After 23 years with the same partner, 21 years married, my spouse has been diagnosed w/ genital herpes. she swears she didn't know she had it and insists it must have been dormant in her for the 23 years we've lived, loved, and fought together.

My initial response was to be non accusatory. I wanted to be supportive, understanding and empathetic because love and respect should be nothing less. I immediately underwent an initial test to detect infection which was negative. 7 weeks later I underwent a follow up test in part because my spouse informed me that the initial test may have been a false negative, that I too could have HSV2 and not know it, and that it could manifest at some point down the road since I was exposed. The results of the 2nd test were negative. During this initial period I did some self study and conversed with my personal physician of 23 years. He informed me that it was possible that the virus could have laid dormant. He also counseled me on the preventative measures of condom use, but the only way to absolutely prevent contracting the disease was to abstain. My comment to my wife of 21 years was that I did not want to catch the disease. Her response was, wrong answer. What to do, and why is the use of a condom proferred as an alternative with the warning that this method may well fail if one were to come in contact with a lesion, or that shedding may occur and could infect a partner, condom or not? How likely is it that the virus now after 23 years manifests? It's sort of tough to get my mind around.