63 years old. Other than sexual contact, how is the virus transmitted?

I was sore and had what I thought was an ingrown hair in the pubic area.  By the time I got to the doc (GYN) a week later, there were 3 or 4 sores that felt like blisters, and I could barely sit down.  She stated it was a classic case of outbreak.  Blood was drawn and returned positive. 

My husband has never had an outbreak or sore.

From what I have read so far, outbreak is brought on by stress. 7 years ago, I had a nervous breakdown and there was no outbreak.  I would think that the period leading up to the breakdown would be very stressful.

thank you for reading my post

Was there any medications that helped your situation and how long did it take for your condition to clear up? Do you feel stress was the key factor for the out break?

ok this is happening to me and I need help I had a pimple or so I thought down there, it just came back yesterdayh my   type 2 I have been th my partner since 2006 and he has never had an outbreak in his history or ever had anyone disclose one to him I have never seen anything on him I will make a long story short I was volunteering in a third world country and got really sick from the water so bad I was in this run down bathroom with such cramps period pain and direar  the badroom was reallya toilet with no seat bloodstains and shit everywheyre it was filthy I had to sit on it could not stand and was there for an hour before they found me I used sogged toilet paper that was there but I was so sick not in my right mind tat night I had a pimple but some zinc on it it went away now months later I have herpes 2 I am pretty sure that is where it came from if he comes back negative I feel I have to break up with him and well to protect him I hate my self and have been faithful

I have read many credible sources re the behavior of HSV 1 & 2 in the body. I have also spoken two two STD specialists specifically about oral HSV 2. Oral HSV 2 recurrances are extreemly rare if they happen at all. For a rational view online regarding the spread of HSV I highly recommend Medhelps website and read the posts by this man. He is highly qualified to comment. get the facts, loose the fear.

I have been having outbreaks on my mouth and face since I was 11 years old.  As far as I know, I never had any sexual contact by that age.  I really don't know how I first got it.   As an adult, I have been tested (more than once) as positive for HSV2 only, negative to HSV1.  There have been times I have gone for years with no outbreaks, sometimes I get them every month, sometimes one outbreak will last for close to 2 months.  I get it on my mouth, on my anus, and on my genitals.  I have been married twice.  My first husband never got anything.  My second husband got sores, but only tested positive for HSV1.  Makes no sense.  I had a boyfriend who got it as bad as I did (condom broke).   So...when I read about things being possible and not possible, I say you really never know for sure.  For me, stress (particularly relationship stress) is a big trigger, as are foods with a high level of arginine.  St. John's Wort also seems to be a trigger. 

I am a 57 yr old woman & have been married 34 yrs this coming July. My husband went to the Dr last week with some blisters around the anal area. He told him that he had the herpes virus, put him on Valtrex & Bactrim. He seems to be better but our question is - where & how did he get it? We've had no other sexual partners so where  this came from we don't know either. The Dr asked him if he had been stressed about anything but he says he hasn't been. I have a lot of questions about this.

I can imagine how you feel.  It is very puzzling when everything available says there is only one way, sexual, of transmitting genital herpes.  We are three who know there has to be another way.  I will keep searching and if I get any helpful information I'll post it here.

please let  me know what u find I hate myself

I hate to say this but your husband may not be telling you the whole truth. Herpes outbreaks normally happen where the virus was introduced. If he has them around his bottom that means that is where he was introduced to the disease, granted herpes can spread but generally you only get outbreaks where the initial site of the infection was caught. Look it up, the whole bathroom, knobs etc is a bunch of crap. You also have to realize that there are two types of the disease...

I have to disagree with you on him being unfaithful. We spend 24 hrs a day with each other - there is no way there could have been any hanky panky. We work together, drive to & from work together, live together, eat, sleep & breath together. I think my Dr is wrong - I don't think he ever had herpes.

were the sores on his cheeks or around the actual anus? i have heard of transmission due to sitting on a contaminated toilet seat... but if the sores were around or on his actual anus then i'm afraid the obvious conclusion is anal sex. there could be another reason of course, such as using a contaminated towel at the gym or pool. it is very rare for non-physical transmission to occur though.

