Hurt and lost

By lostkitten Sunday, August 01, 2010

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I was just diagnosed this past week. I'm trying to get as much information as I can. I'm a single mother of two wonderful children and am downright scared. I will see a counselor this next week and then go in for a re-exam in a week. I keep hoping that I'm going to wake up, but it's not happening. I already had a hard time finding a man that would accept me with two children and now I have this to top it off. I obviously don't want to be in a relationship right now, but I do know that I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. All I want to do is cry, but I can't around my children. I can get through the life changes, but I worry about later when I decide to start dating again. How does that work? I feel so tainted and damaged. I realize that as time goes on, my thoughts will change, but right now it's hard to picture a more complete life. I keep thinking this is one cruel joke. Everything in my life was finally falling into place and now this. What do I do? If anyone can offer any words of advice or courage, I would appreciate it.

Comments (5) | Add comment

Anjali, Editor

8/ 2/10 4:04pm

Hi,

welcome to our community and thank you for sharing. You are certainly not alone, just come and browse our site for proof of that and a little hope that your life can and will go on.

Please visit out Living With Herpes page which includes info on many lifestyle issues related to having herpes, from advise on dating, to tips on how to minimize your outbreaks.

oaktree2009

8/ 5/10 8:56am

I was diagnosed February of 2009. It is tough, I'm not gonna lie, but it is better in a way. Once you have this, you gotta be really careful, and honest. If a guy is really in to you as a person, usually they are at least willing to talk about it and consider the options. If they run, you can bet they were looking for one thing. Take really good care of yourself to minimize outbreaks and keep your stress level down as much as possible. Also consider looking at some of the herpes dating sites. They r out there. I've met some nice people on them, but not the right person for me, yet. I'll be sending out prayers and good wishes to you. Hang in there.

lostkitten

8/ 8/10 1:02pm

Thank you, I really appreciate the good wishes. I go in for another exam this coming week. I will admit that there is still a small part of me that is in denial, but I'm trying really hard to accept this and move on. Explaining to myself that this isn't a reflection of who I truly am. I feel embarassed about it though. It's complete frustration. I've been trying to read as much information as I can, so that I can talk more freely with my gyno. I prefer to be as informed as I can. I was finally starting to get back into the dating world and then was hit with this little surprise. So now I've got to step back again.

lostkitten

8/ 8/10 1:26pm

I plan on asking my gyno about this, but I'm curious if you might have insight. When I had gone in for what I thought was a UTI, the doctor did a scraping, or swab on the inside of my vagina. He said that it should hurt what he was doing, but I couldn't feel it. I knew what he was doing, but wasn't in pain. I've been reading information where people are saying that the scraping was painful. I had a couple of lesions on the inside, but have not seen any on the outside. The area wouldn't be numb, would it? And because I haven't seen anything on the outside, how am I supposed to know when I'm shedding, or having an outbreak, if it's only on the inside?

oaktree2009

8/ 9/10 11:13am

Just from experience. Sometimes the inside of the vagina isn't as sensitive as the outside because the nerve endings are not as close to the surface or maybe there is more muscle...not sure. I know from personal experience I've had biopsies internally, no anesthetic and I hardly felt it. Outside is a different ball game all together. OUCH. As far as knowing when you are "shedding" sometimes you migh feel achy or tingly in the pelvic area in general, and if you do, make sure to take precautions. Unfortunately, sometimes you can shed and just not know it. I do not take the meds all the time, BUT if I am seeing someone, I always take one of the meds daily for added protection.

Hurt and lost

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