not so easy

so im only 18 years old; and im living with genital herpes. its not easy at all. especially when i didnt have a choice on what i was gettin myself into. i was raped and diagnosed with it November 17; 2008 so im still new to it. but believe me i have done my research; its something sooner or later i have to accept; but will always be afraid of. i read some of these lil paragraphs people write and just be like damn; im not alone. my 3 best friends; brother and ex boyfriend are the only ones that know. and its tough. because nobody really understands what i feel. but the weird thing is my 3 best friends; all of their moms have herpes so i can always go to them for advice.

at first i felt so different; like not worthy of anything or anyone; but im not your average 18 year old for those of you who are readin this. i dont party; dont smoke; dont drink. i work my ass off. i've been workin since 14; and than since 17 i've been workin 2 jobs. i have graduated and want to start college. so no i didnt deserve this. but does anybody ?! i jusz wanted to be happy. to live a nice happy life. i mean i can still do that wit herpes no doubt; but this is just one of them things that in the back of my head is gunna hold me back. i do take valtrex everyday; to lower my break outs and jusz keep it under control. but why should i have to take a pill everyday for his stupidity?!

i have a lot of questions and am new at this; so if anybody wants to share their story by all means; and i wouldnt mind answering questions of anyones either =]