Hold on... that's not true. I am male of the hetrosexual type. I've had episodes occur on my cheeks near the anus. As a child, I suffered from the classic cold sores, but not so much as an adult. These slowed down somewere in my forties. That's when the episodes near the anus began to occur. But, I may have had syptoms of that type earlier and believed it to be an ingrown hair. Therefore, just because he has sores on his bottom cheeks does not make anal sex obvious!

Regards. 

toilet seat, public restroom

if you said that you had an outbreak on your bottom from sitting on the toilet. I could have with with that but you are not going to get hsv on you pus from sitting on a toilet seat. Its just that simple. the out break area has to come in contact with virus not near the virus but in contact.

I have to disagree.  I am a large woman and those airline toilet seats are tiny.  My genital area was definitely in contact with the toilet seat.  Also, my husband has never had any symptoms and has never had either type of herpes which he wold have had to have in order to infect me.  And I promise that I have never had sexual contact with anyone other than my husband.  If you have an explanation for my "immaculate infection" I am willing to listen.

Most people dont have symptoms...a lot of people are "carriers" of the disease and have no knowledge of it. Just because you have it doesnt mean you will have outbreaks. The general std testing doesnt test for it...a simple blood test will tell you if you have it and how long you have had it. I had it a LONG time before my first outbreak according to the antibodies in my blood test. I am not saying that rare instances dont occur but in general you cant just get it from hand shaking and touching.

before i slept with my  boyfriend i was tested and all my results came back negative. my then boyfriend had a test and his results were negative too. so neither of us had any diseases we had the all clear. a few weeks after we split up i had a sore up my nose for a long while that took a long time to heal..i then heard that the coldsore virus can also live in the nose? a friend said the sore would have been a coldsore..i have to admit i did pick at the sore because it was showing and it looked awfull having a brown sore sticking out my nostril. is it possible that i could have spread the virus to myself by touching the sore on my nose then touching my genital area?.. because my ex had another test after finding out i had the virus...but his cameback clear again?. so i could not hav got it from him and we wer both faithul and i havent slept with anyone since we split?. it is all so confuseing?. the nurse who gave me my test told me i had stage 1 of the virus?. which is the mouth coldsore one so she said it was spread from my boyfreind having a coldsore..but he did not have a coldsore at the time we had oral sex?. ive met someone new now and im terrified to tell him i have the herpes virus..i have made excuses not to sleep with him e.g time of the month..the old head ache one ha ha! and that im not on any contraceptive. i will tell him before we have sex just hope he sticks around because i realy have fallen for him.

The nurse was telling you that you have Herpes Simplex 1, which is the cold sore type.   The sexually transmitted type is Herpes Simplex 2.   You DON'T have genital herpes, just the other type.   It has nothing to do with sex and you didn't contract it sexually.   Rest easy.

This is true...for now.. HVS 1 is not genital herpes and should not interfere with sexual intercourse; however, if you even have a cold sore on your mouth, lip, nose etc (even just the bump before the blister) DO NOT give your boyfriend oral. 

A couple years ago, my husband performed oral sex on me while having just a very small red bump on his lip... 4 days later, I broke out with the worst episode of blisters, etc and went to the doctor. He diagnosed me with herpes just by looking at the sores, he then turned to my husband, who by this time had a full blown cold sore, and asked if we had had oral sex recently. Of course, the answer was yes and then he talked to us about how he had spread it to my genitals. Blood test also confirmed both HSV 1 and 2 in my blood. Come to find out, that when my husband was younger he had several episodes of cold sores, fever blisters, and rashes along thighs and mouth. Doc says that some severe colds and fevers at an early age are HSV-1.

i dont think so, just hand shaking will get it,

ok so what kind of  test do I as k for to determine how long I have had it I thought you could not tell how long please reply I need help I am destroyed over yhis just found out and my relationship maybe over I even thought of what is the point of living

Your doctor can do a simple blood test to see how long the antibodies have been in your system. I am not sure what it is but the doctor told me that I had it for some time before the first outbreak. Now he could have been telling me that because I was so upset but seeing they have a medical oath to obtain I dont see that happening...but I was really upset because before my husband I was only with one person and that was my first time with a condom..Please dont talk about killing yourself as this disease is managable, medically it is only looked at as a mild skin infection. The name sounds worse that it is, but I understand your feelings...I have been there. Once the shock of it all passes, you will be ok. I still am pissed at my EX-husband but I have moved on and it gets better. I used to have outbreaks twice a month...now with Valtrex they are few and far in between. There will be others that will accept you with it and then you may have the ones that dont, but life does go on and you will be ok.

