I JUST RECENTLY GOT DIAGNOSED AND IVE BEEN DOING MY RESERCH TO BETTER UNDERSTAND HERPES.AND IF U HAVE GENITAL HERPES AND U R HAVING AND OUTBREAK EVEN USEING A CONDOM MAY NOT KEEP HIM FROM GETTING IT AND ORAL SEX IS DEFINETLEY SOMETHING U DONT WANT TO DO BECAUSE THEN HES GOING TO GET IT ON HIS FACE
SO JUST BE CAREFULL GO TO YOUR LOCAL CLINIC IF U HAVE TO
DO NOT HIDE IT FROM HIM!!!! Put yourself in his shoes, would you want someone to hide that from you? I have been living with this thing for about 12 years. I am married now and my husband has been there since it has been a definite yes (got tested so many times it was ridiculous). You need to tell this guy. Who cares if he stops seeing you. He wasn't there for you anyway if that's the case. After you let him know, give him some time to register and found out if this is what he wants to do and where he wants to be. If you have known this this whole time and did not tell him, he is going to be extra pissed. That is very wrong. That is how I got infected. the person knew and didn't tell me, I was 16. It hurt worst to know that there are people who are careless in the world like that than the actual infection. And just because you have it, doesn't mean you have to tell every Tom, Dick and Harry. That is your personal business. let your male friend know that you want this to remain personal. Tell him to think about it, if he tells everyone that you have it, everyone knows he was with you and it will come back around on him.
i know how u feel i was in a really bad relationship he would beat me like no other and its been a year since i left him and now jus yesterday i found out i have herpes.... he was my first and last and come to find out he knew also.... im so sad cause i trusted him and he did me wrong but im slowly gettin things together and theres this guy who i been talkin to and i really like him but i think ima jus break it off comptetely cause i dont want him to think badly of him and u can tell he wants to move to the next level but i dont want to give to him but like u said everybody should know and if he really likes me he would understand right??
I definately agree with this. It is your responsibility to let anyone you plan to be intimate with know that you have Herpes. I trusted someone and he played Russian Roulette with my body....no one should ever expose anyone to this horrid virus. It is your moral obligation. Just because I was not told does not make it right for me to pass it along another human being. I feel violated, almost like raped. I would love to expose this guy. Any ideas on what I can do. I want him to feel the humilation I have to endure.
You can't do dirt for dirt. He will get his but stoopin gto his level is not the thing to do. I feel the same way you did when I had to tell someone my situation but you will be surprised at how grown people can be. If you don't feel safe to tell that person or have one doubt then DON'T. Go with your gut and you know your gut ain't telling you to tell this man's business. Be the grown up in the situation. Take it to God he will handle that situation for you.
Ok "sexnegus01" you can still get it even if you wear a condom. Why are you on this page anyway? Evidentally you had some concerns! There is a thing called trust that most of these people thought they had with whoever and was put in a dangerous situation. Yes, I agree you should "wrap it" but with this it doesn't matter. Oh and by the way "sexnegus01" you might wanna get checked yourself cause one in every four people have herpes and don't even know it. Look it up!
i have a family member that had just recently contracted genital herpes from her friend that wiped his mouth and fingered her. everyone who knows him says he has herpes, he even told my boyfriend and a few others. also, his ex girlfriend broke up with him because she contracted herpes from him from unprotected sex. since my family member just got it, me and her are going to get tested today for HS1 & HS2. if you have genital herpes, do you have herpes of the mouth ? she was wondering if you can still perform oral sex if she only has genital herpes. lemme know asap, thanks.
Hi i know how you feel, i have it also ok i take top precaution and i recently started dating some one and i forgot to put on a condom but we were in the heat of the moment and we just took off however i have not had a outbreak in 2month or more and i know you can still get it but there is a great chance she wont.Now i have told her and we are figuring a way to try and have sex and her not get it we want to work it out and make it happen its not life threatening but its not good also.Tell your mate and if he cares enough he will work things out get him tested and go from there if your sure you gave it to him while you had an outbreak than its a good idea you need to talk with your mate.
You need some time to heal. I was in a bad relationship for about 6 years also, it took me a year or so to untangle and much longer to heal. Take your time, there is no rush.
I recently had sex with one man, a one night stand, just to be rid of my ghosts. I rose out of that bed in a lot of pain, I am now waiting for a herpes test to come back because I have some mighty strange symptoms, though the doctor said it was probably just from the stressful situation, but I want to make sure. She told me these symptoms could be from stress, could be from the one nighter or could have been dormant this entire time, no one knows.
But the most important part is for you to take care of yourself. If you want to break it off with this other person, tell him you just aren't ready and you need some time. Life isn't a rat race - things, for me anyway, have suddenly come into perspective with this internal drama of the virus. I can tell no one, but inside I feel sort of a sense of relief. This is something I have always been fearful of and there is still a lot I need to learn about it, but I am slowly becoming more ok with it. You need to not look to others for verification of your being, but to yourself. This will come with time though. Good luck.
You never answered the last question. Can she give him genital herpes if he performs oral sex on her even without an outbreak?? I was recently diagnosed last week but my outbreak was on my butt tocks. My boyfriend got tested and he was negative. He still wants to make it work but I'm afraid I can pass it to him if he performs oral sex on me. I had no visible warts at the vagina, anus or mouth... only on my butt tock
I was dating this guy for a while and he gave me oral sex, he also had a "canker sore" on his lip at the time. A week later I was diagnosed with herpes. He knew about it, and did'nt bother to tell me. Now my life is messed up, and it's all because of him. I want to charge him, i just didn't know if I could do that because he said what he had on his lip wasn't spreadable, so he doesn't think he gave me anything..but he did.
I was dating this guy for a while and he gave me oral sex, he also had a "canker sore" on his lip at the time. A week later I was diagnosed with herpes. He knew about it, and did'nt bother to tell me. Now my life is messed up, and it's all because of him. I want to charge him, i just didn't know if I could do that because he said what he had on his lip wasn't spreadable, so he doesn't think he gave me anything..but he did.
I was dating this guy for a while and he gave me oral sex, he also had a "canker sore" on his lip at the time. A week later I was diagnosed with herpes. He knew about it, and did'nt bother to tell me. Now my life is messed up, and it's all because of him. I want to charge him, i just didn't know if I could do that because he said what he had on his lip wasn't spreadable, so he doesn't think he gave me anything..but he did.
I'm a woman in my 30's. I've only been with a couple guys, I've always been careful to use safe sex practices and get tested regularly so I know I'm clean.
But after being raped in 2007, I became the unwilling life-long host of an STD.
The 'Trash' who raped me also gave me Herpes1. I was informed by a Dr. at the Health Clinic: Even tho I had the outbreak vaginally which is primarily a sign of Herpes 2, that Herpes1 (primarily Oral) can sometimes show up vaginally as well. (as in my case)
(Please feel free to correct me if I am ill-advised on any of these statements...I am simply relaying the details, which I have been informed of by my Doctor regarding this subject)
* If you get Herpes1 (the milder of the 2) it IS still possible for you to contract Herpes2. However, if you have Herpes2 I am told, You won't contract Herpes1.
* A vast percentage of people have Herpes already but don't know it, as the outbreaks can be so mild over time or few and far between. Many people contract the virus as a young child.
*It would also be important to note that, though people ask for 'a full check-up/testing' for STD's, they don't realize and aren't always informed of the extra steps that are neccessary to check for Herpes Virus - other than seeing the obvious outbreak, it is crucial to get checked by way of a blood test. The Herpes Virus will NOT show up in a simple urinalysis. (pee test)
So before fretting over any future partners - it's ALWAYS best to be honest and up front... after all, it's a possibility they may already have contracted it in which case it may make things a little less complex and in them getting checked too, you ALL know what you're dealing with and how to proceed.
In the end, that partner will appreciate and respect you FAR more for caring enough about them to actually choose their physical health over your immediate sex drive and cravings - to not subject them to the same unpleasant fate you have to deal with, ....takes a REAL man or woman to be honest, no matter what.
I chose to be honest with the man I'm seeing. He did not have any STD's. He chose to hold off for several months, but now I am happy to say that after this chunk of time has passed, he is willing to 'work around it' and take safety precautions.
After all is said and done: It's such an amazing feeling now, to know even when facing the 'ugly truth', they still wanna be with you inspite of it all. (yes, there are people out there who think you're worth it!)
~
Don't know if that helps anyone... or atleast helps you to know other questions you may need to ask and do research on for your own understanding.
All the best,
~ BetterToBeHonest
i had sex 7 months ago and i never itches or anything down in my private area until now December28,2009 could i have herpes. they only thing i have in my private area are small bumps with blood in them... but no clear liquid is coming out. it has a little burn to it but could that be because i just shaved?
the wierd thing is i thought you get them all over, but i only have them at the top of my private area.. i doubt i have herpes... but im still worried.. when it happened 7 months ago that was my first time. and my partner didn't have any sores or bumps down there... soo im confused on rather if i have it or not. im only 12 and im very scared...
Hi, I'm an 18 year old female and I found out that I gential herpes. But even though I was afraid of telling my boyfriend, but he was very supportive, and maybe he won't be later on, but I think you should telling because you could give it to him and even though you're living with it, I think you'd feel worse if he got it from you.
That is also how i got herpes. My boyfriend had a cold sore and gave me oral sex about 3 days later i was in so much pain and there was this awful bump. I went to the doctors with my best friend and i was told i had herpes. I called my boyfriend told him everthing and at first he was like that can't happen and im going to delete your number. I was really upset! Then about twenty mins later he called and said can we talk about this? We talked it over and he feels so bad for giving me this STD that i can never get rid of but he has been the best. Honestly i couldnt ask for a better person he is standing by my side because he cares and he really does love me.
Go get tested. It sounds like you do really have genital herpes. You need to talk to an adult and tell them what's going on with you. You can get an outbreak anywhere but you don't get them all over. the outbreak is usually localized to one area. You are very young and you really need to seek the advice of an adult that you can trust. I am 33 yrs old and found out I have it about three weeks ago. It is a tough thing to come to terms with.
hi there.
i just read what you said and you said you were sixteen. I'm sixteen and i just got diagnosed with herpes. Its really scary for me and i dont know how exactly to deal with it. I have a boyfriend at the moment and i dont know whether or not to tell him, because i dont think its fair that he has to be with me even though i may have gotten the disease from him. i dont know how to tell him either. im so lost. i dont know much about this virus and i dont know how to deal with it. please help me. i really adore this boy and dont want to loose him :(
Hey, I know that the medication is expensive, it pissed my off to high hell when I found out i was infected with the disease. First, talk to your doctor, I take a medicine called Acyclovir. It is what they typically give to patients with Shingles. Shingles is related to herpes, the sores even look the same, ( except for shingles gets your entire body). Anyway, look into that, it is $10 a month, much cheaper than Valtrex. Talk to your doctor though.
Also you need to tell him, I got it from my boyfriend of 4 years, and it has taken a lot to get over. But really in the end, as many of my friends have told me, if he doesn't care that you have the disease and is just looking for a piece... then you really don't need him. If he really actually cares about you, he will do research with you and figure out how you can make sex work.
Protection is very important! Even though my partner and I both have the disease, we are still careful when one or the other has an outbreak because it will immediately transfer to the other who didn't have an outbreak.
Do research about how you can change your diet too, that is very important, certain foods will make you more prone to outbreaks, just like certain fabric... like if you have an outbreak wear cotton underwear it will help it heal quicker. There are lots of small things that you can do to make things better, and for the most part they are mior changes that can greatly improve your situation.
i agree with you completely anonamous(spelled wrong) he should know i am eighteen years old and found out last year i got herpes and still dont know who gave it to me. i only had sex three times. each on denys having them, and wont get tested. the hardest thing to do is tell someone you care about you have it and risk them just walking away because of it its scary and i have also been reading up on it the more i read the more terrified i get. and as for jeeny up there id like to punch you, you dont tell them that you dont thhink shes already worried about him getting them enough. she dont need you feeding her head with bad...herpes is not thee end of your life, you just have to live with it and work around it you cant let it run your life...
I'm almost 40 and was in a monogamous relationship with a 35 year old woman. We were having unprotected sex and she told me after six months that she had herpes 2. I got tested and you guessed it, I have it. She knew for 7 years. I loved her so much that I forgave her after the initial shock and she dumped me.
People please be carfeful out there. There ARE people out there who only care about themselves and don't seem to mind ruining others lives. I'm a single dad with 3 daughters and now I have to hit the single scene again with this virus.
If she knew that she had the virus when she gave it to you, then you could possibly have a good case for a civil suit.
She likely may be required to pay for medication and treatment, possibly for the rest of your life. (the medication will help you contain and reduce, but not eliminate, the possibility of spreading the virus. That should help a little in your dating life) That should also help you a little as the medication is pricey and I am sure as a single father you may be strapped for money.
**Notice: this comment is absolutely no substitute for legal advice, just something to explore.
I do not think that you after you found out about her "misgivings", you forgive her and stayed with her for love. You wanted to stay with her because you felt that she would be able to help you cope with having this virus and give you comfort in knowing you are not alone.
I hope that you have realized that you are not alone by any means and that there is support from many people in your same situation, so that you do not need that scumbag (I usually do not resort to name calling, but it feels right in this situation) to make you feel like you are not alone.
I do not have the virus, but I empathize with the many stories I have read. I admire all of you with not only your personal stories but also with all your great courage in the face of adversity.
God Bless
i dont think that u should hide it from him im 25 an had it since i been 20 i was in a relationship for 4 years n let them no when it started getting really deep n she stayed with me n we been having sex& oral sex everyday but i also dont break out often i say it depends on how bad u hav it and the person ur with
hi, never done this before but i just started having sex about a year ago i was raped right after starting and the rapist gave me genital herpes. i found a guy who loves me now and wants to get married problem is he wants a baby. i know about artificial insemination but he wants to do it the old fashion way. i am caught between a rock and stone.
I am so sorry to hear. I too had only just started having sex when I was raped. I read your reply but wanted to understand your question better...
You had said 'the problem is he wants a baby.'
By that, do you mean you are fearful of sex, or of what herpes can do to your pregnancy? You mentioned artificial... which leads me to think it's more about the act. Would you say that's true?
I know these are not easy questions in any way. If you can't answer them, I understand. You must give yourself time to heal. (inside) Anyone who loves you will allow you that and give you time to make this extremely important decision.
If you feel at all pressured, they are not being patient. It's not about them after all, it's about you dealing with the trauma of that horrific ordeal and even possibly blaming yourself for what was NOT your fault. NO it was not.
As for giving birth: I've included a couple resources I've found helpful for myself. Tho they may not be greatly comforting to hear, and in parts difficult, I do believe in the end you will feel better with this knowledge and better able to make an informed decision.
I wish you well. my thoughts are with you and my heart as I can very much relate to how difficult living this out truly is.
~ BetterToBeHonest
If a woman has her first episode of genital herpes while she is pregnant, she can pass the virus to her unborn child and may deliver a premature baby. Half of the babies infected with herpes either die or suffer from damage to their nerves. A baby born with herpes can develop serious problems that may affect the brain, the skin, or the eyes. If babies born with herpes are treated immediately with acyclovir, their chances of being healthy are increased.
If a pregnant woman has an outbreak, which is not the first episode, her baby's risk of being infected during delivery is very low. In either case, if you are pregnant and infected with genital herpes, you should stay in close touch with your doctor before, during, and after your baby is born.
If a woman is having an outbreak during labor and delivery and there are herpes lesions in or near the birth canal, the doctor will do a cesarean section to protect the baby. Most women with genital herpes, however, do not have signs of active infection with the virus during this time, and can have a normal delivery.
Is genital herpes worse in a person with HIV infection or AIDS?
Genital herpes, like other genital diseases that produce lesions, increases a person's risk of getting HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. Also, prior to better treatments for AIDS, persons infected with HIV had severe herpes outbreaks, which may have helped them pass both genital herpes and HIV infection to others.
How can I protect myself or my sexual partner?
If you have early signs of a herpes outbreak or visible sores, you should not have sexual intercourse or oral sex until the signs are gone and/or the sores have healed completely. Between outbreaks, using male latex condoms during sexual intercourse may offer some protection from the virus. When used with these precautions, Valtrex can also help prevent infecting your partner during heterosexual sex.
Is any research going on? The National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) supports research on genital herpes and on herpes simplex virus (HSV-1 and HSV-2). Studies are currently underway to develop better treatments for the millions of people who suffer from genital herpes.
While some scientists are carrying out clinical trials to determine the best way to use existing drugs, others are studying the biology of herpes simplex virus. NIAID scientists have identified certain genes and enzymes that the virus needs to survive. They are hopeful that drugs aimed at disrupting these viral targets might lead to the design of more effective treatments.
Meanwhile, other researchers are devising methods to control the virus' spread. Two important means of preventing HSV infection are vaccines and topical microbicides. Several different vaccines are in various stages of development. These include vaccines made from proteins on the HSV cell surface, peptides or chains of amino acids, and the DNA of the virus itself.
NIAID and GlaxoSmithKline Biologicals are supporting a large clinical trial in women of an experimental vaccine that may help prevent transmission of genital herpes. The trial is being conducted at more than 20 sites in 15 states nationwide. For more information, click here Herpevac Trial for Women.
Topical microbicides, preparations containing microbe-killing compounds, are also in various stages of development and testing. These include gels, creams, or lotions that a woman could insert into the vagina prior to intercourse to prevent infection.
Where can I get help if I'm upset about having genital herpes or I have an infected partner? Genital herpes outbreaks can be distressing, inconvenient, and sometimes painful. Concern about transmitting the disease to others and disruption of sexual relations during outbreaks can affect personal relationships. If you or your partner has genital herpes, you can learn to cope with and treat the disease effectively by getting proper counseling and medicine, and by using ways to prevent getting infected or infecting someone else, as mentioned above.
Where can I get more information?
National Herpes Resource Center and Hotline
919-361-8488 (9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday through Friday)
http://www.ashastd.org/hrc/index.html
National STD and AIDS Hotline
1-800-227-8922 or 1-800-342-2437 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week)
National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases
http://www.niaid.nih.gov
Researchers have just found a way to make a staggering cut in the number of cesarean sections done for genital herpes at term. By having a woman take antivirals, like Valtrex, for a month prior to the 40th week of pregnancy the rate of herpes lesions was cut by 70%. This also showed a 70% reduction in the number of cesareans done for herpes at term.
The side effects of the medication are typically mild. They may include:
While it is possible to pass a genital herpes infection on to the baby without symptoms, none of the babies in either group tested positive for the infection in the month following birth. By reducing the number of cesareans done for this reason, these mothers and babies are also protected from the addition risks of cesarean section like newborn breathing difficulties at birth, NICU stays, maternal infections, etc.
Resources:
Jeanne S. Sheffield et al. "Valacyclovir Prophylaxis to Prevent Recurrent Herpes at Delivery: A Randomized Clinical Trial." Obstet Gynecol 2006;108:141-7.
hi just to let you know i have had genital herpes for 14 years now i am married and 3 years ago i had a baby girl.i delivered her naturally aswell,so dont be worried about it you can still have babies like any other person just need to keep an eye on things.the baby builds an immunity to it.but if you have an outbreak when in labour you have to have a c section hope this helps x.
Really! I just don't wont him to get the virus because he is so set on having a normal conception but i know that its not safe for him. Having the virus to me isn't the worst thing but its not spreading, now thats the hard part. Do you take suppressive therapy? Does that help from not spreading it? And if so whats the best one to take?
hi well i got mine when i was 16 from a lad i started seeing he didnt tell me that he had it.so i didnt find out i had it till i slept with my partner who is now my husband of 10 years i have been with him now for 13 years and i have had a few outbreaks and when i do i take either famvir or valtrex it doesnt get rid of them but helps.oh and my husband has not had any sign of anything in all that time.but he loves me and understands that there is a chance he could get something.and we have a lovely little 3 year old now who is perfect hope this helps x.
Holy crap. The reason I was infected with the herpes virus was because the ass that I was sleeping with never told me about his infection. It's practically the first thing out of my mouth when I start dating someone. I'd rather know right off the bat if he's gonna turn tail and run. NOT TO MENTION.... you're risking the rest of his life with out telling him. For heavens sake, had I know I wouldn't have risked myself.
I have been living with genital herpes for the last 7 years.Last year i gave birth `` the good old-fashioned way ``, vaginally, to a healthy 8 pound 6 oz boy.The last 6 weeks of my pregnancy my ob gave me Valtrex to stop any outbreaks.I also took Valtrex for the first year i found out i had the herpes and have been married for the last 6 years my husband has never had any symptoms of the virus..i have given him oral sex...we have been intimate even when i had outbreaks and he is fine..maybe we are lucky but my point is that you don`t need to be scared to have sex with your husband or to have a baby naturally, many woman who have genital herpes have given birth to healthy babies.
i am 17 years old and a male, i have not gone to the doctor for my symptoms, and i am pretty sure i have genital herpes.. i cant eat,sleep, or even get aroused... i cant tell my parents cause they would shun me, and everyone in my family will know about this... i know my sex life would change, and all i hear is that " everything will be ok" or " life isnt over" but i have seriously considered suicide,when i get the results.... im only 17, and who would spend the rest of there life with me if they knew i had this disease.. can someone help me... i just want a normal sex life..
hey help21
i am 19 and was diagnosed today with genital herpes and feel so depressed but my boyfriend-who doesnt have it for some reason said he will always be there for me. i too have considered suicide because i dont know how to cope with this. i am so ashamed and unhappy, but i am sure you will find someone to love you for who you are and have a healthy sex life. i know i will do my very best to carry on and not hurt the ones i love by committing suicide
HI SWEETIE,,
IF THAT MAN, YOUR BOYFRIEND, BREAKS UP WITH YOU BECAUSE OF THIS... YOU DO NOT NEED HIM IN YOUR LIFE. LOVE IS UNDERSTANDING CARING AND IF HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH AND THAT YOU HAVE HERPES,, THAT IS NOT LOVE. ACTUAL FACT THAT MEN CAN CARRY THE INFECTION WITHOUT KNOWING, BUT IF THEY DO KNOW AND INFECT YOU,,, THAT IS COMPLETELY AGAINST THE LAW. THE ONLY REASON I KNOW THIS IS IF YOU READ THE COMMENT I WROTE A LITTLE WHILW AGO,, I WAS RAPED AND HE KNEW HE HAD AN OUTBREAK. THAT IS WHY HE GAVE THE HERPES T ME, HE SAID SO NOBODY WOULD LOVE ME. I HAVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR 10 YEARS AND HE , TO THIS DAY DOES NOT HAVE HERPES. THERE IS, ALSO A SHOT FOR YOUR PARTNER TO GET SO THEY DON'T GET INFECTED.
SANDY
You have it all wrong! Yes genital herpes normally is 2 but you can also spread oral herpes 1 to your genitals.. That is what I have inside of my vagina. I don't get the normal sores, i get the extra discharge with pains in my legs as symptoms. Please don't confuse her. Because herpes 1 is no longer on your mouth anymore.
I am 26 and I have been with the same partner for 2 years. I recently had surgery and it caused my 1st outbreak. I feel angry damaged and depressed. My boyfriend is getting tested to see if he has it. I am also struggling to understand type 1 and 2. BUT I do have type 1 in genitals. I pray they come up with a cure or better prevention because having to explain this to any possible future mates seems impossible and I feel they just wouldnt understand.
you wrote : "Researchers have just found a way to make a staggering cut in the number of cesarean sections done for genital herpes at term. By having a woman take antivirals, like Valtrex, for a month prior to the 40th week of pregnancy the rate of herpes lesions was cut by 70%". BUT 40th week of pregnancy is 10 months (4weeks per month * 10 months) ! as far as I know most women give birth 9 month after pregnancy. Please reply.
Ive had it for 6 months now and he is still clean. Trust me if your outbreaks are like mine, you wont even wanna think about sex. Yes you can get it on your face...according to google BUT WOMEN ARE LESS LIKELY TO PASS IT TO A MAN WHEN THEY DONT HAVE AN OUTBREAK!!!!!! That is what my doctor told me. The reason so many women have it is because a man can go 5 years without even one sign of having it! If he loves you, he will stay. My ex gave it to me and left. He was a dick. But then I found someone else and told him before we even considered dating. We have been together almost 4 months now and he is still clean and planning on staying with me. Dont let it ruin your life. Talk to your doctor about it and she/he will tell you all the risks about it. Or go on webmd. It has a lot of helpful things to know. Also, get americhoice. Thats the insurance I have and my meds are free. Ive never had an outbreak since I started these meds either.
Ive had it for 6 months now and he is still clean. Trust me if your outbreaks are like mine, you wont even wanna think about sex. Yes you can get it on your face...according to google BUT WOMEN ARE LESS LIKELY TO PASS IT TO A MAN WHEN THEY DONT HAVE AN OUTBREAK!!!!!! That is what my doctor told me. The reason so many women have it is because a man can go 5 years without even one sign of having it! If he loves you, he will stay. My ex gave it to me and left. He was a dick. But then I found someone else and told him before we even considered dating. We have been together almost 4 months now and he is still clean and planning on staying with me. Dont let it ruin your life. Talk to your doctor about it and she/he will tell you all the risks about it. Or go on webmd. It has a lot of helpful things to know. Also, get americhoice. Thats the insurance I have and my meds are free. Ive never had an outbreak since I started these meds either.
I do not agree with a large majority of the stories on here. Some of you talk as if you're dying of cancer or something. HSV is not at all that bad, there are ways to work around everything. If you haven't already done research for yourself start doing it. You're doctor of all people should have explained things to you better, or perhaps you should have asked more questions.
I don't class myself as a 'VICTIM', I got something, I went to the doctor, I found out and I dealt with it! You're life isn't over, you just need to work out what things work best for you and help you to have less break outs. Thinking of yourself as a victim to this is just feeling sorry for yourself, yes it may have happened in a bad way, yes it may effect your sex life on the occasion but it is up to you to change the way you think, feel and act!
As one of my favourite quotes says "Remember, YOU were given this life...because YOU are strong enough to live it!!!"
I was diagnosed about 5 months ago, I was upset but soon came to the realisation that really I had no right to act as if I were dying. I have friends who have violent cancer and they don't act half as bad as some of the things I've read on here.
You CAN have oral <---- Because everyone else chose to go off the topic completely. but like a couple others have said, you still need to be precaustious and use contraceptives, such as dental damns and condoms. You can also go on Valtrex to reduce the shedding and outbreak. Though this will not cure it and it is still possible to pass it on to another, so just make sure you're smart about it.
I guess unless your partner chooses not to care about such a small thing. I'm almost certain that if you look at the amount of people on this post that it is clear to see you're not alone, nor will you ever be... I live in Australia and here 1 in every 8 Australia adults have the HS Virus, which means no matter where I am I can garuntee there is always another person who is coping with the same thing.
I hope everything works out for you! And keep smiling :D
Life goes on, even if we have to give our favourite things for a bit :P
Australian Tea Tree Oil (Melaleuca Alternifolia) is sold at many locations including Wal-Mart! Look for 100% pure Australian oil produced by Spring Valley in the pharmacy with the natural herbal supplements. As it is liquid it comes it 2oz bottles, or at least the one at Wal-Mart by Spring Valley does.
I 'M A GIRL and have just realized that i have genital herpes , even though i was told 5 years ago but didn t realize what it was until now 5 years later ! I haven t slept with anyone during that time for different reasons . I love getting oral sex and i m scared that i m now going to have to give it up Forever . IS IT STILL POSSIBLE FOR ME TO GET ORAL SEX ???
You don't have to give up getting oral sex! I've had genital herpes for 15 years now. I'm married with 2 kids (since getting herpes) and I still get sex....without giving herpes to my husband. Just learn your body and learn the signs and triggers to your outbreaks. If you get an outbreak or feel like you are getting one...stay away from sex! email me if you need info on what to take when you are getting an outbreak (not prescribed meds). I've found things that work! Oh....tight pants and shaving your genital area can cause an outbreak, so be watchful of that!
Hope this helps.
Melody....
Couple of things....when having/or about to have an outbreak...don't eat: popcorn, chocolate, oatmeal, raisins, (to name a few)...they all have an amino acid that feeds the herpes virus. Another amino acid, L-Lysine (or just Lysine) is great to help control or prevent an outbreak. You can take up to 3,000mg daily when having an outbreak. Vit. C is good to take when having one/or about to, along with the L-Lysine. I use Solaray brand and it have Vit. C and Zinc in it. My dad has oral herpes and he followed my advice and it helps him, too. The meds are too expensive. You can find Lysine ointment to put on the outbreaks. It's oily, but it will dry them up. Use a hairdryer "there" to help dry the sores up, too. Not too close though...you don't want to burn! I can beat an outbreak if I take Lysine as soon as I recognize an outbreak. There are other herbs you can take that are antiviral (VSC is one) that work great...and quickly. The lysine can be taken for maintenance purposes if your outbreaks are not undercontrol. You don't have to completely give up any sex...just abstain when you feel an outbreak...or give him a night that just all about him! Be careful...and have fun...hope this info helps. Let me know if you need any more info.
becareful...you don't want herpes (cold sores) on your mouth area!! I would think it's up to the two of you on whether or not you use protection. When I was dating my husband, we didn't use condoms and he's still virus-free. He gets cold-sores, so I stay away from his kisses when he's broke out! (and no, he didn't get cold sores from my genital herpes...he had them before me!) Herpes is very prevalent...a lot more than people realize. My dr. says that 25% of people have it and some don't know it.
I recently found out i have it. how i got it. my boyfriend for the last seven years went outside and had sex with someone that had it and came back and gave it to me. i can't stop thinkin about it and i too enjoyed having oral sex. i am afraid that i will give it to my further partner. i am hurtin so bad. it stills make me cry just thinkin about it. i dont know how to deal with this. how do i tell a new partner about this. i wouldnt blame him to stop dealing with me eveetually. i feel like my life is ruined
you seem to have the most experience and time dealing with this.. I've had genital herpes since i was 18 for almost 2 years now but not my ob-gyn or any other doctor tell me about my positive results until recently this winter.( which is another story) but i'm in love love with one of my best friends and i want to be with him .. and i can't tell him..
however i need to know desperatly just how contagious hsv is if i received oral sex a week and a half before my breakout i have now... i wasn't even aware i was about to break out soon.. and i Love him so much i don't want to risk him catching it ... but like someone else on hear wrote... you can still have viral shedding without knowing..
im completely horrified by my actions .. Please tell me somthing good..
i'm a nervous wreck!
I wouldn't think that you could have passed it on to him, it having been over a week between the time of unprotected sex and your outbreak. I don't know much about viral shedding, but I have had this for 15 years and haven't passed it on to my husband of 9 years. Are you aware of an impending outbreak? Most of the time, I do have signs my body gives me that I am about to have an outbreak (ususally within 1 day of the 1st symptoms).
