Oral Sex w/ Genital Herpes

if he wantd sum head from her will he still be able to get it

your an idiot. why would you say something like that? u r going to scare this poor girl into never having sex w/ ne one. i am 22 yrs old and living w/ it. i just started dating someone who does not have it. and i was also doing research. but i know better than to say " oh dont let him eat u or he'll get it on his face". come on get real. that was just stupid.

But is that girl right, can they get genital herpes in their face if the perform oral sex on you even if you don't have an outbreak, I'm so scare!!!!  I have been sex and oral sex with someone that doesn't have genital herpers I'm so scare to give it to him how can I tell him I'm infected?  I'm scare he'll stop seen me, and I can't affort the medication :-(

DO NOT HIDE IT FROM HIM!!!!  Put yourself in his shoes, would you want someone to hide that from you?  I have been living with this thing for about 12 years.  I am married now and my husband has been there since it has been a definite yes (got tested so many times it was ridiculous).  You need to tell this guy.  Who cares if he stops seeing you.  He wasn't there for you anyway if that's the case.  After you let him know, give him some time to register and found out if this is what he wants to do and where he wants to be.  If you have known this this whole time and did not tell him, he is going to be extra pissed.  That is very wrong.  That is how I got infected.  the person knew and didn't tell me, I was 16.  It hurt worst to know that there are people who are careless in the world like that than the actual infection.  And just because you have it, doesn't mean you have to tell every Tom, Dick and Harry.  That is your personal business.  let your male friend know that you want this to remain personal.  Tell him to think about it, if he tells everyone that you have it, everyone knows he was with you and it will come back around on him.

I think you have the right ideal and it sounds good to hear that there are people like you. Your story sounds just like mine. And i agree don't hide it tell him if he cares it will take a min. but at the end he will still be there.

i know how u feel i was in a really bad relationship he would beat me like no other and its been a year since i left him and now jus yesterday i found out i have herpes.... he was my first and last and come to find out he knew also.... im so sad cause i trusted him and he did me wrong but im slowly gettin things together and theres this guy who i been talkin to and i really like him but i think ima jus break it off comptetely cause i dont want him to think badly of him and u can tell he wants to move to the next level but i dont want to give to him but like u said everybody should know and if he really likes me he would understand right??

Hi i know how you feel, i have it also ok i take top precaution and i recently started dating some one and i forgot to put on a condom but we were in the heat of the moment and we just took off however i have not had a outbreak in 2month or more and i know you can still get it but there is a great chance she wont.Now i have told her and we are figuring a way to try and have sex and her not get it we want to work it out and make it happen its not life threatening but its not good also.Tell your mate and if he cares enough he will work things out get him tested and go from there if your sure you gave it to him while you had an outbreak than its a good idea you need to talk with your mate.

hey miss confused if u can prove he knew he had it and gave it to u you can press charges

I definately agree with this. It is your responsibility to let anyone you plan to be intimate with know that you have Herpes. I trusted someone and he played Russian Roulette with my body....no one should ever expose anyone to this horrid virus. It is your moral obligation. Just because I was not told does not make it right for me to pass it along another human being. I feel violated, almost like raped. I would love to expose this guy. Any ideas on what I can do. I want him to feel the humilation I have to endure.

You can't do dirt for dirt.  He will get his but stoopin gto his level is not the thing to do.  I feel the same way you did when I had to tell someone my situation but you will be surprised at how grown people can be.  If you don't feel safe to tell that person or have one doubt then DON'T.  Go with your gut and you know your gut ain't telling you to tell this man's business.  Be the grown up in the situation.  Take it to God he will handle that situation for you.

i have it and i have not had a outbreak in 6 months my fiancee does not but recently we started having unprotected sex to get pregnant is she at risk.

I was tested twice. Once was a no and the other one could not give me an answer. I didn't know that I was the only one that has had multiple tests and still not sure. I was glad to here that someone else had multiple tests.

umm you must be the idiot. because that can happen. you need to research a little bit better. you don't even need to be having sex if you have herpes unless your partner knows.....

i think you are all on crack! SEX IS BAD WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT duhh

Ok "sexnegus01" you can still get it even if you wear a condom.  Why are you on this page anyway?  Evidentally you had some concerns!  There is a thing called trust that most of these people thought they had with whoever and was put in a dangerous situation.  Yes, I agree you should "wrap it" but with this it doesn't matter.  Oh and by the way "sexnegus01" you might wanna get checked yourself cause one in every four people have herpes and don't even know it.  Look it up!

Im 18 years old and last year found out i have genital  herpes #2 from my boyfriend who had no idea he had it. my question that i really need answered is what is the percent i will give herpes to somone i sleep with for the first time?

i have a family member that had just recently contracted genital herpes from her friend that wiped his mouth and fingered her. everyone who knows him says he has herpes, he even told my boyfriend and a few others. also, his ex girlfriend broke up with him because she contracted herpes from him from unprotected sex. since my family member just got it, me and her are going to get tested today for HS1 & HS2. if you have genital herpes, do you have herpes of the mouth ? she was wondering if you can still perform oral sex if she only has genital herpes. lemme know asap, thanks.

What do you do with the tea tree oil and where do you purchase it, and in what form is it offered?

Australian Tea Tree Oil (Melaleuca Alternifolia) is sold at many locations including Wal-Mart! Look for 100% pure Australian oil produced by Spring Valley in the pharmacy with the natural herbal supplements. As it is liquid it comes it 2oz bottles, or at least the one at Wal-Mart by Spring Valley does.

Kim, Can it be transmitted during oral sex by the guy to the girl, through a cut in the area where oral sex is performed?

