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I recently found out this week that I may be HSV positive. My test results are confusing considering the conflicting information between what I have read and what my physician has told me. In a nutshell I was told by my doctor I was IgG negative but IgM positive. I have always been careful with my past partners & kept up with my testing. My partner as been just as responsible and has always had negative results as well. But yet, somehow I may have the virus.
The news has been devastating and although I am pretty rational person with professional knowledge in the mental health, yet I have woken up every morning feeling like my life is over! I informed my partner immediately and he has been extremely supportive ( we are both in the same boat), but until we are for sure about both of our results we have chosen not to share our situation with any of our support group (family or friends). This decision has made it extremely difficult for me due to the isolation I feel. I'm not sure if I could even tell my family. I have always been their pride and joy and I'm not sure how they can accept this when I am not even sure how this may have happened. Especially when the social stigma of this STD is based on being irresponsible, ignorant, and promiscuous. (Although it is funny how the same is not thought for 90% of the adult population who have oral HSV1 aka cold sores and it is practically the same virus).
I have been told that there are herpes tests that can give you false negative results and to be honest I am quite pissed that the medical profession would use such out of date testing. This disease is not something I would have ever wanted (like many of us) and not something that I would have wanted to be responsible for giving to another.
Besides the possible Dx for the virus it's self, my depression is really based on the feeling that due to this STD I may not able to have the family I wanted. I understand you can be pregnant and not pass on the HSV as long as you do not have an outbreak during delivery or even better have a caesarian to prevent transmission. But here is the key question that I've yet to find... how can you become pregnant without transmitting the virus to your partner, and if your partner has the same HSV as you is it dangerous to have unprotect sex to become pregnant? (Which, every fiber in my body is thinking YES!)
This may seem like a ridiculous amount of information to write but it is the first time I have been able to express my feelings since I received the call from my doctor. Any information would be helpful, especially on my concern of conceiving.
Hello! Having herpes is not the end of your life, and you can have the family you've always wanted. If your future partner will not want accept you std then, in my opinion, such relationships cost nothing, and there is nothing to be sorry about. As an alternative you may try http://www.stidatingclub.com/ , it is a friendly dating community for people with herpes; you will find a lot of info on herpes and a lot of singles who share their own experience, those who faced or face the same problems.
hi... i only found out that i have HSV 2 a few days ago.. i felt the same.. but i must say you should think yourself lucky you have a partner to stand by you and help you deal with it as i am not in the same boat.. i really think you should go to a sexual health clinic to get some facts and advice as my GP was absolutely ignorant and useless to be precise.. he didnt even look at the infection and told me 'its probably thrush' if i didnt know better i would have not even known i had the virus..it sounds like your DR wasnt very helpful either.. what you need to remember is there is always someone worse off than you and its not as bad as it seems..try to stay positive :)
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Hi Hannah,
Thanks for sharing your story. Yes, it sounds much more likely that you got herpes from your ex than you did from cold sores. I'm sorry to hear about what happened, but there are many of us out there who have been through exactly what you're going through now, and it will definitely get easier. Your symptoms will eventually go away and you won't be in pain any longer. As time goes on you will learn how to prevent and treat outbreaks in a way that is best for you, and you will become emotionally stronger.
It's hard to say whether you gave your new boyfriend herpes. It's possible you did, but it's also possible you didn't. I think you should definitely tell him you have herpes. If you were in his position, I'm sure you'd want to know. If you don't want to tell him you cheated, then that's your business. But at the very least let him know what you may be exposing him to, and think about his health and that of other women he may be with after you. You don't want to be a culprit of spreading this disease even more than is necessary.
And yes, you should tell your future partners that you have herpes as well. If you want some advice on how to do that, you can read my SharePosts called Setting the Scene and Breaking the News. You may also want to check out the Transmission and Dating and Relationships pages for more information. Don't be too worried about it, I just told a new partner about my herpes and he was very accepting of it. He's just one of a handful of partners I've had who have had the same reaction.
But please, be honest with your current man. Also, I hope you've told your ex that you tested positive for herpes, so that he can get tested too and hopefully stop infecting other women.
Come back and give us an update!