I'm completetly lost. I found out I had (it) 2 years ago...I still can't say it. I know that in itself is a problem but I don't know how to address it. My dating life is non-existent because of it and I know that but I, again, dont know how to fix it. I just don't see how anyone could ever really and truly love someone who has...herpes. How do you even go onto telling someone you love and care about that you have it? when do you tell them?? I'm so lost and confused.
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8/14/09 5:03pm
I just found out two months ago that I contracted herpes. I have since been completely depressed, with no idea how to continue living my life. Everything that I once knew is now completely gone and I can't stop wishing I could just go back and change it all. I don't want to date anyone because I feel like with my luck the second I start falling for somebody and finally have the nerve to tell them, that they will just leave me in a second and think I'm disgusting. Does anyone have any story of loving again?? I need some hope because right now I am tired of life alltogether.
8/14/09 10:28pm
I would like to start off by saying that I am sorry for what you are going through. I myself do not have herpes. My older sister was diagnosed three years ago and I know how hard it was for her. I have recently started talking with a guy that I go to college with. He is sweet and funny and handsome. He is everything I could ask for in a boyfriend. Although we have not seen each other in over three months we talk on the phone daily and we are emotionally very close. He finally broke down and told me that because he cared so much about me and trusted me that he had genital herpes. While I can't say I wasn't extremely surprised it did not in any way change how I feel about him or the fact that I love him. When we get back to school I have no hesitation or fear about being in a physical relationship with him. I feel that if we take the right steps we can prevent spreading the virus. I also feel that we can have a fulfilling and rewarding relationship. He is still the same person he was and may even be a better match for me because of his illness. As I read these posts I felt that I should tell my story and let you all know that there are people out there who will love and accept you exactly as you are. If someone truly cares about you then they will be understanding and open. Keep your chin up and know that I am praying for you.
8/17/09 10:02pm
8/29/09 8:13am
Honey, I don't know who you are but thank you for your post. I am an attractive 53 woman who was diagnosed with herpes 6 years ago. And I have had to tell 3 men, all who walked away from me because I have herpes. The last one was the hardest because I was falling love with him. He was just about everything I wanted in a man/partner. I told him and it did not bother him at first then it did, so I believe he talked to someone about it. It did not break my heart, but it has given me huge pause to see anyone else.
Your willingness to see past something like herpes tells the full story of who you are as a human being...thank you for sharing...it has given me a little hope that not everyone sees herpes first when in a relationship with someone.
8/16/09 1:44am
Yes, having the herpes virus sucks. And dating is difficult, but get out there and do it. You can date without having sex....although , this can be difficult since our hormones and desires speak loud and clear. Do you take medication to help prevent herpe outbreaks? After 2 years, you most likely know your symptoms and know whether or not your having an outbreak. Focus on other aspects of life..read more, join a hiking club, focus on a career...follow another passion. Meanwhile, keep track of your outbreaks.... avoid stressors that may trigger a outbreak. Important to get good rest, sleep, stay well hydrated, take care of yourself!
Date,Date,Date. Or just hang out. Nobody has to know until your ready to let them . Most of my friends don't know that I have HSVII and that's the way I plan to keep it. The men in my life , of course I have to tell them. I waited a year before dating again. Thank God, there are several anitviral medications on the market that WORK. Herpes outbreaks are painful and the flu symptoms which include a bad headache are a horrible reminder of our pasts. But you can beat this and get on with your life. You will meet someone who is willing to make love with you "carefully"
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I feel the same way... Im just diagnosed last week. It makes me so sad to read your post and see that after 2 years it isnt any easier. Its so complicated, dating again, telling someone, being happy if maybe they have it too but then dealing with issues with different strains..... I feel lost and worry Ill never be able to have a family or meet someone who would want me. Even if I did, I feel so unattractive now, I dont feel sexy at all. It helps to read other peoples posts, it seems like so many do go on to have a full life and great relationships, thsi helps. Ive been researching alot online and it seems hopful that th medications will get better and maybe even a vaccine for those that dont have it or maybe even a cure one day!!!!
Just know that your nt alone, I cry everyday. I hope i will get easier as time goes by