Yes, it certainly can...that's how I got it

Kim~Do you have oral herpes 1 and/or2?

YES, I HAVE IT IN MY MOUTH AND FOUND OUT THE HARD WAY AFTER I WAS TOLD I HAD MOUTH CANCER BY THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT-"IDIOTS" WENT TO THE ER AND THEY GAVE ME VALTREX. MY PARTNER NEVER TOLD ME THAT SHE HAD IT AND SHE HAD NO OUTBREAKS WHILE I WAS WITH HER.  NOW EVERYTIME I USE CHEWING TOBACCO I HAVE A SEVERE BREAKOUT IN MY MOUTH.

can herpes give you cancer?

please reply to horvath3@hotmail.com

incase i cant find this post again :D

Hi Kim,

 

When did you realize you had herpes in your mouth. I have been getting blisters on the side of my tongue but I can't tell the difference if its a cold sore or herpes.

A cold sore IS herpes.

 

They're not fever blisters, cold sores or whatever other cutesy name you want to give them... it's herpes simplex - probably type I if it's oral.

what if you went down on your partner when they were not having a break out and you had no open sores??

can you get herpes by performing oral sex when the carrier does not have  an outbreak and you have no open sores?

Thanks for the tea tree oil info it's nice to know of things that can help.

I 'M A GIRL and have just realized that i have genital herpes , even though i was told 5 years ago but didn t realize what it was until now 5 years later ! I haven t slept with anyone during that time for different reasons . I love getting oral sex and i m scared that i m now going to have to give it up Forever . IS IT STILL POSSIBLE FOR ME TO GET ORAL SEX ???

 

You don't have to give up getting oral sex!  I've had genital herpes for 15 years now. I'm married with 2 kids (since getting herpes) and I still get sex....without giving herpes to my husband.  Just learn your body and learn the signs and triggers to your outbreaks. If you get an outbreak or feel like you are getting one...stay away from sex!  email me if you need info on what to take when you are getting an outbreak (not prescribed meds).  I've found things that work!  Oh....tight pants and shaving your genital area can cause an outbreak, so be watchful of that! 

mlmcdermott@windstream.net

 

Hope this helps.

Melody....

Melody, thanks for the insight, very much appreciated! You are very right about your body and the triggers, what remedies do you know of to use during an outbreak that wouldn't involve medication ? I am very curious! 

Couple of things....when having/or about to have an outbreak...don't eat: popcorn, chocolate, oatmeal, raisins, (to name a few)...they all have an amino acid that feeds the herpes virus.  Another amino acid, L-Lysine (or just Lysine) is great to help control or prevent an outbreak.  You can take up to 3,000mg daily when having an outbreak.  Vit. C is good to take when having one/or about to, along with the L-Lysine. I use Solaray brand and it have Vit. C and Zinc in it. My dad has oral herpes and he followed my advice and it helps him, too. The meds are too expensive. You can find Lysine ointment to put on the outbreaks. It's oily, but it will dry them up.  Use a hairdryer "there" to help dry the sores up, too.  Not too close though...you don't want to burn!  I can beat an outbreak if I take Lysine as soon as I recognize an outbreak.  There are other herbs you can take that are antiviral (VSC is one) that work great...and quickly.  The lysine can be taken for maintenance purposes if your outbreaks are not undercontrol.  You don't have to completely give up any sex...just abstain when you feel an outbreak...or give him a night that just all about him!   Be careful...and have fun...hope this info helps. Let me know if you need any more info.

 

hi ,what if both of us have genital herpes can we have unprotected sex . intercourse and orally? thanx

becareful...you don't want herpes (cold sores) on your mouth area!!  I would think it's up to the two of you on whether or not you use protection. When I was dating my husband, we didn't use condoms and he's still virus-free.  He gets cold-sores, so I stay away from his kisses when he's broke out!  (and no, he didn't get cold sores from my genital herpes...he had them before me!)  Herpes is very prevalent...a lot more than people realize. My dr. says that 25% of people have it and some don't know it. 

Hi there.  My husband and I both have genital herpes, 10 years now, and are sexually active unprotected and have oral sex too.  I have been the only one to get a "cold sore" on my mouth, and it's usually brought on by severe stress.  Usually my lower back hurts the day or two before I have an outbreak.  The best thing you can do is read up about everything as much as possible, the more you know the easier it is to prevent spreading to eachother or anyone else.  I know it's embarrassing, and you're not sure how to tell anyone about it, but honestly it isn't that uncommon.  You'd be surprised just how many people have it.  Statistics say 1 out of 4 have it.  Its easier, so to speak, if you both have it because then you don't have to worry about spreading it as much... if you know what I mean. ;) It's hard to tell a new partner about it, and very cruel to not tell them at all.  Best of luck!

Hi,

  I'm going into a new relationship, she has genital herpes, with no outbreaks for ten years. I truly love this woman and want to explore all avenues of sex...mostly oral. My mind and heart are being ripped apart. We openly discuss this, my question is. What are the risks of me contacting oral herpes? is it spread by kissing? After being widowed 4 years ago, this I feel is my only chance at a Loving and lasting relationship.

If she is intune to her body, then you are pretty safe...no guarantees of course. There are times when she might have an unannounced outbreak, but after no outbreaks for 10 years, it seems hers is under control.

