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By tryagain Wednesday, December 12, 2007

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I'm not sure if it has sunk in or not. I knew before I went to the Doctor what it most likely would be...I just hoped it'd be something more benign. Not quite denial, but not 100% coping.

The advantage of this is I'm still pretty much a virgin. I don't have any habits to break, just one's to build. I'll never know how a relationship would progress otherwise. And, while I'm sure I'll deal with alot of stigma, I don't have to deal with it now.

My boyfriend gave it to me. He didn't know. I didn't think to ask to get it tested. I plan to stay with him. I really honestly enjoy the time I spend with him. We share the blame for this-and he's going through a hard time having to cope with having it, and having to tell his previous partners.

Why does no one else seem to stay with the person who gave it to them? Why is that so hard? I can see it as a betrayal of other trusts, but not in cases like this...

If only the **** pain would go away. Once that heals, I think this will come into a new perspective.

What in the world?

Comments (3) | Add comment

rnjh

12/28/07 3:15pm

I know what you mean, hoping it would be something benign instead of herpes. That was my exact thought when my symptoms first started. Only at the time it was because I had had an affair and knew I was busted. After the affair surfaced, I then had to deal with the herpes and how it was going to affect me and everyone I could be with for the rest of my life. I am still in a little denial. I think my husband is too, because he doesn't have yet. We are staying together for now. Mainly I am staying because of our son. I think the reason I had the affair was for a way out of the marriage, but who knows. All things happen for a reason. I am terrified of telling people that I have herpes. If I leave my husband, I am affraid of being alone forever. I have so much to offer someone, but I don't know if they can look past the herpes. I don't even know if I would be able to really. Enough about me, I hope your pain has gotten better and you are doing well. Let me know if there is anything I can do you support you. Thanks for listening.

Jennifer Sarah

1/ 1/08 8:24pm

I was engaged when I discovered my beloved had given me herpes. It was so betraying. I feel damaged. After the discovery, he claimed he didn't know that he had it. However, his past two relationships the women had both contracted herpes. We stayed together after this only to break up a year later. I would say that herpes was a definite beginning of my contempt for him.

I think the thing that upsets me the most is that to this day he still says he doesn't have it. He won't get tested though.

It's hard to forgive him because I did all the "right" things with him. We were friends for two years. We had the talk (in which he claimed to be certain that he did not have any diseases and no one he dated had any ) We had a deep romantic relationship where we expressed that we loved each other before having sex.

I also feel like he's ruined my life and ruined all my hopes of having somebody. I've had several romantic relationships end solely on the basis of my honesty.

I'm sorry that at 18 you have to deal with this emotionally and physically.

I really do believe that with suppressive therapy and condoms that people can be together and not get it. I know two people who are married to negative partners and have babies.

Valtrex also upsets me. If the label of STD isn't a stigma enough. The fear that company puts in the general public through their commercials. Also, those commercials are on constantly. After telling a partner, you'll be sitting there watching tv and the stupid commercial will come on and then it's really quiet. Or you'll talk louder or change the channel. I hate it.

tryagain

1/ 1/08 9:47pm

I'm so sorry that happened to you. That level of betrayal had to have hurt so much...**hugs**

He'd been tested for STD's before we were physical in any manner. I came with him to the tests, and saw the paper work.

We forgot that herpes wasn't included in standred STD tests in our area.

After I started showing symptoms, he had himself retested. I've seen the paper work for both tests he had after I was dianogsed; he wanted to understand how I could have got it. He's tested negative 3 times. We don't know why...

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