Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Hi, my name is Chesok. I have been dating my boyfriend for 8months and we have had unprotected sex for all 8 months. He resently developed rush on his penis that would heal and come back again. We both went to the clinic and got tested for Herpes. I was negative and he was positive. He is fricking out and I am not. We are trying to get to the bottom of this, together. What doesn't register in my head is: how did he get it? If he had it for long time and never showed symptoms of this virus, wouldn't I have it too????? He is also married and I am suspecting his wife sleeping around, because he developed this rush two weeks after having sex with her. Do you think it's recent or he had it for many years and I just got lucky????? HELP HELP
Hi Chesok,
Thanks for submitting your Sharepost. I'm not a doctor, so I cannot give you medical advice. However, I have herpes and so I may be able to offer some insight.
Sounds like you're in a crazy situation. Maybe I'm wrong, but what I understood from your Sharepost is that you're dating a married man who just found out he has herpes. You have been sleeping with him without protection, and were lucky to get negative test results. I don't think it really matters where he got it from. If he has been cheating on his wife with you for 8 months, chances are he's cheating on her with other women as well. Suspecting his wife is an outrageous accusation, and is kind of irrelevant at this point.
Which test did the doctor give you? I suggest you get tested again, maybe using a different testing method that healthgal just discussed in her recent post, The Truth, the Whole Truth, and.... It's still possible you caught it, and just had a bad test. Then, if you get another negative result, be very happy you didn't catch his herpes and run far far away. What are you getting out of dating a married man? Maybe I misunderstood, but I think that's what you're saying. This is an ugly situation. The herpes could have come from anywhere, but I don't think it's important whether he got it from his wife, from an earlier partner, or perhaps from another mistress. What's important is being safe going forward. If you continue to see your boyfriend, I recommend always using protection and never having sex while he is having an outbreak. Women catch herpes more easily than men, so you need to be very careful. I suggest you read the section about Genital Herpes Prevention and Genital Herpes Basics to become more familiar with the disease. Good luck and please come back and give us an update.
PJ
Hi,
Thank you for your responce. Unfortunately you have not answered my question. My question was where did he get it from, if he always used protection. Could it be from his wife or it is from long time ago but he just happened to never have an outbreak. I didn't ask if do you think I should continue seeing this man. I am also married and have two kids, we are both in this relationship because we love each other. And this relationship between us has nothing to do with the question I am asking. The reason I have mentioned our marriage status in my post is to give you some background on the situation and hoping to get a helpful responce.
I had a blood test done two weeks ago, which was negative, my boyfriend went to the same doctor as I did (same day) and got the same test done which was possitive. Another question is if he has been infected all this time I think I would come out possitive right????? Since I didn't, I am suspecting his wife and I think he just aquired it. Please, tell me if I make since. Please, answer to my questions and not to my relationship with him. Please, don't take me wrong, I am happy that I am negative--but those question in my head make no sence and keep me restless. Thank you so much. Sorry if I sound harsh. Looking forward to hearing from you again.