Correction...it is 4 out of 5 that have herpes type 2 and 20 % of them don't know it. I just saw my gyne today to talk about it. Almost everyone has Herpes 1 and of course some don't know it. She said you are more likely to get Herpes type 2 if you have Herpes 1. If you get tested then you will know more about your risks and status and thus protect yourself and others better. It is very important to know that because your partner doesn't have any std's doesnt mean you are clean. You could have something your partner doesnt.

 you seem to have the most experience and time dealing with this.. I've had genital herpes since i was 18 for almost 2 years now but not my ob-gyn or any other doctor tell me about my positive results until recently this winter.( which is another story) but i'm in love love with  one of my best friends and i want to be with him .. and i can't tell him..

however i need to know desperatly just how contagious hsv is if i received oral sex a week and a half before my breakout i have now... i wasn't even aware i was about to break out soon..  and i Love him so much i don't want to risk him catching it ... but like someone else on hear wrote... you can still have viral shedding without knowing..

im completely horrified by my actions .. Please tell me somthing good..

i'm a nervous wreck!

I wouldn't think that you could have passed it on to him, it having been over a week between the time of unprotected sex and your outbreak.  I don't know much about viral shedding, but I have had this for 15 years and haven't passed it on to my husband of 9 years.  Are you aware of an impending outbreak?  Most of the time, I do have signs my body gives me that I am about to have an outbreak (ususally within 1 day of the 1st symptoms). 

Hey .. my questions for you.. i have only had two outbreaks in my entire life.. within the past year..and found out a couple months ago w/ the second..  what signs does your body give you before you are gonna break out?!  i have no idea what the signs would be or is it different fofr each person?!

I am not sure if the signs of an outbreak vary from person to person. I have only begun to speak with others about herpes since logging on to this site a few weeks ago, so I'm hoping others will teach me some things that I don't know yet about the virus.

 

My signs of an outbreak are pain (dull at first) down the back of my left leg. Over the course of the day the pain intensity increases to the point where it is painful to sit down. The pain continues to spread down the leg and across the pelvic floor (genital area). A sore will appear within 24hours of the beginning of the pain. Most of the time, I can dose up on Lysine and "beat" the outbreak. Not all of my outbreaks come with that warning. I had those symptoms for a few days just this past week, but no outbreak ever presented itself. I didn't take the lysine either.  Some outbreaks are caused by shaving the genital area and then wearing a thong or tight pants...friction. Some outbreaks are caused from the friction from sex (buy lube to keep by the bed).  Some outbreaks are caused by stress or even hormone flucuation during your period. I used to get an outbreak after every period. Outbreaks do tend to lessen in frequency and duration and severity over time.  Research (or email me) about foods to avoid when having an outbreak. These are not foods that you can never eat again, just stay away from them during an outbreak as they tend to feed the virus.  I hope this helps.

I just recently got diagnosed that i have HSV2 and im so hurt i contracted it threw my husband that i only had sex with we been married for four years, and he has been unfaithful 7x and i stayed so i feel punished by god, However like some have said i never had an outbreak so i dont know when to protect myself with certain foods or herbs should i just take multivitamins daily and st Jhonswart, garlic, echinacia goldenseal. Just for prevention and should i become vegetarian and just cut out all starch, Plus i also have a son who likes to kiss me in the face and like's to drink off me and he reguarly ask me to pop his pimples im so scared of passing this to my son  We now have seperate towels and wash cloths he use the White ones only one for face one for body, i use the pink i threw away all soap and only use bath gel and after every use of the toilet wipe the toilet with bleach wipes and i always washing my hands with antibacterial soap is this the best way to live with this disease?

Hi Melody, I'm curious as to what kind of protection you use when you make love to your husband. Do you guys always wear condoms? After fifteen years, he still doesn't have the disease? I have heard that is it harder, (not impossible) for your partner to contract the virus from oral sex. How do you "get around" these things? Can you suggest the best way to tell my partner that I have the disease? I obtained it when my ex went out and cheated on me. Thanks for your help!

I had had the virus for 4+ years when I began dating my now husband, so I had a lot of information to share with him and I'd gotten the virus (not disease) under control.  MY outbreaks were not often and they were predictable...they came with warning signs that I'd learned to recognize from my body.  We did not use condoms.  You can get Herpes 2 on the mouth area from oral sex with an active (outbreak) partner.  You can get Herpes 1 in the genital area from a partner giving you oral with a cold sore on their mouth area.  Either one is risky if an outbreak is apparant.  Tell your bf straight up about the virus and together you can learn more about how to protect yourselves from initial infection or cross contaminating (HSV 1 in genital; HSV 2 on mouth).   Email me if you have any other question. mlmcdermott@windstream.net

Hi, i've never done this before. But I am in search of some answers. I have read all the chats you guys have, I have family members in the same situation as you, been married for a long time and has yet to spread it. Which is wonderful!

 

My question to you since you seem most knowledgeable about the subj. but any help would be wonderful from the rest of the group.

 

* have herpes, and was wondering I don't have it in my mouth, but I hear its in your blood stream, so can I give my boyfriend herpes if I orally please him?

Herpes Is NOT a virus of the bloodstream.  So, you can give your bf a bj if you do not have oral herpes (HSV type 1...cold sores).  HSV type 2 is genital herpes. You can cross contaminate the areas and have HSV 1 in genital area and HSV 2 in the mouth area.  Herpes is in the nerve endings in the skin ....lesions tend to reoccur at the same spot as initial contact with the fluid from the infected partner's lesions/sores/outbreak.  Sores/outbreaks can occur in the genital and buttocks area with HSV 2. 

Thank you so so much! I found your knowledge on the subject very enlightening!

