I never thought that I would be typing something like this. I'm 26 years old and do not have much of a sexual history about 5 people. 5 years ago a friend of mine that I had a crush on began to date and we have been together ever since. We were married on October 28th and this year will be our second anniversary. I love this woman with all my heart but earlier this year we were having a lot of problems and i did not know if our marriage was gonna last. My wife had been having problems binge drinking and I have been battling depression and a bipolar disorder for a long time. The zoloft i had been presribed seemed like it had lost its effectiveness and I was really close to losing it. During this time I met a young lady after one of my concerts as I'm a part time musician through a mutal friend. It started out innocent enough as I have a bit of a flirty personality but have Never cheated before on anyone. The girl was quite attractive I won't lie so I wanted to see about her modeling some of our T shirts for us. Well one phone call lead to another and another and we eventually began hanging out just as friends and as someone I could talk to during all of the shit that I was going through as she was a good listener and so am I and we would talk about eachothers problems. Earlier this year she was in a relationship and her boyfriend had commited suicide. I'm sorry if this seems like rambling but I'm just trying to tell the whole story. Eventually our relationship became intimate one night out of passion it just kind of happened. We were making out and she was teasing me by rubbing herself (genital) on me until she decided to go all the way. Once she did I couldn't stop and am not going to lie did not want her to at the time. We had talked previously about sexal history and she was kind of vague except that she told me that she had been tested at the health department on a few different occassions just as an active sex single adult. She told me I did not have anything to worry about. We did not use protection as she was on birth control and I am so use to being in a monogamous relationship and everything happened so quickly. I was so ashamed and still am to this day for cheating on my wife but I couldn't help at the time that here was a person that was actually genuinely interested in me and listened to me instead of judging me. Our friendship continued secretly since April and we were probably not intimate until July. I did grow to have feelings towards this girl and have trust in her and since that time we engaged in unprotected sex a handful of times. That is not what our relationship was about I mean if I was single it would be considered "friends with benefits." I never lied to this girl and she knew from the start that I was married but apparently we both just kind of fell for eachother at a time when we both needed someone. I'm not trying to make any excuses I know what I did was wrong trust me. I continued to want to be friends with this girl but my wife and I's marriage has been back on track and did not want it to continue sexually. After three medication changes over the course of this time I think I had finally been given something that actually works again. And during all of this my wife and I's marriage has gotten much better and it might be weird but i think it had to do with my affair. Now let me bring you to the present. It's been about a month since any sexual contact with the "mistress" we still have talked but no sex and no intimacy. Last week my wife and I had sex on wed. and we have had a somewhat normal sex life during all of this (1 to 2) times a month. I did not take a shower after my wife and I had sex just simply went to sleep. On friday I noticed red/skin colored little blisters on my penis and some itching and figured ok I just have a rash or something trying to be optomistic. But guilt/curiosity got me looking on the internet on std's since I have never had one and my wife has not. I called the friend and
Hello. I just want to tell you that you are not alone with all of your confusion! I have been with my husband for a long time and was just diagnosed 2 weeks ago myself. I am totally lost as to how this even happened. I woke up one morning (3 days after intercourse) sick. I felt like I had the flu or something. My whole body ached and I had the "chills" so bad in my legs. I went to the bathroom and fell to the floor in pain! I thought for sure I just had a bladder infection. I called in sick to work and called my dr that morning and they told me to come in. They did an exam and right away my dr told me that I had herpes. He said he would do the sample test, but it was clear that is what it was. I felt like I was just hit by a bus. I asked how this could happen because I have been with him for a while (like you and your wife) and he has never had any sign of it. The Dr told me that this is a first outbreak because of how severe it is and that an outbreak like this happens around 3-4 days after intercourse and contracting it. I was so scared, confused, blank... I still feel that way! I didn't know how to even tell my husband.. I thought for sure that he would think I cheated on him or something.. But we have such a wonderful relationship, I know that he didn't cheat on me and he knows I never cheated on him.. When I asked the dr how this could have happened after being together for so long, he told me that my husband could have had it the whole time and show no signs of it. I guess this is pretty common in all that I have read. I did tell him and he was in just as much a state of cunfusion as me and never accused me of being wrong but not sure how he or I could have got this without any signs of it. He is pretty sure that if he is the one with it, it is because of his ex. She cheated on him all the time and he said it wouldn't surprise him one bit! Anyways, I hope that everything works out for you and that you get your test results back and they are what you are hoping for. If it does come back pos, what are your plans for telling your wife? I found thru reading the a bunch of the websites and that you can have what seems a first outbreak, years after contracting it. Make sure that you keep that in mind. (that is why this sucks so bad!!!! There never seems to be an exact answer) I will be praying for you that everything works out!
Thank you for your thoughts and sharing your story with me. It helps to know that someone actually read this. I really don't know what to tell my wife I'm still lost and still looking for answers.
i am a male, former soldier, and in 2001, december, i was coming home from basic training in Fort Jackson, and i noticed a blistere llike thing, painful in my penis. I visited the Va in new york and the doctor revealed by just looking at it that i had herpes. i was shocked at first, but though there was a cure. He told me that there is no cure for this disease. i was very hurt, and depressed, and wanted answers. I immediately thought of my current girlfriend at the time. i asked her, got her tested which the results came back negative. i tested again, and the doctor said, it did not look like herpes. i went back to fort jackson, got tested there and it came back negative, got tested in fort lee, and it cameback negative, got tested in korea, and it came back negative. i had only two outbreaks, and then from 2002 until 2007, i had absolutely no signs of outbreaks. Then i got married in 2005, and everything was great. then in 2007, i was itching, and i thought it was just that, itching, no thoughts of it being anything, but then it kept itching and itching, and so i went to the doctor and he said it may have been something and gave me medication, but said, it was no std, no herpes, nothing. a few months later, it returned, and i got tested, and this time, it came positive. i was so hurt, so shocked, but i might have passed it to my wife. In fact, i know i did. i wanted to tell her that i have herpes, but i before i could do so, she has complained of a little ball in her virgina, and itching. i feel like a monster, had i known, i would never have married her or had sex without protection. i love her and she loves and trustes me. i never slept with anyone outside of our relationship. what do i do..will she believe me346623
I have to tell you that I have been with my husband for a while and NEVER did I think that he cheated on me. There is no way he did. I know it had to have been from the past that he was not aware of. If you and your wife have a great relationship, she will believe that you did not cheat on her but that you just didn't know. Good luck with that and I hope that everything turns out okay.