I am exactly where you are right now.
I too found out when after my first sexual experience with my boyfriend, I discovered I had contracted gental HSV from him. We broke up much later, not because of this, and it's been about 5 years since my diagnosis.
The dilemma I face is this: Do I tell someone about this? What if he rejects me because of this and/or worse, starts telling everyone I know? If I do decide to tell him, when is the "best' time? Too early, and you'll scare him off. Too late, and he'll feel you led him on or cheated him.
The only thing I can think of is - Do unto others how you want others to do unto you.
I try to think from the perspective of my partner and how I would like to be treated. If so, then if I feel the relationship has hit a certain plateu where I think we can proceed beyond something "more" than just friends, I would tell him/her about my condition. But bear in mind, the way in which you convey the mesage is also very important. For all HSV has been villified, it is NOT life-threatening, it will NOT kill you, it will at the most present major inconveniences. If you truly believe that and tell it in a matter of fact, logical sequence, I believe you will get the message across.
Reading up about it beforehand so you can answer any questions he/she has will also show that you do know what the condition is. And then just step back to allow him/her to process the information. You will have to accept the fact that he/she may not want to have anything to do with you.
As much as I sometimes crave the physical intimacy without the emotional connection, I personally feel it is morally reprehensible to have sex with someone and not disclose my HSV status. If i were my partner, I at least would want the choice to proceed or not.
And finally, just remember HSV is NOT life-threatening, it will NOT kill, it does NOT change the person that you are. You are as good/as bad a person before you contracted HSV. Just keep you chin up.
I am exactly where you are right now.
I too found out when after my first sexual experience with my boyfriend, I discovered I had contracted gental HSV from him. We broke up much later, not because of this, and it's been about 5 years since my diagnosis.
The dilemma I face is this: Do I tell someone about this? What if he rejects me because of this and/or worse, starts telling everyone I know? If I do decide to tell him, when is the "best' time? Too early, and you'll scare him off. Too late, and he'll feel you led him on or cheated him.
The only thing I can think of is - Do unto others how you want others to do unto you.
I try to think from the perspective of my partner and how I would like to be treated. If so, then if I feel the relationship has hit a certain plateu where I think we can proceed beyond something "more" than just friends, I would tell him/her about my condition. But bear in mind, the way in which you convey the mesage is also very important. For all HSV has been villified, it is NOT life-threatening, it will NOT kill you, it will at the most present major inconveniences. If you truly believe that and tell it in a matter of fact, logical sequence, I believe you will get the message across.
Reading up about it beforehand so you can answer any questions he/she has will also show that you do know what the condition is. And then just step back to allow him/her to process the information. You will have to accept the fact that he/she may not want to have anything to do with you.
As much as I sometimes crave the physical intimacy without the emotional connection, I personally feel it is morally reprehensible to have sex with someone and not disclose my HSV status. If i were my partner, I at least would want the choice to proceed or not.
And finally, just remember HSV is NOT life-threatening, it will NOT kill, it does NOT change the person that you are. You are as good/as bad a person before you contracted HSV. Just keep you chin up.