Telling Your Partner, Gender and Acceptance

I was recently diagnosed with HSV (three days ago) and have not told my partner yet. At this point, I've come up with every possible senario that could happen! I like your approach a lot better. It's brave, bold, and straight forward. It's really difficult, when first diagnosed, to not be very sad and ashamed of what's going on. I'm trying to keep my chin up and find the best approach to dealing with this in a healthy and nonstressful manner, considering stress is a contributing factor.

Thanks again for your article! It was fun and witty. It was the first one with such an upbeat tone. I hope to hear more from you in the future!

Hi,

I stumbled across your blog and wanted to reply. Im currently going through the process of telling someone i have herpes. I contracted it from my previous relationship and the girl that im seeing now is unreal and im starting to fall for her in a big way. Im actually gonna tell her tomorrow and im pretty terrified. I just wanted to ask your advice, can you get genital herpes from kissing a person. Ive searched high and low and some say yes and some say no? We have french kissed but thats all, is there any way she could have got it?

Thanks so much

I have had HSV 2 Genital for one year now and still find it hard to tell a new person. I want to be the person that does it early on so they wont develop feelings if they cant handle the fact I have what I have then again I dont want my whole city knowing I have Herpes( which Im sure probably half the city has it) LOL!. People can be cruel and have palced this horrible stigma on Herpes when its really nothing more than a skin disease. I engaged in a sexual relationship with this guy and I ended up telling him after our first sexual encounter. He continued to have sex with me after he knew so I never brought it up again. We eventually ended things and I asked him why he was willing to engage in sex with me even thought i had Herpes he replied that he didnt think it was that big of a deal. I was releived to know that everyone isnt judgemental but..... i have told other guys from the start and they run the other way. Its all in the person and their level of maturity. This other guy told me he felt sorry for me. and thats the last thing I want anyone to do is feeel sorry for me. so here i am again at a crossroad met this new guy we click so well but im back at square one on how to tell him I have HERPES? Depression alwyas comes right before I try to figure out a way to tell someone

I just found out I have it.  My best friend was quite understanding and was my sister and my best male friend.  I get to have my first experience telling a partner, I hope he will be understanding.  He is aware that I was just getting out of a relationship with someone who was infected.  I was hopinig I would still be okay and negative but such is not my luck.  So now I have to go through this whole learning curve and stay positive.

I have had herpes since I turned 18. The last person I was with was the person who gave it to me. So the past  years I have been rejected because of it. I just don't understand why. I guess since I have been dealing with it for 5 years now, it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. At this point, I just avoid getting to know guys. I am so tired of being hurt.

I find the fact that your open with your herpes to others is admirable. Being someone who just found out that they surely do have the herpes virus, I at this point am keeping it like a little secret held tight close to me.  If you don't mind me asking you a question. Do you think it is good to tell close family or friends about our disease? I talking to partners we are involved sexually with it is important to tell them, but discussing it with close family and friends is important or not? I find myself wanting to tell people and just talk about it, but am afraid of reactions I will receive. Thanks for the reading!