It's great to have a place where I can come and be completely transparent about what's going on, because as you all know, not EVERYONE is very accepting when it comes to things like this. I felt dirty, I felt betrayed, over and over this one question ran through my mind, "Why me?" Here is a little background on me.

I am a choir director for Christ's church in Laurel Ms. where I've attended church basically all of my short life (I'm 22 lol). I grew up in the choir, and it is an honor to be over this choir at such a young age. I've sang since I was 4 years old, made my first recording at 6. I continue to sing even now, with all of my heart. Anyways, I met my husband in Dec 04, and we married in July 05. We found out we were pregnant with my precious daughter in Oct 05. She was born in June 06. Her name is Gabriela McKenzi. She is just as sassy as she is beautiful. well, in July of 07, we decided we wanted more..well we got off birthcontrol and started trying... well in the Summer of 08 when we STILL weren't pregnant we got worried. I started having HORRIBLE pain, and none of the dr's in my area would really listen to me. I had one dr tell me I had PID. well I didn't believe that so I went out of town to a dr. He listened and told me it sounded like I had endometriosis. He did a laporoscopy and I did infact have a bad case of endometriosis. He cleaned it out in Oct. 08, and in March of 09, I found out I was pregnant. You talk about being ECSTATIC. I love kids, and so does my husband. Well, my husband has been in RN school (He graduated this past May 10) and it was a tough time for us. on April 29, I had a dr appt. I was having an ultrasound done and the nurse said, "I'll be right back I need to ask the dr a question". I automatically started crying because I knew something was wrong. I found out they thought the baby's heart, intestines, everything was outside the body. So I got transferred to a specialist. I went to the Specialist in the beginning of May, and they did say everything was outside the body. Well, he wanted the baby to grow more so they could really see what all was outside the body. I hit my 2nd trimester and I was SO excited because I was out of the 'danger' stage of my pregnancy for risk of miscarriage. I went to the dr on May 19, just 2 or 3 weeks before I was finding out what the sex was... and the baby had died. I was devistated. My heart was torn to pieces. We had waited and waited to get pregnant, and the baby died. My heart still hurts and I can still remember that day like it was yesterday. I can remember the tears I've shed and the prayer that I prayed that day. Well, we've still been actively trying since June 09, with no luck. I've read this can cause infertility, so I'm praying for a miracle. So we've had alot of heartache in the last 2 years, but we are still going strong so yea, I have no doubt we can make it through this. we WILL make it through this.