I am not sure if the signs of an outbreak vary from person to person. I have only begun to speak with others about herpes since logging on to this site a few weeks ago, so I'm hoping others will teach me some things that I don't know yet about the virus.
My signs of an outbreak are pain (dull at first) down the back of my left leg. Over the course of the day the pain intensity increases to the point where it is painful to sit down. The pain continues to spread down the leg and across the pelvic floor (genital area). A sore will appear within 24hours of the beginning of the pain. Most of the time, I can dose up on Lysine and "beat" the outbreak. Not all of my outbreaks come with that warning. I had those symptoms for a few days just this past week, but no outbreak ever presented itself. I didn't take the lysine either. Some outbreaks are caused by shaving the genital area and then wearing a thong or tight pants...friction. Some outbreaks are caused from the friction from sex (buy lube to keep by the bed). Some outbreaks are caused by stress or even hormone flucuation during your period. I used to get an outbreak after every period. Outbreaks do tend to lessen in frequency and duration and severity over time. Research (or email me) about foods to avoid when having an outbreak. These are not foods that you can never eat again, just stay away from them during an outbreak as they tend to feed the virus. I hope this helps.
Hi Melody, I'm curious as to what kind of protection you use when you make love to your husband. Do you guys always wear condoms? After fifteen years, he still doesn't have the disease? I have heard that is it harder, (not impossible) for your partner to contract the virus from oral sex. How do you "get around" these things? Can you suggest the best way to tell my partner that I have the disease? I obtained it when my ex went out and cheated on me. Thanks for your help!
I had had the virus for 4+ years when I began dating my now husband, so I had a lot of information to share with him and I'd gotten the virus (not disease) under control. MY outbreaks were not often and they were predictable...they came with warning signs that I'd learned to recognize from my body. We did not use condoms. You can get Herpes 2 on the mouth area from oral sex with an active (outbreak) partner. You can get Herpes 1 in the genital area from a partner giving you oral with a cold sore on their mouth area. Either one is risky if an outbreak is apparant. Tell your bf straight up about the virus and together you can learn more about how to protect yourselves from initial infection or cross contaminating (HSV 1 in genital; HSV 2 on mouth). Email me if you have any other question. mlmcdermott@windstream.net
Hi, i've never done this before. But I am in search of some answers. I have read all the chats you guys have, I have family members in the same situation as you, been married for a long time and has yet to spread it. Which is wonderful!
My question to you since you seem most knowledgeable about the subj. but any help would be wonderful from the rest of the group.
* have herpes, and was wondering I don't have it in my mouth, but I hear its in your blood stream, so can I give my boyfriend herpes if I orally please him?
Herpes Is NOT a virus of the bloodstream. So, you can give your bf a bj if you do not have oral herpes (HSV type 1...cold sores). HSV type 2 is genital herpes. You can cross contaminate the areas and have HSV 1 in genital area and HSV 2 in the mouth area. Herpes is in the nerve endings in the skin ....lesions tend to reoccur at the same spot as initial contact with the fluid from the infected partner's lesions/sores/outbreak. Sores/outbreaks can occur in the genital and buttocks area with HSV 2.
If the lesions/sores are completely gone...no visible sign of them, then she should be safe....but....you owe it to her to be honest. she has the right to chose the risk that she is taking with her health. You have to be responsible and arm her with the knowledge and power to make an informed decision. Remember back to when you were diagnosised......how did you feel??? betrayed by a partner that didn't tell you about the virus????? If you are having sex with her then hopfully you have feelings for her in your heart and not just in you groin, so treat her with care and respect and tell her.
a few weeks bak i gave a guy oral sex.now 3 weeks later i have little fine red bumps they aren't together..they were swollen n they didn't hurt..they don't itch...i am not sure if i have herpes or not but what ever i have come across on the net it looks like i do...only way to do know for sure is to get tested...could i have passed it on 2 him? if so can i perform oral sex wen i don't have outbreaks? is it ok to kiss wen i don't have these on my upper lip? plz help n reply really soon cause i am so unsure about myself at this point in time...will i have to give up sex? ..i only have signs of it on my mouth..never below....can someone help me plz
You need to go get tested just to be sure. If you didn't have the bumps when you gave him a bj, then he should be safe since there was 3 weeks between doing it and getting the bumps. The bumps could be an allergic reaction to something and not herpes at all. A blood/serum test is the only conclusive way to be diagnosed properly.
Hi. I got diagnosed with HSV (I believe it is Type 2) just over two years ago. I only had the original outbreak and I've never had any since. I know that outbreaks tend to decrease over time.... do you think my chances of having another are very high? I also decided to shave my "area" again today after not having done it since I was diagnosed with it. I used sensitive shaving cream, a new razor and put Vitamin E/Aloe Vera oil on after wards.... will shaving increase my risk of an outbreak. Thanks so much!
You will always have a chance of having an outbreak. I have them few and far between now, but sometimes I have one out of the blue with no symptoms. Shaving is okay, just don't wear tight pants the day of or after. Friction can cause an outbreak, even friction from sex (keep lube on hand). I use Coochy Rash Free Shaving Lotion. I buy it online from CheapLubes.com (funny names, I know). It's the cheapest place I've found it. I buy the 16oz pump bottle for $20 (that's with shipping) and it lasts for almost a year!! I hope this helps....keep doing what you're doing to keep the outbreaks away!!!
Yes, you CAN and WILL give him oral herpies! Even if you do not have any noticable sores, you could still have some viral shedding. I am a male paraplegic and I love to give oral sex. The problem is that I just got herpies in my mouth from by giving oral sex to a nice upscale banker gal. Now, I have to worry about giving it to other partners doing the only part of sex that I can ever enjoy anymore?! Screw that!
So NO!! DON"T LET ANYONE GIVE YOUR ORAL SEX AND USE CONDOMS TOO!!!
Hi there. My husband and I both have genital herpes, 10 years now, and are sexually active unprotected and have oral sex too. I have been the only one to get a "cold sore" on my mouth, and it's usually brought on by severe stress. Usually my lower back hurts the day or two before I have an outbreak. The best thing you can do is read up about everything as much as possible, the more you know the easier it is to prevent spreading to eachother or anyone else. I know it's embarrassing, and you're not sure how to tell anyone about it, but honestly it isn't that uncommon. You'd be surprised just how many people have it. Statistics say 1 out of 4 have it. Its easier, so to speak, if you both have it because then you don't have to worry about spreading it as much... if you know what I mean. ;) It's hard to tell a new partner about it, and very cruel to not tell them at all. Best of luck!
Been there hun, same thing happened to me, except the doctor who tested my partner intentionally forgot to test him for HSV. He (the doctor) happened to be the grandfather to my guy's ex, who knew that his granddaughter had the virus. So, in order to protect her reputation, he didn't perform that part of the STD test on him, as he already knew she had genital herpes. He and I are still together to this day, but I felt voilated and that it ruined my life as well. So, I am so sorry to hear that, but in the same it's nice to know I am not alone.....and neither are you! What's even worse, is we were going to file suit against him, but he passed away. Keep your chin up!
Thanks Girl I've had genital herpes for 8 years have one child and continue to get oral sex and regular sex! You are absolutely right when you have herpes you must really learn and listen to your body! Every tingle, every pain in your thigh every itch don't assume it's nothing assume you are getting an outbreak. Im not saying be OCD about it but don't assume it's nothing especially if you are in a relationship. Take your valtex or whatever antiviral med you are prescribed when you start to feel something down there. I was with my son's father for 6 years and never passed it on to him.
Anthony...Please show your girlfriend that you love, respect, and care for her, and tell her. Give her the opportunity to make an educated choice, regarding the risks she wants to take with her health. My "ex" knew he had HSV1 AND HSV2, and failed to tell me (until after we'd broken up)...he also failed to take his Valtrex religiously, putting me at double risk. 2 weeks after we broke up, I learned that I was HSV2+...the jerk gave me genital herpes, but never gave me the opportunity to choose whether or not I wanted to risk exposure, in order to be sexually intimate with him.
Don't be another one like him....love your girl enough to give her the information she needs, in order to keep herself protected.
Hi,
I'm going into a new relationship, she has genital herpes, with no outbreaks for ten years. I truly love this woman and want to explore all avenues of sex...mostly oral. My mind and heart are being ripped apart. We openly discuss this, my question is. What are the risks of me contacting oral herpes? is it spread by kissing? After being widowed 4 years ago, this I feel is my only chance at a Loving and lasting relationship.
Melody i am 22 years old i just found out in feb of 2009 that i had GH 2 i tried to email you but i cant seem to get it sent out if you can email me at Debbie_200786@yahoo.com between the debbie an 2007 thats an underscore i would like to kno more about it i have just started dating this guy which he dont have it ive told him about it n i do not want to give it to him im so scared that he will please email me n tell me more aobut it
Thanks debbie
Hello Melanie, I am 17yrs old and I recently found out that I have hsv 2. I feel disgusted with myself because I am not the typical girl who gets around. Last year I slept with 3 guys, the first one was a guy that I was with for 5 yrs, he gave me hpv and hsv. The 2nd guy gave me chlymadia and trichomonas (who lied that he was a virgin). Now recently I just found out that I had all these at once,but not hsv 2, until months later after being examined by a physican and a blood test..The horrible part about this all is that the 3rd guy, that I am with now has received everything that I had and have... I dont know if he has hsv but what if he doesnt and leaves me???????? I feel awful, stressed, depressed,sad, mad, and like my world has ended...He is older than me and yet he has accepted all this.... I dont know how to move on and deal with everyday life with what I have and have done...What if he leaves me all alone.......Please give me some answers I have noone else.....
the main reason why people dont tell their partner is because there is a 80 % chanse that person will not want to be with them wether with protection or not.after all not everyone we hook up with is the right one especialy these days were is all about loving people with our groins instead of our hearts .thats why i think this virus has such a high success rate , after all in the end we humans in nature are selfish beings wether we accept it or not.(some more than others)thats were altruism comes into play and depending on how good your parents raised us as well as peers we grew up with is how we turn out to be at the end and take the choise to think about yourself and infect that person .people only understand the pain and suffering , physicaly as well as phycologicaly hsv gives you until they have it in them and now they are in that persons shoes.i personaly had it for 4 years now, had multiple partners , never told tem a thing cause of shame and fear they will look at me like im some type of monster , not a hapy feeling but even though i never tell them i take care of them by having safe sex and not letting women go down on me , its tough to give that up but i belive its harder to live with the though you infected another person cause of selfish reasons.so in the end the choise is up to you.
What is DMSO? I take Lysine capsules for treatment and prevention. I do not currently take it for prevention. 500mg daily for maintenence, up to 3,000 for treatment. Get it at a herb shop or www.puritan.com There prices and sales are wonderful. Get lysince with vitamins c & e (you may have to get that at an herb shop). Or take vitamins c & e separate from the lysine.
I think that your reasons for not giving ANY partner whether a fling or a serious one is selfish and arrogant. EVERYONE has the right to choose whether or not THEY WANT TO PUT THEMSELVES AT RISK. That is not a decision that others have the right to make for them.
Not going down on you or practicing safe sex isn't a guarantee of no infection.
If someone rejects you for having this disease then they are not worth you having. Getting to know someone first before just screwing them gives your partners a chance to decide if they like you or trust you enough to keep them safe and that you are knowledgable enough about HSV to keep them safe.
Your fear of rejection is overshadowing the fact that you are worthy of someone that loves you for you...all of you.
I told my husband after we'd been dating for 2 weeks. He trusted me because I was very knowledgable and willing to let him speak to a medical professional about HSV if he even thought of us going any further. We then still did not have sex for 2 more months. We got to know each other and to have a deep friendship first.
Since then, my husband has died (feb. 13th of this year). If I were to start dating again, I would still inform them early in the relationship of the virus.
also, about how we become who we are...we all have a choice on whether or not to become a product of our environment. That means that we make our own choices about how we live and our own values and morals. How we turn out is up to us when we reach adulthood. Yes, we can take parts of the influence of others, but in the big picture we make us what we are.
good question .and by the way is not fear i have is proven fact , i did told me first couple of partners and all i got was rejection an a big disgust look on their face , so that dint work for me as well as ur husband (may he rest in peace and im sorry for your loss.) it also depends on your age im on my 20's i live in a city of materialistic and selfish people , i wont deny it either i am selfish myself in a way .and i understand why people looked at me with disgust once i told them , imagine that your new boyfriend tells you ..oh yeah by the way i have aids , that will pretty mush make you not want to be with that person .and yes my practices of sex may not be the safest but im doing th best to tried not to spread this poison i have in me , i wish i could find some one that will take me for who i am but in reality it wont happen any time soon , not making excuses here , just tryin to cope with this new life style i got , so thats my point of view on things hope i dint ofend you .
I was 22 when I was diagnosed. We do not have poison in us. It is not a life threatening virus, just life-altering. I got a sense of sadness and disgust with your own self. I did too when I was first diagnosed. I felt dirty and trashy. Truth is there are a lot more people in this world that have genital herpes, and they aren't even aware of it. Realize, too, that genital herpes is the same strain of oral herpes, just in a different area. Each can be in either area..yes, some people have HSV2 in their mouth area. HSV1 are the cold sores...herpes!!! And those with nasty looking cold sores are not thought of as dirty and trashy.
Thank you for the kind words about my husband. I was 28 and he was 35, so you have a point about age making a difference. Maturity is really what makes a difference in how guys respond to us. I am nervous too about eventually dating again because of the high risks of STDs now and the fact that I will have to tell him that I have herpes.
Gather all the information that you can about this virus. Knowledge is Power. Get control over this virus, so that it does not control you.
Email me if you want to. I would like to keep in touch. mlmcdermott@windstream.net
~Melody~
hi,
i was recently diagnosed with gh as of june 23, 2009 i am currently dating someone who ive been with for 7 months he gets type 1 but has never had a fever blister while we have been together....is it possible that i contracted type 2 from him giving me oral sex even though he never had a visible fever blister?....also we have been having unprotected sex and he had a blood test done the day after i found out i was possitive and he doesnt have it....i never cheated on him maybe he could be a carrier? i am just very upset and find it hard to believe that it could be from the ex whom i dated for 4 years i never had an outbreak until now 9 months after i broke up with the ex! i am quite depressed and cry everyday wondering if my bf will be able to stay with me or if he cant handle this....we need info and my doctors nurse called and told me so i would have to schedule an appointment just to talk to the doctor.....thanks
It might be a good idea for you to talk to your ex boyfriend, and find out if he has it. Even though you didn't have an outbreak while you were with him, I have read that it can be "dormant" for a long period of time (with no outbreaks). So it is possible that you've had it for a long time, but the symtoms are only surfacing now.
Ask your doctor for more information about this, and explain the situation to your current boyfriend. You haven't done anything wrong, so he should be understanding.
Hope that helps.
so u seem very comfortable about the virus & dealing w/ it--i admire tht. i recently-2days 2b exact, found out i had genitalherpes after seeing a doc. i would like to know when can a female receive oral sex frm her partner w/o spreading the virus to his mouth? i wnt 2b as safe as possible if im going to b sexually active at all, b/c right now im still a little devasted by all of this, & i didnt c any signs of the virus until a wk b4 i wnt to the doc--it literally came out of nowhere--i havent even been sexually active these lst 2mnths-i feel like i dnt really wnt 2hv sex anymore, but i know thats b/c of howi feel right now. im only 27--any words to help would be appreciated-thnks
Hi, can u tell me of the meds u found to be helpful? And can u tell me if u do oral plain or with a pertected shield? I hope i am not crossing the line i will like to know. I have been seeing someone that knows i have herpes. I want him to do me but don't want him to get it being he don't have it. Can u email me at jordannd2@yahoo.com Thanks hopeful
Correction...it is 4 out of 5 that have herpes type 2 and 20 % of them don't know it. I just saw my gyne today to talk about it. Almost everyone has Herpes 1 and of course some don't know it. She said you are more likely to get Herpes type 2 if you have Herpes 1. If you get tested then you will know more about your risks and status and thus protect yourself and others better. It is very important to know that because your partner doesn't have any std's doesnt mean you are clean. You could have something your partner doesnt.
I have recently found out I have gh. To my knowledge I have never had an outbreak. I have read symptoms and signs and even pictures. I have been to the Dr. several times thinking I may be having one but each time is negative. My worries is that I am seeing someone (he is aware of situation) and eventually I want to be intimate but how will I know if I am or not having or about to have an outbreak... Do you take the Lysine on a daily basis to prevent? If so, how much? I keep seeing where people are saying the meds are expensive. How expensive? Please give any advise you can. I am struggling with this. THANKS!!
melody wassup im 18 and i believe i contracted gh from a girl by either vaginal or oral sex and felt stupid after for not using protection and didnt know how i would approach a female in telling them i have gh since im handsome this hard it would be nice if we could chat and see if we can be friends
We can be friends. Have you been diagnosed with herpes or do you just suspect that you have it? A bloodtest is needed for proper diagnosis. I am glad that you are handsome but that doesn't mean you cannot tell any future partners. The best and worst looking people can have herpes. cold sores are herpes, too and look how many handsome people have it.
You're so stupid, you cannot get an outbreak from tight jeans or shaving the area. The only times you will have an outbreak are when your immune system gets low. So keep your immune system built up with herbs and vitamins and you will never have an outbreak. I've had genital herpes now for 9 years and haven't had an outbreak in over 7 years.
I've had HSV for 17+ years. I've had 2x as much experience with the virus as you have. Your comment that I am stupid shows just how compassionate you are to others when they have different information than you do. You can still have outbreaks no matter how good your immune system is built up. If building up our immune system keeps us healthy, then why do people get cold VIRUSES and Flu VIRUSES when they take vitamins and herbs????? You must be a very lucky person to stay so healthy. I hope you continue to stay healthy and outbreak free.
I just recently got diagnosed that i have HSV2 and im so hurt i contracted it threw my husband that i only had sex with we been married for four years, and he has been unfaithful 7x and i stayed so i feel punished by god, However like some have said i never had an outbreak so i dont know when to protect myself with certain foods or herbs should i just take multivitamins daily and st Jhonswart, garlic, echinacia goldenseal. Just for prevention and should i become vegetarian and just cut out all starch, Plus i also have a son who likes to kiss me in the face and like's to drink off me and he reguarly ask me to pop his pimples im so scared of passing this to my son We now have seperate towels and wash cloths he use the White ones only one for face one for body, i use the pink i threw away all soap and only use bath gel and after every use of the toilet wipe the toilet with bleach wipes and i always washing my hands with antibacterial soap is this the best way to live with this disease?
Email me mlmcdermott@windstream.net
Can you please explain to me, how your husband doesn't have it, since you have oral sex, I am dating someone right now and he doesn't have it, and I dont now how to tell him, I am so embarassed, I got it from my ex husband, tha's how I found out he cheated on me. I dont date because of this, I just don't want to now, if this virus is so contagious, can it be spread trough blood? I donate blood all the time. please help.
I just found out I have GH yesterday and am completely shocked. I have been crying and crying and don't really know how to stop. I do not know how I contracted this virus. Just some questions for anyone who knows...How long does it take for the first outbreak to occur? And even if there are no signs of an outbreak, will anyone be able to perform oral sex on me again? I feel so disgusting. How do I leave this feeling?
I get these from another site:
If one partner has genital herpes, the other partner is at risk of contracting herpes. It's up to you and your partner to decide what level of risk you are comfortable with. When sores are visible, the risk of transmission through sex and other close body contact (around the area with sores) is high. When no sores are visible, the risks are less certain, because there's a slight possibility of the herpes virus being present on the surface of the skin -- this is called viral, or asymptomatic, shedding What is viral shedding? in Alice's Sexual Health archives). Viral shedding can occur at anytime and anywhere in the genital area, although some sites are more common than others. This means that herpes transmission cannot always be prevented by using a condom or oral dam for vaginal, anal, and/or oral sex. Keep in mind that viral shedding occurs a few days per year at the most, so take this into consideration when making your decisions.
Please don't freak out over what Alice is telling you. By all means, you are protected from herpes when no sores are present and there is absolutely no viral shedding. This also applies to oral sex (unless the giver has a cold sore, which could spread the herpes virus to the genitals -- read Cold sores + Oral sex = Genital Herpes? for more information). If you want to be safer, as well as have some peace of mind, use a condom (for oral sex on a man) or an oral dam (for oral sex on a woman). An oral dam is a thin, square piece of latex that is placed over the clitoris, vulva, or anus. You can also use a non-lubed condom by pulling off the ring and cutting along one side to make a rectangle; or, use a small piece of plastic wrap (preferably non-microwaveable wrap because it is less porous).
Another thing to consider is whether or not your concerns are in the context of a committed relationship. If the person with herpes is someone with whom you would like to, or plan to, have a long-term partnership, then you may be more willing to take and accept risk. If you're not sure, you may choose to practice safer sex.
Well, there are a lot of things to think about. You may want to address your concerns with different strategies at first to see what feels best, but, in time, you'll likely come up with a few ways that will let both of you feel safe and enjoy your sexual adventures, regardless of herpes.
I HOPE YOUR RIGHT.I HAVE TO GIRLS AND IT WILL BE VERY SAD IF I GET THIS VIRUS.
I REALLY LOVE HIM AND HE HAD THIS BEFORE I CAME ALONG AND I WANT TO HELP HIM.
BY THE WAY,HE USE THESE PILLS CALLED VALTREX,BUT HE DOES NOT HAVE INSURANCE AND THE PRICE IS $300. FOR 30PILLS. DO YOU KNOW ANY WAY I CAN FIND THIS VELTREX CHEAPER
Hey, you're comment really helped. Is it really true? It's hard to find credable sources on the internet.
I just got diagnosed, and I've always been careful, always used a condom, etc. So since I have no clue how I contracted it (he wasnt having an outbreak) I am really worried about passing it on. Oral sex is okay?
What are your secrets? How, in 22 years have you not passed it on? Everyone says to be careful and use "safe sex", but thats how i contracted this in the first place.
Any information is greatly appreciated.
hello i just found out about 6 months ago that i have herpes 2 and i dont have insurance and i take two pills a day called acyclovir and its a generic i had no problems with it so far and i pay $10 for 3 months worth so definitely check it out i hope its a good help it takes alot of encouragement to get on a internet and say things but we need to be strong and fight this is real life its not a game my partner didnt tell me he had it and he knew and its a shame he is actually giving it to other girls to its sad and really ridiculous i am learning to deal with it i actually told my ex boy friend i have it and we are currently talking about getting back together well we are together now he understood and telling him went well i hope i stay with him for a long time i need the support and when u feel its right u tell them its important to tell ur partner i pat everyone on the back for being on this site we need to be here for each other its a tough road out there but it could be worst but everyone keep their heads up high and take care
thank you for your imput i have not had any outbreak for almost 2 years i have been dianosed with genital herpes and ive been taking valtrex everyday. i recently had oral sex with a new partner and feel ashamed that i didnt fore warn him of my condition. i am going to tell him if i get the nerve before we have sex. my question is do you think he is at risk now since we had the oral sex already and its been 2yrs since my outbreak? I really dont know if he has herpes either. i just cant believe how irresponsible ive been. Im falling in love with this guy and i would hate to lose him but i just cant bring up this subject to him please help me find the words. i feel i should not have been shedding and hes probably ok but god the guilt is killing me
thank you for your imput i have not had any outbreak for almost 2 years i have been dianosed with genital herpes and ive been taking valtrex everyday. i recently had oral sex with a new partner and feel ashamed that i didnt fore warn him of my condition. i am going to tell him if i get the nerve before we have sex. my question is do you think he is at risk now since we had the oral sex already and its been 2yrs since my outbreak? I really dont know if he has herpes either. i just cant believe how irresponsible ive been. Im falling in love with this guy and i would hate to lose him but i just cant bring up this subject to him please help me find the words. i feel i should not have been shedding and hes probably ok but god the guilt is killing me
It's amazing how people will give advice with either opinions or just using their own experiences as if that was going to be true for everybody.
Sperm does not contain the virus.
You can get and give herpes even with no symptoms. All you can try to do is reduce the risk.
Try not to just find the advice you like best, and believe in that. Especially if you putting other people's health at risk.
Try not to give advice without knowiing more than just your personal experiences.
i just started dating a woman with genital hepes. we have not had sex yet, but have had some serious necking.
i now have a fever blister on my lip. i assume i got this from her. is it herpes?
am i infected???
If she has genital then she would only have herpes in the genital area, find out if she has HSV-1 or HSV-2, my ex-boyfriend only had HSV-1 which is cold sores or blisters in your mouth, he gave me HSV-1 through oral sex, so I have genital HSV-1, since contracting this a couple of years ago I have only had 1 minor breakout, barely anything and I have not had anything on or in my mouth, if you are concerned just check w/ your doctor, hope this helps
Hi -
I just started dating a guy that has HSV2. I want to make sure that I am as safe as possible once we start sleeping together.
My question is can he pass HSV2 to me; if he performs oral sex on me.
thank,
mag
no he can't. as long as he doesnt have any physical outbreaks around or inside of his mouth then you will be fine. make sure you ask him though is he has the HSV2 on his genitals or his mouth.
always use protection when you are having sex with him whether he has an outbreak on his genitals or not. it is important to avoid sex while an outbreak is apparent to reduce or eliminate your chances of contracting it.
you need to ask him where he has had the virus first though. if it was on his mouth then you maybe be at risk of contracting it.
I am a female that was just diagnosed with Genital HSV-1..
I have read so much information online but I'm still confused and would like someone with experience to help me out..
I know that I can obivously give my b/f genital herpes because I have genital herpes, but can he perform oral sex on me when there is not an outbreak?
about two weeks ago i notice some itcy bumps on my private part Im not sur eif it is herpes but it does look like it. I went to the doctors and they said it looks like it to but there not sure. I am on meds for it and it is takin it away does that mean it is herpes? my doctor told me to come back in a month and he would do a test. should i be waiting? Is there a test you can do to find out if u have it? How did you know you had herpes what did your doctor do? I am really scared. I dont know much about herpes. Can you die from it? can you have children? how often do you get outbreaks? is there certain things you can do to reduce outbreaks? how bad do these out breaks get? how do you deal with it? I feel like if i do have it and i tell someone i feel like they will out cast me or not understand and think im dirty or something.
I have only had sex with my boyfriend but he isnt showing signs of it or itcy or anything can he still have it?
Im just really scared and not sure how to deal with it any advice would help
When I was diagnosed w/ HSV-1, I had a little sore by my rear end that they swabbed and took a sample to test and HSV-1 came back as my diagnosis, they should be able to do a blood test as well, I have never had (knock on wood) in the past 3 years since I was told a major break out, I had the initial and it was a small sore and then last spring I had another small sore and took Valtrex and it went away. The sores looked like nothing and I have never felt sick or had flu like symptons, I think people have a very warped perception what genital herpes is, since I was diagnosed I have done massive research online and with my gynecologist and realized that this is not the nightmare that most think it is, it is not even life threatening. Yes, you can still have children this has nothing to do w/ your reproduction, I would just get to the bottom of what you have and go from there, good luck and you will be fine!
Just read a new medical journal article and 70% of people infected the partner with herpes had no sores present. This is a much higher rate then previously known. 1 in 4 of us has Herpes and 90% do not know they have herpes. It is safer to use safe sex practices with someone who has it who knows their pre-dome feelings and is on daily suppressive medication then it is to have sex with someone who thinks they don't have it.
I just got genital orally and it sucks. I took lots of herbs and vitamins and kept it pretty well supressed, only a little sore inside my lip. My whole mouth burns though and wants to break out. I got the meds from the dr and took those today. It sucks. I had sex with my partner for 2 years who has type 2 genital....I never got it. we had unprotected sex and oral....I got it now. My immune system was down. I would not have unprotected oral sex with anyone with type 2 even if they don't have outbreaks. I'm still trying to understand what this means for my future. Don't want to have the virus around my kids. ugg feel dirty and only had 2 partners. I just didn't worry anymore becuase it had been so long. Now I"m quite sure I have it. to control an outbreak take high doses of vit. c every 3 hours, drink tons, don't smoke, take a garlic immunity formula, l-lysine, raw apple cider vinegar. This all kept it down. when I got lazyt and sore broke out. its my first break out. They are supposed to be more intense, so these treatments would work wonders for established herpers. I'm going to continue with garlic, vit c, and l lysine daily to keep from future outbreaks. I would like to know others experience with oral type 2. Oh God!!!!
Hi,
I have just been dianosed with HSV-2. Im not sure how to deal with it. I got it from my ex boyfriend. I havnt even been with him. I havnt seen him in 4 months but I guess it can take that long. I am not sure how to deal with this. What are the things I should be doing? Is it better to take valtrex daily rather then just taking it during an outbreak?
I just started talking to someone. I realize I have to tell this person that I have it but how. I mean how do you tell someone you have it and what r the chances of him reakky staying around. Can anyone tell me how to tell someone you have it?
I have had hsv 2 for at least 15 years. Before we got married, my husband (then boyfriend) told me he had it. I was scared about it and spoke to my doctor about it... he said that I would be fine as long as I did not have sex w/ him during an outbreak. WRONG!!! That was very bad advice and completely undocumented based on the tons of research out there regarding viral shedding. However, I trusted that bad advice and ended up catching it several years later after we got married. I was so devastated and shamed... I did not deal with it well. I ended up having 3 beautiful children and chose C-sections just to be sure they would be fine.
Fast forward 20 years... now divorced. I didn't think I would be able to have a relationship b/c I didn't want to risk putting someone else through what I had been through. Surprising though, the first guy that I began to date was not horrified at all when I told him (I did this in an email before we got serious...b/c I wanted him to be able to "opt out" in case he did not feel comfortable with the herpes issue. I also did not want both of us to be so deeply emotionally involved that it would be even more painful to deal with.) He ended up telling me that he had it as well...and was wondering how he would tell me! We had a very satisfying relationship and are still very good friends.
After that I assumed that I wouldn't be intimantly involved w/ anyone again b/c of the herpes. I was surprised again after I started seeing someone and things were starting to click. Again, I sent an email and explained what had happened to me. I told him that I wouldn't hold anything against him if he did not want to continue the relationship but that it was important to me to be completely honest from the very beginning. Amazingly, he emailed back that he too, had it.
So, it is ALWAYS best to be completely honest. I was horrified when I first learned I had it. I would NEVER want to put someone else through what I went through. If you loose the person because they don't want to risk getting herpes, you WILL get over it with time. It does not necessarily mean they are shallow or bad, it just means they don't want herpes. Period. If I had the chance not to have it...well, I would take that too. You will eventually find someone who you can be honest and intimant with...and they will admire your bravery and honesty...and your relationship will be stronger and deeper as a result.
