I NEED HELP FACTS AND PRAYERS!!!

Hello. I just want to tell you that you are not alone with all of your confusion! I have been with my husband for a long time and was just diagnosed 2 weeks ago myself. I am totally lost as to how this even happened. I woke up one morning (3 days after intercourse) sick. I felt like I had the flu or something. My whole body ached and I had the "chills" so bad in my legs. I went to the bathroom and fell to the floor in pain! I thought for sure I just had a bladder infection. I called in sick to work and called my dr that morning and they told me to come in. They did an exam and right away my dr told me that I had herpes. He said he would do the sample test, but it was clear that is what it was. I felt like I was just hit by a bus. I asked how this could happen because I have been with him for a while (like you and your wife) and he has never had any sign of it. The Dr told me that this is a first outbreak because of how severe it is and that an outbreak like this happens around 3-4 days after intercourse and contracting it. I was so scared, confused, blank... I still feel that way! I didn't know how to even tell my husband.. I thought for sure that he would think I cheated on him or something.. But we have such a wonderful relationship, I know that he didn't cheat on me and he knows I never cheated on him.. When I asked the dr how this could have happened after being together for so long, he told me that my husband could have had it the whole time and show no signs of it. I guess this is pretty common in all that I have read. I did tell him and he was in just as much a state of cunfusion as me and never accused me of being wrong but not sure how he or I could have got this without any signs of it. He is pretty sure that if he is the one with it, it is because of his ex. She cheated on him all the time and he said it wouldn't surprise him one bit! Anyways, I hope that everything works out for you and that you get your test results back and they are what you are hoping for. If it does come back pos, what are your plans for telling your wife? I found thru reading the a bunch of the websites and that you can have what seems a first outbreak, years after contracting it. Make sure that you keep that in mind. (that is why this sucks so bad!!!! There never seems to be an exact answer) I will be praying for you that everything works out!

well, that is a long story. but the message is clear. you have herpes. and you just made an innocent mistake like many others. living with herpes is not that bad as living with the guilt. so, now you can be the luckiest man and not tell your wife and her never contact the herpes. my story is that i have herpes, and got it from a"nice"guy like you, we were in a relationship and never told me he had herpes. i have moment when i think he basically distroyed my life. I couldn't tell any of my after-boyfriends I was infected. I hate liiers , and I became one, just because I trusted that one guy. For the past 6 months I have been dating this guy, had sex without protection after 2 months, and he never got infected. it is my nightmare every day that he might actually get infected. but i am taking every day aciclovir for the past 6 months, never got an outbreak since. everybody says you get infected only when you are having an outbreak. don't know what to advice you, just start taking aciclovir right the way, to eliminate other possible outbreaks. bad news is that once you have herpes you always have it. never goes away, but the good news is that you can live with it and have a very normal life. but don't forget that if a woman get infected with herpes, when she gives birth she has to have a C-section, in order to protect the baby, and you don't want to give the herpses to your wife. i think you should lie about having had an affair and just say you did the test and found out you were infected, and that you probably got it before you were with her.

I think you should definitely come clean to your wife that you have herpes. I just found out 5 days ago that my boyfriend of 8 months has herpes... thank goodness he told me before I got it!!!! I believe I would've walked away from the relationship if that had happened. He said he told me because he knows he loves me and wants us to have a future together --- the guilt of not telling was wrecking havoc on him (and probably caused a recent outbreak -which he had not had in over a year). He has had herpes for 12 years and never told anyone that he has it. Don't let the shame or guilt do that to you.

It should be your wife's choice to put herself at risk... you don't have the right to make that choice for her. I've spent the past 5 days researching herpes on the internet... we've talked about the risks to me and things we can do to avoid transmission as much as possible. He only has 1 or 2 outbreaks a year and always has a pain or itching sensation prior to the OB. I told him that I need him to be fully aware of his body, at the first hint of an OB he will tell me. He will also start taking medication.

Please be honest with your wife, she deserves to know the truth. Let her make the decision. good luck and God bless you!