Check out this link from webmd...http://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/guide/sexual-health-genital-herpes

There is a lot of misinformation floating around. This is one of the myths that is not true. The antibody tests are either positive or negative. The numbers associated with them are only relative and cannot indicate how long the infection has been there.  The ONLY way to know how long you've had herpes is to have a reliable test that is confirmed negative and later have a test that is positive. Then you know it happened somewhere between the two tests.

The fact of the matter is that a large majority of people who are infected never know it because they have no recognizable symptoms. If you had not gone to the doctor, with that minor irritation, you still would not know.

I'm around your age and have had GH for over 10 years. It has not slowed me down. LOTS of people have this so you're not alone. Find a friendly herpes support group online and talk with others in a similar situation.

The herpes virus does not live outside of the body except for seconds it is a weak virus out of the body.  Usually, a man will cheat with a woman who has no visible signs of herpes and it takes months for the symptoms to show up in the male, unknown to him that he has it transfers it to the wife as in my case.  The very first symptom is a bruise type spot on the behind, then any and all mucus membranes can have an outbreak including the gums in your mouth.  Also, there are many strains of herpes so if you think you can sleep with another person with herpes and be ok wrong he or she may have a different strain then it is like getting it all over again, but the toilet seat is very, very unlikely.  Unfortunately I know and it makes me cry.

You CAN NOT get genital herpes any other way besides some form of sex. If you could get it from a toilet seat I think everyone would have it and even kids...this is a sexually transmitted disease. Your dr. is very wrong and probably didnt want to ruin your relationship, granted the disease can sit dormant but you really need to do more research and find another dr.

I have to put my two cents in. But I believe the doctor is right! Are you a doctor? It might not have actually went that way but it does mean she or her husband been cheated on each other one they might have all ready had it or two they could have had skin to skin contact with a person that had. example: shaking hands with someone that had an outbreak no their hands, or kissing a relative that had a cold score (outbreak) it is very command. So if you are not a doctor or havent read to much in to it then i believe you shouldnt say the doctor is lying.

Not sure this helps.  I know of a case where the herpes was spread to the groin area through massage.  The masseur had virus on her hands and passed it on to her customer while massaging his groin area.  She probably touched someone who had the virus prior to the massage.  Apparently, a communicable disease doctor believes it is possible for the virus to transmit in this manner.

i'm sorry but you are misinformed. while extremely rare, it is possible to transmit the disease through non-physical contact. if you have an outbreak on your genital area and butt cheeks and use a public bathroom you are putting everyone who uses that bathroom after you at risk for infection for up to two hours. the same thing goes for wiping yourself with a towel at a tanning salon, gym or pool. the disease, while active in your skin, can live on an inorganic object for a couple hours. the skin touching the object has to be contagious in order to pass it on just like with physical contact transmission. a doctor is not going to try and protect your relationship by lying to you about medical facts. they can be sued because of that.

you are so wrong! That relentless, psychologically, damaging disease can be spread by sharing the same drink or a kiss, it is commonly spread via saliva. It is highly contagious and is most commonly spread through saliva.

i, too, have just been diagnosed with hsv2.  i was told it was contracted in the past 1 1/2 months. i have been married for the past 23 years & had no extramarital affairs. my husband has not either. he just tested negative on a culture for hsv. i am devastated. i was told to get a culture done, also. where did this come from? i have been under enormus stress, not getting rest, eating poorly and had a hernia operation recently. i did step on a nail aprox 1 1/2 mths ago. my husband & i are very happy & very much in love. this is devastating me more than him. i am beside myself & cannot function at all. i am returning to the PA who diagnosed me for a culture. i am ready to kill myself! 