At least 1 in 5 have hsv2... and at least 70% of those do not even know they have it. Before you are intimant with anyone you should both be tested for a panel of std's...even if you are using protection. You should continue to use protection for up to a year and then get re-tested since some diseases (like HIV) can take that long to show up as positive. Also, condoms do not provide protection against HPV...and there are over 100 strains of HPV...and it is EXTREMELY common...google it. Condoms do not protect you against all std's!!!! Know what you are deling with!! Do your research on medically sound internet sites or books...don't just believe what anyone tells you. Take charge and responsibility for your life.
I know it feels like your world is ending, and that you are an outcast...but this is so not true. This is an issue that can be managed. I have had great results w/ Acyclovir (2 times a day) which is very reasonably priced... and Walgreens even has it on their special plan for a 3 month supply for $15. I still go through difficult times emotionally, but now I can get through them easier and discipline my mind to think on what is real now and what I have control over...not replay emotional baggage and anger. You only have today... right now.
Accept and love yourself...do what is right because you are valuable and worth great things. It is the first step to beginning to heal and truely love others.
I JUST WANTED TO MAKE A COMMENT ON THE TRANSFERRING OF STD'S EVEN WHEN USING A CONDOM. 10% OF VIRAL MATTER PASSES THROUGH A CONDOM, AND PEOPLE DON'T GET THAT, THEY THINK THEY ARE SAFE. I KNOW THIS BECAUSE WE WERE INVOLVED WITH A REASEARCH COMPANY FOR AIDS. WHEN YOU LOOK UNDER A MICROSCOPE YOU CAN SEE THE OPENINGS IN THE CONDOM MATERIAL, AND SOME VIRUSES ARE SMALL ENOUGH TO PASS THROUGH. SCARRY. NOT TO MENTION THE CHANCE YOU TAKE WITH DEFECTIVE CONDOMS. SO THANKS FOR BRINGING UP THE FACT THAT CONDOMS DO NOT NECESSARILY PROTECT YOU FROM DISEASES.
i learned that i had GH about year ago, i got it from the first guy i ever slept with. i am only 19 now and still have not slept with anyone else, everytime i get intimate with someone i break it off before it goes too far because im terrified to tell them. when i think about i feel sick and ashamed...does that feeling ever start to go away? i want to tell them but the words never come out, and i wouldnt know how to phrase it in an email. i just feel like i was robbed of having a good sexual life because i got it from my first time and at such a young age.
I know exactly how you feel.... I was raped more than once when I was 14..... I am 25 now and always have felt that i was robbed of an exciting sex life. My b/f now has unprotected sex with me but will not do oral period. Although I havent had an outbreak in about 8 years I was robbed of my innocence and still feel disgusted about myself to this day.... You have your good days and your bad days, but you just learn to deal with it....you dont really have a choice !! By tha way my b/f has not gotten it and we have been together for 3 years now.
With the HIV virus this is true. With herpes it is not.
Herpes does not pass through latex, while HIV may.
If the person who made that post actually had anything to do with an "AIDS research project"(which I strongly doubt), I wouldn't believe any of the results...any credibility it may have had just went right out the window when he/she so perfectly illustrated their ignorance in so many areas in just a couple of short sentences, and in the same breath claimed to have worked on a medical research project.
My ROFLcopter goes *wichawichawichawicha*
/facepalm
Hello - My boyfriend has genital HSV1 but I tested negative for both HSV1 and HSV2. Now, I am reading all about herpes and feeling bewildered. If a woman contracts herpes genitally, what are the symptoms, how painful are they and how long do they last? My boyfriend was dishonest about his condition, making it doubly hard for me to accept the situation. I understand the fear of rejection, but I wish he had not lied to me because I now have to wonder if I could trust him enough to tell me he was having an outbreak. I certainly don't want to get something on my tongue, in my mouth, or internally within the vaginal area. Can you advise?
I'm not a doctor, but from my research, if someone has HSV1 in the genital area (instead of the more common HSV2, which was traditionally the genital type herpes), then outbreaks in the genital area are usually less frequent and less intense as HSV1's "home" was typically an oral herpes. However, that said, you are able to catch this whether or not he has an active outbreak due to the possibility of "viral shedding", which is completely asymptomatic... he woudl not know when or if he was shedding the virus. I caught HSV2 from my husband when we were married, and i did not handle it well for many years. Given the opportunity to go back in time, I would certainly not expose myself to it again. I just didn't have the information that is out there today, and was told my a doctor that I wouldn't catch it as long as we did not have sex during an outbreak.... it took a bit of enjoyment out of sex b/c I always had the worry in the back of my mind that he perhaps didn't check closely enough etc... but probably what happened to me was the result of viral shedding.
Since marriages are only 50/50 in their statistical ability to stick... I would evaluate your feelings of what you would feel like if you caught it and then you broke up w/ your boyfriend... it is a grim thought, but it is very possible. You sound particularly upset b/c your bf did not provide you information honestly and has left you with a lot of unanswered questions, to flounder through doing all your own research while he is not participating. I can understand why you would be concerned. Ultimately, you will need to decide if this relationship has the merit to continue whether you caught the herpes or not.
I have herpes, am now divorced and would not do it again if given the opportunity...however I do manage it now w/ Acyclovir. The last two people that I have dated have actually already had it (and they were very professional and financially successful people)...however it would be very uncomfortable still for me to consider having a relationship w/ someone who did not have it. I have not been faced w/ that yet, but I don't really want to. I would not want to expose someone to that risk. And I would certainly provide them with all the current facts, risks and information if I did.... In my opinion, it would be irresponsible & selfish and show that I really didn't have the other person's health or future interests at heart if I didn't. However, every relationship is different, and needs to be evaluated on the strength and committment there.
I hope this helps....
hi, im a 14 year old boy, and found out i have genital herpes, im terrified, wondering if there is a chance my gf couold give me oral sex w/o her getting oral herpes..please answer asap
Your gf could certainly catch it orally if she gave you oral sex. She could also catch it genitally w/ sex. It is a very contageous virus, and can be spread whether you have an active outbreak or not. Please do your research and do not spread this to people who do not know their risks. You should wear a condom even if you do not have an active outbreak for any type of sex w/ someone who does not have this viurs already. As you know, it is a life changing situation and it is not fair to mess up someone else's sex life by not telling them and protecting them. Condoms are not 100% effective, but certainly minimize your risk of transmission. You should not have sex during an outbreak even w/ a condom.... but use a condom for sex, oral or otherwise, at all other times.
Do lots of research to educate yourself so you alleviate your fears. It is a managable conditon, but takes some extra work and honesty. There is a good site on webmd.com and as I remember there is a place for question/answer forum which is very good and medically sound. You have to be careful as there are tons of places for information that is not actually correct.
Above all, be honest and do not expose someone to this without full disclosure!!
ive been with this guy for about 4 month, last month we had unprotected sex and about a week later i had an outbreak.. i was ashamed, hurt, i felt stupid i wanted to hate him but cudnt.. it was part my fault right.. but him on the other hand , hes been very concerned, warm,.. wat i mean he wasnt hateful he wasnt over reactive.. he helped me cuz i was about to kill myself i thought my life was over.. the bad part about this is he says he doesnt have herpes n didnt have a cold sore at that time. and i wasnt sexualy active with any1 else but him.. i asked him to get a test done he has agreed but i dont want to feel like im pressuring him.. wat do i do.. i think its mentally killing me cuz i kno he gave it to me but he doesnt haVE ANY SIGNS OF IT..
i think you're totally right for asking him to get a test...herpes can remain dormant and many people don't actually show symptoms, so it is possible for him to have it without knowing. i just found out today that I have it. i know it's possible for someone to get it if they give me oral sex, but i was wondering if anyone knows if i can give it to someone else if i give them oral when i don't have a cold sore?? i've been researching but i can't seem to find anything on that anywhere.
Hi Melody and others
I was diagnosed with GH in 07. I have been dating this guy for 5 years now. In 06 I was raped. I went to MD to get tested for STD everything was negative. six month later I had an outbreak and tested positive. the guy Ibeen seeing for 5 years have been having some open sores on him he told me it was due to real dry skin. he was having this open sore on and off without telling me until after I happen to notice it one day. I was so hurt. He has been very supportive thru the process. I wonder why is it really love or he kno he gave it to me. I have been trying to get him to go get tested but he refuses and also refuses to use a condom. So if he has it is the question. I have been dealing with an outbreak monthly with my cycle. Very miserable. I kno when I get ready to have an outbreak. I have to take medication to prevent it. I take acyclovir on a daily basis I havent had an outbreak since july due to the med, but I do have symptoms. The guy that raped me we broke up in 05 and we had been dating for ten years. I dont understand why people do such thing. I feel like I'm stuck with him cause I'm afraid of being alone and rejection. Just lost and confused, Dont understand why he cant get tested. do you think that by him having it possible is why I repeated have an outbreak.
Hi my name is Holly and i am 17 years old.
i have been dating this guy for about a month now and we have had sex a couple of times. after i had gotten my period a single open sore popped up and then the next day there were many open sores.
there are some that are blisters some that are open sores and some that are hard. and they are around my vagina and rectum.
there has been occasional white almost bubbly like discharge and if i urinate on any of the sores it burns like crazy.
could this be herpes?
if it is herpes wouldnt i have it on my mouth seeing that i gave him oral.
im 16 and found out today that i have herpes type 1.
i lost my virginity in june, something i deffinetly regret.
i dont talk to te person and he did me wrong in so many ways..
since then unfortuently ive been trying to find someeone to "love me"
not going to happen with sex...
i know.
but on to the problem..
i have sex with one guy on the 19th and another on the 22nd.
ive had pretected sex with guy #1 before
and protected and unprotected with #2.
i told #2 today right after i found out
he is getting tested tomorrow.
i am very aware that he is going to not want a relationship with me if he doesnt have it. and i would never want him to have it..
i wouldnt want someone in this pain,
physically or emotionally..
but what are the chances that it is the other guy?!
i didnt even think about this until now!
its almost 3 am and im supposed to be up at 7.
i cant sleep and im so worried.
guy #2 is a great guy and i really don't want to loose him..
what should i do.
Hello - My boyfriend has genital HSV1 but I tested negative for both HSV1 and HSV2. He has only had one outbreak though. Now, I am reading all about herpes and feeling bewildered. If a woman contracts herpes genitally, what are the symptoms, how painful are they and how long do they last? My boyfriend was dishonest about his condition, making it doubly hard for me to accept the situation. I understand the fear of rejection, but I wish he had not lied to me . I certainly don't want to get something on my tongue, in my mouth, or internally within the vaginal area. Can you advise me of your experience so I know what to expect if I get it?
The fact that he lied to u was very wrong.... but of course he could of been afraid of rejection. So my advise to u is think hard about your relationship and really ask yourself if u like this person enough to put yourself in risk. Remember u can always get herpes if u are having intercourse. i mean if u love this person u will be able to forgive him and continue a nice and healthy relationship, but u really need to be sure of your feeling's. It's not the end of the world because having genital herpes can be controlled, thank god. so just be sure of yourself and ur decision and never make him feel anyless cause it could have been the other way around. hope i was of any help to you. 
GOOD LUCK.........
hello everyone,just wanted to share my experience.... well i've been married for three years, just recently my husband and I were having sex all of a sudden i felt uncomtrable... i thouhgt it was weird cause I had never felt that way before, it was itchty and irritating... so it continued for about 3 more days until it got to the point i felt scared... So I went to the dr. he did a paps and said it look like herpes. My heart dropped did not know what to think..first thing i thought was who has my husband been with, i thought the worst.... could not believe after being married for so long I could have a std. After the exam he said he would get back to me in about ten days.
Two days after he personally called me to say that I had genital herpes.. oh god... did not know how to react was scared, angry, ashamed, and felt very humiliated. Dr explained to me the different ways of having a breakout, he said to not blame my husband cause I could of came accross it a long time ago or him it would be hard to say who gave it to who when any of us had never had any breakouts before.... but I have to admit I had been going through a lot of stress at that time..... anyway's I have to say in result's of the bad new's my husband was very supportive and understanding, not one day has he made me feel bad. He say's he love's me and can't wait to start a family..... love him he is awesome......
I just found out a day ago that my boyfriend of 7 years has type 2 and the possiblity of me having it is up the roof, he came and told me himself because he had gone to the doctor and he wanted to take me to get tested, now in the course of our relationship we have had our many ups and downs, we have been broken up for a few months at a time, and even though i never had sex with anyone else i still would get tested just in case he would have sex durring our off times. we just got back together for good, 4 months ago and prior to us getting back together he slept with someone else, and he told me about it, but it turns out he got it from that partner, now my boyfriend and i haven't had protected sex in years and by the time he found out and told me i feel like it was already too late for me. now i haven't gone to the clinic yet because i'm afraid of the enivitible, because i look at the time lines and they all add up i'm sure i have type 2 because a couple of weeks ago i had gotten little bumps and sores around my genitals and i thought it could be razor bumps but now that he told me this i have no other option, i beileve that i got it from him, and i'm so scared, he told me that if it turns out that i don't have it, that he will leave me alone, because he thinks that he sunk the to lowest in risking my health and my well being, and he doesn't wanna infect me, and he doesn't wanna hurt me, i know he is despretely sorry, his brother had to prevent him from hurting him self when he found out because he was at the point of becoming suicidel, he's punched walls to the point of breaking his hand, gotten drunk, because he's afriad of loosing me and infecting me, i know he loves me and i do believe he's sorry for his actions in infecting me, but i can't seem to cope yet, i love him and i told him i won't leave him because of this, we have been together for so long and even though i'm hurt, pissed, upset, digusted, and even more depressed about everything idk what to do, i'm scared that even though it turns out that i do have it, that maybe we will strive together and if we don't? what do i do then, how will i be able to tell someone else that i may get involved with. i'm so scared i'm only 22 and i plan on having children one day, i'm afraid. all i do is cry and i keep reading up on this virus, he's been supporting me and trying to be there for me, but idk what to do, a part of me loves him and wants to still be with him but another part of me is angry for his careless act, i mean i know we weren't dating at that small period, but he lied to me when he said he had gotten tested earlier when he didn't. idk what to do. everything feels so surreal.
I just found out a day ago that my boyfriend of 7 years has type 2 and the possiblity of me having it is up the roof, he came and told me himself because he had gone to the doctor and he wanted to take me to get tested, now in the course of our relationship we have had our many ups and downs, we have been broken up for a few months at a time, and even though i never had sex with anyone else i still would get tested just in case he would have sex durring our off times. we just got back together for good, 4 months ago and prior to us getting back together he slept with someone else, and he told me about it, but it turns out he got it from that partner, now my boyfriend and i haven't had protected sex in years and by the time he found out and told me i feel like it was already too late for me. now i haven't gone to the clinic yet because i'm afraid of the enivitible, because i look at the time lines and they all add up i'm sure i have type 2 because a couple of weeks ago i had gotten little bumps and sores around my genitals and i thought it could be razor bumps but now that he told me this i have no other option, i beileve that i got it from him, and i'm so scared, he told me that if it turns out that i don't have it, that he will leave me alone, because he thinks that he sunk the to lowest in risking my health and my well being, and he doesn't wanna infect me, and he doesn't wanna hurt me, i know he is despretely sorry, his brother had to prevent him from hurting him self when he found out because he was at the point of becoming suicidel, he's punched walls to the point of breaking his hand, gotten drunk, because he's afriad of loosing me and infecting me, i know he loves me and i do believe he's sorry for his actions in infecting me, but i can't seem to cope yet, i love him and i told him i won't leave him because of this, we have been together for so long and even though i'm hurt, pissed, upset, digusted, and even more depressed about everything idk what to do, i'm scared that even though it turns out that i do have it, that maybe we will strive together and if we don't? what do i do then, how will i be able to tell someone else that i may get involved with. i'm so scared i'm only 22 and i plan on having children one day, i'm afraid. all i do is cry and i keep reading up on this virus, he's been supporting me and trying to be there for me, but idk what to do, a part of me loves him and wants to still be with him but another part of me is angry for his careless act, i mean i know we weren't dating at that small period, but he lied to me when he said he had gotten tested earlier when he didn't. idk what to do. everything feels so surreal.
i understand your feelings but even if he was tested theres a chance he could still have it, if you dont have an outbreak while being tested you cant tell it doesnt show up the only way it will show up with or without an outbreak is a blood test so you could of had it for years and just never realized it cuz you didnt have an outbreakk
i recently found out i have herpes 2 and ive been with my bf for 2 years i have not slept with anyone else while with him i dont understand when i came home from the doctor i was crying and i told him that hes been cheating on me because i came up possitive with herpes and he didnt even argue with me i have a feeling he either knew he had it or he slept with someone else im soo confused because hes a type of guy that would probably try to kill me if i told him i have and std and he didnt he actually handeled it well what should i think please help
Hey understand your pain. I found out 4months ago I was dealing with this guy we had protected sex but unprotected when it came to oral. I broke it off with him cause I had found a boyfriend and we were together for a month and then we broke up. I started talkin back to the other guy we fooled around and well I should say we had unprotected sex which didn't last for 5mins cause I said he didn't have a condom. So I ended up breaking it off with him again and got back with my ex. We starting having sex again and then its started irritating me and my private was always red and inflamed. I went on vacation and all I wanted to do was sleep and didn't want to do anything else. On top of that I kept having to urinate and it hurt cause it felt like I was holding it and I wasn't so I had assume I just had a urinary tract infection. The next day when I went to pee it burn and I notice a bump.. I thought of the worse. When I came back home from my trip I went to the doctors to get an exam. I went to the doc and had her look at me and she ran some test. She said you look find and I said know I don't I think I have gential herpes. She looked at it and touched it and I said that hurt. She said you have herpes but I'm going to run a test to confirm. When she came back and told me I was like ok and she left out the room. When she left all I could do was cry and I was so hurt and thought I did everything to protect myself by getting check ups everytime I dealt with somebody new. I said I'm only 25 with know kids who in the hell is going to want to be with me now. So when I left I called my boyfriend crying and was afraid to tell him. I asked him to meet me at my house he wouldn't. I finally told him and he was in shock. He went to the doc and they say he didn't have it so he assumed I was cheatin. I asked the other guy I dealt with prior that he needed to get tested. He said there's nothing wrong with me. I never told him I had it because he was acting as if he was disease free. I believe he gave it to me. So my boyfriend broke up with me I was depress not eating and didn't want to do anything not even sex I was going to give it all up... I finally found someone that loves me for me and I told him flat out before he could even think about taking my clothes off. He was understanding... Yea its going to hurt for a while and then you wil come to realization its apart of your life now... I haven't had and outnreak visibily but I know I have. I don't want him to get it though I'm scared of that and now were trying to have a baby.
there is so may ppl out there who thinks that they no everything about herpes when in reality they no nothing at all. i was on this website the other day and this women had posted a comment saying how herpes can cause birth defects and miscarriages. thats total bogus! if you dont know what your talking about do not put it on the internet for teenage girls to read all it does is terrify them, if you read something make sure you check with your dr the internet is full of brainless ppl spreading lies...
All I know is, my girlfriend has herpes and I don't and I absolutely love to go down on her and have been doing so for a year and a half and I'm totally herpes free. I'm not stupid, and wouldn't do it when she has visible symptoms but in my experience I can honestly say it's fine.
Wow that is good to hear. If you don't mind me asking, how long has your girlfriend had herpes? How many outbreaks? I am in the same boat as you were/are. I've been dating this girl that i absolutely adore for about 3 weeks. No sex or oral sex yet. Just kissing and stuff. She told me about it last night. She said she contracted it in 2002 and has only had 1 outbreak since (2005). I really want to eventually go down on her. So hopefully i will have the same luck as you!
I had sex for five days with a girl that has it and she didn't tell me the doctor says to call him back I need a perscriprion she says she has never had a outbreak and I prolly don't have it there is a chance of a ua infection but dought it what are the chances i have it the clinic is closed up all night tonight :(....
man im in the same boat my man would kill me but would beat me to death before he did and i havent even bin tested yet but i think i have it im n denile and its killing me bad i have the sores and everything and what gets me is i just had a baby 3years ago thats why im going to the doctor this week to find out and if i do to deal with it and im only 20years old this sucks
If this person is violent and you have reason to believe he is a threat to your life for ANY reason get away from this person immediately, and definitely don't tell him you THINK you may have Herpes or anything else. When you find out for sure it is your business as you will be not sleeping with him any further anyway. Your life is far more important than his "rights" ok?!.
I recently found out that me and my bf have herpes. Is it okay to have sex with him even if one of us, if not both of us has an outbreak?
I found out in November 2009 that I was infected with Herpes, the first and only time I decided to have unprotected sex. I knew that semen was an issue. Broken skin or shedding weren't things that I was aware of as additional medical problems. Well, it's water under the bridge.
I've followed the therapy the first three months but realize that the symptoms and infection will be with me always. I'm trying to stay stress free, clean, out of the sun, eat right (garlic-if that helps) and, most importantly, learn to accept the condition and practice safe sex. I'll miss having oral but this is just a flesh wound. I'm grateful to be alive. I just have to make some adjustments and hope whomever comes in my life is understanding and willing to work with me.
I believe a cure is around the corner. With all the developments and medical discoveries that are happening on a daily basis, ways to prevent or curb the infection of Herpes and other diseases will come to pass. And, it will just be a chapter in our lives.
In the meantime, stay strong and live your life with purpose.
I WAS I DIAGNOSED WITH GENITAL HERPES RECENTLY IM LOOSING MY MIND RIGHT NOT ALOT OF DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY IN MY MIND I DONT CARE IF I DIE... SUICIDAL THOUGHTS HAVE BEEN RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND ALL DAY. CANT SLEEP AT NIGHT IM TAKING THIS MEDICINE BY THE NAME OF ( ACYCLOVIR) IVE BEEN WITH MY GIRLFRIEND FOR ALMOST 3 YEARS I CANT TELL HER AT ALL BUT WE HAVNT HAD UNPROTECTED SEX THE WHOLE 3 YEARS AND IM ALMOST 100% SURE I DIDNT INFECT HER BECAUSE WE RARELTY SEE EACHOTHA I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO IM LOOSING IT FOR REAL IF YOU HAVING A SIMILIAR PROBLEM EMAIL ME AT tjack1101@gmail.com please
I WAS I DIAGNOSED WITH GENITAL HERPES RECENTLY IM LOOSING MY MIND RIGHT NOT ALOT OF DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY IN MY MIND I DONT CARE IF I DIE... SUICIDAL THOUGHTS HAVE BEEN RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND ALL DAY. CANT SLEEP AT NIGHT IM TAKING THIS MEDICINE BY THE NAME OF ( ACYCLOVIR) IVE BEEN WITH MY GIRLFRIEND FOR ALMOST 3 YEARS I CANT TELL HER AT ALL BUT WE HAVNT HAD UNPROTECTED SEX THE WHOLE 3 YEARS AND IM ALMOST 100% SURE I DIDNT INFECT HER BECAUSE WE RARELTY SEE EACHOTHA I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO IM LOOSING IT FOR REAL IF YOU HAVING A SIMILIAR PROBLEM EMAIL ME AT tjack1101@gmail.com please
As a man who has had HSV2 for over 30 years, I'm going to share some important information with all you:
* It's not the end of the world but it definitely changes your sexual world. You need to learn to accept that you have it and learn how to manage it. There are millions of potential partners (I believe the statistics are now 1 out of every 4 or 5 people have HSV2) who also have HSV2 and there are probably a dozen dating websites you can join (many are free) to meet and potentially date and possibly even fall in love with someone who also may have HSV2.
* You can manage HSV2 with prescription antiviral medications such as Valtrex which recently became available as a generic called Valacyclovir and can be available with insurance for as little as $5.00 per month. You can take one a day regularly so that you don't get break-outs as often (it reduces the break-outs by as much as 75% a year so if you're getting 4 break-outs a year, you could cut it down to 1 or even less) or you can keep it handy and only take a couple a day when you have a break-out and that dramatically reduces the length of the break-out.
* De-Stress as much as possible. Stress is a very real catalyst for an break out. Adjust your lifestyle with the right foods and exercise to help keep your immune system as strong as it can be. HSV2 is a virus - it's like a cold and you're more likely to get sick when your immune system is weakened. Learn what to eat and what not to eat. Also, stay in tune with your body and learn the symptoms of a pending or current outbreak. If you feel an itching or burning in your genital region, then there's reason to suspect that you may be about to start an break out. If you're on Valtrex, up your dossage immediately as prescribed by your MD as soon as you feel like you may be getting the blisters.
* You'll still need to practice safe sex even on medication so if you're on Valtrex or some other antiviral med, using condoms reduces the risk of spreading HSV2 to practically zero. But you're not only contagious when you're having an active break out. There is a "shedding" period that can easily go undetected if you're not in tune with your body. Watching for "cold symptoms" can help ID those times and potential break out periods as well. Again, start learning the "signs" of a pending break out so you can take action against it either with rest, excersice and diet or with those things and an antiviral medication.
* Try to stay positive. If you've just contracted HSV2, consider yourself luckier then people who have had it for the last 30 or 40 years because right now medical science is closer to a vaccine and possibly a cure then ever before. There are actually clinical tests going on with volunteers using vaccines that have completely prevented HSV2 in test animals. In some cases, these vaccines are even being looked at as potential "cures" for the virus. It could be 5 years before it gets FDA approval but there's also a chance it could get approved faster since HSV2 is spreading so rapidly.
* It really is NOT the end of the world and as long as you don't have an immune system which is severely compromised by something like HIV then it's not going to kill you - HSV2 is an inconveniece but it can also be less of an inconvenience then even having HSV1 which can produce severe and unsightly outbreaks around a person's mouth (cold sores) - almost 80% or more of the population already has HSV1 and how do we all deal with that? We just stop kissing others when we get a cold sore so we don't spread it. You'll have an HSV2 outbreak now and then (much less on antivirals) and NO ONE except your sexual partner ever has to know.
* Be honest with anyone you're romantically interested in. If someone falls in love with you and you with them, then you care about their health, too. Be completely honest about HSV2 and the risks to them. Explain that with medications and safe sex practices, the risk can be "negligible" to them but there is still a risk for them. If the relationship is meant to be then it will still be, even with the HSV2. How do I know? Because I fell in love with and married a non-HSV2 woman who I was completely honest with and who love me and married me regardless of the HSV2.
Your life is not over now that you have HSV2 - it's just beginning again in a different way. You really can use HSV2 to your advantage because you'll be more selective in your dating habits and perhaps not find yourself getting emotionally hurt so often. Because you won't want to spread HSV2, you may even find yourself seeking a more serious, loving relationship with someone and so you'll find yourself evaluating more from a "do I really care about this person enough to share my HSV2 "secret" with them? Is this relationship really worth pursuing?" You'll try harder to control your stress which will help your general health and you'll find yourself eating better, exercising and just generally taking better care of yourself in order to avoid dealing with breakouts.
Just remember, there are a lot worse health challenges you could be facing the HSV2. You'll do fine and just keep remembering that a vaccine or maybe even a cure is practically "around the corner" and when everyone else is vaccinated, it will open up more options for you and really just reduce the breakouts to even more of just a very personal inconvenience.
I hope this post has helped you. May God bless you always.
A Friend
I was recently diagnosed and i have been having emotional issues, I feel like im gonna lose my mind. I feel like i want to hurt the person who did this to me. && I just dnt know what to do at this point, dealing with the fact that there isnt too much to can do and my grandma cant help me make this go away is the worse part...... I need help!
I just found out yesterday that I have GH. I had a bump appear on the outside of my vaginal lip and I figured it was an ingrown hair. It was irritable but it wasn't incredibly painful or anything what I have heard an outbreak was supposed to be. I think my ex-boyfriend gave it to me but I can't be sure as I didn't have a breakout when we were together. It is only now, 5 months after we split up, that I am experiencing this.
Needless to say, I was really in shock when I heard the doctor say that my culture tested positive for GH. I can definitely tell you that I feel very different about myself now. I feel dirty. That's the only word for it. I do not sleep around and I don't feel like I should have to pay for HIS mistakes. The one terrible mistake I made was not insisting on a condom.
I am distraught over this but I do have to say that life goes on. I realize now that the one silver lining coming out of this is that it makes me that much more ready to settle down. I also think that having this disease will weed out any potential partner that isn't going to see you through the tough times. It's scary out there.
I FEEL LIKE KILLIN MYSELF...I DONT UNDERSTANG HOW I GOT THIS N MY BOYFRIEND SAID HE NEVA CHEATED ON ME N HE IS THE ONLY PERSON I DONT USE CONDOMS WITH...MY WORLD IS UP SIDE DOWN I DONT KNOW HOW IM GOIN 2 GET THRU THIS I CANT STOP CRYIN IM JUST VERY UPSET.....I WANTED KIDS SOME DAY NOW I DONT BECAUSE I DONT WANT 2 GIVE IT 2 THEM....I'M JUST SO SAD I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED KIDS NOW I CAN'T....IM CRYIN JUST WRITEN THIS I DONT KNOW WAT TO DO WITH MYSELF.HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPP...I WISH I COULD JUST MAKE THIS GO AWAYS
TO EVERYONE WHO HAS HERPES!!!!!! I HAVE HAD HERPES FOR 10 YRS NOW, TAKING THE USUAL MEDS, GENERIC FOR VALTREX. IT DIDN'T WORK...I STILL HAD OUTBREAKS ONCE A MONTH AND ALWAYS ITCHY!!!! MY HUSBAND AND I ARE IN TO HOLISTIC HEALING, SO I DID A LOT OF RESEARCH AND FOUND THE BERRY, CAMU CAMU. LET ME TELL YOU, THIS WORKS WONDERS!!!! I HAVE EVEN STOPPED TAKING MY PRESCRIBED MEDS!! I'VE BEEN ON CAMU CAMU FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS,AND SO HAPPY TO SAY I AM OUTBREAK FREE!!! I AM NOT A SPOKESPERSON, I'M JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE WITH GH, AND WAS TIRED OF GETTING OUTBREAKS!! AND ANY MAN WHO CANNOT ACCEPT YOU NO MATTER WHAT...THEY'RE NOT FOR YOU!!!! THIS REALLY DOES MAKE GH MANAGEABLE! DO YOU'RE RESEARCH, LEARN ALL YOU CAN AND EDUCATE THE PERSON YOU'RE WITH...TAKE THEM TO YOUR DOCTOR AND HAVE THEM TALK TO THEM. IT WILL BE OK, I PROMISE...JUST DON'T EVER EVER SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WITHOUT TELLING THEM FIRST, EVERYONE DESERVES A CHOICE!! TAKE CARE!!
