began to grill her with questions of her past history which turns out to be kind of sketchy. Apparently she was raped when she was 12 by an Uncle and durign her teens and up until about 3 years ago she had probably been with 20 - 25 people. But for the past three years she has been with 3. She was engaged to a man that abused her physically and emotionally and she left him after about two years and her boyfriend of a year that had commited suicide and me. She has been tested 5 times over the course of her adult life and each time everything has come back negative. She told me she had never had any signs of having anything. But would go get tested to make sure I did not tell her I was having symptoms because I wasn't sure that I was but she said she would get tested again to make sure and the last time she tested was in June at the health department. The more the week went on the more and more I have been researching trying to find out what this could be. And all of the signs that I have come to unfortunately come to genital herpes. I have a rash of little blisters on my glans penis that have not oozed from what I can tell in the beginning was itchy but is not now and is looking like it is healing no scabs or anything just kind of shiny looking. And two days ago I started having a clear penile discharge. After calling around to health departments i found out that unless you have symptoms they will not test your for herpes. And a painful light bulb went up in my head because this is where she has been tested. Eventhough she says they once did a blood test. I have been waiting on her results from her last test but since they dont test for herpes I don't think this is gonna help either one of us. So today i went and got a specific Herpes type 2 blood test through a company called Labsafe I found on the internet after I met with the "friend" to discuss what I thought what was going on and that since so many women have internal or no signs at all that she could have very well had it for a long time and not known. I gave her the information about Labsafe and told her she should go get tested as well because in 5 years she is the only one besides my wife that I have had sex with. I did not blame her although I have been through all the spectrum of emotions this week in my life. I have refrained any sexaul contact with my wife since symptoms and have not told her of all this because I have no idea how to. I seriously am so depressed and dont' know what to do. I have gone from denial to thoughts of suicide but I don't even know if I have anything yet. And the more I read on the internet the more confused I get because all of the information on herpes is so conflicting. I can handle if I gave this to myself because after what I did I know it is my fault and the girl involved but If I have given this to my wife I won't be able to live with that. She's innocent in all of this and I know she would never forgive me eventhough this is the only major mistake that I've EVER made in my life. I feel like God is punishing me for my sins and if so I can handle that because I deserve it. I just can not live with my self if I gave this to my wife. I know she would never forgive me and I can't blame her because I would never forgive myself. The worst part is shes been woken up that past three nights with sharp pains in her back which I read is a sign of herpes and I have had some myself. I guess what I am looking for is some support more or less. And actual truthful facts among just people's opinoins. I was told to call in 3 days to see about results on my test but even then are they even that reliable I mean how do you find out you have a disease if there is so much red tape out there.? I'm looking for answers and just wish that there are well informed people out there like I am trying to be that can help me with any advice or information. I thank anyone that has taken the time to read this. And if any of you are religous pray for me please.
Hello. I just want to tell you that you are not alone with all of your confusion! I have been with my husband for a long time and was just diagnosed 2 weeks ago myself. I am totally lost as to how this even happened. I woke up one morning (3 days after intercourse) sick. I felt like I had the flu or something. My whole body ached and I had the "chills" so bad in my legs. I went to the bathroom and fell to the floor in pain! I thought for sure I just had a bladder infection. I called in sick to work and called my dr that morning and they told me to come in. They did an exam and right away my dr told me that I had herpes. He said he would do the sample test, but it was clear that is what it was. I felt like I was just hit by a bus. I asked how this could happen because I have been with him for a while (like you and your wife) and he has never had any sign of it. The Dr told me that this is a first outbreak because of how severe it is and that an outbreak like this happens around 3-4 days after intercourse and contracting it. I was so scared, confused, blank... I still feel that way! I didn't know how to even tell my husband.. I thought for sure that he would think I cheated on him or something.. But we have such a wonderful relationship, I know that he didn't cheat on me and he knows I never cheated on him.. When I asked the dr how this could have happened after being together for so long, he told me that my husband could have had it the whole time and show no signs of it. I guess this is pretty common in all that I have read. I did tell him and he was in just as much a state of cunfusion as me and never accused me of being wrong but not sure how he or I could have got this without any signs of it. He is pretty sure that if he is the one with it, it is because of his ex. She cheated on him all the time and he said it wouldn't surprise him one bit! Anyways, I hope that everything works out for you and that you get your test results back and they are what you are hoping for. If it does come back pos, what are your plans for telling your wife? I found thru reading the a bunch of the websites and that you can have what seems a first outbreak, years after contracting it. Make sure that you keep that in mind. (that is why this sucks so bad!!!! There never seems to be an exact answer) I will be praying for you that everything works out!
Thank you for your thoughts and sharing your story with me. It helps to know that someone actually read this. I really don't know what to tell my wife I'm still lost and still looking for answers.
i am a male, former soldier, and in 2001, december, i was coming home from basic training in Fort Jackson, and i noticed a blistere llike thing, painful in my penis. I visited the Va in new york and the doctor revealed by just looking at it that i had herpes. i was shocked at first, but though there was a cure. He told me that there is no cure for this disease. i was very hurt, and depressed, and wanted answers. I immediately thought of my current girlfriend at the time. i asked her, got her tested which the results came back negative. i tested again, and the doctor said, it did not look like herpes. i went back to fort jackson, got tested there and it came back negative, got tested in fort lee, and it cameback negative, got tested in korea, and it came back negative. i had only two outbreaks, and then from 2002 until 2007, i had absolutely no signs of outbreaks. Then i got married in 2005, and everything was great. then in 2007, i was itching, and i thought it was just that, itching, no thoughts of it being anything, but then it kept itching and itching, and so i went to the doctor and he said it may have been something and gave me medication, but said, it was no std, no herpes, nothing. a few months later, it returned, and i got tested, and this time, it came positive. i was so hurt, so shocked, but i might have passed it to my wife. In fact, i know i did. i wanted to tell her that i have herpes, but i before i could do so, she has complained of a little ball in her virgina, and itching. i feel like a monster, had i known, i would never have married her or had sex without protection. i love her and she loves and trustes me. i never slept with anyone outside of our relationship. what do i do..will she believe me346623
I have to tell you that I have been with my husband for a while and NEVER did I think that he cheated on me. There is no way he did. I know it had to have been from the past that he was not aware of. If you and your wife have a great relationship, she will believe that you did not cheat on her but that you just didn't know. Good luck with that and I hope that everything turns out okay.