Oh Marie!  I can understand your feelings, truly.  I went through all of them myself when I was diagnosed.  My doctor did not do a culture which I now regret because it might have confirmed my own suspicions about how I contracted the virus.  I promise things will get better.  It is so discouraging when literally everything you read tells you that there is only one way to get HSV, but you and I and, I suspect, others are living proof that there has to be another way.  I pressed my physician to put me on Acyclovir as my husband was extremely concerned about the impact on our sex life and he foresaw a lifetime of having to be wary.  I am on Acyclovir for a year.  I have not had any outbreaks since the initial severe one that sent me to the doctor.  It is not 100%, but my husband has been tested twice in the last 9 months and so far he shows no evidence of exposure.  I mean it when I say that life will look better in time and don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise.

I was recently in the hospital with a bad flu over the past weekend the oncall dr ended up diagnosing me with pneumonia. the day proir to the hospital visit i woke up in the morning with a little pain around the vagina. i took a look and thought it was a little in grown hair. bright red and swollen. as the day went by i noticed another one form. when i showed the dr at the hospital he automatically looked and diagnosed me with genital herpes. the next morning i looked again and noticed tinnier little red pimple looking bumps with little white centres. the other area was already broken and bleeding after 24 hours?? i dont understand. so i went to my family dr's and she  looked and had no idea what it was she said it could be herpes but she didnt think it was or she said it may have been something called molluscum contagiosum. i looked it up and it fit the discription very well. is it possible that the dr at the hospital misdiagnosed me? my boyfriend has been my only partner for the last 4 years and i was a virgin before  that. i get coldsores and also sores in my nose once so bad that it spread all the way to the side of my nostril! my boyfriend has never had any symptoms of the herpes type 1 or 2 virus. if someone can please help me i havent slept in 3 days and i am completely devestated over this. i am a mess and so is he he told me he doesnt know if he can stick with me cause hes afraid of all this!!  we just bought a house together which will be ready in 4 weeks and he is in the process of ring shopping with my sister. i feel like my world is falling apart and i m helpless!! can someone tell me what genital herpes looks like?    

re understanding...............i am extremely grateful to my husband's dr who recommended i return to the PA/C who diagnosed me with hsv2 for a culture...........remember she diagnosed me w/hsv2 by just an exam?  my husband called me at work today, he said the clinic called & said "well, you just hit the lottery!"  your wife has hsv1, not hsv2.  my husband has cold sores quite frequently.  the PA said that my case was rare, but the culture definately came back as hsv1.  now, i have been living in hell for the past week over this sloppy diagnosis.  yes, i am greatly relieved, but i was ready to kill myself!!  i was made to feel i cheated on my husband as this was the only way to contract hsv2.  not to mention the pyschological impact this had on me,...i was quite hysterical.  i thank God above for my wonderful, understanding husband.  he did not believe for a minute i had cheated & contracted this disease.  i knew it was a mistake, but how do you refute healthcare givers when they tell you, you have this & you got it this way.  then, offer no other answers, or possible scenarios for contracting the disease.  yes, i am bitter.  we should not have to stand for this from our healthcare providers.  i am praying for all who have been diagnosed with hsv.  i do have hsv1, but the simple fact that i did not f**k someone other than my husband to get this disease is comforting to me.  thank you to my wonderful husband....i love you very much.

i was devastated to find out I had genital herpes in my throat.  I went in for a persistent sore throat and they called me and said it was positive.  I said for what!  I had been married (and faithfull) for 10 years, 15 now, and I couldn't understand how this could happen. My husband is negative for hsv2.  this must have happen earlier in my life and I didn't know.  everyone feels great shame at first.  there are more of us out here than you can imagine.  once i found out i had it, it was like people who had it were waiting to give a supportive word.  hang in there.  it does get easier.

Marie I understand. I was diagnosed today well, actually visually and waiting the blood resultss. it's soo puzzling where and how this has happened and I"d like to know how long it can lay dormant. It would help figure out where I contracted it because there's been one person since I was with my husband 2 years ago and no one for 7 years prior. I am committed to one person whom I trust with my life and we've had very candid conversations. It would have to have been dormant in me for many many years.

I'm trying not to beat myself up but i want to kill myself and not sure i'm not entirely still numb. HOw on earth did they know you contracted it in the past1 1/1 months?

