Hi, my name is Camilo and I am monitoring this sharepost community. First of all let me thank you for posting in our community. I will try my best to help you but you should know that I am not a healthcare practitioner and thus cannot give you any professional advice. I can, however, direct you to some helpful resources that I think you may find helpful in answering some your questions. It appears that your main concerns are issues in transmission and a dilemma of whether or not to get tested. Dr. Grayson wrote a great article regarding the transmission of the virus orally, and I think you should read it, it could give you some hope. She also wrote a great practical article on transmitting herpes that will also help clear up any confusion you may have. Your hesitation for obtaining a diagnosis is understandable for it is usually the most difficult step for most. I think you should read the following two articles, also by Dr. Grayson, They may pursue you to make the right decision. What to do when your partner is diagnosed,  and I've done something stupid.

You won't know anything for sure until the test comes back.....but if your friend has herpes she could have gotten it from oral sex.  A person doesn't necessarily have to have sex (intercourse) to get herpes, but you do have to have an exchange of fluids from an infected area.  If you have ever had a fever blister on/in your mouth or if she has ever had oral with someone who has had fever blisters, the virus present in that blister could invade the vaginal area and therefor given her genital herpes.  Don't worry yourself until you know for sure.  If she's positive, do yourself a favor and get tested too. You need to know so that you can keep others from getting it from you.