Thank you for this information! I have recently started dating a guy about 6 months ago that has GH. Weve been having sex for about 4 months when the guilt finally set in enough to tell me. There is quite an age difference between us. I am 20 and he is 40. He's had GH since he was 19. I really care about him but we've discussed how neither of us are ready for a serious relationship. In the past few months I've began caring more and more about him to where I would really like to be serious with him, but he doesn't seem to have the same feeling for me. I feel like he really cares for me but is somewhat damaged from a past marriage that keeps him from opening up and trying to be close with anyone. He has dated a few women since then and even felt like he could be serious with two of them. He told me he has always been very up front and honest with everyone about his GH before having sex that way they could decide if they were willing to take the risk or not. He also said no one ever seemed to let that keep them from having sex with him. For some reason with me, (the one he doesnt seem to be interested in have a relationship with) he waited 4 months to tell me about this. Giving me the option to continue taking the risk or not. I felt like why not take the risk now when apparently I've been at risk for the past 4 months without knowing, so why not continue. The only reason I'm contemplating not taking the risk anymore is because of how floored I was inside that he had kept something like this from me. Made me start doubting if he ever cared as much as I thought he did about my health and safety. We have used a condom everytime, and I havent had any symptoms or any outbreaks. He hasn't had an outbreak in about 2 yrs. My main concern is if I may have contracted it from giving him oral sex? Since that had been the only time I have had unprotected contact. Also, he said his break outs have always been at the bottom around the base and where the pubic area is instead of being on the head or shaft of the penis... So, I feel like even with a condom in this situation, it wouldn't really lower the risk of infecting me because during sex, alot of times that area comes in contact with my vagina quite frequently. He admits he has been under a lot of stress lately and is afraid to be as intimate with me as he usually is. He doesn't take valtrex or anything like that, but he does take some sort of vitamin that is suppose to be good for reducing outbreaks. He seemed to be very knowledgable about this virus and considering he's had this issue for about 21 yrs. I trust that he knows his body and knows the precautions needed to be taken to prevent giving this to me. I have already set up an appointment at a clinic to get tested for it and get checked for everything else as well. Only thing I'm really confused about is continuing to be sexually active with this person and just continuing to be careful. even though we both care for eachother a good amount, I dont see it turning into the serious loving relationship like I would like for it to. And if its not going to be more than what it is now, I don't feel like it would be worth continuing to risk my health for, especially since I am so young. Still have my whole life to live and a husband out there somewhere waiting to find me. Idk I'm just kind of in a stressful bind. I don't want to just drop something that could possibly be really great over something like this. I also feel that if you truly care for someone you accept them for it and try to deal with it together. At the same time, if he really cared for me the same way I do for him he would've told me before we ever had sexual contact like he did with the other girls he had dated in the past. Any suggestions on maybe how I should handle this situation would be greatly appreciated! I've pretty much been beating my head against the wall trying to figure out if he would be worth it or not?
Thank you for this information! I have recently started dating a guy about 6 months ago that has GH. Weve been having sex for about 4 months when the guilt finally set in enough to tell me. There is quite an age difference between us. I am 20 and he is 40. He's had GH since he was 19. I really care about him but we've discussed how neither of us are ready for a serious relationship. In the past few months I've began caring more and more about him to where I would really like to be serious with him, but he doesn't seem to have the same feeling for me. I feel like he really cares for me but is somewhat damaged from a past marriage that keeps him from opening up and trying to be close with anyone. He has dated a few women since then and even felt like he could be serious with two of them. He told me he has always been very up front and honest with everyone about his GH before having sex that way they could decide if they were willing to take the risk or not. He also said no one ever seemed to let that keep them from having sex with him. For some reason with me, (the one he doesnt seem to be interested in have a relationship with) he waited 4 months to tell me about this. Giving me the option to continue taking the risk or not. I felt like why not take the risk now when apparently I've been at risk for the past 4 months without knowing, so why not continue. The only reason I'm contemplating not taking the risk anymore is because of how floored I was inside that he had kept something like this from me. Made me start doubting if he ever cared as much as I thought he did about my health and safety. We have used a condom everytime, and I havent had any symptoms or any outbreaks. He hasn't had an outbreak in about 2 yrs. My main concern is if I may have contracted it from giving him oral sex? Since that had been the only time I have had unprotected contact. Also, he said his break outs have always been at the bottom around the base and where the pubic area is instead of being on the head or shaft of the penis... So, I feel like even with a condom in this situation, it wouldn't really lower the risk of infecting me because during sex, alot of times that area comes in contact with my vagina quite frequently. He admits he has been under a lot of stress lately and is afraid to be as intimate with me as he usually is. He doesn't take valtrex or anything like that, but he does take some sort of vitamin that is suppose to be good for reducing outbreaks. He seemed to be very knowledgable about this virus and considering he's had this issue for about 21 yrs. I trust that he knows his body and knows the precautions needed to be taken to prevent giving this to me. I have already set up an appointment at a clinic to get tested for it and get checked for everything else as well. Only thing I'm really confused about is continuing to be sexually active with this person and just continuing to be careful. even though we both care for eachother a good amount, I dont see it turning into the serious loving relationship like I would like for it to. And if its not going to be more than what it is now, I don't feel like it would be worth continuing to risk my health for, especially since I am so young. Still have my whole life to live and a husband out there somewhere waiting to find me. Idk I'm just kind of in a stressful bind. I don't want to just drop something that could possibly be really great over something like this. I also feel that if you truly care for someone you accept them for it and try to deal with it together. At the same time, if he really cared for me the same way I do for him he would've told me before we ever had sexual contact like he did with the other girls he had dated in the past. Any suggestions on maybe how I should handle this situation would be greatly appreciated! I've pretty much been beating my head against the wall trying to figure out if he would be worth it or not?
Hey guys i could really use some good advice here. I recently started dating this girl and she is absolutely wonderful. We've been seeing each other every day for about 3 weeks. We have not had sex yet and last night she told me that she has herpes. I was obviously devastated but i don't want to lose her. She told me that she 1st contracted herpes in 2002 and has only had 1 re-currance in 2005. So my question is this. How safe is it for us to have oral sex? If i perform oral sex on her am i guaranteed to get herpes? Or does there have to be symptoms currently present? Any information anybody can give me would be greatly appreciated. I really like this girl but at the same time i want to do everything i can to avoid contracting herpes. Thanks!
im 16 years old, and had sex with 2 guys. my first was a virgin, however i ound out his father did "stuff" to him as a young child.. i don't exactly know what though, but we still used a condom both times!!. my second partner (who i am still with and hopefully will always be with) was not a virgin, but he only had sex with one other girl and she was a virgin and they usd a condom. me and my bf have had sex for more than half a year before i had an outbreak. it was the most unbarable thing to go through in my life. I had apsolutly no idea what was wrong, i figured i just had some type of infection, or maybe it could be an irratation from shaving down there and i got painful razor bumbs haha. anyways it was getting to the point where it hurt to sit, hurt to wear anything but sweats, hurt to wipe, hurt to even walk! i had my mom take me to the doctor, and she told me that she was almost positive that it was a type of herpes, but she wouldnt be sure until she took a swab/blood test thingy. and damn!! was that painful!! when she told me she was 99% sure it was herpes i lost control and started bawling my eyes out. i know it is not the end of the world, i just couldn't believe i had it. i used condoms everytime exept for a few times with my bf. i know for a fact he never cheated on me and i never cheated on him. i just couldnt understand how i got it. i asked my first, if he ever had a cold sore or any other type of herpes, and he said after every girl he has been with he got himself checked and the results always came out negative. and my bf got tested a few months after we had sex for the first time and didnt have the virus. anyways, the results came in the next day and it was herpes type 1. i was relieved to know it was type 1 vs. type 2 because my doctor had told me if i had type 2 i would need a sea-section whenever i have kids. but what i never really understood sence ive been dignosed with the virus, is that my gynocologist tested me a few months before i had an outbreak and i was free of all std's. i wish i knew how i got it, but i guesss i'll never know for sure. but i got some anti-viral medicine for the outbreak and haven't had one sence. it scares me knowing i can have another one at anytime, but i have a great guy that understands it's a common thing and does not judge me at all, so i know i'll be just fine. and so will all of you! because there will always be someone out there for you that will exept you for u and take u as you are. it's sad that people fail to be understanding when it comes to such. over 50% of people have herpes type 1. it's just a simple cold sore! and you don't nesasarily get herpes type 2 by being a whore and sleeping with guys after guys or girls after girls. you can get it your first time, and it's not like you chose to get it either!
im 16 years old, and had sex with 2 guys. my first was a virgin, however i ound out his father did "stuff" to him as a young child.. i don't exactly know what though, but we still used a condom both times!!. my second partner (who i am still with and hopefully will always be with) was not a virgin, but he only had sex with one other girl and she was a virgin and they usd a condom. me and my bf have had sex for more than half a year before i had an outbreak. it was the most unbarable thing to go through in my life. I had apsolutly no idea what was wrong, i figured i just had some type of infection, or maybe it could be an irratation from shaving down there and i got painful razor bumbs haha. anyways it was getting to the point where it hurt to sit, hurt to wear anything but sweats, hurt to wipe, hurt to even walk! i had my mom take me to the doctor, and she told me that she was almost positive that it was a type of herpes, but she wouldnt be sure until she took a swab/blood test thingy. and damn!! was that painful!! when she told me she was 99% sure it was herpes i lost control and started bawling my eyes out. i know it is not the end of the world, i just couldn't believe i had it. i used condoms everytime exept for a few times with my bf. i know for a fact he never cheated on me and i never cheated on him. i just couldnt understand how i got it. i asked my first, if he ever had a cold sore or any other type of herpes, and he said after every girl he has been with he got himself checked and the results always came out negative. and my bf got tested a few months after we had sex for the first time and didnt have the virus. anyways, the results came in the next day and it was herpes type 1. i was relieved to know it was type 1 vs. type 2 because my doctor had told me if i had type 2 i would need a sea-section whenever i have kids. but what i never really understood sence ive been dignosed with the virus, is that my gynocologist tested me a few months before i had an outbreak and i was free of all std's. i wish i knew how i got it, but i guesss i'll never know for sure. but i got some anti-viral medicine for the outbreak and haven't had one sence. it scares me knowing i can have another one at anytime, but i have a great guy that understands it's a common thing and does not judge me at all, so i know i'll be just fine. and so will all of you! because there will always be someone out there for you that will exept you for u and take u as you are. it's sad that people fail to be understanding when it comes to such. over 50% of people have herpes type 1. it's just a simple cold sore! and you don't nesasarily get herpes type 2 by being a whore and sleeping with guys after guys or girls after girls. you can get it your first time, and it's not like you chose to get it either!
i was just recently diagnosed about a week ago.i sat in the doctors office crying for 30minutes straight thinking to myself how could someone i trusted so much ruin my life like this. after i told the guy i contracted it from him since he was the only one i was with he completly ignored me. he claimed he had got tested and named off 4 diffrent things he got tested for and herpes wasnt one of them. im thinking to myself im 19 years old no kids and living with herpes. i wanted to die, i felt like why me and i never thought i would ever get married or even meet a man who wants to be with me but after coming to realization with this, ive learned to respect myself more and be cautious so no one else would have to go thru what ive went through
im 19 and was just diagnosed with hsv-2 by a lying cheating jerk who should have his male parts removed. ive really been feeling sad,depressed,dirty and unwanted but i want to say thanks to everyone who has left a comment on this page you all are amazing and have great bravery to share your stories and alot of them have made me feel so much better. i guess since i was first diagnosed ive been feeling like im the only person in the world with this. i feel so much better knowing im not alone, people my age and some who are older have made me feel alot more educated and aware of my feeling about this condtioion i just wanna say thanks to you all and everyone who has left a comment is super
Hi i have herpes...im 25 years old i found out 3 months ago..at first i felt like i would die but then my best friend told me he had it and he helped me get through it. Not to mention i have sex still also but i protect myself and i dont have sex when i have a out break. I also have a very supportive family who knws i have it and guess what??? ALOT OF MY FAMILY HAS IT ALSO! Who wouldve thought it??? Just knw that at the end of the day you are NOT ALONE and you are still normal. Also dont forget that the one for you will always love you and cope with this...at least its not anything worse. If anything be more smart...I also suggest that if you have any questions about oral sex to talk to your doctor and not listen to anyone else because they know what you should and shouldnt do . Stay blessed...believe it or not this is truely a blessing you may not knw it now but God does everything for a reason and the lesson is to be safe ...now that you knw that you have it you dont have a choice but to be safer because there can always be something even worse than that. Stay blessed ...from one herpes girl to another stay strong !!!
I recently met a wonderful man who has GH. He was kind and respectful enough to tell me about his herpes before we became intimate. We are now going strong and are in a committed relationship. My question is it is ever ok to have sex without a condom? He has not had an outbreak in 3 years. He also has never given it to anyone. I know there is always that risk, even if he does not have any signs of an outbreak. His last long-term girlfriend was on the pill and he never gave her herpes after being together for 7 years.
I just think this is a person I am going to be with for a very long time. And using a condom every single time does not seem realistic. He has suggested we use condoms all the time because he doesn't want to put me at risk. But then we both realize the inevitable will happen. Right?
Thoughts?
my gf just told me about a week ago she has g.h. but we've been dating for almost 5 years i dont have it but since we've been dating for so long i dont see how she does and i don't im not ungrateful im definately blessed to not but neither of us has ever cheated on the other we were both denied love for so long we so we vowed to love each other as long as the other would allow it. prior to me she was married and has two beautiful daughters and her husband was a man whore he didnt want her and didn't want anyone else to be with her well as you can guess he cheated at every opportunity and she told me she contracted it from him. in the begining of our relationship we used condoms but as the years passed on we just go skin to skin sorry if thats to graphic but what im wondering is if i should stay with her she knew she had it and still was VERY sexual with me and to top it off she also told me she's still married to that a**hole i love her and her daughters with every ounce of goodness in my body what should i do???
I would just like to share my story with you all, I know how upsetting GH can be. In February 2007, I was at University at the time. It was just after exams. I had sex with my ex of 3 months and accidentally snapped my frenulum (the string bit at the end of the penis) there was blood everywhere. although I took great care of it, one day week later my ex and I were fooling around, she used her saliva and rubbed the area, basically giving me a hand job (sorry to be crude here), it only lasted around 10 seconds and didnt go beyond that ( no oral). But that was enough. Two days later I came down with the beginnings of GH, which I later found out (TWO years later) that it was HSV-1. I did visit the doctor at the time of the flair up, but it was only in it's early stages. He suggested the cut was infected and gave me antibiotics prescription to clear it up. I had no idea I was infected. Symptoms cleared up eventually 2 weeks later, around 4 days after finishing meds. Neither I nor my ex realised it was GH and just attributed it to general bacterial infection. Sure, I did do internet searches at the time, but tbh nothing ever leaped out at me and said it was GH. After all, my doctor said it was just a bacterial infection!! In school we were never made aware about genital HSV-1, never ever taught. I barely knew was herpes was at the time. I was 20. So I got caught out.
A few months later I met another girl. Had unprotected sex with her for a whole year, had an STI panel all came back negative! Or so we thought... two weeks after results, I came down with one hell of a tooth abscess, we still gad sex at the time and nothing happened. THEN two weeks later abscess came back again, I was doing fine, taking strong antibiotics, advised not to drink... what did I do... DRINK! half a pint, that's all! Next day I had swollen lymph nodes it was ohrrible, then two days later, so did she. I was utterly devastated, went through major depression, was suicidal, took a year out of university, it was BAD. My g/f mentally tortured me every day for 18 months, then I accidentally got a recurrence from doing something stupid (had V rough sex (with her), noticed a slight irritation, then that night masturbated and foreskin swelled up like a balloon all of a sudden, next day got paper-cuts not major open sores), anyway, got results through find out it's HSV-1 not HSV-2. She is a lot better now she knows I infected her with cold sores but she has MAJOR trust issues with me, althoughI never did even once cheat on her, I had been completely faithful. My ex who I got GH from was my first sexual partner and my first serous girlfriend ever! So I got majorly caught out :( I'm 90% over it these days, I realise that at my age, 55% of people have it in my country by stats. I also don't think I need to inform future partners at least immediately... if they ever went down on me, then i would take that as putting me potentially as risk of an sti, and though they dont realise it, it doesn't necessarily have to be up to me to inform her of a common virus - HSV-1, like HSV-2 should be severely destigmatised, they are, after all, only skin infections. I also think we are very close to a successful preventative, with the IMMUNOvex trials in London. Take care all, it does get a lot better to cope with mentally after some time.
hey i kno how u feel im pretty sure that i have genetial herpes and ever since finding out i have not have sex for 3 yrs and have no one i would feel comfortable talking to. I too am a college student and i have no clue who gave it to me im guessing a girl that did not know they had it or they new and just did not care whitch i can not understand. I wish this upon no one...and that is why i have not be sexually active for 3 yrs. I mean i have to turn down girls or ignore them that i really liked because i dont even know how i would be able to tell them and again i absolutly hate the situation im in and i just want to make sure that i dont pass it on to some one else. this is the first time i have vented about this for 3 yrs becasue i want to change how i view my situation but i just dont kno how. The thought of passing it on to some one else for them to suffer as i have is unbearable. ive been managing by basically trying to forget about it and just forcusing on school.
I was diagnosed with herpes a year ago. I got it from my boyfriend. I had a really bad outbreak. I have not had any symptoms since then. I want to know if it is ABSOLUTELY necessary to tell any future partners should we break up. What are the chances of passing it to a guy if I am not showing ANY symptoms? What if I went on medication to prevent having symptoms, even though I haven't shown any since, then would I have to tell them? I'm only 21 and I know that if I were to tell someone, no matter how much I trusted them, my ENTIRE town would probably know about it and I'd be known as that dirty nasty girl with the std. That reputation would absolutely devastate me, like I would seriously feel like I had to move out of town. PLEASE HELP! Has anyone else NOT told their partner about it??? Please respond I am desperate :[
Felicia,
I'm 29 (male) and have had GH for a little over a year. I'm not saying what I do is right, but I'll share my side for you. If I have been dating someone for a little while and feel I can REALLY trust them, yes, I tell them before we get down in the rough ;) Now, this might suck because they're usually pretty cool with it for a while and then you get the whole "let's just be friends" or "we should wait a while; i wan't to get to know you first" spill. (and of course, no sex) Now, remember, I'm a guy. If you're a girl and cute, they will probably be cool with it and just want to be careful. Unless, they have it too! And you will be surprised how many people you know that already have it.
Now, if i'm out that night and have a one night stand, no, I don't tell them. (if I did the first time meeting them, there would be no one night stand) However, when this happens I am making sure i'm not having an outbreak, taking proper medication, and using condoms. Taking this into consideration, they have a better chance of winning the lottery than getting anything from me.
I hoped this helped you.
I was diagnosed around a month ago.. and hated myself at first i felt depressed and didnt know what to do.. I don't really know who i got it from but i think i have a good idea.. as a week before i had my first outbreak i slept with a male friend who i wasnt in a relationship with. I've only really just come to terms with the virus and really want things to go back to how they were before... Does having this virus mean my sex life will be at a stand still till i find a trustworthy partner? I'm scared I wont find anyone and will be without a sexual relationship till i do.
I can feel everyone's pain! It was Christmas Eve when I noticed two blisters on my vaginal area. I had a house full of people and I was in pain. I had to pretend like nothing was going on. On that Monday I went to the Dr and by Thursday I found out that it was positive. I will always remember this Christmas present!
I really would like to know where it came from. I have been dating this guy for about a month. The blisters showed up about 3 days after we had sex. But we had had sex a few times during the weeks before. He said he has never had this before and none of his ex's have ever told him anything. It has been over 2 years since I have had sex prior to him. I am so confused and so depressed. Is it possible that he never had any signs? Is it possible I had it from long ago? And the worst thing is now he really doesn't talk to me. He is suppose to go get tested this Friday and promises me he will give me the results. But then I wonder if he is positive, did he give it to me or did I give it to him.
I am desperate for answers that I may never know. Please tell me the depression will go away. Everything I read says that stress can cause outbreaks...I have one of the most stressful jobs ever...What does a woman do?
I got my daignosis a few weeks before Chrismas, so yeah, Merry freakin Christmas.
I'd been out of town for work, came home, and had sex with my husband. He had what he thought were tears on his penis, so he went to the doctor, but they weren't herpes sores. However, within a week, I was feverish, had chills, and ached all over. Saw my doctor and was diagnosed. I took a 10 day Rx of Valtrex, and all the symptoms cleared up within a week, but it was pretty painful. And a flood of emotions to deal with too, anger, hurt, disappointment, mbarassment, and humiliation.
My doctor told me that it is VERY possible that he has it, but has a strong natural immunity and is a carrier, or that he doesn't, but rough sex and stress triggered my outbreak. While most outbreaks occur within 2 days to a couple weeks after exposure, there are always exceptions.
It's hard to cope with, but it's not the end of the world. At this point, you need to decide where you want your relationship with this guy to go. Whether he has it or not, who gave it to whom, it irrelevant at this point. It's done. You need to decide how you want to move forward (and yes, easier said than done, I know). Do you want to continue seeing this guy? Do you trust him? Do you belive him? You can work through this, together or on your own.
I've been with my husband just over three years now, and we are both confident in our relationship, and neither one of us is concerned that the other was unfaithful. We will just have to deal with this, and move on.
The depression will pass, the anger will pass, and you will move on with your life, don't focus on this, or dwell on it.
Good luck. I'm right there with you.
TO EVERYONE WHO HAS HERPES!!!!!! I HAVE HAD HERPES FOR 10 YRS NOW, TAKING THE USUAL MEDS, GENERIC FOR VALTREX. IT DIDN'T WORK...I STILL HAD OUTBREAKS ONCE A MONTH AND ALWAYS ITCHY!!!! MY HUSBAND AND I ARE IN TO HOLISTIC HEALING, SO I DID A LOT OF RESEARCH AND FOUND THE BERRY, CAMU CAMU. LET ME TELL YOU, THIS WORKS WONDERS!!!! I HAVE EVEN STOPPED TAKING MY PRESCRIBED MEDS!! I'VE BEEN ON CAMU CAMU FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS,AND SO HAPPY TO SAY I AM OUTBREAK FREE!!! I AM NOT A SPOKESPERSON, I'M JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE WITH GH, AND WAS TIRED OF GETTING OUTBREAKS!! AND ANY MAN WHO CANNOT ACCEPT YOU NO MATTER WHAT...THEY'RE NOT FOR YOU!!!! THIS REALLY DOES MAKE GH MANAGEABLE! DO YOU'RE RESEARCH, LEARN ALL YOU CAN AND EDUCATE THE PERSON YOU'RE WITH...TAKE THEM TO YOUR DOCTOR AND HAVE THEM TALK TO THEM. IT WILL BE OK, I PROMISE...JUST DON'T EVER EVER SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WITHOUT TELLING THEM FIRST, EVERYONE DESERVES A CHOICE!! TAKE CARE!!
TO EVERYONE WHO HAS HERPES!!!!!! I HAVE HAD HERPES FOR 10 YRS NOW, TAKING THE USUAL MEDS, GENERIC FOR VALTREX. IT DIDN'T WORK...I STILL HAD OUTBREAKS ONCE A MONTH AND ALWAYS ITCHY!!!! MY HUSBAND AND I ARE IN TO HOLISTIC HEALING, SO I DID A LOT OF RESEARCH AND FOUND THE BERRY, CAMU CAMU. LET ME TELL YOU, THIS WORKS WONDERS!!!! I HAVE EVEN STOPPED TAKING MY PRESCRIBED MEDS!! I'VE BEEN ON CAMU CAMU FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS,AND SO HAPPY TO SAY I AM OUTBREAK FREE!!! I AM NOT A SPOKESPERSON, I'M JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE WITH GH, AND WAS TIRED OF GETTING OUTBREAKS!! AND ANY MAN WHO CANNOT ACCEPT YOU NO MATTER WHAT...THEY'RE NOT FOR YOU!!!! THIS REALLY DOES MAKE GH MANAGEABLE! DO YOU'RE RESEARCH, LEARN ALL YOU CAN AND EDUCATE THE PERSON YOU'RE WITH...TAKE THEM TO YOUR DOCTOR AND HAVE THEM TALK TO THEM. IT WILL BE OK, I PROMISE...JUST DON'T EVER EVER SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WITHOUT TELLING THEM FIRST, EVERYONE DESERVES A CHOICE!! TAKE CARE!!
So here is my update since Christmas. People, really this isn't that bad. The guy I was with went in to get tested and they found a lump on one of his testicals. They didn't test him for herpes, they tested him for cancer. One week later he found out he had testicular cancer and one of his nuts removed. Within 2 weeks he found out it is a rare form of cancer that usually affects woman and is very rare in men, chorio carcinoma. All he had was the name no information. So he went to the internet and everything you google about men with this form of cancer is that it does not respond well to treatment and is usually fatal. Well last week he found out he has 2 almond size tumors in his abdomen and one in his lung. He starts treatment tomorrow. With all this, he really only talks to me because I call him to see how he is doing. He has a lot on his plate and men can be so good at shutting woman out especially when they are concerned about when and if there penis will ever work again. I miss him so much.
It is funny because I never found out if he has it or not, but it doesn't really matter does it. Life is so precious and now I look at it as this is just an inconvenience my life. What he is going through is really something that is horrible.
So now I am starting over with a the dating game. With the thought in my mind that I really want the one I cannot have and dreading the fact that when I do meet someone worth being with, I will have to have the dreaded conversation. But, like I said, it is just a minor inconvenience compared to cancer.
Hold your head up high everyone. This does not define who we are. Only we can define who we are. This can only make us stronger people.
Good luck to all of you. And please say a prayer for my friend.
Desperate 4 answers-No more
I hope this isnt tmi.. But before i had sex my vagina was irritated, red and it was uncomfortable to even wipe. I got test Dec. 6th and i tested negative for everything. But i made a mistake with a guy who i was recently sexual with for the past 4 months when we were drunk. This happened on Jan. 5th, we had unprotected sex & now 3 days later i am in tremindious pain. My vagina is red, itching, hurts to urniate, cannot wipe, and worst of all there are small white bumps all around the opening of my vagina with this milky whitish/yellowish discharge. I am praying to God that i do not have herpes, this is would absolutely destroy me. I was wondering if you could help me out with your symptoms and how u felt.
thank you.
Danielle
I hope this isnt tmi.. But before i had sex my vagina was irritated, red and it was uncomfortable to even wipe. I got test Dec. 6th and i tested negative for everything. But i made a mistake with a guy who i was recently sexual with for the past 4 months when we were drunk. This happened on Jan. 5th, we had unprotected sex & now 3 days later i am in tremindious pain. My vagina is red, itching, hurts to urniate, cannot wipe, and worst of all there are small white bumps all around the opening of my vagina with this milky whitish/yellowish discharge. I am praying to God that i do not have herpes, this is would absolutely destroy me. I was wondering if you could help me out with your symptoms and how u felt.
thank you.
Danielle
I hope this isnt tmi.. But before i had sex my vagina was irritated, red and it was uncomfortable to even wipe. I got test Dec. 6th and i tested negative for everything. But i made a mistake with a guy who i was recently sexual with for the past 4 months when we were drunk. This happened on Jan. 5th, we had unprotected sex & now 3 days later i am in tremindious pain. My vagina is red, itching, hurts to urniate, cannot wipe, and worst of all there are small white bumps all around the opening of my vagina with this milky whitish/yellowish discharge. I am praying to God that i do not have herpes, this is would absolutely destroy me. I was wondering if you could help me out with your symptoms and how u felt.
thank you.
Danielle
I had similar symtoms to that. I just found out today that I have it, and I'm pretty depressed about it. I'm also Pregnant, and pray to god I can give vaginal birth still. I wasnt irratated down there or anything, Since I got preg, I didnt want sex for a long time, and I finally felt like I wanted it, and it was horribly painfull. Thats when I started to hurt, and everyday it seemed to get worse, and super uncomfortable, then it started hurting when I peed, and then I noticed that I had 2 white blisters, so I instantly called my doc and went to see him the next day. He gave me the test and I came back positive even though I had been tested 3 times altogether this year and twice this pregnancy alone, and they all came back negitive... You should really get tested hun asap because if your not in an outbreak it can be very hard to get a positive test even if you have it.
TO EVERYONE WHO HAS HERPES!!!!!! I HAVE HAD HERPES FOR 10 YRS NOW, TAKING THE USUAL MEDS, GENERIC FOR VALTREX. IT DIDN'T WORK...I STILL HAD OUTBREAKS ONCE A MONTH AND ALWAYS ITCHY!!!! MY HUSBAND AND I ARE IN TO HOLISTIC HEALING, SO I DID A LOT OF RESEARCH AND FOUND THE BERRY, CAMU CAMU. LET ME TELL YOU, THIS WORKS WONDERS!!!! I HAVE EVEN STOPPED TAKING MY PRESCRIBED MEDS!! I'VE BEEN ON CAMU CAMU FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS,AND SO HAPPY TO SAY I AM OUTBREAK FREE!!! I AM NOT A SPOKESPERSON, I'M JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE WITH GH, AND WAS TIRED OF GETTING OUTBREAKS!! AND ANY MAN WHO CANNOT ACCEPT YOU NO MATTER WHAT...THEY'RE NOT FOR YOU!!!! THIS REALLY DOES MAKE GH MANAGEABLE! DO YOU'RE RESEARCH, LEARN ALL YOU CAN AND EDUCATE THE PERSON YOU'RE WITH...TAKE THEM TO YOUR DOCTOR AND HAVE THEM TALK TO THEM. IT WILL BE OK, I PROMISE...JUST DON'T EVER EVER SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WITHOUT TELLING THEM FIRST, EVERYONE DESERVES A CHOICE!! TAKE CARE!!
i resently found out i have GH i got in when i lost my virginty i had it a whole year before i found out i had it im in a relationship with a boy ive been with for 5 months i love him to death and dont no what to do with out him we had sex onces before i found out and we used a condom but im afraid to tell him i have no idea how he will reached i have been so deppressed lately i dont no what to do if i tell him and he breaks up with me im going to go crazy ive already been having crazy thoughs in my head i just needs some advise i dont no nothing about gh and im just a complete mess
TO EVERYONE WHO HAS HERPES!!!!!! I HAVE HAD HERPES FOR 10 YRS NOW, TAKING THE USUAL MEDS, GENERIC FOR VALTREX. IT DIDN'T WORK...I STILL HAD OUTBREAKS ONCE A MONTH AND ALWAYS ITCHY!!!! MY HUSBAND AND I ARE IN TO HOLISTIC HEALING, SO I DID A LOT OF RESEARCH AND FOUND THE BERRY, CAMU CAMU. LET ME TELL YOU, THIS WORKS WONDERS!!!! I HAVE EVEN STOPPED TAKING MY PRESCRIBED MEDS!! I'VE BEEN ON CAMU CAMU FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS,AND SO HAPPY TO SAY I AM OUTBREAK FREE!!! I AM NOT A SPOKESPERSON, I'M JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE WITH GH, AND WAS TIRED OF GETTING OUTBREAKS!! AND ANY MAN WHO CANNOT ACCEPT YOU NO MATTER WHAT...THEY'RE NOT FOR YOU!!!! THIS REALLY DOES MAKE GH MANAGEABLE! DO YOU'RE RESEARCH, LEARN ALL YOU CAN AND EDUCATE THE PERSON YOU'RE WITH...TAKE THEM TO YOUR DOCTOR AND HAVE THEM TALK TO THEM. IT WILL BE OK, I PROMISE...JUST DON'T EVER EVER SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WITHOUT TELLING THEM FIRST, EVERYONE DESERVES A CHOICE!! TAKE CARE!!
