Need some advice

By pebbles26 Friday, November 27, 2009

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I'm 25 yrs old and was just diagnosed on 9/17/09. I am a single mother, and am just now beginning to accept what I have been dealt. I need some advice, if possible, from a guy, because I would like to know a guy's point of view on this particular topic. I have been talking to a guy for about a month and a half now. We live in different states, but know each other from high school. We were never close before, but just recently got in touch online and began to text/chat regularly. He wants to come and visit me maybe next month. I really like him and want him to come, but I'm worried because of my situation. We have never really discussed a serious relationship, but we do like each other alot and I feel like it could possibly go somewhere. What we have is basically a friendship, but there is obvious attraction and I'm almost positive he will want to be intimate with me when he comes to visit. He seems like a great guy, and we really like each other, but I am totally terrified to tell him that I have HSV 2. I will definitely not sleep with him before telling him, however, I'm not sure whether to tell him before he comes, or wait until he is here in person. I don't want him to feel like I lured him over here only to drop that bomb on him, but I don't want to run him off before even getting a chance to actually see him and spend some time together. Any guys out there that can give me a piece of advice? Maybe what you would prefer if you were in that situation? I'll take any advice I can get right now. Girls are welcome to comment as well!

Comments (3) | Add comment

Tiger

11/29/09 8:50pm

Just set up that there would be now sex until you get to know each other better. I don't know when the time is right to tell them about having herpes.

I wish you the best

open_minded

11/30/09 8:02am

your situation is the same as mine was. i was nineteen when i found out i had hsv2; i am now twenty && i am finally starting to be comfortable with it or atleast deal with it.

about a month ago i met a guy who i had went to daycare with over ten years ago. well we started talking && there was chemistry right away. well things started getting serious && i hadnt told him i had hsv2. i wanted him to get to know ME before i had to tell him. i was also scared that he would leave me because of it. so i waited. to tell you the truth i think me more i waited the harder it was to tell him. i had a melt down the night before i told him. i mean i was making myself sick. i was so scared he was going to leave me. well the day came && i finally told him && he was just fine with it. he kept telling me " i would never leave you for something so small". that made me feel good && really shown me that he really truly cares for me.

if this guy really cares about you && wants a seriously relationship, it isnt going to matter to him. i know how you are feeling right now. i kept asking myself should i write him an email? or should i tell him in person? in your situation since he doesnt live close i would let him visit, but i wouldnt be intimate with him-i would tell him you wanna take it slow. let him get to know you. once you and him are comfortable enough with each other, just sit down && talk to him about it. everything will be fine. but remember if he doesnt want to be with you after you tell him, he wasnt there for the right reasons.

some many people are ignorant to the fact of what herpes is. they think people who have it are gross. && that isnt the case at all. herpes isnt as serious as people make it out to be. i mean mostly everyone has had it. chicken box, coldsores, shingles. hsv2 is just like having a coldsore just in a different place. 1 out of every 5 people in america have herpes. i just want you to know, you are not alone and if you ever need to talk i am here for you. please let me know how things work out.

tinkerbell / Victoria

12/ 2/09 7:04pm

I am a woman, Ithink this whole thing is a good thing and you both have been talking as friends, so the thing to do if I'm not to late in saying this, is to let him come to visit and if things go in that direction then tell him because it is a learning experience if him as well,that way you will know if it was just for a one nightstand or/ weekend stand. and if so would you want that after what we are and will be going through? I will think about your decision.POST IT OR E-MAIL YOUR ANSWER.

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