactly what you're going through now, and it will definitely get easier. Your symptoms will eventually go away and you won't be in pain any longer. As time goes on you will learn how to prevent and treat outbreaks in a way that is best for you, and you will become emotionally stronger.
It's hard to say whether you gave your new boyfriend herpes. It's possible you did, but it's also possible you didn't. I think you should definitely tell him you have herpes. If you were in his position, I'm sure you'd want to know. If you don't want to tell him you cheated, then that's your business. But at the very least let him know what you may be exposing him to, and think about his health and that of other women he may be with after you. You don't want to be a culprit of spreading this disease even more than is necessary.
And yes, you should tell your future partners that you have herpes as well. If you want some advice on how to do that, you can read my SharePosts called Setting the Scene and Breaking the News. You may also want to check out the Transmission and Dating and Relationships pages for more information. Don't be too worried about it, I just told a new partner about my herpes and he was very accepting of it. He's just one of a handful of partners I've had who have had the same reaction.
But please, be honest with your current man. Also, I hope you've told your ex that you tested positive for herpes, so that he can get tested too and hopefully stop infecting other women.
Come back and give us an update!
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