So today I was diagnosed with genital herpes. I now have a few questions. If we perform oral between each other is there a possibility to contract herpes on the face like ive seen while searching information on it. Also is it can someone only contract it from sex? Saying that if I share a cup with someone they wont also contract it?
h just found out yesterday that i have genital herpes type 2. im so miserable i feel that my world has ended. when did i get this? my husband says that he loves me and that it will be ok. My doc just told me to take my pills and not have sex. thats all. i want normal sex and i want oral sex and i feel thaat i will never haave that. im addicted to oral sex and now it seems impossible. is there a way to have oral sex? is it safe when theres no sores presentm
well I just found this past week and I cried for hours. Iam all ways in a daz when I am out, and sad song make me cry. When my doctor called me with my results I felt like I wanted to die, so I started doing lots of research about it and just this week went to a different doctor to get a second chane test done. She did another test and now Iam awaiting results it funny that I am praying that it's another STD who preys for that but when you hear of type 2 herpes you would love to have something else thats curable. She saids it's looking in that direction but I still have hope. Well when I seen her I just cried and told her that I would rather die then live like this. She talked to me but iam still upset. I been dating this guy for 8 months and he's now giving me the run around about talking about this maybe he new already that he had it and now is trying to avoid me. But finding out that I could have had this and didnt know it I might have just given it to him but he gave me something else and I might have given him this. now iam fighting with two std's that will be with me for the rest of my life. I have a daughter and every time I use the bathroom iam wiping down everything with bleach dont want to never pass it to her if its a chance that it could. Iam depressed and crying all the time now filling that my life is over and I will never have a husband or another baby I dont think any man would want to be with me when I tell them. I fill dirty and I wasnt given that chance that I will give my new partner that I have type 2 herpes and warts but will you give me a chance and love me for me. Still preying and learning to live with these std's. all these stories have helped me to still live life and continue to be a good person. I havent told any one yet to scared to tell my family cause I know they will give me the I told you so storie because of the guy I was dating. This is my secret and I will keep it to myself and tell only my partner.
I'm 20 years old, I contracted genital herpes when I was 17 through oral sex. It's really sad that I was infected with this disease without even having sexual intercourse. I'm guessing the guy that gave it to me had herpes on his lips or mouth, but you couldn't visibally see it. He was probably about to start getting an outbreak, or just getting out of one, because there was no sores visibal. I've only had 2 outbreaks in 5 years. Since I have herpes in my genital area, I thought I was going to have outbreaks all the time, but since I got it from oral sex, I have type one, which tends to cause fewer outbreaks. I learned to accept this std and live with it. Sometimes I even forget I have it. I know it's depressing to think about it since there is no cure, but at least we have good meds and they are currently working on a cure. It's not the end of the world and there are millions of people with herpes. We just have to accept it and move on. Love yourself. Don't be afraid of not finding someone, trust me there are people who will love you no matter what! Don't stress, God bless! 
my name is brandon i just went to the doctor for a checkup.got the dreaded call yesterday saying that im hsv 1 positive im in total disbelief. im blessed to say that i have a good woman that down for me she has an appointment to get tested.im am so scared for my kids though i pray they dont have it and i hope my girl is straight also.im a strong person and ill make it i just gotta accept it and live my life to the fullest. to everybody hsv 1 and 2 positive stay strong and please give people the option to choose whether can accept that. wrap it up and please dont spead or catch new disieses
oday i was diagnosed with herpes im 17 so im pretty down as im so young. im pretty clued up on the general stuff keep it dry how long a out brake last but im not so clued up on the sexual side i know i will have to stay protected not to pass it on. what about when i do not have a out brake of genital herpes and i recieve head im male and there are no spots and the other person has no open cuts on there mouth or in it am i going to pass it on if im unprotected and is there anything in the home that can speed up the healing process. im not depressed yet :/ but its only been one day. what can i do just general help and other people messages or personal experiences on how they are dealing with things as well as answering my questions would be brilliant.
Hi, I have been reading all of these posts about your herpes stories and how most of you are so sick to your stomach that you have them.. well its not the end of the world people... lift your head up and live life.. the reason i say this is because within the past month and a half a met this beautiful and amazing girl... we started off really well and to this day, we are still going strong.. she is a great girl and a great person but shes infected with HSV-1.. after a couple weeks , she flat out told me that she had herpes and said she was so scared to tell me because she really likes me and she thought that i would run away from her, knowing that she has herpes.. well that was the best thing that she could have done.. i am so thankful for her telling me and its really not a big problem. We live life normal everyday, we are perfect for eachother and it couldnt be any better.I dont look at her any differently or anything.. so for all you ladies out there that are infected, dont get down on yourself and just know that there is someone out there that will love you for who you are and not what you have... good luck
Your story gives me hope, I was recently diagnosed with it and thats all I can think about is dating again...Im so blessed that I dont have anything else but its still in the back of my mind everyday. I just hope I will find a guy that will accept it and be thankful for me telling him instead of keeping it a secret. Thank You.
i was given genital herpes 2 years ago from my now ex boyfriend. he didnt have genital herpes, he gave it to me because he had a cold sore. i didnt know you could get it from that.. i havent had an outbreak since i got it, but every time i think about having it i get really depressed.. i havent been with anyone in almost a year because the thought of having to tell someone i have herpes is overwhelming. it makes me feel so gross.. especially being 21, most people around this age joke and make fun of people that have it. it makes trying to get close to someone even harder knowing that everyone is so disgusted with it. one of my best friends got it a few months after me from her now ex boyfriend so it makes it a little easier having someone to talk to about it, but she still goes about her normal sex life like nothings wrong. i feel so alone.
I was recently diagnosed with HSV-1. This is the first time I have admitted to myself, I was in shock when my doctor told me what I had before she even ran any tests. I asked myself, what do I do now? Who gave this to me? and Why did this happen to me? so many thoughts and questions ran through my mind. My stepmother took me to the doctor that day, the moment I saw her I just broke down. She is the only one that knows. I'm scared to tell my friends, even my own sister. I kept thinking that they would disown me and think that I was nasty. But I'm not. I'm a victim, someone either knew and failed to tell me or didnt know and gave it to me. But I forgive them, whoever it was. This has made me stronger then I have ever been, Its really turned my life around and my prospective on my sex life. I have had four partners all in which I have had an intimate realationship with. I'm not a slut, I'm just one of the thousands of people that have herpes and that know it. Get tested!!! be safe and love your body. Love youself no matter what, I just hope one day when I met the fifth speacil someone that they will accept me for me and not what I have. God Bless and Good luck to all who have this.
First, I would be tested to make sure that you do not have herpes yourself. It never hurts to know your own sexual health status, especially when getting into, or back into a relationship with someone.
Second, as long as you are using condoms, you should be o.k., but there are no guarantees. One of my best friends was married to a guy for 14 years who had herpes, and she never contracted it.
Whatever you do, make sure that you two communicate openly with each other. If you are not comfortable having sex with him, tell him. If he really loves you, he will understand and respect that.
And, learn as much as you can about the herpes virus. Good luck!
I had sex with a friend the other day i was stupid too :( coz i know she has had herpes she caught it a while ago and everyone knows she has it :/ i dont know if i have it yet is it 100% that i will get it :(??? i am also female so i dont know :/ i guess i better go to docs i know but can anyone shed any light please?
I was diagnosed with herpes about a month ago, and I'd only had sex that week for the first time. So I got it when I lost my virginity. The guy used a condom and everything, but he gave me oral sex... so my guess is he has it there. I have my days where I'm kind of depressed about it, and others where I don't care. I'm too scared to get close to guys because they will freak out about it and not want to be with me at all. It's obviously preventable, but many guys don't understand that... it sucks really bad. But there's nothing I can do about it now. What really devastates me is the fact that I got it my first time. I haven't even got to enjoy sex for what it is and because of this I probably won't. Even more depressing was the fact that I was waiting for someone "right" to lose my virginity to, as I'm 18 and I was still a virgin. One drunken night leads to regrets. But it's something I will have for life, so I have to learn to deal with it. It's good to know many people do have it and they don't let it affect them.
I would just like to say to you, and everyone else whose comments I read, DO NOT STRESS YOURELF OUT OVER HAVING HERPES (HSV2). It is only the end of the world, if YOU make it so!
- The herpes virus has been around since antiquity, is VERY common, and many people do not even know they have it!
- Women are more vulnerable to herpes, and other STD's, because of how we are made (sex organs inside of our bodies).
- Unless you have only had sex with ONE person in your ENTIRE life, it is IMPOSSIBLE to know when you got it, and who you got it from.
- Symptoms can, but do not always manifest themselves soon after infection, and some people have such mild symptoms that they are not even aware that anything is wrong. Some people have frequent episodes, some people have long periods in between episodes, and some people have severe episodes every time they have one.
- Be aware that you CAN pass HSV1 to the genitals, and vice-versa. If someone has a "cold sore" on their mouth, THEY CAN INFECT YOU, wherever their mouth touches, especially if the skin is broken.
- There are MANY sources of information about herpes. Besides talking with your doctor (preferably your gynecologist, if you're a woman), I recommend the sites listed below to people to educate themselves about the virus...
http://cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm
http://www.ncbi.nim.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001860/
http://herpes-coldsores.com/genital_herpes.htm
Hope this info helps to ease some anxiety for those of you who are stressing out. Like I said, it is ONLY the end of the world if YOU make it so. The stress is not good for you either.
Oh yeah, a little bit about me, I learned that I had the HSV2 virus when I was 19 years old (I had only had two sex partners ever at that time, and not always protected). It showed up on a routine pap smear. I'm now 47, and I have not had an episode in 8 years! I have had to make many lifestyle changes over the years to keep myself healthy, and I take excellent care of myself, which includes, avoiding stress in whatever form it takes - work, school, drama of friends and family, etc., I simply do not deal with it. I eat as healthy as I can, make getting a good night's sleep a priority, and get regular exercise (walking and riding my bicycle).
The way I handle dating is like this - if I'm casually dating someone, there is no need to have the discussion. If the issue of becoming sexually intimate comes up with someone I have been dating for a while (not just two or three dates), and they have a good idea of the kind of person I am (because I want them to know ME, not just see me as a potential f@&*), I tell them that I have herpes. Sometimes, it's a deal breaker. Sometimes, I find that they either know what it is, or know someone who has it. Sometimes, I learn that they also have it. If they don't know a lot about it, I recommend that they educate themselves, and refer them to the websites I listed above, and that they talk to their doctor, and get tested (there is a blood test, and you don't have to be having an active episode). Sometimes, when they know that safe/safer sex for me means NO oral sex for either of us, and absolutely no unprotected sex with me, sometimes THAT is the deal breaker, and that is o.k.. Not someone I want to waste time with anyway!
There are plenty of men who WILL want to be in a relationship with you, once they know who you are, and they will appreciate you being honest with them. Don't EVER let anyone make you feel ashamed, and don't EVER believe that you are not worthy of respect, and being treated well. I have had several long-term relationships over the years, with some great men (I'm just not interested in getting married to anyone). All knew of my HSV2 status, all educated themselves, and none of them had any problems.
Anyway, this was longer than I planned on making it. I just hope that those of you who are stressing out, feeling depressed, and feeling like no one will ever want you believe me when I say that you WILL be fine, as long as you take care of yourself. Keeping a positive attitude and educating yourselves are the first steps. You will see a LOT of crap being sold on the internet and maybe even on t.v. telling you that taking it will "cure" herpes. Don't waste your money! Unfortunately, there is no cure for herpes. Acyclovir (trade name Zovirax) and Valtrex is what is usually prescribed. I have found that the amino acid L-Lysine works well for me to ward off episodes, but talk to your doctor about that. It's cheap, and you can get it at any health food store.
Best of luck to everyone, and stay in a positive mindset!
it's really a great story you share with us.I just got herpes for one month and my blood test show positive for this uncured std.i was shocked when heared of 'uncured' but i know i have to move on.i read a lot of articles about herpes and now i still worry about hiv.i always talk to myself dont think too much.let it go naturelly.....
but thanks your comment,give us hope,thanks
hopeinlove,
Having genital herpes DOES increase the risk of contracting other sexually transmitted diseases and infections, if you are exposed to them while having an active episode of herpes. For women, knowing when you are having an active episode is not always obvious. That is why it is so extremely important to use condoms, not have more than one sex partner, know your partners sexual health status, and be seen by your doctor on a regular basis.
On a side note, I see that a lot of people here are concerned about oral sex and herpes. Understand that oral sex is NOT safe sex, and it is extremely risky! ANY sexually transmitted disease or infection that your partner has CAN be passed on to you, if you perform oral sex on them. Why risk getting an infection in your mouth and/or throat? Also understand that diseases and infections are contagious and capable of being spread, even before you know that you have anything! With herpes, if your partner does NOT have sores on or in their mouth, you are probably o.k. with letting them perform oral sex on you, but again, THEY are putting themselves at risk of getting something from you that you may not even know you have.
Thank you for this post. You are the first person on the internet that I have encountered that is in my generation and it is refreshing to know that you have lived a full life with this disease. I think that people respond more to the stigma than the facts.
Your perspective is very helpful and even more appreciated.
Monica
I have had herpes type 2 for almost now and contracted it with the first guy i was with and he never even knew he had it until i got it, He has never had a break out until recently and he was freaking out. I had very frequent break outs at first but went on suppressive therapy and now there only like 2 a month if that and there only a few days. I can now tell when one is coming on because there is like a tingling weird sort of itchy sensation right before. He has performed oral sex multiple times as have i and it has never spread as long as there is no sores we usually wait a day or to after as well to be safe. Its not the end of the world, i would rather have this std then Aids etc
My God, i've never heard so many depressing stories in all my life and I got diagnosed yesterday! Its almost healed in two days, is not like my willy is going to drop off, i can still have sex with a condom (maybe even without? if its only occasionall), will just take the tablets when it flares up again. My god, you could have been diagnosed with HIV or something - be more positive.
I just contracted G. Herpes from my gf about a month ago... I felt like the whole world crashed down around me. I mean my whole life I took precautions before having sexual intercourse with any of my partners so that I would never contract an std and BAM! I got it from a cold sore on my gf lips. I got really depressed and was sad and angry for about 2 weeks. Ofcourse my gf did not know I got it from her and it was not her fault at all. We had oral sex and a couple of days later I noticed that she was gettin a "cold sore" so I asked her, "you have herpes?" and she said, "no..." so I asked her, "what is that on your upper lip then?" and she said, "It's a cold sore." I told her that it was herpes... she didn't believe me until I showed her all these websites on the internet. By that time it was too late. About 2 weeks after we had oral sex I saw a blister on my penis. I got angry and said lots of bad things to her. I finally got over the whole fact that I have herpes. I know I'm not going to die from it, but it really sucks seeing my genital area with sores on it. It makes you feel helpless and just brings you down, like really down. It was about 1 week after my first outbreak and it looked like it was starting to go away and then BAM! New sores started appearing. I didn't know what the hell to do at this point. I just felt like things were never going to be the same again. It's been about 3 weeks now since my first outbreak and things are starting to look better. I am still with my gf, she feels bad about giving me "a gift that lasts forever" I told her, but I'm over it. We just have to learn to live with it now. We had made plans to start a family and now we both have to do whatever it takes to avoid her getting it in her genital area. This problem kind of brought us closer together and made our love for each other stronger. It's kind of funny but life goes on. So for everyone that has just found out they have genital herpes, It is not the end of the world! It is overwhelming but we just have to learn to live with it and in a way it makes you become a healthier person by making you change some of your bad habbits, like eating healthier for instance. Lets just be strong! If you can make it through this, you can make it through anything.
Many people do not know that "cold sores" are caused by a herpes virus (there are about 8 types that affect humans). Many also do not know that herpes is contaigous when the virus is active and "shedding", and that sores/blisters do not need to be present.
I would not be so quick to assume that she infected you. Unless you have only had sex with only one person EVER in your life, there is a good chance that you may have already had it, and never had any problems, until now. It's not unusual for people to have herpes, have no problems, and have no idea that they are infected.
I recommend that you both get tested, so that you know which virus you have, and you can start doing what you need to do to take care of yourselves.
Best of luck to you both.
Hello Miguel I just found out yesterday, iam a single mom, ive been seing this guy for a year, and i dont know how i will tell him. I didnt know i had it. Im sooo depress I want to die, and then i think about my daughter. I think that her father gave it to me because when we were dating he would have cold sore and i even mentioned to him once that it looked like herpes but he denied it. after my daughter he ended the relationship. I had it for so long and never knew. im so scared, I dont know how to tell this person. What ever decision he takes i will respect, I feel he need to know, it sucks because i know this is my soul mate. Im so hurt and crushed, i feel that it is the end. I have thought of ending my life.
Ok soo I found out that i have herpes 2 and my man didnt know he had it and he gave it too me.. he doesnt have no sines of a break out but i got it now how can i give him oral sex and not get it in my mouth how do i know when i can?? im sooo lost 
can some one tell me anything you know about this also im soo hurt and just dont know what to do i feel like i have a sine on my back that says i have it ... i look at life soo differnt now and its hard to know i have this std and ive been soo care ful off this and my husban at all things gives me it 
... i need some support if any one can help me ....mandi
I want to die just found out yesterday that i have herpes iam a single mom, been seeing someone, which i should mentioned we always use protection. I think that my daughter father gave it to me 7 yeas ago he was my first and he would always have blister. One day my cousin and i we confronted him about having herpes because he always had the blister and he said it was just cold sore. I been with one guy for the past year now and i know this man is my soul mate, but how will i tell him, it is driving me crazy. Im so careful even before finding out after i use the toilet i would always spray it with rubbing alcohol, since i always been a germophobic not this ocd will get worse. I need help, before i commint suiecide.
I have had herpes type 2 for almost now and contracted it with the first guy i was with and he never even knew he had it until i got it, He has never had a break out until recently and he was freaking out. I had very frequent break outs at first but went on suppressive therapy and now there only like 2 a month if that and there only a few days. I can now tell when one is coming on because there is like a tingling weird sort of itchy sensation right before. The Herpes virus only lives for like 2 seconds, so if it touches a toilet seat it will be dead before you even stand up so you dont have to worry that, When you shower and clean down there it doesnt spread to your hands its extremely rare for it to spread to the body. If you use a condom or dont have sex during a break out he will be fine.
I found out about 4 months ago that i got genital HSV 1 from a man i'd been dating for 6 months. He had cold sores, and I told him that they were herpes, but he went on about he had them since childhood and they were no big deal, so i tried to act like they weren't. Well, needless to say, he went down on me when he was just starting to get one, and i contracted hsv 1. He initially blamed me, accused me of cheating, and ultimately wasn't there for me when i found out (although he went to the doctor, he was ready to walk home while i was crying over the steering wheel about to have a panic attack). I stayed in the relationship for another 4 months and suffered mental and physical abuse believing that nobody was ever going to love me.
I'm still struggling and I have my low days, like today. How am I ever going to tell anyone? i've been seeing this guy and i am TERRIFIED of telling him, and if he denies me I worry about him telling others. I am still finding it hard to believe that anyone will love me.
A part of me wants to be a bad person and keep it a secret forever, technically i've read genital hsv 1 is the least contagious because it doesn't have a "home advantage", as it usually occurs on the mouth.
i'm so sad, i'm 24 and i've always been the "good girl" and i got involved with a bad guy.
I thought I was a good girl too. I waited until I was in love at 25 years old before having sex. I found out today I have herpes 2 and I want to die. This is forever. Stupidly I didn't demand that my ex husband, who was very promisuous before we met, be tested. He told me he was clean and I believed him. Now I am reading that 1 in 5 woman have herpes and 1 in 9 men. I can't believe it is so common and no one talks about it. Maybe if we all knew how common it was, we would be more careful and demand that our partners get TESTED and not just trust them when they say they are clean.
I am so sad to think that for the rest of my life I must force my partner (if anyone wants to date me again) to wear a condom and that I will never enjoy oral sex again.
I want to stay positive like others on here that it could be worse, but I am so upset with myself right now. I could have prevented this. It's not like other diseases or cancer where you have no control over.
I am so alone and so hurting right now.
I'm falling in love with an amazing woman who has herpes. I know that she feels similarly about me, but she is so guarded. She's put up a wall between us and refuses to express her feelings. Understandably so. How can I get her to believe in me and that I want to figure this out together and have a committed long term relationship with her?
Can I ever have unprotected oral sex with her? I want to go down on her so badly. Is this ever going to be possible? Is it insane to imagine unprotected sex with her if we ever got married?
Somebody please help me. I so want her to be happy...
First of all Congrats on finding the one you think you will marry. I applaud you for finding this site and seeking guidance in others who go through what she's gone though.
Let me just tell you that you can have a great sex life still with the big H. My husband and I found out that we had it 2 months after we got married. We know he got it from before but he'd passed it on to me without knowing he even had it. Besides the occasional outbreaks (I've had 2 in 6 years including my initial outbreak) life goes on as normal. From what I've read, men can give it to women more easily than from women to men.
Secondly, as horrible as it sounds as a "sexually transmitted disease"... it's just a virus. A cold is just a virus too. And the commom cold can not be cured, it can just be prevented by way of life. It is the same as Herpes. Even if you have it, you can prevent it from rearing it's ugly head.
And lastly, if you decide to marry this girl, I wish you well. My husband and I enjoy Amazing sex, including oral, in our lives. Not only that, we have 2 Very healthy children to show for... Herpes doesn't stop life at all... sure it makes you cautious but its just a virus in the end.
omg this is great =] honestly whoever you are , you just gave me HOPE that i will find someone like that too, that will accept me like iam and wont reject me. i got diognose august 2009 when i was 17 i just turned 20 the day you post that.. after i got diognose i havent been able to fall inlove for fear of rejection. Is good to know not every guy is an ignorant about it =] congrats!
today my new friend founf my piols for herpes and he says he going to put me in jai cuz i knew i had it. but i didnt want to have sex cuz i didnt knw how to tell him but we did two days in a row. how do i get passed this he asked ppl he knw bout my med name and found out the truth. i knw its comman but how do i get throw this if he go to the dr and he has it whn thts the last thing i wanted to do.
today my new friend founf my piols for herpes and he says he going to put me in jai cuz i knew i had it. but i didnt want to have sex cuz i didnt knw how to tell him but we did two days in a row. how do i get passed this he asked ppl he knw bout my med name and found out the truth. i knw its comman but how do i get throw this if he go to the dr and he has it whn thts the last thing i wanted to do.
to all you newbies that just found out..... I have had hsv-1 for 8 yrs been married 2x and have amazing kids.... I will tell you that I had a hard time finding someone who could understand that I had this problem and I was still normal but they are out there. Hell I was married to 2 of them and found someone who completely understands my situation and knows that I would never want to put him through the same pain I went through.... I will also say that I breakout about every 3 to 4 months and its literally like clock work I know right about when it is going to happen and make sure that he knows when its going to happen.... I usually have it right before or right after my cycle... Yes guys I know that its not something you want to hear but us women do cycle and we cant control it... I dont have insurance and so I cant rely (not sure if thats spelt right) on pills. I have to go by my body... One thing that I was told by my doctor is that just like a cold every one has the virus in their blood some just have it active.... 8yrs ago my dr told me that I can still have unprotected sex safely with my partner as long as he knows the risks and the chances.... Well I will tell you what I have found that one and he is for sure a keeper in my books. I absolutely love him and our sex life. Have no fear ladies and gents normal sex lives still exsist with this disease.
i was diagnosed with genital herpes virus 1 at the age of 16, from my boyfriend of 3 years as he performed oral sex on me. BUT we were both virgins before having sex with eachother.
I have had this infection for 2 years now, and have only had 2 outbreaks, the first was painful and the second was mild.
on the day he performed oral sex, he cut himself on his lip.
this is what the doctor said is to have caused the infection to come into me as he hasnt got the infection.
i knew i contracted something because on the same night i started getting blisters,- it was PAINFUL. couldnt go to the toilet properly, legs were shaking, i was crying, and had to put vaseline on in order for me to go to the toilet.
I went to a&e that night with my mum as she was very worried, but because i am pakistani i did not want to tell her that i have had sex, so tried hiding it from her by telling the doctors i want our conversations to be private.
Anyways, the dr gave me aclovir and it helped me a lot, i didnt take 5 tablets a day, i only took one once a day and found out it worked within 3 days.. the blisters were completely gone.
my second outbreak appeared on my anal, it wasnt as bad as the first as i could actually sit on the toilet and urinate.
i thought my world ended as soon as i found out i had herpes, i dont blame my bf though as both of us were young and in love and we didnt know a cut could cause herpes. i actually didnt know herpes existed ! lol! Im still with him - it has been 6 years now.. i do have my moments when i regret that day with him and wish we did it another time BUT life goes on.
everyone will find that special someone.
dont regret anything, hopefully there will be a cure for herpes.
most of us here are young and we'll be fine.
the only issue i had was pregnancy - i really want to have a natural birth but heard that if we are stressed, we can have an outbreak and it will infect the baby if it comes out while having an outbreak. HOWEVER my doctor advised me that it will be better to take the antibiotics atleast a week before the due date to ensure nothing like that would happen =)
dont be so negative guys!
sure its painful, but just remember you are not alone.
1 in 5 people have herpes.
some have worse cases but others dont..
dont stress yourself out, the more stressed you get the more likely you will get an outbreak! oh and also if you smoke/drink excessively, try cut down as that could also be another factor in causing an outbreak.
DONT WORRY, BE HAPPY :)
So i was lucky enough to get back with my high school sweetheart after 9 years! She has a daughter with another guy, who never told her he was infected, she found out after being with him for 2 years! When we got back together, before we had sex, she was honest and told me! she felt i would never want to talk to her again, or even look at her, but you will find someone that will fall inlove with you, that takes the good and the bad with that person! i had the choice and i chose her and everything that comes with it! Its weird to think that i now have it, ive played it safe my whole life not to get anything, and now i chose this, and i dont regret it! Honesty is the first important step in living with herpes! Life goes on, and now that its apart of your life, you will become more educated on the facts overtime! Before it became known, many of our parents have it but dont know, because it wasnt tested back then, so remember that! Remember its been around a long time and it wasnt until our life time it became more known! Live life and smile!
I feel everyone's pain. I've been dealing with genital herpes for 4 years now. my boyfriend at the time had a cold sore and went down on me. that was my first time ever letting a guy go down on me, so i didnt know anything about cold sores causing herpes. I didnt know how to deal with it when i found out. Worst part is, me and my sister got it around the same time. She had been sleeping with a guy who had it but didnt know it. I must say, we helped each other get through it. It was really hard and i thought i would have to stay with him for the rest of my life. I didnt think anybody else would want me if they found out. I stayed with him for 3 1/2 years before i realized that i didnt have to stay with him. I knew that it would be hard, but i took my chances with someone else. I've had it for so long now that i usually dont remember that i have it until an out break occurs, which isnt that often. when me and my current boyfriend started dating it didnt dawn on me that i have it and that i should tell him. We had unprotected sex a few times and it never occured to me to tell him that i have it. I felt like such a bad person when i finally realized what i had done. I never got reminded while we were having sex that i have genital herpes. i randomly had an out break about a month ago and that's when i knew i had to tell him. i didnt know how i was gonna do it and i thought i knew for sure he wouldnt wanna be with me after he found out. I think i got up the courage to do it 2 days later. i cried the whole time. He was very understandable about it but pissed at the same time. He knew how hard it must've been to tell him, but he also mentioned that he thought he had in grown hairs in his pubic area. We found out a few days later that i had given him genital herpes. Our relationship is still good, but i am reminded everyday of what i have done to him and i feel like such a bad person for it. He tries to act strong and brave about it, but i know deep down he is scared to death. I know we'll work through this, but i know it's so hard for him. I couldnt believe it when i found out i had it, and i always imagined how i would feel if i ever gave it to someone and now i have.
I feel everyone's pain. I've been dealing with genital herpes for 4 years now. my boyfriend at the time had a cold sore and went down on me. that was my first time ever letting a guy go down on me, so i didnt know anything about cold sores causing herpes. I didnt know how to deal with it when i found out. Worst part is, me and my sister got it around the same time. She had been sleeping with a guy who had it but didnt know it. I must say, we helped each other get through it. It was really hard and i thought i would have to stay with him for the rest of my life. I didnt think anybody else would want me if they found out. I stayed with him for 3 1/2 years before i realized that i didnt have to stay with him. I knew that it would be hard, but i took my chances with someone else. I've had it for so long now that i usually dont remember that i have it until an out break occurs, which isnt that often. when me and my current boyfriend started dating it didnt dawn on me that i have it and that i should tell him. We had unprotected sex a few times and it never occured to me to tell him that i have it. I felt like such a bad person when i finally realized what i had done. I never got reminded while we were having sex that i have genital herpes. i randomly had an out break about a month ago and that's when i knew i had to tell him. i didnt know how i was gonna do it and i thought i knew for sure he wouldnt wanna be with me after he found out. I think i got up the courage to do it 2 days later. i cried the whole time. He was very understandable about it but pissed at the same time. He knew how hard it must've been to tell him, but he also mentioned that he thought he had in grown hairs in his pubic area. We found out a few days later that i had given him genital herpes. Our relationship is still good, but i am reminded everyday of what i have done to him and i feel like such a bad person for it. He tries to act strong and brave about it, but i know deep down he is scared to death. I know we'll work through this, but i know it's so hard for him. I couldnt believe it when i found out i had it, and i always imagined how i would feel if i ever gave it to someone and now i have.
