Herpes and Parents

Hi Silver_linging,

Thank you for posting this. I too live at home, I'm 22, and I'm terrified to tell my parents. I love them to death but am really scared they will think I'm super contageous and not want to be near me. So needless to say, for the time being I have remained in my own little Valtrex world...scared out of my mind. To make matters worse, I think I'm having my second outbreak (not too sure if it's just discomfort because it only hurts during sex). I don't know what the best idea is (to tell parents or not). When I feel really alone and in pain, I think to myself...they would be supportive, they love me...nothing will change. But then I think about the flipside, what if it doesn't go well - and ultimately the flipside wins and I continue living in isolation. Hiding prescriptions from them isn't fun either. I know my mom is suspicious because during my initial outbreak I had to go to the doctor 3 times in 2 weeks plus I was really angry and uncomfortable. But she never asked since. I hate not telling them what is going on in my life; I am very close with my parents and this definitely adds stress to the situation. But they aren't really big fans of my boyfriend, if I tell them about this (since there is a huge possibility that he gave this to me) - they may go crazy. I hope someone out there does have an encouraging story because I am completely in the same boat as you; not knowing if telling them will help or harm our relationship.

I wish you all the luck in this diffucult journey. And if you do decide to tell them, and are willing to share the experience, please do let us know how it goes!

Take care

It seems like your parents were a little bit too overprotective of you and yet you still have suffered from things that they couldn't protect you from.  They have to recognize that you are an adult, not a little girl.  It is not fair for them to have such high expectations of you, this is unhealthy on their part and may have contributed to what happened to you.  Expectations-they could expect you to jump over the moon and if you couldn't, you would feel like a failure in their eyes and this is just plain wrong.   What is wrong with THEM that they couldn't save you from the person who gave you the hpv infection?  Being overprotective is not useful, being informed is.  This is none of their business.  They could have it too, since they know what valtrex is for.  You don't need suspicion on top of what you are going through.

You can get this into remission without drugs-the drugs make it so that your body never learns how to deal with the virus-and you have to keep taking the drugs and this is how the drug companies make money.  (This is only my experience and opinion) Emotions play a role in this. I hope you are being kind to yourself. This is not your fault and it is extremely common. Know that there are kind and understanding people out there.  You can do simple things to keep the virus in check-avoid peanuts. Eat chocolate in small amounts only until your body adapts.  You can drink pear juice, which has anti-herpetic compounds.  Lemon balm tea or any of the mint teas will help fight this.  You can also drink lavender tea and use lavender oil on the sores.  Take a b vitamin supplement.  Eat oat meal or drink oat milk (which you can make by soaking oatmeal in hot water and straining the oatmeal out of it)

I hope your parents can grow up-it seems like you are more of an adult than they are. And find someone truly supportive and non-suspicous that you can talk to openly without being afraid. My prayers are with you in your healing path.

i can def relate to you and your story, i just turned 21 in dec and was diagnosed with herpes this january, the only person that knows so far is a good friend of mine who came to my doctor with me. my mom started to get kinda suspicious when she saw that i had to go to 2 doctors (my family doctor, who diagnosed me with a UTI, and my gyno who took blood and a culture for herpes) she also got suspicious when she was washing my laundry and noticed that i had some discharge on my panties but i told her that was because of the UTI, but i havent told my parents yet either, im afraid im going to disappoint them, honestly when i found out i had herpes i would have rather found out i was pregnant, or failed a class or something. i have yet to tell my ex boyfriend since we're both off at college right now since school has started back, im scared he'll think i got if from someone else since i doubt he's had any symptoms and prob doesnt know he might have the virus. i do have a question for you though, i havent started taking meds yet, were yours really expensive? i have health insurance but im still afraid to go get them filled.