Appreciate it!

hi,

i was recently diagnosed with gh as of june 23, 2009 i am currently dating someone who ive been with for 7 months he gets type 1 but has never had a fever blister while we have been together....is it possible that i contracted type 2 from him giving me oral sex even though he never had a visible fever blister?....also we have been having unprotected sex and he had a blood test done the day after i found out i was possitive and he doesnt have it....i never cheated on him maybe he could be a carrier? i am just very upset and find it hard to believe that it could be from the ex whom i dated for 4 years i never had an outbreak until now 9 months after i broke up with the ex! i am quite depressed and cry everyday wondering if my bf will be able to stay with me or if he cant handle this....we need info and my doctors nurse called and told me so i would have to schedule an appointment just to talk to the doctor.....thanks

It might be a good idea for you to talk to your ex boyfriend, and find out if he has it.  Even though you didn't have an outbreak while you were with him, I have read that it can be "dormant" for a long period of time (with no outbreaks).  So it is possible that you've had it for a long time, but the symtoms are only surfacing now. 

 

Ask your doctor for more information about this, and explain the situation to your current boyfriend.  You haven't done anything wrong, so he should be understanding. 

 

Hope that helps.

so u seem very comfortable about the virus & dealing w/ it--i admire tht. i recently-2days 2b exact, found out i had genitalherpes after seeing a doc. i would like to know when can a female receive oral sex frm her partner w/o spreading the virus to his mouth? i wnt 2b as safe as possible if im going to b sexually active at all, b/c right now im still a little devasted by all of this, & i didnt c any signs of the virus until a wk b4 i wnt to the doc--it literally came out of nowhere--i havent even been sexually active these lst 2mnths-i feel like i dnt really wnt 2hv sex anymore, but i know thats b/c of howi feel right now. im only 27--any words to help would be appreciated-thnks

Melody i am 22 years old i just found out in feb of 2009 that i had GH 2 i tried to email you but i cant seem to get it sent out if you can email me at Debbie_200786@yahoo.com  between the  debbie an 2007 thats an underscore i would like to kno more about it i have just started dating this guy which he dont have it ive told him about it n i do not want to give it to him im so scared that he will please email me n tell me more aobut it 

 

 

                                                        Thanks debbie

Hi my name is Anthony from philadelphia, I got a question for you, My girl still doesn't know i have herpes and she want to give me oral sex but I wouldn't let her, If the sores go away and she gives me oral sex, can she still get infected even thou the sores are gone? please let me know

If the lesions/sores are completely gone...no visible sign of them, then she should be safe....but....you owe it to her to be honest. she has the right to chose the risk that she is taking with her health.  You have to be responsible and arm her with the knowledge and power to make an informed decision. Remember back to when you were diagnosised......how did you feel???  betrayed by a partner that didn't tell you about the virus????? If you are having sex with her then hopfully you have feelings for her in your heart and not just in you groin, so treat her with care and respect and tell her.

Hi. I got diagnosed with HSV (I believe it is Type 2) just over two years ago. I only had the original outbreak and I've never had any since. I know that outbreaks tend to decrease over time.... do you think my chances of having another are very high? I also decided to shave my "area" again today after not having done it since I was diagnosed with it. I used sensitive shaving cream, a new razor and put Vitamin E/Aloe Vera oil on after wards.... will shaving increase my risk of an outbreak. Thanks so much!

You will always have a chance of having an outbreak.  I have them few and far between now, but sometimes I have one out of the blue with no symptoms.  Shaving is okay, just don't wear tight pants the day of or after. Friction can cause an outbreak, even friction from sex (keep lube on hand).  I use Coochy Rash Free Shaving Lotion. I buy it online from CheapLubes.com (funny names, I know). It's the cheapest place I've found it. I buy the 16oz pump bottle for $20 (that's with shipping) and it lasts for almost a year!!  I hope this helps....keep doing what you're doing to keep the outbreaks away!!!

Anthony...Please show your girlfriend that you love, respect, and care for her, and tell her.  Give her the opportunity to make an educated choice, regarding the risks she wants to take with her health.  My "ex" knew he had HSV1 AND HSV2, and failed to tell me (until after we'd broken up)...he also failed to take his Valtrex religiously, putting me at double risk.  2 weeks after we broke up, I learned that I was HSV2+...the jerk gave me genital herpes, but never gave me the opportunity to choose whether or not I wanted to risk exposure, in order to be sexually intimate with him.

 

Don't be another one like him....love your girl enough to give her the information she needs, in order to keep herself protected.

the main reason why people dont tell their partner is because there is a 80 % chanse that person will not want to be with them wether with protection or not.after all not everyone we hook up with is the right one especialy these days were is all about loving people with our groins instead of our hearts .thats why i think this virus has such a high success rate , after all in the end we humans in nature are selfish beings wether we accept it or not.(some more than others)thats were altruism comes into play and depending on how good your parents raised us as well as peers we grew up with is how we turn out to be at the end and take the choise to think about yourself and infect that person .people only understand the pain and suffering , physicaly as well as phycologicaly hsv gives you until they have it in them and now they are in that persons shoes.i personaly had it for 4 years now, had multiple partners , never told tem a thing cause of shame and fear they will look at me like im some type of monster , not a hapy feeling but even though i never tell them i take care of them by having safe sex and not letting women go down on me , its tough to give that up but i belive its harder to live with the though you infected another person cause of selfish reasons.so in the end the choise is up to you.

I think that your reasons for not giving ANY partner whether a fling or a serious one is selfish and arrogant.  EVERYONE has the right to choose whether or not THEY WANT TO PUT THEMSELVES AT RISK. That is not a decision that others have the right to make for them.

 

Not going down on you or practicing safe sex isn't a guarantee of no infection. 

 

If someone rejects you for having this disease then they are not worth you having. Getting to know someone first before just screwing them gives your partners a chance to decide if they like you or trust you enough to keep them safe and that you are knowledgable enough about HSV to keep them safe.