I feel everyone's pain. I've been dealing with genital herpes for 4 years now. my boyfriend at the time had a cold sore and went down on me. that was my first time ever letting a guy go down on me, so i didnt know anything about cold sores causing herpes. I didnt know how to deal with it when i found out. Worst part is, me and my sister got it around the same time. She had been sleeping with a guy who had it but didnt know it. I must say, we helped each other get through it. It was really hard and i thought i would have to stay with him for the rest of my life. I didnt think anybody else would want me if they found out. I stayed with him for 3 1/2 years before i realized that i didnt have to stay with him. I knew that it would be hard, but i took my chances with someone else. I've had it for so long now that i usually dont remember that i have it until an out break occurs, which isnt that often. when me and my current boyfriend started dating it didnt dawn on me that i have it and that i should tell him. We had unprotected sex a few times and it never occured to me to tell him that i have it. I felt like such a bad person when i finally realized what i had done. I never got reminded while we were having sex that i have genital herpes. i randomly had an out break about a month ago and that's when i knew i had to tell him. i didnt know how i was gonna do it and i thought i knew for sure he wouldnt wanna be with me after he found out. I think i got up the courage to do it 2 days later. i cried the whole time. He was very understandable about it but pissed at the same time. He knew how hard it must've been to tell him, but he also mentioned that he thought he had in grown hairs in his pubic area. We found out a few days later that i had given him genital herpes. Our relationship is still good, but i am reminded everyday of what i have done to him and i feel like such a bad person for it. He tries to act strong and brave about it, but i know deep down he is scared to death. I know we'll work through this, but i know it's so hard for him. I couldnt believe it when i found out i had it, and i always imagined how i would feel if i ever gave it to someone and now i have.
I feel everyone's pain. I've been dealing with genital herpes for 4 years now. my boyfriend at the time had a cold sore and went down on me. that was my first time ever letting a guy go down on me, so i didnt know anything about cold sores causing herpes. I didnt know how to deal with it when i found out. Worst part is, me and my sister got it around the same time. She had been sleeping with a guy who had it but didnt know it. I must say, we helped each other get through it. It was really hard and i thought i would have to stay with him for the rest of my life. I didnt think anybody else would want me if they found out. I stayed with him for 3 1/2 years before i realized that i didnt have to stay with him. I knew that it would be hard, but i took my chances with someone else. I've had it for so long now that i usually dont remember that i have it until an out break occurs, which isnt that often. when me and my current boyfriend started dating it didnt dawn on me that i have it and that i should tell him. We had unprotected sex a few times and it never occured to me to tell him that i have it. I felt like such a bad person when i finally realized what i had done. I never got reminded while we were having sex that i have genital herpes. i randomly had an out break about a month ago and that's when i knew i had to tell him. i didnt know how i was gonna do it and i thought i knew for sure he wouldnt wanna be with me after he found out. I think i got up the courage to do it 2 days later. i cried the whole time. He was very understandable about it but pissed at the same time. He knew how hard it must've been to tell him, but he also mentioned that he thought he had in grown hairs in his pubic area. We found out a few days later that i had given him genital herpes. Our relationship is still good, but i am reminded everyday of what i have done to him and i feel like such a bad person for it. He tries to act strong and brave about it, but i know deep down he is scared to death. I know we'll work through this, but i know it's so hard for him. I couldnt believe it when i found out i had it, and i always imagined how i would feel if i ever gave it to someone and now i have.
I feel everyone's pain. I've been dealing with genital herpes for 4 years now. my boyfriend at the time had a cold sore and went down on me. that was my first time ever letting a guy go down on me, so i didnt know anything about cold sores causing herpes. I didnt know how to deal with it when i found out. Worst part is, me and my sister got it around the same time. She had been sleeping with a guy who had it but didnt know it. I must say, we helped each other get through it. It was really hard and i thought i would have to stay with him for the rest of my life. I didnt think anybody else would want me if they found out. I stayed with him for 3 1/2 years before i realized that i didnt have to stay with him. I knew that it would be hard, but i took my chances with someone else. I've had it for so long now that i usually dont remember that i have it until an out break occurs, which isnt that often. when me and my current boyfriend started dating it didnt dawn on me that i have it and that i should tell him. We had unprotected sex a few times and it never occured to me to tell him that i have it. I felt like such a bad person when i finally realized what i had done. I never got reminded while we were having sex that i have genital herpes. i randomly had an out break about a month ago and that's when i knew i had to tell him. i didnt know how i was gonna do it and i thought i knew for sure he wouldnt wanna be with me after he found out. I think i got up the courage to do it 2 days later. i cried the whole time. He was very understandable about it but pissed at the same time. He knew how hard it must've been to tell him, but he also mentioned that he thought he had in grown hairs in his pubic area. We found out a few days later that i had given him genital herpes. Our relationship is still good, but i am reminded everyday of what i have done to him and i feel like such a bad person for it. He tries to act strong and brave about it, but i know deep down he is scared to death. I know we'll work through this, but i know it's so hard for him. I couldnt believe it when i found out i had it, and i always imagined how i would feel if i ever gave it to someone and now i have.
i'm mortified! i'm so depressed. I've always been careful, havent had many sexual partners. Most of my partners were long term. I do not allow just anyone to perform oral Sex on me. I believe that is more personable and intimate than sex.My boyfriend and i have been together for about a year.. We broke up end of February. We didn't sleep with each other for about a month. Then we started seeing each other again. When i received my test results back, my doctor really gave it to me about telling him. I have been going to the same Gyno for 20 years. She knows my complete history. I thought when i told him he would go insane, saying it wasn't him. He did the complete opposite which shows me he knew he had it and didn't tell me. I'm so hurt. He said he hasn't been with anyone else and asked me if i had, i have not. I dont sleep around. I asked him to go get checked. I'm not going to be with him until he gets checked. I just can't believe this. He said 20 years ago he had a girlfriend with a yeast infection. I read that sometimes yeast infections and herpes have the same symptons. So what if this woman had herpes and he didn't know. So for all these years he has been sleeping with women and had this STD? I dont know what to do...i'm so lost. And to add more fuel to the fire, him and i didnt even finish discussing this and he hasn't called me and i called him 3 times. I'd appreciate any advice.
My story's kind of quirky. I'm 27. A little under two years ago, my best friend's girlfriend had requested that they both get an STD test before making the move to unprotected sex. He called me after learning the results: he tested positive for herpes. He was such a wreck. I played it cool, but in my mind all I could think of were the "scared straight" STD presentations I had to sit through back in high school and the Marine Corps. "Herpes" had always been such a nasty word with nasty connotations, "the gift that keeps on giving", etc.
Concerned for my friend, I did some research. I couldn't believe what I discovered: roughly 1 out of every 5 people has a form of Herpes, and only 20% of those who have it know they have it because most carriers are asymptomatic. In a nutshell, Herpes is super common, not a big deal for most people, and certainly a far cry from the STD slides I had been subjected to in the past. My best friend was going to be okay.
Fast forward a few weeks, and I'm having sex for the first time with a girl I was falling in love with. Alas, I didn't use protection, which she had shown no objection to (word to the wise, having unprotected sex in general is not the best idea, and having unprotected sex with a girl who shows no objection to having unprotected sex is probably even less of a good idea 
). The following week, things start heating up again in her bedroom, but she doesn't want to have sex. I asked if she was on her period. She wasn't. I asked if everything was ok, or if I had done/said something. She said that wasn't the problem. It was really bizarre. Finally, a few hours later, she let it out. She told me about how she had contracted Herpes the previous year from a guy who didn't even know he had it. Unfortunately, she wasn't so lucky: not long after sleeping with him she had her first outbreak.
Had this incident happened a month prior, before I knew anything about Herpes, I probably would have put my clothes on, left her house, and never spoken to her again. How could she have let me have unprotected sex with her knowing she had Herpes? Instead, thanks to the research I had done a couple weeks back, I was totally cool. Oddly, I almost welcomed it so that my best friend wouldn't have to cope by himself. I did get tested afterwards, and the test came back positive, which didn't really affect me at first. It just meant I didn't have to worry about having unprotected sex with this girl, who would end up being my girlfriend, and later, my ex-girlfriend.
I've only ever had two outbreaks, both tiny, painless, and only lasting a day or two, so I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I think a lot about how things will play out once I start dating again. Don't you guys wish having Herpes meant you automatically had the power to identify other people who have it?? How awesome would it be to just be able to detect them at the bar and be like, "Hey, wanna dance?" 
I wish I had herp-vision...
Hi, im 22, female, i was just diagnosed 2 days ago with herpes. Im so mad at myself that i let this happen. My ex-boyfriend cheated on me and we did have unprotected sex so Im pretty sure I contracted it from him. But I feel so depressed, so worthless, so dirty, so ugly, so unsexual , so undesirable. Idk if I can ever put myself back together again. I feel like this is my life sentence. Im so embarrassed and upset. The news is so new im trying to find a way to cope. Im too afraid to tell anyone, its not like i would sleep around, I was just careless. I need help on trying to cope with this disease. My DR. gave me a prescription for valtrex but idk if this will be my daily med for the rest of my life. Can i still have oral sex performed on me. I had no symtoms, if i did it wasnt anywhere i could see. Idk wat to do with myself. :(
i am 18 year old college student with herpes. i just found out i had the disease.. i am so scared & depressed! i was diagnosed with chlomydia the ending of last year and now i have herpes. sad part is after my first diagnosis i wore condoms thn i met a guy i thought i could trust & now i have herpes... dont trust any guys! just buy a vibrator.. it saddens me everytime i think about it... like i have this forever! it sucks because i got it from oral sex but i have genital herpes.. but look on the good side,, at least it's not HIV, AIDS! we still have hope & life,, it could be worse, MUCH WORSE :)
so to the girl that got it from oral.. did you have a mouth sore when you did it? Did he have visable sores?
Also, to the rest of you worried about outbreaks.. depression/stress causes stuff/these in your body! You woorrying about this causes them! You must stay positive and think heathy! mind over matter! Does make a difference! I found out from a blood test over a month ago and have yet to have an outbreak! You must remain positive. The nurse that told me my results also told me that most people only have one outbreak and then done. Also that subpression meds arent necessary unless you get more than 5 outbreaks per year! Im glad to see all you out here supporting each other! Any of you are welcome to reach out to me at jessica.ginn@gmail.com. Please keep in mind this is a very common std now adays along with hpv/chlamidia. 1 in 5 have it! I thought noone would want me when I found out, but there are good people out there that will look past it and see you for who you are as a whole. <3
I have gen herpes, for 14 years now. I met a wonderful man and have lost him now. I gave him oral sex and have felt horrible about letting it go that far w/o telling him. Well tonight I did and he was pissed! Anyone know if my gen herpes can be given to him through oral? I am so lost!
Hi, I too was diagnosed with genital herpes at the age of 17. I was a virgin as well as my boyfriend. We were together a year before we decided to have sex at 16, he cheated on me and I found out that I had it when I had an outbreak. I was completely devastated and thought my life was over. I am now 24 and take acyclovir daily to suppress symptoms and maybe have a mild outbreak once every couple years. It has definitely been hard dating because you want to be able to be honest with your partners. I have found a guy who is very caring and accepted me even after sharing the news with him. We have been together for over four years, we have unprotected sex and he has never had any symptoms. I really miss having oral sex and wish I could receive it from him but understand that he doesn't want to chance it. Does anyone know how likely it is to contract it in that way if there aren't any signs present?
I have had this for about 3 years. I have only had two outbreaks. But can't find anybody that is willing to be see the good in me. As soon as i tell anybody they tuck tail and run. My ex cheated on me and still to this day denies it. Said I got it from a toilet seat. Whatever. Ugg. Yes it gets easier to deal with but it sucks when you have to be alone. When all you want is to be loved.
I have had this for about 3 years. I have only had two outbreaks. But can't find anybody that is willing to be see the good in me. As soon as i tell anybody they tuck tail and run. My ex cheated on me and still to this day denies it. Said I got it from a toilet seat. Whatever. Ugg. Yes it gets easier to deal with but it sucks when you have to be alone. When all you want is to be loved.
I have had this for about 3 years. I have only had two outbreaks. But can't find anybody that is willing to be see the good in me. As soon as i tell anybody they tuck tail and run. My ex cheated on me and still to this day denies it. Said I got it from a toilet seat. Whatever. Ugg. Yes it gets easier to deal with but it sucks when you have to be alone. When all you want is to be loved.
so i have not got my results yet but im pretty sure i have i have it idk what to do im stuck and i just dont understand i have had sex with three men in my wholw life but idk how i got it and it really doesnt matter anymore im just so upset with myself no one else how can i be ive seen every penis that has been inside of me and never any thing but i have got it from somewhere i just want to yell and cry a
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Genital Herpes Prevention Video 
The risk for infection and transmission of the virus is highest with direct contact of blisters or sores during an outbreak. It is possible for your significant other to contract herpes through oral sex if he has an open sore and it contacts one of your herpetic lesions. I would recommend that you consult http://www.healthcentral.com/genital-herpes/causes.html for more information on the risk factors and causes of herpes.
I hope this helps,
BrendanS
if he wantd sum head from her will he still be able to get it
I just got diagnosed with genital herpes 2 days ago and I am lost for words. I know that this is not the end of the world but I am seriously having some issues. I can't get my mind around the fact and everytime I think about it I go into a depression mode. I had unprotected sex in a hot tub then 3 days later I tried to have sex again and it was painful. I looked and I had a cut, it really didn't hurt only when I touched it and so I put some lidocaine on it and went to the doctor to get my tests. It was still sensitive so I asked her if she could put some numbing medicine on it before she did the test and she said no. I know that I probably do have it but can that affect the outcome of my results. I just need to pick myself and start learning to live with this disease. But I am finding it hard to get out of this depression, I don't feel sexual aroused or even think or look at men like I use to. I know that this is a recent diagnosis but I hope slowly over time I will get the urge to have sex again and feel better, and to top it off my boyfriend of 2 yrs broke up with me that day, and he didn't even know about my outbreak or the results. I am seriously depressed right now.
Hey
i was diagnosed today and i feel your pain rebecca. i am lost for words. i too have gotten into a depressive mode and i feel like my life has ended. i have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 months and he doesnt have it but says we can work through it which makes me feel a little better, but i am at a loss when thinking how i contracted the disease.
i never realised how common it was either but i still feel devastated.
hang in there, cos i know i will try my hardest
I understand the pain! I was diagnosed at the beginning of the month. I'm at the point of wanting to know if the guy I was having sex with has it or if I got it a while ago and it is just now showing up; however I am more concerned with taking care of myself and getting through this! I was amazed to find out all of the facts of the disease and that so many people have it and have no clue. We will get through this because we are still NORMAL people. The only people that know about it are those that we tell!
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i was just diagnosed with herpes 3 months ago. I have withdrawn feelings from men and sex. I no longer have the urge like i use to and every time a guy tries to talk to me all i can think about is how he is a great CLEAN guy and how I’m not good enough for him. I decided i want a serious relationship someone i can trust with the information that i have herpes (i don't want the world knowing). But if i have a serious relationship i think ill care too much for the person and i won’t want to spread this disease. I want to try to meet people my age, I’m 19, with herpes and relate to them. It’s hard to not feel alone when you hear you have herpes.
i know how you are feeling.Five years ago I was diagonosed with genital herpes and the guy I was dating denied it and accused me of cheating. Two years later I ran into him and he apologized.He thought I would tell people.I was just like you I was depressed and figured I would never have kids and meet someone that accepts me and my disease.But there are alot of people that will accept you and understand what you have. You can e-mail me at anytime if you need someone to talk to. pretteyes32@yahoo.com
U will be fine when i found out i had it i was in a relationship and not with the one who gave it to me and i loved him so when i found out my results i let him knw at that moment and he stayed and understood and he knew i wasnt out sleeping around it was just somethin that happen. We continued to have sex and i did nt let it ruin my life i am in a relationship now not with the same guy and i told him and we have been together for 4 yrs. the only thng that will change is that u will be mre cautious of who u talk to and who u wud tell because not all people will understand. But i knw how u feel for abt a 3 mnths i wud look at myself in the mirror and say i cant believe i have this and i wud be sad for a minute then i wud pray and feel better. So if u have a higher power turn to them and give it to them and live ur life
hi. what it feels like to have that thing"hsv1"
i was diagnosed about 12 years ago. the crazy thing was, that i was misdiagnosed for about 2 years and had completely unprotected sex with my boyfriend because no doctor could confirm that it was herpes by looking at it. it doesn't surprise me actually. that boyfriend never came down with any symptoms and has not contracted the virus. i suffered from depression and put the blame on myself. then i finally got a true - blue outbreak and was properly diagnosed. the worst part was that my husband contracted herpes on his mouth from giving me oral sex. he now has periodic outbreaks on the skin just above his lip and it is painful and unattractive to say the least. i now realize that i could have carried the virus for years without ever knowing it was there. i now have a beautiful, healthy 9 year old girl. during my pregnancy, i took a low dose of acyclovir and never had an outbreak. i was able to give birth to my daughter vaginally without any complications. the amazing thing for me was that for a good year after having her, i completely forgot about the virus, as it got suppressed from the therapy and most likely my hormone change.
i have had flare ups since, but very few. i continue the suppressive therapy by taking acyclovir once a day, and as a result, i have completely forgotten about the virus. studies have shown that the virus can become more and more suppressed over time and therefore less contagious. my story is just one story, but i want you to know that you can have children and a normal sex life if you continue with the suppressive therapy.
HI
TO YOU ALL THAT HAVE BEEN DIAGNOSED JUST RECENTLY, PLEASE, YOU ARE A VICTIM. I CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH, I HAVE HAD G.H. SINCE 1994. MY BOYFRIEND ,AT THE TIME, KNEW THAT HE WAS INFECTED AND BROKE DOWN MY DOOR AND RAPED ME, MY DAD JUST DIED AND HE KNEW THAT. HIS LAST WORDS HE MUTTERED TO ME WAS "NOW, I KNOW NOONE WILL EVE LOVE YOU, BECAUSE OF THE HERPES.
YES, I THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS OVER AND HOW MANY TIMES I WANTED TO DIE BUT YOU KNOW, IT JUST MADE ME A STRONGER WOMAN. MY SOULMATE LOVES ME FOR ME, AND YOUR SOULMATE WILL OVER LOOK WHATEVER IS WRONG AND WILL FIND ALL THE GOOD IN YOU BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS.
IT IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY BUT WHAT ELSE IS EASY IN LIFE,, ALWAYS REMEMBER,, YOU ARE AMAZING WOMEN AND MEN,, DO NOT LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE. YOU WILL PREVAIL. LIFE WILL GET BETTER AND THE LOVE YOU FIND WILL BE STRONGER BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT THEY WIL LOVE YOU FOR YOU...SANDY
WOMEN CAN SPREAD G. HERPES EVEN WITHOUT HAVING A OUTBREAK. BECAUSE OF NOT KNOWING WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO GET A BLISTER, YOU MIGHT HAVE ONE WITHOUT KOWING AND IT IS SPREAD THROUGH THE BODILY FLUID.
I'm sorry for how some of you got GH. I don't even know who I got mine from and I had been with the same girl for 6months before I got it and she doesn't have it....When I meet my wife I had it for about a month and didn't know how to tell her. I used protection but I didn't tell her because I was scared it might well scare her away. I felt awful for not telling her. I told her before we had sex again and she was a little upset but very understand. She turned out to be my best friend, my soul mate and she is the most wonderful wife in the world.
She just proves that love and relationships are not over after you have GH. There are people that will love you for you and take the risks to be with you. I hope that you all stay strong and remember things could always be worse.
I'm 19 as well and just got back my test results a few days ago.
I've only been with two guys. The first one had only been with one other girl who was a virgin. The second one, who I contracted it from, had been with one other girl as well. However, as I recently learned, she had been with 4 or 5 guys.
I've never been so depressed in my life. I can start to feel normal for a few minutes but then realize that I'm just in denial.
The guy who gave it to me had no idea he had it. He thought he had given me staph, which is why I went to the doctor- only to find that it was herpes.
The whole situation is ridiculous, he would have had it for over a year with no signs. I've been having sex with him for 6 months. All of a sudden we both had outbreaks at the same time.
I don't know what type it is. I have to go get a blood test to find out. I'm hoping it's type 1 as he does get cold sores and he had gone down on me, but then his outbreak would have been staph and that seems overly coincidental. (I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be possible for him to give me type 1 orally and then for me to give it back to him genitally.)
I haven't told anyone but my parents (and the guy, obviously). My parents are being wonderful but I wish I had someone my age to talk to.
I feel like damaged goods. Like I can never date again. Everyone talks about how people with herpes live perfectly normal lives and get married and whatever. As great as that is, I'm a 19 year old college student. I just want to be able to date normally, have sex if I want, and not feel like damaged goods. I feel like i'll never find a nice, intelligent, clean college age guy who is willing to take that risk. And I'm afraid to risk the pain of rejection.
Do you still have oral sex or is that totally out of the question? I have had it for 18 years and would love to have that done to me and so would my boyfriend. Is this possible for him ever to try? I was young when I received this curse and never had this done and he would love to give me that pleasure.
I am 20 years old and my fiancée didn't know that he had herpes. When he and I got together, I had asked him if he had ever had anything, and he said that he was definitely clean. He had never been tested. His previous girl friend has it. I completely understand feeling defective, because that is how I feel as well. I feel betrayed and I don't know if I can trust him. And then I hear myself say that and wonder if I am being unfair to him. I just got my tests back, and I am so lost. He is the only man I have ever been with, I did everything by the book, and I paid for it. I feel cheated, and I don't know where to go from here. Yes there are worse things, no I'm not dyeing, but I cannot stop feeling so angry. How do I stop feeling angry?
The best thing to do is become educated about the Virus. I just found out about it too, (a week ago) and I have no depression about it for the simple reason; millions of people live this way everyday. And other people have handled it with much more grace than I ever could. Your life is the farthest thing from over, this isn't going to kill you, you are not going to kill anyone by giving it to them. Its natural to feel like a ticking time bomb, or that you have a black mark... But fight this feeling, you will get throught it.
Another way to deal with the depression is to be successfull in life, make better choices from now on. Work hard at the things you do. I know its tough, but if you are happy about your life and your accomplishments this will become a small thing.
Also, forgive.... forgive.... forgive.... forgive.... yourself, the person you contracted it from, those that mis-treat you because of it. If you let the anger brew within yourself it will make this condition far worse than if you just accept it and learn to live with it
Love life....
You should not feel alone that you have herpes...TRUST ME! Read the statistics and know that millions of Americans live with it. And yes in the beginning the psychological pain is very bad but dont worry trust me IT IS NOT A LIFE SENTENCE...just take is as a lesson learned.
I have lived with the STD about for 3 years! Be careful about what you read on these blog posts because these are normal people that think they know. Talk to your physician and read certified information.
I feel like that, too. I've only been with one guy, only had sex with one guy, only been touched by one guy. I'm so young and I feel like I've been cheated of a normal life. I'm so angry, and lost. I'm scared. I paid for someone else's disease.
Is it possible that he is a carrier? Has he been tested and are you sure it didn't come from him? Could it have been dormant in you for some time? I am not trying to be intrusive but you said you were just diagnosed. Maybe you had sex recently with someone else?
I am praying for you. Sorry that happened to you.
hey dont feel bad im 19 too and i contracted the disease as well as you around the same time. if you need someone to talk to im here for you because i need someone myself
my boyfriend has genital herpes and he told me in the beginning of our relationship but i choose to work through it because i love him. we have a few slip ups without condoms and so far i havent had any outbreaks but i am concerned because i heard its painful. is it possible for me to not have caught it ?? if someone has any answers email me at dandreaf26@yahoo.com
i feel you. i was having sex with a girl and we werent together for a while then she went out and got it and came back and gave it to me and your right its not the end of the world but i just found out today and depression is all it is. it hasnt sunk in yet but when i think about it im hopeless
Yes i understand. I just got my results back and i feel so dirty but ive only been with one person. Ive always tried to be a good person, not go out and be with every man. It just makes me angry because why is it that i catch it, someone who doesn't go and sleep around with everyone, and theres other people out there that do sleep with eveyone "unprotected" and they catch nothing. Im not saying that I want them to catch anything i just feel cheated. Now, Im single and am afraid to date. How would I ever tell that person what I have. Im so depressed. I know this is something ill get through but I fell so tainted.
I was just diagnosed yesterday. Funny thing is I have never had any symptoms. I got the std test because i am newly single and just wanted reassurance. I never expected anything would come back positive. I don't know how I got it or how long i have had it. I am devastated. I feel dirty, disgusting, nauseous, and I can't believe i can never have normal sex again. No one will want to date me once they find out. Honestly I would never want to take the risk with someone, so why would they? I can't even imagine bringing it up to someone I am dating. I feel like i wil be alone forever because i don't think I will even have the nerve to tell anyone.
I was diagnosed with herpes. I am only 16, it broke my heart. I felt alone, like the guy I was with was a liar. He was only my third partner. It was hard. I started by taking the pills called Hops. They relax you, make you feel almost somewhat stoned, and definately less depressed, (however they are addicting) They're natural plants though and do NOT harm the body. Aquaphor really relieves the irritation for herpes and any cracks or cuts or anything similar to that. You can find it at walgreens. It's somewhat pricy but you only need a small amount that you should apply every night until it's healed or when your vaginal area becomes irritated. I had one of the worst outbreaks ever known for herpes. Don't do sex until EVERYTHING is healed. Find someone you trust and tell them about your herpes, I found someone excepting of it. Just keep looking and hold off sex for now.
To all the girls that just recently found out that they have gential herpes, I found last summer that I too had it. I met a guy hung out with him for little over a month before I decided to have sex with him. I slept with hime twice, stopped talking to him and about a month later noticed that something was wrong. I cried, I thought and felt disguisted and basically accepted the fact that no guy would ever want to sleep with. Some edvice to you is that it is very important to keep your stress levels down that is a major cause for an outbreak. Also, eating healthy and exercising helps. I just recently spent some time with my ex and that sexual attraction between us never really died once we split so when we were hanging out I just came right out and said, " look, I'm gonna be real with you, told him my story and that I contracted gential herpes. And he was okay with it, called the guy a jackass, but my ex used a condom and it was great. You will get through this, it takes time, I still have my momments, but don't give up.
I am 19 and was diagnosed today.
I have made mistakes in the past and now am clearly paying for it. I feel so scared, not only that it might scare of the man of my dreams, but more because I want to live a normal life! At 19, I want to be able to date, go out, have sex occasionally- how can I when every person I want to do that with I will have to tell about the herpes?! How can I ever hope to have a normal sex life again!?!?!
I feel like mywhole life has changed. And yes, it could be worse. But its painful. I have to change my whole life? I have very low self esteem anyway, and this has only made it worse. I feel like I'm carrying around a sign on my head that reads 'damaged goods' or 'dirty slut'.
...
Lonely x
heyy girl i am in the same boat that you are. i have been recently diagnosed. i have been with my boyfriend for almost three years now and only had one partner before him. my boyfriend has not had any signs or symptoms and we've been having unprotected sex for about 2 years. he thinks i cheated and thats how i caught it but i've been faithful. i'm trying to live a normal life like you are but i feel the same exact way. how normal can it be are we even allowed to have a guy go down on us anymore. i'm pretty petrified to have my boyfriend do that to me but i want it so bad. i just need some answers so if anyone can give me some please do because i need someone to talk to. i dont have any friends to talk to or get any advice so i am extremly overwhelmed. we gotta stick together ladies<3
OMG, I had sex in a hot tub and 2 days later had pain. I ended up with Genital HSV 1... Could being in the hot tub make you even more susceptible to getting std's since the heat opens up your pores or something?
This is really crazy..I just was diagnosed w/ G.H. and the doctor says this was my first outbreak but I have had it for around a year now it was just dormat in my body.The nurse informed us that my husband is a carrier of it b/c he has never had a serious outbreak from it. I am still in a state of shock but it is getting better now that the outbreak has healed. The only thing I am having a problem w/ is that I am scared of giving the virus to my kids or anyone else by touching or kissing them even though I do not have oral herpes.. I know how everyone feels but like everyone else says that you have to live your life and knowing that you dnt have a disease that could kill you should be taken as a blessing and just know that there are 1 million NEW cases a year and it is expected to rise...
you just have to let go and live life to your fullest. When i contracted herpes and found out i was devastated.. when the doctor told me i had it i knew that second the person i had contracted it from. i confronted him about it and he denied the whole thing.. to this day he still denies it and i know for a fact it was him.. It's hard to find someone to love you after something like this happens in your life but you have to remember that if they're not going to love you for who you are good and bad then it's not worth it.. THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT! I had told my ex that i had herpes and he went to the clinic and everything to get tested and he didnt have it.. well 2 years later we talked about it and he had FORGOTTEN that i had herpes.. FORGOTTEN!!! HOW DO YOU FORGET SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!? well he did.. now he has it because he pulled the condom off half way through one night and i hadn't noticed.. I feel terrible about it but that definitely was not my fault.. you just get on in life. keep living keep loving. and be strong <3
you just have to let go and live life to your fullest. When i contracted herpes and found out i was devastated.. when the doctor told me i had it i knew that second the person i had contracted it from. i confronted him about it and he denied the whole thing.. to this day he still denies it and i know for a fact it was him.. It's hard to find someone to love you after something like this happens in your life but you have to remember that if they're not going to love you for who you are good and bad then it's not worth it.. THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT! I had told my ex that i had herpes and he went to the clinic and everything to get tested and he didnt have it.. well 2 years later we talked about it and he had FORGOTTEN that i had herpes.. FORGOTTEN!!! HOW DO YOU FORGET SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!? well he did.. now he has it because he pulled the condom off half way through one night and i hadn't noticed.. I feel terrible about it but that definitely was not my fault.. you just get on in life. keep living keep loving. and be strong <3
I just wanted to let you know, I was just diagnosed with genital herpes type one 2 days ago, also 2 days after my boyfriend broke up with me... we were both test before we had sex and were both clear but he got cold sores on his mouth alot but we didn't really think anything of it... I just wanted to let you know, you're not alone
hey i totally feel the same, i was just diagnosed today. i was at a lost for words, i was angery pissed confused. i almost broke my hand. i dont know how i got it i just started to have a real sex life and this is what happens to me. i have the depression mode... we just gotta be strong and stick together
just today I also was dign.. with herpes when i heard that my heart broke since i have only done it with my boyfriend of 6 years. We talked about it and i don't blame him, He told me he has never been with another women, not even oral sex. so i just don't uderstand, i believe cuz i love him and iknow he would do anything to hurt me. but i feel dirty like if im a walking desies.
i found out about amonth ago i couldent stop crying i have a daughter and i felt discusting around her i was scerd of tuching her incase she caught it i have tipe 2 but still dont know the fackts i am to inbarest to ask people ! the man i caught it of was the man of my dreams i was with him for a month and he past it to me with out telling me he had it then up and left me i was heart broken the to fined out he had left me with this i broke down afraid to tell people and tuch my daughter i havent told any1 because my family would disone me i am so angry the fackt i caught it you never think it will happen to you and then it dose please if you have any words or advice please tell me i have no 1 to talk to ? x
I contracted Herpes almost 10 years ago when I was 18. I also had only been with two partners and the boyfriend I got it from didn't know he had it (he had only been with one person). I felt disgusting and devastated as well. How could this happen and at such a young age?! I want you and everyone who is newly infected to know that it does get better with time. I have had a healthy sex life the last 10yrs and the partners I have been with have been very understanding. The one good thing that does come out of it is that you think a lot more about who you want to share your body and heart with. You will start to feel normal AND sexy again. So many people are living with it (I found out after that my older sister and my other sister's husband had it as well) and it will not kill you or stop you from having a wonderful, passionate, wink at that hot guy and feel confident lifestyle.
