I NEED HELP FACTS AND PRAYERS!!!

began to grill her with questions of her past history which turns out to be kind of sketchy.  Apparently she was raped when she was 12 by an Uncle and durign her teens and up until about 3 years ago she had probably been with 20 - 25 people.  But for the past three years she has been with 3.  She was engaged to a man that abused her physically and emotionally and she left him after about two years and her boyfriend of a year that had commited suicide and me.  She has been tested 5 times over the course of her adult life and each time everything has come back negative.  She told me she had never had any signs of having anything.  But would go get tested to make sure I did not tell her I was having symptoms because I wasn't sure that I was but she said she would get tested again to make sure and the last time she tested was in June at the health department.  The more the week went on the more and more I have been researching trying to find out what this could be.  And all of the signs that I have come to unfortunately come to genital herpes.  I have a rash of little blisters on my glans penis that have not oozed from what I can tell in the beginning was itchy but is not now and is looking like it is healing no scabs or anything just kind of shiny looking.  And two days ago I started having a clear penile discharge.  After calling around to health departments i found out that unless you have symptoms they will not test your for herpes.  And a painful light bulb went up in my head because this is where she has been tested.  Eventhough she says they once did a blood test.  I have been waiting on her results from her last test but since they dont test for herpes I don't think this is gonna help either one of us.  So today i went and got a specific Herpes type 2 blood test through a company called Labsafe I found on the internet after I met with the "friend" to discuss what I thought what was going on and that since so many women have internal or no signs at all that she could have very well had it for a long time and not known.  I gave her the information about Labsafe and told her she should go get tested as well because in 5 years she is the only one besides my wife that I have had sex with.  I did not blame her although I have been through all the spectrum of emotions this week in my life.  I have refrained any sexaul contact with my wife since symptoms and have not told her of all this because I have no idea how to.  I seriously am so depressed and dont' know what to do.  I have gone from denial to thoughts of suicide but I don't even know if I have anything yet.  And the more I read on the internet the more confused I get because all of the information on herpes is so conflicting. I can handle if I gave this to myself because after what I did I know it is my fault and the girl involved but If I have given this to my wife I won't be able to live with that.  She's innocent in all of this and I know she would never forgive me eventhough this is the only major mistake that I've EVER made in my life.  I feel like God is punishing me for my sins and if so I can handle that because I deserve it.  I just can not live with my self if I gave this to my wife.  I know she would never forgive me and I can't blame her because I would never forgive myself.  The worst part is shes been woken up that past three nights with sharp pains in her back which I read is a sign of herpes and I have had some myself.  I guess what I am looking for is some support more or less.  And actual truthful facts among just people's opinoins.  I was told to call in 3 days to see about results on my test but even then are they even that reliable I mean how do you find out you have a disease if there is so much red tape out there.?  I'm looking for answers and just wish that there are well informed people out there like I am trying to be that can help me with any advice or information. I thank anyone that has taken the time to read this.  And if any of you are religous pray for me please.