Hello Everyone,
I really hate the fact that i have been infected with the virus. I was diagnosed when I was 17 and it really hurted me becuase it was a non-consent sexual relation.
Before I was diagnose, I remember not being able to walk or even move due to the pain that the sore caused. When I got to the doctor, she said that it was one of the worst cases she had ever seen in her porfession, and subsequently i was treated for it. I took Valtrex for a period of six months and I t was one of the worst experiences i have ever gone through.
Although this doctor told me that i have herpes and she explained to me that i will have breakout here and there, i have not have ANY breakout since then. I am now 24 years old and i have never experience anymore sores. I am happy about that and not having any breakout all these years makes me feel like i actually dont have the virus.
However, when it comes to dating, I am always concern (and I hate the feeling). At the age of 18 I got pregnant and at the ag of 20 i got pregnant with my second child and both pregnancy went without any complications with regards to the virus. The father of my children knew about my diagnoses but he performed oral sex anyways. We also had unprotected sex. We had a sexual relationship of about 3 years where he never used protection and he never got infected.
My last partner, who was also aware of my diagnoses, performed unprotected oral and vaginal sex. We had a relationship for almost one year, and he never had any breakouts.
I am dating a new person now, and I really care for thiis guy. I enjoy oral sex to the fullest and it makes me very upset that i may put him at risk if he performs it. He does not know about my diagnoses yet, and we have not have any sexual relations as of now (he is currently in another state) but we will see each other soon and we both want to please each other......
My BIG question is "I have never had any breakout....... may the doctos made a mistake on my diagnosis?...... can anybody been diagnose with herpes and then not have any breakouts?..... what are the chances of me giving it to my partner - since the only time i had breakouts was at the age of 17 when i got diagnosed....-?
Hi,
That's wonderful that you haven't had any outbreaks since. I've had it for a year and I only had one outbreak. However, my mom confided in me after I told her of my diagnosis that she contracted herpes when she was in her early 20s as well. She was given acyclovir (similar to Valtrex) at her initial infection. However, she's 46 now and she's never had another outbreak all of her life. She had 3 kids and we didn't contract it at birth either. Therefore, to answer you first question, you'r enot the only one who has experienced this and I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that you were wrongly diagnosed. Also, if they gave you Valtrex and that eased up your symptoms-then you prob. very well had it. However, there's an easy way to reassure yourself- take a blood test. There's an IgM and IgG test which they do. Since you had a previous infection, your IgG values would confirm that you Had Herpes.
I'm a medical student, so I also know a lot of the background of the Herpes virus. This virus remains dormant/latent in your body. This can be from days to years. However, there are special triggers for the virus such as light, stress, caffeine etc. This would result in the re-activation of the virus. I'm sorry to say that, your partner is AT RISK for infection. He needs to know. However, with the help of drugs like Valtrex, the transmission rate is greated reduced- Valtrex would have to be take by you and not your partner.
Well I hope this has been a bit helpful. In a nutshell, I know it sucks, but you would have to share it with your partner before you have sexual relations- I think it would be best. For example, if you don't mention it to him and then you're tense during sexual relations- this might contribute "to that stress" which triggers the virus- now that's not good at all...play it safe chic!
("play it safe chic" haha....)
*Thank you very much for your respond, I really appreciate it*
I will surely look into the test you've mentioned on your message :).
In terms of the stress.... I also get a little confused on that part. I was inform that stress can trigger a breakout, however, my life is extremely stressful and still no breakouts. I am on my senior year at NYU, I hold two jobs and have two beautiful children (single mom :]) and there is nothings else but stress in my life right now....but still no breakout? hmmmm? lol
Honestly, it really really sucks to know that one have the virus. I will tell my current partner about it but I am afraid that he will get so scare that he would not even touch me. He comes from a very conservative culture and these kinds of topics may be a bit too much, but hey...... I don't really have another option :0]
I wish you the best in your career and I know you will be a great doctor since you are already showing that you care about the community and others by sharing your knowledge :0]
Best,
KP
hey KP,
Wow, I have a lot of respect for you in terms of balancing all those things in your life- in addition to having herpes! I'm glad you're on this site because you can be such an inspiration to those that think life is over with Herpes (like i used to think). This reminded me of something- when I first got diagnosed, I asked the doctor, "Can I still practice medicine?". She replied, "Am I not treating you right now?". I was confused for a minute since she said it could not be treated and I had it for life. Then she continued and said to me, "I have herpes myself!". What a shocker! But it was quite comforting. lol. Sorry for side tracking, but people like that doctor and yourself are Living proof that Herpes doesn't have to be your ULTIMATE stressor.
In terms of stress, I belive it varies among everyone. My mom jus like yourself, has been through soooooo many DEMANDING scenarios in life and yet, no outbreak! You women are made of steel! lol...Maybe that might be the next cure for a Herpes outbreak-take on as many responsibilities and stresses in life- all that stress in your life probably even stressed the Herpes virus. lol. However, I do believe STRESS comes in different shapes and form. The type you mentioned is more emotional stress. But like I said before, too much sunshine, certain foods you eat, caffeine, chocolate can have different effects. I don't want to try to FIGURE out your trigger stress because I hope you remain outbreak-free! So let's jus leave it at that lol...I know it makes you wonder but I would just consider it a blessing- don't take advantage of it but use it to your advantage :)
Yup, I know it sucks to tell your partner because then the judgement comes. However, if he is as conservative as you mentioned- he would appreciate Honesty. Also, because you were honest with him from the Get-go, believe me- he might place you on a pedestal and treasure you after that. Plus, you should know from experience that once you let the secret out of the bag- you can finally let out a sigh of relief- you feel so much better and comfortable with the relationship.
P.S. God sent a man into my life- he was a virgin for 24 years, very strong Christian beliefs, pure heart and soul, and I felt like there was no chance after telling him I had herpes that he would want to stay with me. Girl, after I came out with it, he started to preach- because you confessed your sins, God will make you whiter than snow, and he was now helping me by supporting me! Who would have thought! My guilt, shame, impurity were lifted off my shoulders. He actually loved me so much more by being honest with him from the beginning. That was a bit of inspiration for ya- You go girl!!!! And tell your man- and if he's man enough- he would not let you go!!!!!!!! :)
I was diagnosed with the virus about three months ago. My partner then had it and did not tell me. I have currently met a wonderful Man of God that I am scared to death of losing. I have not told him yet but I know that I need to. It is breaking my heart to think that this could be the conversation that ends all conversations. I have all my life wanted to be married and there might be a chance with this one. To think that I have to spend the rest of my life using condoms to protect my mate is killing me softly. The amount of pain that I feel right now is great. I hope that my situation will be like the rest of yours. I don't want to have to seclude my spouse from something that others who weren't even worthy had a chance to experience. It's just so unfair.
Hi, I know it's tough to disclose it especially to someone you really want to be with. Honestly, God has embraced you and loved you just the same even with Herpes. If this guy is a man of God, then he's going to embrace and love you just the same and even much more! :) If he is a man of god, he will not judge you. This is actually a true test as well for him in his walk with God. Hopefully, he passes it by accepting you :) I will keep you in my prayers and hope that God works on his heart to love you just the same! Don't wait! Let him know ASAP!