 

Your fear of rejection is overshadowing the fact that you are worthy of someone that loves you for you...all of you.

 

I told my husband after we'd been dating for 2 weeks.  He trusted me because I was very knowledgable and willing to let him speak to a medical professional about HSV if he even thought of us going any further. We then still did not have sex for 2 more months. We got to know each other and to have a deep friendship first.

 

Since then, my husband has died (feb. 13th of this year).  If I were to start dating again, I would still inform them early in the relationship of the virus.

good question .and by the way is not fear i have is proven fact , i did told me first couple of partners and all i got was rejection an a big disgust look on their face , so that dint work for me as well as ur husband (may he rest in peace and im sorry for your loss.) it also depends on your age im on my 20's i live in a city of materialistic and selfish people , i wont deny it either i am selfish myself in a way .and i understand why people looked at me with disgust once i told them , imagine that your new boyfriend tells you ..oh yeah by the way i have aids , that will pretty mush make you not want to be with that person .and yes my practices of sex may not be the safest but im doing th best to tried not to spread this poison i have in me , i wish i could find some one that will take me for who i am but in reality it wont happen any time soon , not making excuses here , just tryin to cope with this new life style i got , so thats my point of view on things hope i dint ofend you .

I was 22 when I was diagnosed. We do not have poison in us. It is not a life threatening virus, just life-altering.  I got a sense of sadness and disgust with your own self. I did too when I was first diagnosed. I felt dirty and trashy. Truth is there are a lot more people in this world that have genital herpes, and they aren't even aware of it. Realize, too, that genital herpes is the same strain of oral herpes, just in a different area. Each can be in either area..yes, some people have HSV2 in their mouth area. HSV1 are the cold sores...herpes!!!  And those with nasty looking cold sores are not thought of as dirty and trashy.

 

Thank you for the kind words about my husband. I was 28 and he was 35, so you have a point about age making a difference. Maturity is really what makes a difference in how guys respond to us. I am nervous too about eventually dating again because of the high risks of STDs now and the fact that I will have to tell him that I have herpes.

 

Gather all the information that you can about this virus. Knowledge is Power. Get control over this virus, so that it does not control you.

 

Email me if you want to. I would like to keep in touch.  mlmcdermott@windstream.net

 

~Melody~

melody wassup im 18 and i believe i contracted gh from a girl by either vaginal or oral sex and felt stupid after for not using protection and didnt know how i would approach a female in telling them i have gh since im handsome this hard it would be nice if we could chat and see if we can be friends

We can be friends. Have you been diagnosed with herpes or do you just suspect that you have it? A bloodtest is needed for proper diagnosis. I am glad that you are handsome but that doesn't mean you cannot tell any future partners. The best and worst looking people can have herpes. cold sores are herpes, too and look how many handsome people have it.

also, about how we become who we are...we all have a choice on whether or not to become a product of our environment. That means that we make our own choices about how we live and our own values and morals. How we turn out is up to us when we reach adulthood. Yes, we can take parts of the influence of others, but in the big picture we make us what we are.

a few weeks bak i gave a guy oral sex.now 3 weeks later i have little fine red bumps they aren't together..they were swollen n they didn't hurt..they don't itch...i am not sure if i have herpes or not but what ever i have come across on the net it looks like i do...only way to do know for sure is to get tested...could i have passed it on 2 him? if so can i perform oral sex wen i don't have outbreaks? is it ok to kiss wen i don't have these on my upper lip? plz help n reply really soon cause i am so unsure about myself at this point in time...will i have to give up sex? ..i only have signs of it on my mouth..never below....can someone help me plz

You need to go get tested just to be sure. If you didn't have the bumps when you gave him a bj, then he should be safe since there was 3 weeks between doing it and getting the bumps. The bumps could be an allergic reaction to something and not herpes at all.  A blood/serum test is the only conclusive way to be diagnosed properly. 

Thanks Girl I've had genital herpes for 8 years have one child and continue to get oral sex and regular sex! You are absolutely right when you have herpes you must really learn and listen to your body! Every tingle, every pain in your thigh every itch don't assume it's nothing assume you are getting an outbreak.  Im not saying be OCD about it but don't assume it's nothing especially if you are in a relationship. Take your valtex or whatever antiviral med you are prescribed when you start to feel something down there.  I was with my son's father for 6 years and never passed it on to him. 

Melody, what are the best products on the market for an outbreak, and to prevent an outbreak. What do you think of DMSO ?

What is DMSO? I take Lysine capsules for treatment and prevention. I do not currently take it for prevention. 500mg daily for maintenence, up to 3,000 for treatment. Get it at a herb shop or www.puritan.com There prices and sales are wonderful. Get lysince with vitamins c & e (you may have to get that at an herb shop). Or take vitamins c & e separate from the lysine.

I have recently found out I have gh.  To my knowledge I have never had an outbreak. I have read symptoms and signs and even pictures. I have been to the Dr. several times thinking I may be having one but each time is negative. My worries is that I am seeing someone (he is aware of situation) and eventually I want to be intimate but how will I know if I am or not having or about to have an outbreak... Do you take the Lysine on a daily basis to prevent? If so, how much? I keep seeing where people are saying the meds are expensive. How expensive? Please give any advise you can. I am struggling with this. THANKS!!

I purchased aeura & aviralex formely choraphor & it works great!

