Hello! I'm sorry that you are now part of the gh club; but welcome! It is common for it to be a shock at the beginning especially if you didn't experience any symptoms. Not experiencing symptoms is very common too, and is one reason why this is so predominant in the population today. Standard std screenings don't test for herpes so people can get it, never know and then pass it along to their partners. On the other hand, many people do get outbreaks once it is given to them and may experience varying degrees of outbreaks for the rest of their life. I have gh - type 1. In a sense I am lucky because my outbreaks are minimal. The only time I got one after my initial outbreak was when I had to tell someone I was dating that I have herpes. I was so scared and worried that I got an outbreak.

I think the smartest advice I got on the topic of telling someone was: think of it as a screening process. If someone really likes you, herpes should be a minimal factor and won't overly change the relationship. It is important to protect your partner but my point is, they will still like you and want to be with you if they are there for the right reasons. I was not so lucky and found out that the guy i was dating only wanted sex. Once I told him, communications broke down and he stopped calling me. Again, their decision, but it is a great way to find out if someone wants to be with you for the long haul. Another bit of info on that...tell them when it feels right. Obviously, before you get intimate, but dont wait too long. It will hurt you just as much as them if it doesn't go the way you hope and you are really emotionally attached to them. In the dating and relationships section of this webpage there are all kinds of good tips for telling someone too.

As for which situations you will have to protect your partner from...well, technically any kind of sex. First of all, your partner should be tested too. People think that since they had an "std" test that they are "clean" this is such a misconception in our society. What does it mean to be "clean"? what a silly way to classify oneself. Having a disease doesn't constitute being dirty. Anyways...your partner may not know if they have herpes or other stds either so having the talk with them if quite important for you to disclose gh and for them to tell you too! Say they don't have any std though (orally or genitally) then, you would have to protect your partner if they are giving you oral sex (since herpes can infect the mouth too) or having traditional sex.  We are virally shedding the disease randomly without any signs and that is another time it can spread which is why it is necessary to protect our partners all the time.

As for feeling alone, that is very common when you are first diagnosed. I felt like that for about a year and still do sometimes. Everyone is different and the time to heal emotionally/psychologically is different for everyone. Something to never lose sight of is that you are just as awesome as you were before your diagnosis. I hope that helps. Keep your chin up :) Have a wonderful day!