When this person said it can only be contacted in the blood...I shut her right out as someone that is blowing smoke..she has no idea what she is saying but pretends to be knowledgable. Viral shedding happens on the skin surface. Don't listen to this person.

i definitely agree with this poster.  20% of type 1 goes to the genitals and 20% of type 2 goes to the mouth.    my daughter had an especially virulent case of oral herpes when she was in grade school----and i developed genital herpes.    the doc asked me if i or my husband had a cold sore.  i told him no, but that my daughter did.  he said all it would take would be for me to come in to contact with her active cold sore with an open would.  he then looked at my hands which almost always have open wounds due to having atopic dermatitis---it really was pretty much a no-brainer----although, i didn't have it typed and always wish i had, because my husbands ex-wife was unfaithful to him.  he could actually have been a carrier.  but, since i have been at least 15 years without a break-out, the doc says that kind of points to it being type 1 rather than type 2.  just my 2 cents worth.

Chris , you are way too funy.LOL.You do make alot of sense.But i do have to say in my own situation,I'm that person who did not get it sexually.Let God strike me down.I had gotten it from my  own bestfriend! She allowed me to try on  her shorts  right after her.How was i suppose to know the girl had herpes? Ewhhh.No more trying on someone's  clothes to see if it fit's.Not a good idea for girls playing dress up..Then it was only week later when she came "out "about her std..Did she really know at that time or not? We will never know.

Your right Chris-- i'm proof of that

  I was in my forties when i got checked for a burning on my lips and tongue.

    Initially the doc found nothing. There were no blisters, just a burning feeling.

     about a week later, I now have the same burning feeling in the genital area and around my anus- along with feeling like i had a bad flu.

   I'm single and hadn't had sex in months.

   It went away after a month or so I wrote it off as who knows.

    a few weeks later ,the burning feeling came back in the genital area, this time  a slight burning on my penis and pimples on my butt.

  Again dissappeared in a week , only to come back a few weeks later.

   It took two doctors and a specialist ( and a blood test ) before i found out i have hsv2-- but only very mild they told me--isn't that like being sorta pregnant ?

  I find out later that if it's your first contact with herpes, its very easily spread to other parts of your body.

 i've never had hsv1-- now a few years later i'm rarely bothered by it anymore. I've never had any symptoms in or around the mouth since the first episode.

UM WRONG! You are wrong....Most viruses are NOT transmitted by parasite.

REDICULOUS!

Read this:

"You can become infected with genital herpes when the herpes simplex virus (HSV) enters the body through sexual or other direct contact with herpes sores.

Under a microscope, HSV- 1 and 2 are virtually identical, sharing approximately 50% of their DNA. Both types infect the body's mucosal surfaces, usually the mouth or genitals, and then establish latency in the nervous system. For both types, at least two-thirds of infected people have no symptoms, or symptoms too mild to notice. However, both types can recur and spread even when no symptoms are present.

The primary difference between the two viral types is in where they typically establish latency in the body- their "site of preference." HSV-1 usually establishes latency in the trigeminal ganglion, a collection of nerve cells near the ear. From there, it tends to recur on the lower lip or face. HSV-2 usually sets up residence in the sacral ganglion at the base of the spine. From there, it recurs in the genital area.

Even this difference is not absolute either type can reside in either or both parts of the body and infect oral and/or genital areas. Unfortunately, many people aren't aware of this, which contributes both to the spread of type 1 and to the misperception that the two types are fundamentally different.

"People don't understand that you can have type 1 genitally or orally, that the two types are essentially the same virus,' says Marshall Clover, manager of the National Herpes Hotline." One type is associated with stigma, the other is "'just a cold sore"- our society has a euphemism for it so we don't even have to acknowledge that it's herpes.

The reality? Some 22% of adult Americans from all backgrounds, income levels, and ethnic groups have HSV-2. Like HSV-1, type 2 is usually mild-so mild that two- thirds of infected people don't even know they have it. Type 2 rarely causes complications or spreads to other parts of the body. It is the most common cause of neonatal herpes, a rare but dangerous infection in newborns; however, type 1 causes up to one-third of neonatal infections.

...most people infected with HSV-1 in the genital area have few, if any, outbreaks after the initial episode, far fewer than is typical with either oral HSV-1 or genital HSV-2. While experts estimate that some 30% of genital herpes infections in the United States may be caused by HSV-1, only 2- 5% of recurring genital outbreaks are caused by HSV-1. Research conducted by Lawrence Corey, MD, and colleagues at the University of Washington in Seattle shows that genital HSV-2 recurs 10 times more often than genital HSV-1.