Hi, can u tell me of the meds u found to be helpful? And can u tell me if u do oral plain or with a pertected shield? I hope i am not crossing the line i will like to know. I have been seeing someone that knows i have herpes. I want him to do me but don't want him to get it being he don't have it. Can u email me at jordannd2@yahoo.com Thanks hopeful

I cant seem to e-mail you about what you use instead of meds for this problem.  CAn you give me the name of what it is and also how you avoided transmitting this to your husband, Not to be personal would like to know if oral sex is possible? thanks so much

You're so stupid, you cannot get an outbreak from tight jeans or shaving the area. The only times you will have an outbreak are when your immune system gets low. So keep your immune system built up with herbs and vitamins and you will never have an outbreak. I've had genital herpes now for 9 years and haven't had an outbreak in over 7 years.

I've had HSV for 17+ years. I've had 2x as much experience with the virus as you have. Your comment that I am stupid shows just how compassionate you are to others when they have different information than you do. You can still have outbreaks no matter how good your immune system is built up. If building up our immune system keeps us healthy, then why do people get cold VIRUSES and Flu VIRUSES when they take vitamins and herbs?????  You must be a very lucky person to stay so healthy. I hope you continue to stay healthy and outbreak free.

 

Be Smart....Friction from sex (insufficient lubrication), tight pants, shaving causing the skin to become sensitive and irritated and CAN cause an outbreak....do your research before condemning someone else's findings.

I recently found out i have it. how i got it. my boyfriend for the last seven years went outside and had sex with someone that had it and came back and gave it to me.  i can't stop thinkin about it and i too enjoyed having oral sex. i am afraid that i will give it to my further partner. i am hurtin so bad. it stills make me cry just thinkin about it. i dont know how to deal with this. how do i tell a new partner about this. i wouldnt blame him to stop dealing with me eveetually. i feel like my life is ruined

 

Been there hun, same thing happened to me, except the doctor who tested my partner intentionally forgot to test him for HSV.  He (the doctor) happened to be the grandfather to my guy's ex, who knew that his granddaughter had the virus.  So, in order to protect her reputation, he didn't perform that part of the STD test on him, as he already knew she had genital herpes.  He and I are still together to this day, but I felt voilated and that it ruined my life as well.  So, I am so sorry to hear that, but in the same it's nice to know I am not alone.....and neither are you!  What's even worse, is we were going to file suit against him, but he passed away.  Keep your chin up!

Yes, you CAN and WILL give him oral herpies!  Even if you do not have any noticable sores, you could still have some viral shedding.  I am a male paraplegic and I love to give oral sex.  The problem is that I just got herpies in my mouth from by giving oral sex to a nice upscale banker gal.  Now, I have to worry about giving it to other partners doing the only part of sex that I can ever enjoy anymore?!  Screw that!

 

So NO!! DON"T LET ANYONE GIVE YOUR ORAL SEX AND USE CONDOMS TOO!!!

Hello Melanie, I am 17yrs old and I recently found out that I have hsv 2. I feel disgusted with myself because I am not the typical girl who gets around. Last year I slept with 3 guys, the first one was a guy that I was with for 5 yrs, he gave me hpv and hsv. The 2nd guy gave me chlymadia and trichomonas (who lied that he was a virgin). Now recently I just found out that I had all these at once,but not hsv 2, until months later after being examined by a physican and a blood test..The horrible part about this all is that the  3rd guy, that I am with now has received everything that I had and have... I dont know if he has hsv but what if he doesnt and leaves me???????? I feel awful, stressed, depressed,sad, mad, and like my world has ended...He is older than me and yet he has accepted all this.... I dont know how to move on and deal with everyday life with what I have and have done...What if he leaves me all alone.......Please give me some answers I have noone else.....

I am sorry that I have not contacted you before now. My husband died suddenly 2-13 of this year. If your questions have not been answered by others, I am here now to help you.

 

Sincerely,

Melody

I HOPE YOUR RIGHT.I HAVE TO GIRLS AND IT WILL BE VERY SAD IF I GET THIS VIRUS.

I REALLY LOVE HIM AND HE HAD THIS BEFORE I CAME ALONG AND I WANT TO HELP HIM.

BY THE WAY,HE USE THESE PILLS CALLED VALTREX,BUT HE DOES NOT HAVE INSURANCE AND THE PRICE IS $300. FOR 30PILLS. DO YOU KNOW ANY WAY I CAN FIND THIS VELTREX CHEAPER

http://www.ehealthpharmacy.com/drugs.asp?letter=V if you can't click this link copy and paste they have valtrex $ 87.00 for thirty pills....it's the generic brand but it works just as well. GOOD LUCK.....Just be careful and you'll be fine.

You can use an alternative drug called acyclovir. Its generic and much cheaper. It doesn't get the publicity of valtrex because its not backed by a pharmaceutical company trying to make money off it but its a very similar drug. I take it and have not had any outbreaks on it.

hello i just found out about 6 months ago that i have herpes 2 and i dont have insurance and i take two pills a day called  acyclovir and its a generic i had no problems with it so far and i pay $10 for 3 months worth so definitely check it out i hope its a good help it takes alot of encouragement to get on a internet and say things but we need to be strong and fight this is real life its not a game my partner didnt tell me he had it and he knew and its a shame he is actually giving it to other girls to its sad and really ridiculous i am learning to deal with it i actually told my ex boy friend i have it and we are currently talking about getting back together well we are together now he understood and telling him went well i hope i stay with him for a long time i need the support and when u feel its right u tell them its important to tell ur partner i pat everyone on the back for being on this site we need to be here for each other its a tough road out there but it could be worst but everyone keep their heads up high and take care

Hey, you're comment really helped. Is it really true? It's hard to find credable sources on the internet. 

 

I just got diagnosed, and I've always been careful, always used a condom, etc. So since I have no clue how I contracted it (he wasnt having an outbreak) I am really worried about passing it on. Oral sex is okay? 

