I finally told him my secret.

So, I posted a couple of weeks ago about whether I should tell my new guy I have herpes or not. Well, last Wednesday night we were laying on my hammock, and he told me he wanted me to open up. (He knew something was up because I told him I needed to talk to him about something and then I chickened out.) I got scared, again, and told him it wasn't a good night. This upset him. I finally told him ok, and I explained to him that I had genital herpes. I have to say I probably didn't do a good job at telling him. I didn't explain anything mostly because everytime I opened my mouth I felt like I wanted to cry, but I knew that probably wasn't the best idea. Although I didn't do my best at explaning, he was absolutely incredible responding to my secret. He held me and told me how much he respected me for telling him. He told me everything was going to be ok. He told me how much he cared about me and how awesome I was. Honestly, I would have never thought he would have responded so well. It made the situation so much easier. The next day he came to my work and asked if he could take me to lunch which I said yes. The next night he took me out for sushi, and he didn't act any different than before I told him. We hung out all weekend. The other day he asked me if I was his girl, and I told him of course. He has been so great, but the problem is I sit here just waiting for him to change his mind and leave. This is more miserable than when I was dreading telling him. I don't know how to relax and just enjoy his company. How do I quit worrying so much?

But, I thought I'd share my experience. He is the first guy I told, so this gives me such hope for the future that everything will be ok. I was one of those who was abolutely devasted, and I have days where it hits me and it still tears me apart. I thought I'd never ever date again. I thought no one would ever like, want, or love me. And here, the first guy I tell repsonds incredibly. I really needed that. It gives me such strength.