How Easily Spread?
As a number of readers have attested over the years, many people with genital herpes are at least as concerned about transmission-the likelihood of spreading the virus to a partner-as about their own health. On the other hand, few people with oral herpes, share this concern. Is this because one type is more contagious than the other?

The short answer is no. Both viral types are easily transmitted to their site of preference, and can also be spread to other sites. Both are most contagious during active outbreaks, but are often spread through viral shedding when there are no recognizable symptoms. According to Spruance, people with recurrent oral HSV-1 shed virus in their saliva about 5% of the time even when they show no symptoms. In the first year of infection, people with genital HSV-2 shed virus from the genital area about 6-10% of days when they show no symptoms, and less often over time. (Both of these figures reflect shedding as detected by viral culture.)

On a practical level, this means oral HSV-1 is often the most easily acquired herpes infection. Usually the first herpes simplex virus that people encounter, oral HSV-1, is typically spread simply by the kind of social kiss that a relative gives a child. Because children have no prior infection with any HSV type, they have no immune defense against the virus.

By the time they're teenagers or young adults, about 50% of Americans have HSV-1 antibodies in their blood. By the time they are over age 50, some 80-90% of Americans have HSV-1 antibodies.

By comparison, almost all HSV-2 is encountered after childhood, when people become sexually active. Those who have a prior infection with HSV-1 have an acquired immune response that lowers - though certainly doesn't eliminate-the risk of acquiring HSV-2.

"People think of oral herpes as the "good" herpes and genital herpes as the "bad" kind," says Glover of the National Herpes Hotline. "It's partly that they don't understand the similarities between HSV-1 and 2. But it's also that good and bad is how our culture views sex and our bodies."

The inescapable fact is that HSV-1 is usually spread through contact with infected lips, while HSV-2 usually spread through contact with infected genitals. From a social point of view, the problem is not the disease; it's how you got it.

Whether we like it or not, the social prejudice against genital herpes, no matter which virus causes it, is a reality. "People have more trouble explaining to a new partner that they have genital herpes, even if it's HSV- 1, than if they have a cold sore," says Glover. "Just saying the word "genital" is like an anvil that pulls the sentence down".

THANK YOU!!!  FINALLY someone who has well-informed, documented information to share with the public.  I reccommend to all who use this site as a means of scientific advice, PLEASE do not believe anything you hear unless it is backed up by a doctor.  I have a good friend who is a doctor that I am so thankful to get great advice from.  There are support lines with professionals that you can call, and you can also always call the family doctor/gynocologist.  Although many of us do not like to hear it, HSV1 and HSV2 are extremely easy to contract and it is incredibly unfortunate that the general public has a distorted (socially unacceptable) view on the disease.  Practicing safe sex and taking preventative medication are the two most reliable methods in ensuring the prevention of spreading the Herpes Virus.

When I was 13 I had a huge cold sore breakout all around my mouth. Over the years cold sores usually occured around the time of my periods. I am now 50 yrs old and was diagnosed with genital herpes 2 years ago.  When I was shocked by my diagnosis, as neither my husband or I had ever 'seen' other people during our 30 year marriage, my physician's reply question was, "Do you wash you hands BEFORE you change your tampons?" No, actually I didn't but it makes perfect sense. On a side note, about the same time I was diagnosed, I had frequent headaches and gastric distress. I decided to quit eating wheat and any gluten containing foods. The headaches and gastric distress went away within two days. Since then the only times I've had a herpes outbreak is when I accidentally ingest gluten.

I was told something similar by a blood bank representative but on further investigation I took it to mean that the antibody gets passed along through blood, not the virus itself since the virus lies dormant in nerves not blood cells. So someone who received blood from an infected person will have anitbodies that show up indicating a possible false positive -- however over time the antibodies will die off and the person will test negative.

hope this makes sense...

can someone help me.. im  a 16 years guy.. i have this ball of meat on my penis .. look like a big pimple and million of little tiny one look like ungrowth hair . I know pop it and it come out the white stuff just like pimples but it keep staying there .. is that mean i have hearpes or any virus like that ? i never had sex or anything.. those lil .. i got it from very long time ago but this big one just got it yesterday ..plz help