 

What are your secrets? How, in 22 years have you not passed it on? Everyone says to be careful and use "safe sex", but thats how i contracted this in the first place. 

 

Any information is greatly appreciated.  

thank you for your imput  i have not had any outbreak for almost 2 years  i have been dianosed with genital herpes and ive been taking valtrex everyday.  i recently had oral sex with a new partner and feel ashamed that i didnt fore warn him of my condition.  i am going to tell him if i get the nerve before we have sex.  my question is do you think he is at risk now since we had the oral sex already and its been 2yrs since my outbreak?   I really dont know if he has herpes either.  i just cant believe how irresponsible ive been.  Im falling in love with this guy and i would hate to lose him but i just cant bring up this subject to him  please help me find the words.  i feel i should not have been shedding and hes probably ok but god the guilt is killing me

thank you for your imput  i have not had any outbreak for almost 2 years  i have been dianosed with genital herpes and ive been taking valtrex everyday.  i recently had oral sex with a new partner and feel ashamed that i didnt fore warn him of my condition.  i am going to tell him if i get the nerve before we have sex.  my question is do you think he is at risk now since we had the oral sex already and its been 2yrs since my outbreak?   I really dont know if he has herpes either.  i just cant believe how irresponsible ive been.  Im falling in love with this guy and i would hate to lose him but i just cant bring up this subject to him  please help me find the words.  i feel i should not have been shedding and hes probably ok but god the guilt is killing me

Maybe the question was not asked elegantly, but I do believe it is still a valid question.

humm.. yes i would have to say 99% if you drink his sperm at any given time you would get herpes.

It's amazing how people will give advice with either opinions or just using their own experiences as if that was going to be true for everybody.

 

Sperm does not contain the virus.

 

You can get and give herpes even with no symptoms.  All you can try to do is reduce the risk.

 

Try not to just find the advice you like best, and believe in that.  Especially if you putting other people's health at risk.

 

Try not to give advice without knowiing more than just your personal experiences.

hey can you get herpes on your genitals if you give oral ?

You cannot get Herpes from drinking sperm. If your partneris infected with a sore on his penis that is where you will get it from. Not from his sperm. Hope this was helpful

Use extreme caution, but NO, just because you have genital herpes does not mean you have it orally. This was a great comfort to me - I have genital herpes, but only genital herpes. However, you need to be CAREFUL - it CAN spread to any mucous membrane, including your nose, eyes, ears, and mouth, causing blindness, etc. Take great care in washing your hands after using the bathroom, and when having sexual contact (for both partners). I was 20 when I got herpes from my boyfriend at the time. I never got over the emotional scarring, but I learned that people who truely love you will take you as you are. And I have found love since. Through 3 seperate relationships, each has loved me, and none ever were infected. Its not a guarantee, but infection can be managed as much as possible. I am now 26. I didn't think I could get through this. I did. I am. You will to.

Only if the infected person has herpes in there mouth, there are different kinds of herpes!

 

Can I get herpes if my girlfriend has genital herpes and she performs oral sex on me?  As far as I can tell, she has no symptoms and does not have oral herpes.

If she has genital then she would only have herpes in the genital area, find out if she has HSV-1 or HSV-2, my ex-boyfriend only had HSV-1 which is cold sores or blisters in your mouth, he gave me HSV-1 through oral sex, so I have genital HSV-1, since contracting this a couple of years ago I have only had 1 minor breakout, barely anything and I have not had anything on or in my mouth, if you are concerned just check w/ your doctor, hope this helps

no he can't. as long as he doesnt have any physical outbreaks around or inside of his mouth then you will be fine. make sure you ask him though is he has the HSV2 on his genitals or his mouth.

always use protection when you are having sex with him whether he has an outbreak on his genitals or not. it is important to avoid sex while an outbreak is apparent to reduce or eliminate your chances of contracting it.

you need to ask him where he has had the virus first though. if it was on his mouth then you maybe be at risk of contracting it.

 

When I was diagnosed w/ HSV-1, I had a little sore by my rear end that they swabbed and took a sample to test and HSV-1 came back as my diagnosis, they should be able to do a blood test as well, I have never had (knock on wood) in the past 3 years since I was told a major break out, I had the initial and it was a small sore and then last spring I had another small sore and took Valtrex and it went away. The sores looked like nothing and I have never felt sick or had flu like symptons, I think people have a very warped perception what genital herpes is, since I was diagnosed I have done massive research online and with my gynecologist and realized that this is not the nightmare that most think it is, it is not even life threatening. Yes, you can still have children this has nothing to do w/ your reproduction, I would just get to the bottom of what you have and go from there, good luck and you will be fine!

Hey, I have the same symptoms too, fine bumps close together that itch bad, but i'm not sure if it's herpes... As well I think it is.... if you were tested can you tell me if you were positve? and if so, what type?

I just got genital orally and it sucks.  I took lots of herbs and vitamins and kept it pretty well supressed, only a little sore inside my lip.  My whole mouth burns though and wants to break out.  I got the meds from the dr and took those today.  It sucks.  I had sex with my partner for 2 years who has type 2 genital....I never got it.  we had unprotected sex and oral....I got it now.  My immune system was down.  I would not have unprotected oral sex with anyone with type 2 even if they don't have outbreaks.  I'm still trying to understand what this means for my future.  Don't want to have the virus around my kids.  ugg feel dirty and only had 2 partners.  I just didn't worry anymore becuase it had been so long.  Now I"m quite sure I have it.  to control an outbreak take high doses of vit.  c every 3 hours, drink tons, don't smoke, take a garlic immunity formula, l-lysine, raw apple cider vinegar.  This all kept it down.  when I got lazyt and sore broke out.  its my first break out.  They are supposed to be more intense, so these treatments would work wonders for established herpers.  I'm going to continue with garlic, vit c, and l lysine daily to keep from future outbreaks.  I would like to know others experience with oral type 2.  Oh God!!!!

