What in the world?

He's...negative? He's taken the test twice, and both times, nothing. He doesn't have the antibodies. But I have it?! I've not given anyone else any sexual contact! I've never kissed any one besides him, never had anything done to me, done anything to any one else...

I'm steamed! I don't understand. I don't have a regular Dr. because I don't have insurance. What happens now? Who do I question?  WHAT IS HAPPENING? HOW HAS IT HAPPENED?!

The symptoms were bad enough-the aftermath looks to be worse. My boyfriend, thank god, believes me. I know he hasn't cheated, I know that the antibodies have had enough time to develop since his last sexual relationship.

This is like my worst fear...something occuring, but with no reason, no cause.

I'm 18, and I'm dealing with this crap nearly on my own, with a newish realtionship that really doesn't need this stress. We're still getting to know each other...we built a friendship first, and it just...turned slightly sexual. More than slightly, but it wasn't a big transition to dating from our friendship...

But what if it ends? I'd love to believe he's the one I'm going to be with forever, but that isn't statistically likely. Of course, it's not statistically likely I was going to get herpes, either.

I screwed up school last quarter. I'm lying about it to the people who ask. I'm in college. I screwed up my first quarter. At least I've learned. But now, I have to correct it. Load myself with as much as I can take. Retake the only class I failed. 

I have to deal with all of this at once. And then deal with the fact that I've finally faced up to the things I have to change, and the fact that I've relised that I'm slightly depressed, and have been since I moved across the state...

I don't know how to make friends. I don't know how to deal with this!

ARGH!