At the end of the day it's just a pesky skin condition that comes and goes.
Be strong!
I understand your pain and I do know how it feels to have someone give u something and leave. I was with my boyfriend for 1year and a few months. he broke up with because he said I was to fat and leat me remind you Im the same size I was when we met. I sometimes get down and feel bad and I wonder why but I am a firm believer that as women we can get passed this. i would recommand you visit this site http://www.ashastd.org/ they have great stories and ways to tell your new partner and other relationship advice. Girl continue to pray and everything will work its self out... Remember that you're not a nasty or bad person, things just happen and now it could be a great thing that you select someone who truly loves you when the time is right... Stay strong
MAN I felt that way to. I found out when I was 6 mo pregnant that I have HSV-2. I cried for 3 hours at my Dr. office. Then I got up went home and cried for 4 days in bed. I was so mad at my self I felt nasty I didnt want to touch anybody or them touching me. Didnt know what to do. So I called my aunt she said that its not end of the world stuff happens. That I have kids to look after that I need to keep my head up not to let stuff drag me down. But I was still mad at my self and mad at my husband that gave it to me. He said that he didnt know that he had it. I was like how you didnt know you had it when you said that it was heat bumps. All he would say was we will get thou this. It still took time for me to be ok with it. So now I have a 3 mo baby a 4 yr old that was befor my husband. I just look at my kids and say that I need to be here for my kids.
I know how you feel! I was diagnosed with having both last year in Nov. 2009. I was having so many repeated BV infections and decided to switch Doctors in which my new gynecologist reccomended a test for Herpes along with the standard Std tests and I also took an Hiv test. Everything came back negative with the exception of the herpes test. I am still to this date feeling devestated and at times feel depressed, unattractive and just lonely. I feel like my life is over and the bad thing about it is I have no idea when I contracted this disease and I don't sleep around at all. At the time when I had myself tested I was not dating anyone and now I feel my dating days are over due to the fact that I don't think anyone would want to date anyone that has any type of virus! I would feel guilty to date someone and continue to go far into a relationship and not tell him and telling him how would I know if I could trust him to keep it to himself if he decided he does'nt want to continue a relationship with me? I am so confused right now and I turn down any man that tries to talk to me for fear of not knowing what he has. I look at all men as being dirty as well and I know thats wrong but thats how I feel. I would love to find a partner for life but I have so many fears now. I have been married once and divorced 5 years ago and I'm not sure if I contracted this before, during or after my marriage. I've been praying and trying to educate myself about this thing as much as possible so that I can restore my faith and happiness in life so that I may live on and be happy again and I suggest you do the same because life is too short although its not going to be easy but you must try. Good Luck and may God bless you!!!
To you all that have been diagnose, feel happy that you know early on time. The fast you get the to treatment and stick with it the better chances you have of minimizing the recurrences. I know how you feel, I feel like shit the first time, and scare and almost depresing. But my doctor was an angel and he gave me support. First of all you got to know that you need to avoid depression by all means, this trigger the virus. Like sun also can do it. I start my treatment early, as soon as I feel some kind of pain on my inner tight, that is how I knew I was going to have a recurrence, I immediatly went to the doctor and got my prespricption pills. In my case I was using Fan-ciclovir. Know five years later, I have no recurrence at all, is like I never got it, but I know is there.
i totally feel your pain. i got herpes when i was 18, and i have had it for a year now and my desires are still gone. life with herpes seriously changes alot. i cried for a month - still do to this day. stilll wonder how i got it. my boyfriend left me that very same day as well. the best tthing for you to do is to just get tested for it - even tho it will hurt - its for the best. that way you can get medication and prevent outbreaks. - totally worth it. all we need to remember is that life goes on.. and even tho it may not feel like it now - things get better, and sooner or later you will find someone that loves you for you - and your herpes. :) at least thats how i look at it. i know its easier said than done but dont let this gt you down, and especially dont let it change who you are. :)
i found out i had herpes back in july. I suffered from bacterial menengitious in my brain that omost killed me! doctors said if i would have waited a few more hours i would have been dead, it was lead on by the herpes i never knew anything about.... i went to a party during the summer and got raped by a 28 yr old and im only 16. sex is normally something a girl will remember (drunk or not) but i didnt remember anything. i found out because he went to the bar that weekend and he was telling all his buddys about it and my brother was standing next to some of his friends and he hurd what he was saying and asked the name of the girl he was talking bout and a few more questions and figured out it was me.... so he was threatned to leave the state and he hasnt came back sence but i have a hard time dealing with it and getting in relationships is hard for me because i dont want to infect anyone else so iv been single ever since.
I have a question...I went to the doctor a couple weeks ago and was diagnosed with Herpetic stomitities, my mouth is painful with swollen lips and tounge burns, I have blisters all over inside my mouth and under my tounge..The doctor didn't do any test just guessed at it and gave me Acyclovir 800 mg. he said it was something i got by being around someone who had it and breathed on me...it hasn't gone away and is still there in my mouth..so a couple days ago he done a mouth swob, Test will be back soon...but i was wondering does that sound like something i could of got through oral sex from my husband? He doesn't have it that we know of but mabye he does and its dormant....I never knew you could get herpes through oral sex...but hopefully thats not mine is...but whatever it is it's painful in my mouth.
I just got diagnosed about a week ago and im 16... i dont knwo what to do. I have genital and oral and i am not an unatractive kid. I like this girl that does not have herpes and i dont know if i should even try anymore because i dont want to put her at danger.. im feeling sick to my stomach just talking about this honestly its bringing stress upon stress and it seems that my blisters on my penis have not gone down but actually spread a little bit.. i feel like im gnona puke. can i atleast kiss the woman i love without giving her this shit?
im 22 i found out i had herpes two months ago im a very attractive guy and it kills me to know i have this. I used to get all the attention from the girls i still do (im very attractive) but now i dont feel the same confidence as i used to. im sad most of the time. My g/f doesnt have it but she down sizes me all the time for having it. i wish things were different i hope they find a cure im scared i just want to have sex again without feeling this dirty little secret. forget that i just want to go on a date again . sometimes life just sucks i need a pen pal preferably a beautiful girl to make me feel confident who knows maybe we could start a relationship one day i have type 2 by the way any one with type 2 interested
I contracted oral herpes from my husband 5 days ago. My doctor told me I contracted it from whoever i had sex with. Yes! Oral herpes is what i got, and i got it from oral sex with my husband. my doctor said if my husband had contracted it, it was recent. Probably within the month. I would definately ask him to tell you the truth, but first ask a doctor the likelihood of this being supressed. It sounds like he cheated on you. I was in total shock and still can't believe it. A bunch of girls are coming out of the woodwork now too. I am sorry he did this to you, but this is your life. Take control, make sure you take care of yourself, and find the answers you need. Also, try not to let your bad thoughts consume you. It is hard but even if you can just clear your head by walking it will help.
I was just diagnosed today. I was pretty sure I had it, but to hear my doctor tell me, was terrifying. I'm not sure where I got it from, but I get tested yearly and have only been with 4 people including my Husband. I am now pregnant, and was tested at the beggining of the year and 3 times scince I have been pregnant. 2 came back negitive but the last one came back positive. Is it possible I had it the whole time and it was never found? I had sex with my husband and a few days later I had a blister, so I immedately called my doc and went in the next day. Is it more likely I got it from him and maybe he cheated? I never thought he would cheat, but I have been fooled before. Now I don't know if I can trust him. I just want answers and I'm so confused. Plus we have been fighting alot lately and I am scared of whats gonna happen. If he leaves me or vise versa, how will I ever be able to date again? I know everyone talks about how there is someone who will accept you no matter what, but I know if a guy told me that, I deff wouldnt have sex with them. I would be cool with them, and its not like I would tell anyone, but I know I wouldnt date someone who I knew had Herpes. And now that I see it from the other side how can I expect someone to do it for me? I feel so horrible about myself, and feel so dirty, and like I will never want sex again, and I cant stop crying even now. And if I gave it to my husband, then I feel like a horrible person, and how do I tell my exes, incase I gave it to them? And if thats the case then one of them gave it to me, but how would I know who? I've done alot of research and talked to my doctor about it, and I feel pretty well educated but I'm just so scared, and totally confused.
i to have genital herpes i contracted it at age 13 as a result of running away from home.boy i wish i would of been more aware of stds.from time to time i start to become resentful an confused about my status.i dislike meeting a nice guy who i share great chemistry with because i dont want to expose myself or infect him.im ready to find someone whom i can be honest with about my std that will be loving,accepting,understanding,and last but not least good in bed [after all i am a freaky cancer] just remember herpes is something that you have not what defines you
TO EVERYONE WHO HAS HERPES!!!!!! I HAVE HAD HERPES FOR 10 YRS NOW, TAKING THE USUAL MEDS, GENERIC FOR VALTREX. IT DIDN'T WORK...I STILL HAD OUTBREAKS ONCE A MONTH AND ALWAYS ITCHY!!!! MY HUSBAND AND I ARE IN TO HOLISTIC HEALING, SO I DID A LOT OF RESEARCH AND FOUND THE BERRY, CAMU CAMU. LET ME TELL YOU, THIS WORKS WONDERS!!!! I HAVE EVEN STOPPED TAKING MY PRESCRIBED MEDS!! I'VE BEEN ON CAMU CAMU FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS,AND SO HAPPY TO SAY I AM OUTBREAK FREE!!! I AM NOT A SPOKESPERSON, I'M JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE WITH GH, AND WAS TIRED OF GETTING OUTBREAKS!! AND ANY MAN WHO CANNOT ACCEPT YOU NO MATTER WHAT...THEY'RE NOT FOR YOU!!!! THIS REALLY DOES MAKE GH MANAGEABLE! DO YOU'RE RESEARCH, LEARN ALL YOU CAN AND EDUCATE THE PERSON YOU'RE WITH...TAKE THEM TO YOUR DOCTOR AND HAVE THEM TALK TO THEM. IT WILL BE OK, I PROMISE...JUST DON'T EVER EVER SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WITHOUT TELLING THEM FIRST, EVERYONE DESERVES A CHOICE!! TAKE CARE!!
TO EVERYONE WHO HAS HERPES!!!!!! I HAVE HAD HERPES FOR 10 YRS NOW, TAKING THE USUAL MEDS, GENERIC FOR VALTREX. IT DIDN'T WORK...I STILL HAD OUTBREAKS ONCE A MONTH AND ALWAYS ITCHY!!!! MY HUSBAND AND I ARE IN TO HOLISTIC HEALING, SO I DID A LOT OF RESEARCH AND FOUND THE BERRY, CAMU CAMU. LET ME TELL YOU, THIS WORKS WONDERS!!!! I HAVE EVEN STOPPED TAKING MY PRESCRIBED MEDS!! I'VE BEEN ON CAMU CAMU FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS,AND SO HAPPY TO SAY I AM OUTBREAK FREE!!! I AM NOT A SPOKESPERSON, I'M JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE WITH GH, AND WAS TIRED OF GETTING OUTBREAKS!! AND ANY MAN WHO CANNOT ACCEPT YOU NO MATTER WHAT...THEY'RE NOT FOR YOU!!!! THIS REALLY DOES MAKE GH MANAGEABLE! DO YOU'RE RESEARCH, LEARN ALL YOU CAN AND EDUCATE THE PERSON YOU'RE WITH...TAKE THEM TO YOUR DOCTOR AND HAVE THEM TALK TO THEM. IT WILL BE OK, I PROMISE...JUST DON'T EVER EVER SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WITHOUT TELLING THEM FIRST, EVERYONE DESERVES A CHOICE!! TAKE CARE!!
TO EVERYONE WHO HAS HERPES!!!!!! I HAVE HAD HERPES FOR 10 YRS NOW, TAKING THE USUAL MEDS, GENERIC FOR VALTREX. IT DIDN'T WORK...I STILL HAD OUTBREAKS ONCE A MONTH AND ALWAYS ITCHY!!!! MY HUSBAND AND I ARE IN TO HOLISTIC HEALING, SO I DID A LOT OF RESEARCH AND FOUND THE BERRY, CAMU CAMU. LET ME TELL YOU, THIS WORKS WONDERS!!!! I HAVE EVEN STOPPED TAKING MY PRESCRIBED MEDS!! I'VE BEEN ON CAMU CAMU FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS,AND SO HAPPY TO SAY I AM OUTBREAK FREE!!! I AM NOT A SPOKESPERSON, I'M JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE WITH GH, AND WAS TIRED OF GETTING OUTBREAKS!! AND ANY MAN WHO CANNOT ACCEPT YOU NO MATTER WHAT...THEY'RE NOT FOR YOU!!!! THIS REALLY DOES MAKE GH MANAGEABLE! DO YOU'RE RESEARCH, LEARN ALL YOU CAN AND EDUCATE THE PERSON YOU'RE WITH...TAKE THEM TO YOUR DOCTOR AND HAVE THEM TALK TO THEM. IT WILL BE OK, I PROMISE...JUST DON'T EVER EVER SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WITHOUT TELLING THEM FIRST, EVERYONE DESERVES A CHOICE!! TAKE CARE!!
TO EVERYONE WHO HAS HERPES!!!!!! I HAVE HAD HERPES FOR 10 YRS NOW, TAKING THE USUAL MEDS, GENERIC FOR VALTREX. IT DIDN'T WORK...I STILL HAD OUTBREAKS ONCE A MONTH AND ALWAYS ITCHY!!!! MY HUSBAND AND I ARE IN TO HOLISTIC HEALING, SO I DID A LOT OF RESEARCH AND FOUND THE BERRY, CAMU CAMU. LET ME TELL YOU, THIS WORKS WONDERS!!!! I HAVE EVEN STOPPED TAKING MY PRESCRIBED MEDS!! I'VE BEEN ON CAMU CAMU FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS,AND SO HAPPY TO SAY I AM OUTBREAK FREE!!! I AM NOT A SPOKESPERSON, I'M JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE WITH GH, AND WAS TIRED OF GETTING OUTBREAKS!! AND ANY MAN WHO CANNOT ACCEPT YOU NO MATTER WHAT...THEY'RE NOT FOR YOU!!!! THIS REALLY DOES MAKE GH MANAGEABLE! DO YOU'RE RESEARCH, LEARN ALL YOU CAN AND EDUCATE THE PERSON YOU'RE WITH...TAKE THEM TO YOUR DOCTOR AND HAVE THEM TALK TO THEM. IT WILL BE OK, I PROMISE...JUST DON'T EVER EVER SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WITHOUT TELLING THEM FIRST, EVERYONE DESERVES A CHOICE!! TAKE CARE!!
TO EVERYONE WHO HAS HERPES!!!!!! I HAVE HAD HERPES FOR 10 YRS NOW, TAKING THE USUAL MEDS, GENERIC FOR VALTREX. IT DIDN'T WORK...I STILL HAD OUTBREAKS ONCE A MONTH AND ALWAYS ITCHY!!!! MY HUSBAND AND I ARE IN TO HOLISTIC HEALING, SO I DID A LOT OF RESEARCH AND FOUND THE BERRY, CAMU CAMU. LET ME TELL YOU, THIS WORKS WONDERS!!!! I HAVE EVEN STOPPED TAKING MY PRESCRIBED MEDS!! I'VE BEEN ON CAMU CAMU FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS,AND SO HAPPY TO SAY I AM OUTBREAK FREE!!! I AM NOT A SPOKESPERSON, I'M JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE WITH GH, AND WAS TIRED OF GETTING OUTBREAKS!! AND ANY MAN WHO CANNOT ACCEPT YOU NO MATTER WHAT...THEY'RE NOT FOR YOU!!!! THIS REALLY DOES MAKE GH MANAGEABLE! DO YOU'RE RESEARCH, LEARN ALL YOU CAN AND EDUCATE THE PERSON YOU'RE WITH...TAKE THEM TO YOUR DOCTOR AND HAVE THEM TALK TO THEM. IT WILL BE OK, I PROMISE...JUST DON'T EVER EVER SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WITHOUT TELLING THEM FIRST, EVERYONE DESERVES A CHOICE!! TAKE CARE!!
im 22 also. I have been living with type 2 for about 4 months now. when I found out i cried in the hospital and the man who gave it to me told me he would never leave me. HA think again. player.i dont understand why it didnt really bother him to have this disease. he had no visible signs of it.i know how you feel being sad and your self esteem going to an all time low. I am very attractive and I am always getting hit on. but in the back of my mind I think about this curse. I feel I will never find anyone who will love a zombie. I have been bymyself to reasure I will not spread the virus. Im scared about it . I wont lie. Im terrified. Ive learned that stress is my main flare up. i am hoping to find someone someday that will love me for me . and not judge me because I was a victim. A VICTIM. so doll dont give up there are millions of people out there who have this curse. you will find someone who truely loves you for you.
never give up.
well today i went to the doctor to get tested because i have a bad breakout and to top this off i just had a baby recently and i had a c section due to previous problems with high blood pressure but today when the doctor told me it might be herpes i called my fiance and asked him if he was cheating but then i found out it can show up years later but i just dont understand why it didnt show up when i had all my test done during my pregnacy thing is me and my fiance are working threw it i love him and i no he didnt cheat i pray i just stop crying so much and i pray its just an infection that can be cured i wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy og dbless you all
BEST REPLY YET,I'M A 50 YR OLD MAN ,AND FOUND OUT THAT I HAD GH ABOUT A YEAR AGO.HAD NEVER HAD ANY KIND OF STD IN MY LIFE,BUT GOT MARRIED,AND FOUND THIS OUT ONE YEAR AFTER OUR VOWS,AND MIND YOU DIDN'T HAVE AN AFFAIR PRIOR TO THAT SO I WAS CAUGHT A LITTLE OFF GAURD,BUT NEVER THE LESS,IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD PEOPLE JUST A MINOR EMOTIONAL SET BACK.BE STRONG AND REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE.AND BE THOUGHTFUL OF THOSE YOU BECOME INVOLVED WITH,AND JUST SO YOU'LL KNOW THERE ARE MORE OF US THEN NOT TRUST ME.
BEST REPLY YET,I'M A 50 YR OLD MAN ,AND FOUND OUT THAT I HAD GH ABOUT A YEAR AGO.HAD NEVER HAD ANY KIND OF STD IN MY LIFE,BUT GOT MARRIED,AND FOUND THIS OUT ONE YEAR AFTER OUR VOWS,AND MIND YOU DIDN'T HAVE AN AFFAIR PRIOR TO THAT SO I WAS CAUGHT A LITTLE OFF GAURD,BUT NEVER THE LESS,IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD PEOPLE JUST A MINOR EMOTIONAL SET BACK.BE STRONG AND REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE.AND BE THOUGHTFUL OF THOSE YOU BECOME INVOLVED WITH,AND JUST SO YOU'LL KNOW THERE ARE MORE OF US THEN NOT TRUST ME.
Hi there! I was just given the news myself...confirmed by the culture test done when I went to the hospital. It is not your fault and yes feeling like it is the end of the world is normal...but you have to go on! It has been one month since all this began and I am slowly feeling better! Reading as much as possible, about this disease, has helped me and I hope you get through this sooner than later. Stress is a negative factor...so we will need to try and be positive! There are worse things we could have caught! Look on the bright side...at least take it one day at a time!
Samara
When I read this it really made me think...I've had it for about 2 years & can't get over it. There being no guys at all for me to date near where I live being depressing me more....and I used to be really into drugs. Living normal is something I've never done but would like to.
I'm going to take what you wrote and try to turn things around. I've seriously become a hermit, all I do is sleep. A change needs to be made & I know that but how to help myself is something I don't know how to do. When I start dating again I wish my partner had it to make it easier.
The best thing I NEVER break out. It's been over a year since my last break out. So I'm very very very lucky. And it's like I don't even have it. But I'm so scared of being rejected when I start dating again.
Anyway....I want to thank you for what you wrote it really ment something to me. And I will try my hardest to live my life & apprieciate the good things I have.
Thanks again :>)
i know most people are against lesbian relationships but im hoping that wont stop someone from responding, i will start by saying that i am lesbian, and only seventeen... i let a 21 year old girl, that my mom hates, "go down on me" and now im really worried that i might have gotten something from her. is it possible for a girl to get something just from someone going down on her??
I just wanted to ask how do you order this cum stuff you never said that part do you get from your docyor are what please email thank you for the info
Hello,
Have you and your partner had oral sex? If so, did you use a condomn? I have never had an outbreak.... and I do have genital herpes. I was wonder If I could get herpes in my mouth from giving my boyfriend oral sex. I'm sure it's possible... just want to know if you've tried.
yes it is 95% chance that you may have it, because you had sex with him unprotected serval times. go and get tested thats the only way you can find out fore sure. why did you have unprotected sex with him you supposed to put your life first.
that's wuts wrong now with females, do put all your trust into no man , only god. and most guy wont tell you because they want you to have it and then blame it on you. its aok to love just do be stupid with it, because you come first.
it will be ok just move on because life is to short. just thank god that it was not HIV ok . you will date again just give yourself some time. and please use something wen you do start back having sex, because you is a high risk of getting something else.
hey girl,
your not alone.
I was just diagnosed on saturday.
but you seem to have a much milder outbreak,
i cant even pee or anything it hurts so much.
It is hard, but youll be ok.
You have family that love and support you.
and i know what you mean about the part where you cant even look at men the same anymore cause i feel it too.
but were together on this! stay strong.
I am a male with HSV/2 and I am certain That I gave my girlfriend HSV/2 by giving her oral sex because I had an ulcer on my tongue when I performed oral sex on her.3 weeks later she had all the sympyoms of HSV/2. I got tested and was positive for HSV/2 and thankfully nothing else. I just continue to edjucate myself with this virus although I have never had any symptoms.It pisses me off that I gave this to my dear future wife. I just didn't know I had anything.
P.S. I have had those ulcers on my tongue since I can remember, mostly after eating lots of tomatoes.I don't know if I am right about my theory,but I think it may be possible to pass both HSV/1 and 2 through an ulcer in the mouth.As a note this ulcer does come back rarely but on the same location on my tungue. If it ever comes back I am going to have it tested.
can you tell me more about camu camu? Do you take it as a vitamin or powder? Which has worked best for you? I am recently diagnosed with HSV-II and depressed. I am interested in giving camu camu a try.
I'm a 55 year old widowed man of 36 years married and dated my wife 4 years.
My wife passed away this year.
And I have found a young lady of 41 I lve her dearly not yet had sex but It won't stop me.
I will be careful I know of what I have to do but plan to put a ring on that GIRL.
The best thing to do would be research camu camu, it's a berry grown wild in the Amazon. Traditionally used to fight premature aging, it contains 30 times more vitamin c than an orange of the equal weight. It really does work way better than the perscripiton meds. I don't know how it works, but it does. Don't worry, whoever you meet, or are with, explain and educate, take them to the doctor with you to have the doctor explain. Whatever you do in life, just don't hide it from the ones you're dating, married to, or sleeping with. They can either accept it, or move on...good luck , it's going to be ok. melissa
The best thing to do would be research camu camu, it's a berry grown wild in the Amazon. Traditionally used to fight premature aging, it contains 30 times more vitamin c than an orange of the equal weight. It really does work way better than the perscripiton meds. I don't know how it works, but it does. Don't worry, whoever you meet, or are with, explain and educate, take them to the doctor with you to have the doctor explain. Whatever you do in life, just don't hide it from the ones you're dating, married to, or sleeping with. They can either accept it, or move on...good luck , it's going to be ok. melissa
Yes i feel your pain. I was diagnose three weeks ago. I got it from my child's father and i feel so betrayed. I don't even feel like the same person anymore. Everytime I think about it i cry and get depressed. I don't know what to do or how to feel. I wanna have sex but im scared because i don't wanna give this desease to anyone else... Someone please help!!!
What is the suppressive therapy exactly?
I was just diagnosed today and trust me all of you arent alone. I'm only 17 years old and feel as though a giant burden has been placed inside of my body. Today I had to call a guy that I was hooking up with and starting to get to know and like and I am almost positive that he won't ever talk to me again. I'm embarrassed and shocked. I feel as though I will never get to have a normal sex life. But I have to stay strong, I have to keep telling myself that I am going to survive this humilliating event and I still am beautiful even though I have an imperfection.
to trix ..... its sad that you feel that way. To judge someone and not give them a chance just because they have this condition just seems stuck up. Yes ... you wouldnt want to catch this. But if you have done your research ... you would know that if all preventative measures are taken .... the chance for transmission from men to women is 2% .... and women to men 1% .... thats 98 to 99% chance you will not even get the virus. Ive been living with it for 10 years ... since i was 18 ... got married to a woman whom didnt have it. Im divorced now for other reasons, but either way ... it goes to show. and honeslty ... after 9 years of being with the same woman ... and 4 times a week sex life unprotected. .... shes still not a carrier. But it does go to show that people with your personality and mindset might miss out on the partner of their dreams ..... over a skin condition that is merely an incovenience ..... and only sometimes
I totally feel where you are coming from. I am a (not to be cocky) very atractive guy. I was given herpes by a girl i met and we eventually lasted 7 yrs. Well she didn't tell me at the time and i found out the hard way. I never got angry and we were happy for 7 yrs and have 2 beautiful kids. BUTTTTT we recently split when i caught her in bed with a friend. She didn't tell him so when i walked in i certainly did tell him and she got mad for embarrasing her. RUDE HUH well since being single i am feeling like i will never find someone to accept me for the fact that i have herpes. I want to be intimate with girls and when it comes to me liking someone and intimacy comes into play i run. WHAT DO I DO? I FEEL DIRTY!
I,m 45 yrs. old.I've bin sick for 8 yrs.The woman who made me sick KNEW she was sick ,and never told me. I stayed with her for 5 yrs.I didn't know what to do, and as long as I stayed with her there wasn't an issue.I didn't love her,but was willing to settle.3 yrs ago I broke it off, she was just such an asshole I couldn't do it any more.I have bin alone for these 3yrs.I have tried to meet simarily affected women with NO LUCK. I've met and had (THE TALK)with several (normal)women,and bin rejected every time.This situation has made me very awhare of the lack of careing for each other, within ( our )comunity.Lately I have bin thinking about suiside,I have grown so angree at my lack of ability to influance my situation. It seems to be the only viable solution. The thought of anouther holaday,birthday alone is enough to make me load the gun!!!.About the only thing that has stopped me is the affect it would have on my mom(she dosn't know and NEVER will).I hope i can hang on till she dies.Thanks for giveing me a place to vent.Chris
I know how you feel. I went to visit my long distance ex boyfriend(well wasnt my ex then--is now) and we had unprotected sex like we always had--I was faithful to him while we were apart but apparently he wasnt. I found out two days after I got home that I had it. I'd broken out pretty badly. He completely ignored the fact he's slept around therefore ignoring me completely. Anyways, depression did hit pretty hard but i've had it for almost 6 months now and sometimes I do still get depressed because now me and my current boyfriend cant always have the sex we want to but the best thing for you to do is talk to your doctor about getting a supply of valacyclovir. I have to take 1000 mgs a day for the rest of my life but I also have not had another outbreak since I contracted it. It helps and using condoms makes your chance of passing it along to your partner a lot less. I have maybe a 25% chance or less of passing it on now. It will get easier to deal with in time.
I was diagnosed with herpes 3 days ago. I just got out of a 3 year relationship with my first love. I met a guy who treated me better than anyone ever has and I fell in love with him. I had just got tested before him and I had nothing. Unfortunately I believed him when he told me that he loved me and I was the only one...2 days before my outbreak I found out that he has been cheating and that he knew he had it...the worst part is he told me he didn't have anything, he refused to use protection, and he started to ignore me as soon as he knew I was at the doctors and they were going to test me. I am having the hardest time accepting this, I know it is not the end of the world and it could be worse but I don't understand how someone could do that. I feel like I have just cut myself short, I'm only 20 and I feel like this is all my fault...I could really use a friend right now, I'm not comfortable telling anyone I know and to my knowledge none of my friends would understand.
well i know that it has been awhile since you posted your comment but i was just doin research and found your post. i was diagnosed may 2010 and at first i was devestaded i thougth my girlfriend had given it to me but she didnt it had laid dormad in my system for years and finally had surfaced. bad thing was that the only gal i had been with that had it we had used protection. (guess it wasnt very protective) but it now more than a year later and the pain never went away but it did get easier to handle. the only bad thing for me is that i am in the military and i am deployed so the stress level is very high which make me have more outbreaks. (seems that stress for me induces outbreaks) and my commander decided that he wanted to tell people that i have it so my whole battalion knows about it and it really errks my chain everytime someone says something. (ex. i was in a watch tower and like soldiers always do there was writing on the walls so im reading them laughing and then i see "John" has herpes. and i really just wish i knew who wrote it. but im over it now but its just the little things like that that really get to me. but for everyone out there only tell people you can really trust you dont want to have to deal with all the stuff that i have to go through. im just lucky that my new wife accepts me fo who i am and doesnt judge me. for everyone out there who has herpes keep your head up and your faith in God and good things can still come your way there is a silver lining in every situation
thank you for your time and
God Bless
U.S. Soldier
Rabbit
female condom was a life saver for me try it , they used to sell them at walgreens , now only online . these are so much better than traditional condoms . though they look hidious they are great .
hey, im really sorry to hear what has happened to you. i took a culture and it says i have g.h i dont know what kind ither. It hurts my heart to know i could have this. like you i dont know if i could live a normal life ever again. i met the love of m live a year and a coupple months ago. i told him what my culture said. he thinks i cheated on him. i havent ever been with someone else, even when we got into fights and we wouldn't be together for a week or so, i never so much as held someones hand. i hope that the blood test comes back and says i dont have anything. i dont know how long i have had this but it makes me cry every time i look at my 4 month old. i never had the clap or anything, i thought of myself as a clean person. so now i dont even know what my little family is going to do in the future. break apart because the father thinks i cheated on him... Or him to take the risks with me, be my partner through all of this and just to love me for me. i wish and i have payed that this all goes away. I have dreams that its going to all be ok, but then when i wake up in the morning, im still this infected person, who doesn't know how i got this.
hey, im really sorry to hear what has happened to you. i took a culture and it says i have g.h i dont know what kind ither. It hurts my heart to know i could have this. like you i dont know if i could live a normal life ever again. i met the love of m live a year and a coupple months ago. i told him what my culture said. he thinks i cheated on him. i havent ever been with someone else, even when we got into fights and we wouldn't be together for a week or so, i never so much as held someones hand. i hope that the blood test comes back and says i dont have anything. i dont know how long i have had this but it makes me cry every time i look at my 4 month old. i never had the clap or anything, i thought of myself as a clean person. so now i dont even know what my little family is going to do in the future. break apart because the father thinks i cheated on him... Or him to take the risks with me, be my partner through all of this and just to love me for me. i wish and i have payed that this all goes away. I have dreams that its going to all be ok, but then when i wake up in the morning, im still this infected person, who doesn't know how i got this.