Hi,

 

I have just been dianosed with HSV-2. Im not sure how to deal with it. I got it from my ex boyfriend. I havnt even been with him. I havnt seen him in 4 months but I guess it can take that long. I am not sure how to deal with this. What are the things I should be doing? Is it better to take valtrex daily rather then just taking it during an outbreak?

 

I just started talking to someone. I realize I have to tell this person that I have it but how. I mean how do you tell someone you have it and what r the chances of him reakky staying around. Can anyone tell me how to tell someone you have it?

I have had hsv 2 for at least 15 years.  Before we got married, my husband (then boyfriend) told me he had it.  I was scared about it and spoke to my doctor about it... he said that I would be fine as long as I did not have sex w/ him during an outbreak.  WRONG!!! That was very bad advice and completely undocumented based on the tons of research out there regarding viral shedding.  However, I trusted that bad advice and ended up catching it several years later after we got married.  I was so devastated and shamed... I did not deal with it well.  I ended up having 3 beautiful children and chose C-sections just to be sure they would be fine. 

 

Fast forward 20 years... now divorced.  I didn't think I would be able to have a relationship b/c I didn't want to risk putting someone else through what I had been through.  Surprising though, the first guy that I began to date was not horrified at all when I told him (I did this in an email before we got serious...b/c I wanted him to be able to "opt out" in case he did not feel comfortable with the herpes issue.  I also did not want both of us to be so deeply emotionally involved that it would be even more painful to deal with.)  He ended up telling me that he had it as well...and was wondering how he would tell me!  We had a very satisfying relationship and are still very good friends.

 

After that I assumed that I wouldn't be intimantly involved w/ anyone again b/c of the herpes.  I was surprised again after I started seeing someone and things were starting to click.  Again, I sent an email and explained what had happened to me.  I told him that I wouldn't hold anything against him if he did not want to continue the relationship but that it was important to me to be completely honest from the very beginning.  Amazingly, he emailed back that he too, had it.

 

So, it is ALWAYS best to be completely honest.  I was horrified when I first learned I had it.  I would NEVER want to put someone else through what I went through.  If you loose the person because they don't want to risk getting herpes, you WILL get over it with time.  It does not necessarily mean they are shallow or bad, it just means they don't want herpes.  Period.  If I had the chance not to have it...well, I would take that too.  You will eventually find someone who you can be honest and intimant with...and they will admire your bravery and honesty...and your relationship will be stronger and deeper as a result.

 

At least 1 in 5 have hsv2... and at least 70% of those do not even know they have it.  Before you are intimant with anyone you should both be tested for a panel of std's...even if you are using protection.  You should continue to use protection for up to a year and then get re-tested since some diseases (like HIV) can take that long to show up as positive.  Also, condoms do not provide protection against HPV...and there are over 100 strains of HPV...and it is EXTREMELY common...google it.  Condoms do not protect you against all std's!!!!  Know what you are deling with!!  Do your research on medically sound internet sites or books...don't just believe what anyone tells you.  Take charge and responsibility for your life.

 

I know it feels like your world is ending, and that you are an outcast...but this is so not true.  This is an issue that can be managed.  I have had great results w/ Acyclovir (2 times a day) which is very reasonably priced... and Walgreens even has it on their special plan for a 3 month supply for $15. I still go through difficult times emotionally, but now I can get through them easier and discipline my mind to think on what is real now and what I have control over...not replay emotional baggage and anger.  You only have today... right now.

 

Accept and love yourself...do what is right because you are valuable and worth great things. It is the first step to beginning to heal and truely love others.

 

 

 

 

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE A COMMENT ON THE TRANSFERRING OF STD'S EVEN WHEN USING A CONDOM.  10% OF VIRAL MATTER PASSES THROUGH A CONDOM, AND PEOPLE DON'T GET THAT, THEY THINK THEY ARE SAFE.  I KNOW THIS BECAUSE WE WERE INVOLVED WITH A REASEARCH COMPANY FOR AIDS.  WHEN YOU LOOK UNDER A MICROSCOPE YOU CAN SEE THE OPENINGS IN THE CONDOM MATERIAL, AND SOME VIRUSES ARE SMALL ENOUGH TO PASS THROUGH.  SCARRY.  NOT TO MENTION THE CHANCE YOU TAKE WITH DEFECTIVE CONDOMS.  SO THANKS FOR BRINGING UP THE FACT THAT CONDOMS DO NOT NECESSARILY PROTECT YOU FROM DISEASES.

i learned that i had GH about year ago, i got it from the first guy i ever slept with. i am only 19 now and still have not slept with anyone else, everytime i get intimate with someone i break it off before it goes too far because im terrified to tell them. when i think about i feel sick and ashamed...does that feeling ever start to go away? i want to tell them but the words never come out, and i wouldnt know how to phrase it in an email. i just feel like i was robbed of having a good sexual life because i got it from my first time and at such a young age.

I know exactly how you feel.... I was raped more than once when I was 14..... I am 25 now and always have felt that i was robbed of an exciting sex life. My b/f now has unprotected sex with me but will not do oral period. Although I havent had an outbreak in about 8 years I was robbed of my innocence and still feel disgusted about myself to this day.... You have your good days and your bad days, but you just learn to deal with it....you dont really have a choice !! By tha way my b/f has not gotten it and we have been together for 3 years now.