Shocked but attempting to deal with it: 2

Mask is goin strong Living With It I got diagnosed with herpes 3 days ago. I'm 19, and got diagnosed in early July. I generally love living... Send Message Subscribe: Mask

Monday, July 21, 2008
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But the fact was, it was already stinging...so I applied it gingerly over the visible sores, only to realize that yeah, hmm, even if the stinging increased only by a fraction, it still increased. So I grabbed a handful of tissues, jammed a folded postcard into my mouth to bite down on for the pain, a...

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Can't believe it!
Anonymous
Tuesday, July 22, 2008 at 11:30 PM

Its as though you took the exact words out of my mouth...literally. I too have been diagnosed recently (four days ago) and every excruciating detailed pain you described; from pain while peeing, to that prickling pin-like feeling with every movement, to discomfort while walking are all the things i'm going through. These past two days at my job have been so embarrassing. When I walk, its very obvious and i've resorted to telling coworkers that its a simple "sprain in my ankle". Seems like the easiest excuse since i've been walking as though i'm limping.

On the outside i'm able to carrying on normally minus the pain with each movement, but on the inside i'm still having troubles coping with this. The only two people i've told were my boyfriend and mother. I'm currently not speaking to him because i'm dealing with issues of wondering if this is something he knowingly passed along to me. They say some lucky people show no symptoms, i'm wondering if he's had it all this time and honestly didn't know. I don't know what to believe as he's been telling me over and over that he "doesn't know whats going on". I really want to believe him, but I told him I just need some time to myself right now.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that i've read your words and it really helped things for me. Your post was the most relatable to me and I truely appreciate you sharing. I look forward to any future updates on your progress!

- India

re: Can't believe it!
Mask
Wednesday, July 23, 2008 at 07:37 AM

Hi

wow, im so glad my post helped you. how strange of a coincidence is it that we were to go through this at just about the same time? ill keep posting on how my recovery goes so you'll get an idea on what to expect. for the record, last night i was able to begin walking normally again, albiet very slowly. the pinpricks have lessened greatly and today ive been walking just fine at a more regular pace.

i know its hard wondering how you got herpes in the first place. but you're right, it is possible to have it with no symptoms, so maybe your boyfriend really had no clue. maybe when you're feeling better you can talk to him about that. I've decided i don't care how i got it. even if i know, i dont think it would make me feel any different. im just trying to focus on the good in life for now.

it must be very hard having to go to work all through this. im currently on holidays from college and im finding it hard to even focus on this paper i have to write. i admire your strength in going through with it, and wish you all the best. i wish us both the best fo luck in getting better as soon as possible!

re: re: Can't believe it!
Anonymous
Thursday, July 24, 2008 at 09:12 PM

Cheers to us for having the ability to walk normally again! Urination is also getting alot better and no longer a traumatic experience. And having to work right in the middle of all this was really tough, but I managed to pull through. I'm slowly but surely beginning to accept it all, but its still tough. And i'm absolutely dreading coming across one of those "herpes commercials" where everything seems all honky dory between the couples.

In regards to the boyfriend, when i'm up for it we'll have a conversation about all this. Like you at this point there's nothing that can be done to reverse all this, but I want to know how, when, why, etc.

Well that's that for now...good luck on your paper!

- India (which of course is not my real name, lol, but i thought it sounded pretty cool)

Initial outbreak
Bewildered
Friday, December 05, 2008 at 07:44 PM

I was just recently diagnosed as having herpes to my horror and shock. I was shocked because I haven't had sex in nearly 10yrs My gynecologist said it was possible for me to have it without showing any previous symptons. However, I haven't found any information on dorment herpes. I don't think my gynecologist believed me when I said that I haven't been sexually active in a very long time.

I feel dirty and break out in tears whenever I think about it.

re: Initial outbreak
Mask
Friday, January 09, 2009 at 04:08 AM

Oh dear, thats terrible. It is true though that herpes can lay dormant for a long time, maybe you could look it up in this website, I believe they would have addressed the issue.

I understand completely what you mean about feeling dirty and ashamed, I do too. It's very hard to grasp that one can be infected with something so drastic when you're less than promiscuous, especially in your case it must be awful --10 yrs of no sex and then out of nowhere, thats terrible-- but you must come to realise that you aren't dirty. you know that, and that should be enough for you. What anyone else thinks shouldn't matter, especially people who have no relation to you, like your gynae, he is just your doctor, not someone you have to face everyday. It doesn't matter what he thinks, he doesn't know you like you do.

I hope you find the strength to accept it and find happiness in life.