I was just diagnosed, too. I'm very scared right now, of course, but I wanted to ask you, you said you used to take a lot of drugs. I'm a raver and my DoC is MDMA. Do you know if it's possible to still take drugs recreationally even if one has herpes? I mean, I'm not planning on it soon or anything and I know "drugs are bad for you." But, I'm serious... I love the rave scene and I like psychadelics and ecstasy, so it would be awesome if you had an answer.
I know that this is hard to deal with.. and i understand the hurt you feel and how you feel cheated. in my situation the man i was with suspected something and still didn't think it was necessary to tell me. from the sounds of it your guy didn't know and the second he found out he was very honest with you. i know it will be a challenge but you need to some how pull something from this and let this go, cuz ultimately your guy is in the same boat you are, and he probably feels awful for getting you involved. so take your time but try to forgive and try to see that your not the only one out that.. much love and take care
You are 16 and he is "only" your hird partner? No wonder we are having an epidemic of Herpes.
hey I have a question ? So by you being pregnant means you & your husband had unprotected sex. So does he have genital herpes too?? & when he treatedyou oral sex were you having an outbreak?
Honey trust me.. I am a good looking girl and I just got diagnosed with it. I am scared to tell my boyfriend and I feel ike hell leave me if I tell him what I have. I amm sooooooooooo scareed!
i found out this past wed. that i have genital herpes. im in a state of shock and denial. how do you move on? wants to talk to someone in same situation..
yes, it's possible. herpes type 1 (for example) can be passed via mucus membranes..so infected person(male or female) with a sore can pass it by going down on you. other things may or may not pass in a similar manner. call your dotor or local clinic for more specifics.
When she's says 'only' I can relate because I was just diagnosed and both of my partners I was very close with for years, even though I am only 17. In this day and age, there are girls who sleep around with 20+ guys and never get anything. So yes, she is allowed to say 'only' her third partner. Show some respect. No one asks for herpes. And I'm sure she loved the guys she was with.
Hi, i am a college studen too, 20, so i completely relate to you. my ex (who wasnt even my official bf) gave me it and didnt know he had it adn to this day denies he has it and claims his test results were negative. he stayed with me but he was a complete jerk so i broke it off. i never even had intercourse with him and have not since a few years ago. i wondered how and why me!?! i feel that no one will want to have anything to do with me once i tell him i have this (mine is type one on genitals) it is so rare in that form and im actually seeing a guy now but its only been a couple weeks so i am not going to tell him yet about this. i think it is not his business considering we just met and we barely know each other yet and i wouldnt normally be ready for more than kissing anyways. i hope you reply to me too because i have a hard time with being in public my friends will make std jokes for fun and its alwasy HERPES its never another one. and they equate it with dirty people and get grossed out and in m head im screaming i HAVE IT! its not fair when they do that i defend herpes but i dont want to give away that i have it. even the guy im seeing made a joke so that worries me more? does this happen to you around friends and dudes?
Pray for me I just found out yesterday and i been seeing this wonderful man for the past year, i believe that he is my soulmate. I think i had it for a long time, my first boyfriend gave it to me that was 7 years ago. I always been very careful and i protect my self. I dont know how to tell this person. Im afraid.
thank you that reallly help me to see life again in a good way.
OMGOSSSH exaclty what you said with the guy and cleanliness i look at everyone around me and think of them all as clean and im not... incredibly depressing and i wish so bad i could tell my family the ones i love and care about but im so afraid i cant its miserable i cant bring myself to tell anyone except my best friend who i trust with my life i really wish i could have had chlymidia instead of herpes it goes away this doesnt.
OMGOSSSH exaclty what you said with the guy and cleanliness i look at everyone around me and think of them all as clean and im not... incredibly depressing and i wish so bad i could tell my family the ones i love and care about but im so afraid i cant its miserable i cant bring myself to tell anyone except my best friend who i trust with my life i really wish i could have had chlymidia instead of herpes it goes away this doesnt.
OMGOSSSH exaclty what you said with the guy and cleanliness i look at everyone around me and think of them all as clean and im not... incredibly depressing and i wish so bad i could tell my family the ones i love and care about but im so afraid i cant its miserable i cant bring myself to tell anyone except my best friend who i trust with my life i really wish i could have had chlymidia instead of herpes it goes away this doesnt.
OMGOSSSH exaclty what you said with the guy and cleanliness i look at everyone around me and think of them all as clean and im not... incredibly depressing and i wish so bad i could tell my family the ones i love and care about but im so afraid i cant its miserable i cant bring myself to tell anyone except my best friend who i trust with my life i really wish i could have had chlymidia instead of herpes it goes away this doesnt.
OMGOSSSH exaclty what you said with the guy and cleanliness i look at everyone around me and think of them all as clean and im not... incredibly depressing and i wish so bad i could tell my family the ones i love and care about but im so afraid i cant its miserable i cant bring myself to tell anyone except my best friend who i trust with my life i really wish i could have had chlymidia instead of herpes it goes away this doesnt.
OMGOSSSH exaclty what you said with the guy and cleanliness i look at everyone around me and think of them all as clean and im not... incredibly depressing and i wish so bad i could tell my family the ones i love and care about but im so afraid i cant its miserable i cant bring myself to tell anyone except my best friend who i trust with my life i really wish i could have had chlymidia instead of herpes it goes away this doesnt.
OMGOSSSH exaclty what you said with the guy and cleanliness i look at everyone around me and think of them all as clean and im not... incredibly depressing and i wish so bad i could tell my family the ones i love and care about but im so afraid i cant its miserable i cant bring myself to tell anyone except my best friend who i trust with my life i really wish i could have had chlymidia instead of herpes it goes away this doesnt.
OMGOSSSH exaclty what you said with the guy and cleanliness i look at everyone around me and think of them all as clean and im not... incredibly depressing and i wish so bad i could tell my family the ones i love and care about but im so afraid i cant its miserable i cant bring myself to tell anyone except my best friend who i trust with my life i really wish i could have had chlymidia instead of herpes it goes away this doesnt.
OMGOSSSH exaclty what you said with the guy and cleanliness i look at everyone around me and think of them all as clean and im not... incredibly depressing and i wish so bad i could tell my family the ones i love and care about but im so afraid i cant its miserable i cant bring myself to tell anyone except my best friend who i trust with my life i really wish i could have had chlymidia instead of herpes it goes away this doesnt.
OMGOSSSH exaclty what you said with the guy and cleanliness i look at everyone around me and think of them all as clean and im not... incredibly depressing and i wish so bad i could tell my family the ones i love and care about but im so afraid i cant its miserable i cant bring myself to tell anyone except my best friend who i trust with my life i really wish i could have had chlymidia instead of herpes it goes away this doesnt.
OMGOSSSH exaclty what you said with the guy and cleanliness i look at everyone around me and think of them all as clean and im not... incredibly depressing and i wish so bad i could tell my family the ones i love and care about but im so afraid i cant its miserable i cant bring myself to tell anyone except my best friend who i trust with my life i really wish i could have had chlymidia instead of herpes it goes away this doesnt.
OMGOSSSH exaclty what you said with the guy and cleanliness i look at everyone around me and think of them all as clean and im not... incredibly depressing and i wish so bad i could tell my family the ones i love and care about but im so afraid i cant its miserable i cant bring myself to tell anyone except my best friend who i trust with my life i really wish i could have had chlymidia instead of herpes it goes away this doesnt.
OMGOSSSH exaclty what you said with the guy and cleanliness i look at everyone around me and think of them all as clean and im not... incredibly depressing and i wish so bad i could tell my family the ones i love and care about but im so afraid i cant its miserable i cant bring myself to tell anyone except my best friend who i trust with my life i really wish i could have had chlymidia instead of herpes it goes away this doesnt.
OMGOSSSH exaclty what you said with the guy and cleanliness i look at everyone around me and think of them all as clean and im not... incredibly depressing and i wish so bad i could tell my family the ones i love and care about but im so afraid i cant its miserable i cant bring myself to tell anyone except my best friend who i trust with my life i really wish i could have had chlymidia instead of herpes it goes away this doesnt.
It's been a long time since you wrote your post, but I am compelled to comment. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful and I hope that in the year since you wrote this post, you realized that you are beautiful and anyone worth their weight will support you.
I was recently diagnosed (approximately 2 months ago). My husband has had herpes for years and it was misdiagnosed prior to our getting married. Since we always used condoms prior to marriage, I had no idea. When he went to the doctors, they failed to give him a blood test and it was misdiagnosed. Now we have both been diagnosed and we may not even stay married. Not just because of the diagnosis; we were having other serious problems.
What I want to impress upon you is that I am old enough to be your mother and in fact have children older than you. At first, I was depressed. That is normal! What you should know is that you are not your disease. You are loved for who you are, not because of a disease. And this disease is no different than cancer, lupus, diabetes or anything else that a person will live with for the rest of their lives. You live with it. The key to that is the you LIVE!
I wish you well and pray that you are living a full and fulfilling life!
I toally understand where you're coming from. I just was told by the doctor at the ER that I have genital herpes the Sunday before I went back to school from Thanksgiving break. I thought my life was ruined. I had just started talking to this new guy and I really like him. I got my first outbreak the day I went home for Thanksgiving break, and so by the time we got back from break, I was in so much pain I couldn't even be around him. A week has gone by, and I still haven't told him. I'm waiting until the hospital calls back with certain results, even though she was almost positive that I have it. I'm so scared to tell him. All I can think about is him being so distgusted by me. A week has gone by and I'm still here. I'm still smiling and breathing and dancing. I'm still putting together how I'm gonna tell this guy...or how I'm gonna tell my best friends....
I feel ya. 19. I still have my life ahead of me. I'm still new to this information, and I'm not gonna lie, at times I still feel ashamed to look at myself and see this beautiful girl who is alone. I wonder how I'm going to find that guy who will love me knowing that I have this. How can they?
Hey girl. i was recently diagnoesed with it also. i got it from a guy who had no idea he had it. i thought it was the end of the world. i never thought i would be able to be with someone again and actaully be happy. yes depression was there for a few days, but honestly, just think positive. thats what i did. its just something you are going to have to live with. and if the guy doesnt take it very well then hes not a good guy. yes its scary to tell and for someone to hear you have herpes, but its not that bad. there are medications out there that lower the outbreaks and they dissapear within a few days, its like having a second period. i just started a relationship with this amazing guy and honestly i was terrifed to tell him. but one night things started getting hot, so i had to tell him. i basically sat up started balling my eyes out and told him. yes he was in complete shock, and i thought he never wanted to see me again. but i was totally wrong. we talked about it a little bit after he clamed me down from crying, and at the end of the night after he said he wanted to sleep on it. he changed his mind and said he didnt need to sleep on it. he asked me to be his because of how amazing i am, and that he wants me to be that special person to him. hes not going to let this get in the way of that. and honestly i almost fainted. you just have to be careful, and you will find someone who will be like that for you. check out this site, it helped me out alot.
http://www.happy-with-herpes.com/symptoms-of-herpes.html
it has alot of amazing info on it, and a section about dating!
i promise everything will be okay!!
I am 18 years old and in callege and i just got my results last month. I cried because i felt the same way. But i keep telling my self this is just a skin imperfection, and it doesnt define me as a person and its a blessing not a curse because if you are talkin to a guy and feel he is a person you see a future with and you tell him and he stays and is understanding thats a man that truely loves you. I have it on my mouth and genitals i got it from my ex boyfriend, we were together for 6 months and we broke up 6 months before i found out and when i told him he said ohh thats what this bump is, he had it for a long time and never thought anything of it or told me. I hated him at first, but i let it go because all anger and hate is going to make me sad and depressed. I dont want to live like that. I dont sleep around, the guy im talking to now knows and if we do decide to do anything we will use condums. And as far as oral goes if a girl wants to do that to her man well they have flavored condums just put one on him and do it that way. now for a guy giving oral to a girl that i have no answer to. Yes rejection is possible, but remember having herpes doesnt define you as a person.
does this site give your email address out?
My boyfriend was just diagnosed with herpes and I do not want to leave him. I love him. I just need to know what or where I can go to be careful so that he does not transmitt it to me, can you help? I need more information, please. Higher Powers are the best ; )
Don't feel like that. I can assure that someone will love you for you. I do not have the disease and my boyfriend of only a month just told me he has it. I am not going to leave him. I love him and believe that when love is envolved you can work through anything. Get more information. Knowledge is truly power. Also, if you havn't believed in a power greater than yourself up to now...now would probably be as good time as ever to rely on something that can help you with those feelings. You are turly not alone.
I was diagnosed after being raped at age 17. Aside from dealing with being violated, I thought my sexual life was over. I had a boyfriend at the time and had to tell him. We stayed together for three more years, and luckily, he didn't get it. Now, five years later, I'm with someone new, and he is incredibly supportive. For all of you who have been diagnosed recently, especially at a young age like I was, you will quickly learn that herpes is not only a medical condition, but also a test of character. You can choose, as most people do when they first learn they are positive, to let it define your self-image, and to sulk about it. Or, you can look at it for what it is-- a sucky, but not life-threatening condition that one in five Americans have. It happens, and you WILL feel better with time. Having herpes does not say anything about who you are as a person. I know it may seem like the end of the world now, but trust that it's just a condition that you will become comfortable with over time. The best advice I can give is to always be honest and up-front about it before being sexually active with someone. People are far more receptive and understanding that you'd think! Don't worry, I know it seems like the worst thing that could happen now, but it does get much better, I promise.
I say go for it......me and my bf perform oral sex and we are fine..i dont know if we are just looky but nothing has happened and it is an amazing feeling, just do it then wash and brush your teeth immediately after wards if that will help you to feel more comfortable.!
I say go for it......me and my bf perform oral sex and we are fine..i dont know if we are just looky but nothing has happened and it is an amazing feeling, just do it then wash and brush your teeth immediately after wards if that will help you to feel more comfortable.!
hey, i'm 18 and a female, and just reading where you said you'd like someone your age to talk to. Well I had to get tests yesterday for genital herpes and i get the results back tomorrow. Everytime i think about it I feel disgusted with myself and I am so angry. The person i've been sleeping with (for 5 months) is in Japan and the night before he left we were together, the next day I woke up and knew something wasn't right and so it started from there. reading everyones comments on here i can relate to them all 100%. even though my results haven't come back positive yet, the doctor seemed pretty certain herpes is what I had. i just want to cry all the time im so angry at myself and my partner. i know (from reading and what the doctor told me) it isn't the end of the world but it bloody well feels like it. anyway, if you're still interested id love someone to talk to as well who could possibly relate. if you'd like to email me jchandler12@live.com.au that'd be really great.
all the best.
i just want you to know youre the first person i feel i can relate to based on what you said lol ever since i found out i probably have it (havn't had the test but gyno pretty much confirmed it) ive been so depressed and i feel like ill never find someone bc who in their right mind would want to willingly sleep with or marry someone with an infectious uncurable disease if they dont have it? and then i always read on these sites people all seem to have a partner who usually doesnt have it and their lives are just perfect and they're accepted for it and it causes no sexual problems. i feel like ill be in a sex slump for the rest of my life.. i just cant look at it the same
hey i was diagnosed a few days ago an im kinda pissed because the person dont have anything else to do with me and i feel like im mad at the world. right now and im talking to this other guy now an im scared to have sex or do anything with him.
hey i was diagnosed a few days ago an im kinda pissed because the person dont have anything else to do with me and i feel like im mad at the world. right now and im talking to this other guy now an im scared to have sex or do anything with him.
wow...i am so sorry to hear that. I am glad you worked through that
Well It seems kind of suspitious that he picked that day to break up with u. Perhaps he had cheated and knew something . If I were u I would call him and question him.
Good luck.
i just found out last week that i have it. i cant stop crying. i kno how you feel. i dont kno who i got it from, and that makes me the most mad. iv done some research and everything says to just start to move on. im so sorry this happend to you, and i hope your mental state gets better because im in the sameeeee boat. im veryyyyy depressed, and dont kno what to do. im actually on some anti depressants, and they help, a lot. just finding out this put me right back where i was. but we have to realize that it isnt the end of the world. i really thought it was, but reading about someone who has the same problem, i feel like we can both get through this. good luck girl ;]
My story's kind of quirky. I'm 27. A little under two years ago, my best friend's girlfriend had requested that they both get an STD test before making the move to unprotected sex. He called me after learning the results: he tested positive for herpes. He was such a wreck. I played it cool, but in my mind all I could think of were the "scared straight" STD presentations I had to sit through back in high school and the Marine Corps. "Herpes" had always been such a nasty word with nasty connotations, "the gift that keeps on giving", etc.
Concerned for my friend, I did some research. I couldn't believe what I discovered: roughly 1 out of every 5 people has a form of Herpes, and only 20% of those who have it know they have it because most carriers are asymptomatic. In a nutshell, Herpes is super common, not a big deal for most people, and certainly a far cry from the STD slides I had been subjected to in the past. My best friend was going to be okay.
Fast forward a few weeks, and I'm having sex for the first time with a girl I was falling in love with. Alas, I didn't use protection, which she had shown no objection to (word to the wise, having unprotected sex in general is not the best idea, and having unprotected sex with a girl who shows no objection to having unprotected sex is probably even less of a good idea
). The following week, things start heating up again in her bedroom, but she doesn't want to have sex. I asked if she was on her period. She wasn't. I asked if everything was ok, or if I had done/said something. She said that wasn't the problem. It was really bizarre. Finally, a few hours later, she let it out. She told me about how she had contracted Herpes the previous year from a guy who didn't even know he had it. Unfortunately, she wasn't so lucky: not long after sleeping with him she had her first outbreak.
Had this incident happened a month prior, before I knew anything about Herpes, I probably would have put my clothes on, left her house, and never spoken to her again. How could she have let me have unprotected sex with her knowing she had Herpes? Instead, thanks to the research I had done a couple weeks back, I was totally cool. Oddly, I almost welcomed it so that my best friend wouldn't have to cope by himself. I did get tested afterwards, and the test came back positive, which didn't really affect me at first. It just meant I didn't have to worry about having unprotected sex with this girl, who would end up being my girlfriend, and later, my ex-girlfriend.
I've only ever had two outbreaks, both tiny, painless, and only lasting a day or two, so I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I think a lot about how things will play out once I start dating again. Don't you guys wish having Herpes meant you automatically had the power to identify other people who have it?? How awesome would it be to just be able to detect them at the bar and be like, "Hey, wanna dance?"
I wish I had herp-vision...
I feel the same way...I honestly think I got it from him having pre symtoms of a cold sore and he performed oral sex on me... I mean alot of people get cold sores on the lips even I do.. He tends to get them more than I do. That is my belief on how I got this on my genitals....IT SUCKS!!! But I also have gone into a depression mode and feel like everybody knows I have this. I question if I should even have sex anymore and so cautious of constantly washing my hands and not sharing anything with anyone. I am on Valtrex {expensive}... I take one a day to prevent outbreaks, and still I feel like I am going to have them everywhere on my body =(
From Reading all that everyone says on the internet I have been able to take some releif in the fact that you and I are not alone. Yes, herpes has an awful negative stigma sttached to it, but a lot of that is from people being uneducated on the matter. Yes, herpes is a virus. Yes, it is with you forever, but you're not going to die, you are still healthy, young, and active. you have your whole life ahead of you. I am a 20 year old college student and had my suspisions up to 2 days ago and just got conformation today that I have HSV-2. I find myself walking around looking at other girls and realizing that were not the same anymore, but noone but you knows that. I'm glad to hear you have your parents for support, I havent summoned up the courage to tell them, and even if I did, maybe only my mom. I do have my best friend though to talk to and she has been amazing. I want you to know that I feel your pain. Its not fair. We're good people and this is a not so good thing that has happened to us. But it's not the end of the work sweetie. And there are so many more people out there that have it than you would think. 1/4 of the US population? That's extreme! People just are not open about it becasue it is an embarassing thing to talk about. But you're not alone. You're life is not over, relationship wise or sexually, you just have to be more careful now. Things are going to change but just don't let it take over your life. You have so much left to offer the world- make the most of the hand that you are delt and be greatful that its not cancer or a brain tumor or something fatal like that. You're still YOU- still shine as bright, make as big a mark on the world as you can. The only people who are going to know about this virus is the people you choose to tell, People you get into relationships with, and hopefully, if you mean enough to them, they will overlook the disease and love you for you and that will be enough.
It's all going to be okay- I promise
From Reading all that everyone says on the internet I have been able to take some releif in the fact that you and I are not alone. Yes, herpes has an awful negative stigma sttached to it, but a lot of that is from people being uneducated on the matter. Yes, herpes is a virus. Yes, it is with you forever, but you're not going to die, you are still healthy, young, and active. you have your whole life ahead of you. I am a 20 year old college student and had my suspisions up to 2 days ago and just got conformation today that I have HSV-2. I find myself walking around looking at other girls and realizing that were not the same anymore, but noone but you knows that. I'm glad to hear you have your parents for support, I havent summoned up the courage to tell them, and even if I did, maybe only my mom. I do have my best friend though to talk to and she has been amazing. I want you to know that I feel your pain. Its not fair. We're good people and this is a not so good thing that has happened to us. But it's not the end of the work sweetie. And there are so many more people out there that have it than you would think. 1/4 of the US population? That's extreme! People just are not open about it becasue it is an embarassing thing to talk about. But you're not alone. You're life is not over, relationship wise or sexually, you just have to be more careful now. Things are going to change but just don't let it take over your life. You have so much left to offer the world- make the most of the hand that you are delt and be greatful that its not cancer or a brain tumor or something fatal like that. You're still YOU- still shine as bright, make as big a mark on the world as you can. The only people who are going to know about this virus is the people you choose to tell, People you get into relationships with, and hopefully, if you mean enough to them, they will overlook the disease and love you for you and that will be enough.
It's all going to be okay- I promise
From Reading all that everyone says on the internet I have been able to take some releif in the fact that you and I are not alone. Yes, herpes has an awful negative stigma sttached to it, but a lot of that is from people being uneducated on the matter. Yes, herpes is a virus. Yes, it is with you forever, but you're not going to die, you are still healthy, young, and active. you have your whole life ahead of you. I am a 20 year old college student and had my suspisions up to 2 days ago and just got conformation today that I have HSV-2. I find myself walking around looking at other girls and realizing that were not the same anymore, but noone but you knows that. I'm glad to hear you have your parents for support, I havent summoned up the courage to tell them, and even if I did, maybe only my mom. I do have my best friend though to talk to and she has been amazing. I want you to know that I feel your pain. Its not fair. We're good people and this is a not so good thing that has happened to us. But it's not the end of the work sweetie. And there are so many more people out there that have it than you would think. 1/4 of the US population? That's extreme! People just are not open about it becasue it is an embarassing thing to talk about. But you're not alone. You're life is not over, relationship wise or sexually, you just have to be more careful now. Things are going to change but just don't let it take over your life. You have so much left to offer the world- make the most of the hand that you are delt and be greatful that its not cancer or a brain tumor or something fatal like that. You're still YOU- still shine as bright, make as big a mark on the world as you can. The only people who are going to know about this virus is the people you choose to tell, People you get into relationships with, and hopefully, if you mean enough to them, they will overlook the disease and love you for you and that will be enough.
It's all going to be okay- I promise
I think that there is always a chance to catch it from oral sex. Its a real bummer. When I was diagnosed I thought my dating life was over. You just need to change the way you date. I prefer to use sites like stdcommunity which are free to try to meet others that also have herpes.
hi im 19 now i was diagnosed a week ago it s been killing me one second i feel normal then something reminds me and completly changes my mood. i saw you posted this 2010, how has it affected you since then?
hi im 19 now i was diagnosed a week ago it s been killing me one second i feel normal then something reminds me and completly changes my mood. i saw you posted this 2010, how has it affected you since then?
I am so confused...I went for test because it was time for my annual. I had no sores, no pain, no itching...NOTHING! I normally get screened for all STD's period. Then I get a call from the doctors office asking me to come in. Doctor said I had chlamydia, gave me some antibiotics and said I'd tested positive for HSV but, they werent sure if it was 1 or 2. A week later it is genital herpes...I am so...not sure how to put it in words just yet. I have been with only ONE partner, and at my last test, nothing came up. He has cheated on me in the past but, I have never cheated on him. I confronted him and he says he doesnt have it...at least his last test came up clean. I have demanded he get tested again...but, what does that do? He's already irresponsible and I am now paying for it. Who knows where he got this from and is now giving it to me. Also, what if he is telling the truth and he doesnt have it? Who did I get this from? Before this relationship I hadnt been in one in about 3yrs and I got tested every year. I am a firm believer in monogamy and I am rewarded with herpes. It is just horrible.
What bothers me the most is I have had NO symptoms! NONE at all...Now, I have to tell my family about it...how do I take my medication when I do not have symptoms?! Am I to just guess? I know that I can still carry on as I used to...
I have had the virus for 30 years and seriously, the hardest part of all these years is the discomfort of telling a new partner. The medication is on the $4 prescription drug program so it is relatively cheap. Take it 4 times a day every day for a week the first outbreak, reduce it to 2 one day 3 the next, 2 the next, 3 the next and so on for the next week then one per day every day. Just please be honest with each new partner. It's easy to live with and now, after 30 years, I only break out once or twice a year. Really the symptoms are easy to recognize 2 days in advance. Cramps in your upper butt cheek when the virus 1st leaves the ganglion pouch in the base of your spinal column then cramps behind your knee, then in the arch of your foot. When you feel the cramps in your butt, double up on your medication and most times that will prevent an outbreak.
i just got diagnosed with it sunday morning. October 14, 2012 exactly. i never thought it would happen to me but it did. i was warned multiple times but always thought i was some kind of superhero and everything is good. well didnt life slap me in the face... what im tryn to say is that i am feeling the same way as you. very sad, angry, frightened... but as i was doing some research on the internet i looked at some positives and one that stuck out was that when one door closes a new one opens and how now we are going to value everything so much especially relationships. i hope this cheers u up a little bit but you have to stay strong for everyone that has this.. hopefully things get better for all the people that have this as i believe it will. im 20/m from chicago and im devasted but trying to keep my head up. stay strong
Genital herpes and herpes on the mouth are not the same thing. Many people have Herpes Simplex B on their mouth or lips, that is NOT genital herpes and you didn't give it to him. Matter of fact, people that have Herpes B are less likely to develop symptoms of the latter.
No Name.
I was just diagnosed on October 10th, 2012 and i know how you feel buddy. ever since i found out i can't even think about having sex at all. The worse part about it my gf went to get tested this pass wednesday and was not diagnosed with herpes so now i dont have a clue of how i got it. Im so confused but its just something im just going to have to live with and suck up my feelings.
No Name.
I was just diagnosed on October 10th, 2012 and i know how you feel buddy. ever since i found out i can't even think about having sex at all. The worse part about it my gf went to get tested this pass wednesday and was not diagnosed with herpes so now i dont have a clue of how i got it. Im so confused but its just something im just going to have to live with and suck up my feelings.
If you dont mind ma asking, where abouts can i look for this therapy and medication? Is it possible if your partner has genital herpes, but has no signs of outbreak and recieves oral, although no outbreak.... is it still possible for the partner to get the oral herpes then n there, one time... or does there have to be an outbreak. If so how long before oral herpes shows?
Dearest Friend,
I am so sorry for your diagnois. I was diagnosed in April and it was a shock too. I know how you feel exactly. It it an overwhelming feeling but trust me you will get thru this. Just read all the information you can on it. It will guide you well.
I got this from my boyfriend that I was supposed to marry. I had been married for 27 years and had not had sex with anyone else until him. I had been tested before him and I was negative. Then I tested again after we broke up and I was positive. He had gone to the doctor the day before we broke up. I think he knew and just couldn't be man enough to tell me.
Hang in there and it will be ok.
A friend who cares (:
Dearest Friend,
I am so sorry for your diagnois. I was diagnosed in April and it was a shock too. I know how you feel exactly. It it an overwhelming feeling but trust me you will get thru this. Just read all the information you can on it. It will guide you well.
I got this from my boyfriend that I was supposed to marry. I had been married for 27 years and had not had sex with anyone else until him. I had been tested before him and I was negative. Then I tested again after we broke up and I was positive. He had gone to the doctor the day before we broke up. I think he knew and just couldn't be man enough to tell me.
Hang in there and it will be ok.
A friend who cares (:
Dearest Friend,
I am so sorry for your diagnois. I was diagnosed in April and it was a shock too. I know how you feel exactly. It it an overwhelming feeling but trust me you will get thru this. Just read all the information you can on it. It will guide you well.
I got this from my boyfriend that I was supposed to marry. I had been married for 27 years and had not had sex with anyone else until him. I had been tested before him and I was negative. Then I tested again after we broke up and I was positive. He had gone to the doctor the day before we broke up. I think he knew and just couldn't be man enough to tell me.
Hang in there and it will be ok.
A friend who cares (:
I agree telling your new partner is the worse. But in all right conscious you need to tell them. Just prepare yourself in your mind that if he rejects you it wasn't meant to be. If he accepts it then he cares about you. Hang in there. It will get better. REMEMBER WE DID NOT ASK FOR THIS TO HAPPEN TO US. WE ARE STILL LOVEABLE PEOPLE.
hi there,
i feel the same way...im a pretty girl and i used to and still get attention from people, but i know they're fools for giving it to me...if they only knew what i have, they'd probably nver even come near me...i am looking for support and even someone i can actually be friends with and share a bond with because i dont think even ur best friend cant understand what ur going thru...u can only talk to someone who already has it and know what exactly ur saying!!
if u wanna talk, u can email me
hi there,
i am in the same boat as u...if u want, we could be friends because i dont think ne one else, even ur best friend can realize what ur talking abt unless they have it...i really want a good friend to talk to and get thru with this together...
I read a comment someone posted that they didn't think they could ever have kids because they have herpes. You can have children. I have had herpes for over 6 years and when I was diagnosed I too was in shock and got depressed. However, I got pregnant and had a c-section so as not to infect my baby. I take daily antiviral drugs to help reduce outbreaks althought it's really hard to tell I have any outbreaks as I don't get bad lesions. What I get is a tingly feeling and what feels like a cut and soreness in one area in particular. I didn't know I had it until blood tests were done. The symptoms I'm describing could be misdiagnosed as yeast, bacterial infections or because I shave that I have cut myself. I am single and have been rejected when I tell someone who wants to get intimate with me that I have herpes. It hurts and makes me feel terrible, but just something I have to deal with.