On Valtrex right now and depressed

By K Wednesday, November 11, 2009

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Well it's been 11 months when I first found out I tested positive for genital herpes. The guy I was with for a while had sex with me, and never told me he had it. We are no longer together. I wish I would have known so I wouldn't of slept with him. As im typing I am crying, and in pain. I have an op right now, and I am taking Valtex. My fiance accepts the fact that he might get it, but I know when he does it is going to hurt. Not just physically but emotionally. I've been suffering from depression, and I feel like im gaining weight. All I want is to be happy, but I don't think that's possible. I fear that this will ruin my life, and my future life with my finance. Everytime I have an outbreak I just want to isolate myself from the world. I don't even want to take a shower or use a towel. Im so afraid of giving it to one of my family members or something. Everyday that goes by I feel like I did when I first found out I tested positive. It feels like just yeterday I was breaking the news to my family. I had never lived with regret untill now!

Comments (8) | Add comment

Tiger

11/12/09 9:14am

If you have an understanding partner you are very lucky. My boyfreind and I have herpes and I sometimes think he may be staying with me just because he doesn't think anyone else would have him. I understand the depression, I cried for 3 days. Heck I'm was diagnosed in my late fifties, and who would figure anything like that would happen at my age. I get a little upset when I have an outbreak because it is just a reminder. I never resolved where I got it from either, so that made it even worse. I just had to not blame anyone and accept responsibilty. I would suggest you look deep and figure out exactly what it is that is making you depressed (worried about giving it to him, guilt, etc) and then work on that issue. I wish you the best.

11/13/09 8:55pm

Hello, and thank you for the comment. When I was with that guy that gave me herpies I he made me feel like I had to stay with him, becuase nobody else would want me. It had me go through a guilt trip just so he can use me whenever he wanted. And I just was sucked into his lies. So I eneded up staying with him for a while, but the guy im with now (my fiance) make me realize what he was doing to me. And yeah if my fiance ends up getting it I will feel so guilty, and even more sad. He said as long as we're together he doesn't mind if he gets it. But nobody really knows how it really feels to have herpies. I don't want him to go through what I'm going through. He says that all we can do now is pray really hard for them to come up with a cure. So I will be praying for all of us. Keep in touch dear, and I hope you feel better.

CJS2

11/24/10 9:39pm

I loved that you posted this I'm only 21 and I felt the same thing. I contracted from someone who I thought I could trust, but was sadly mistaken. I've cryed myself to sleep many of night and I feel like I'll be alone forever because of this. I feel so diferent from my self and even tho you cant see it I know I still have it. It breaks my heart everytime I think about it. Now This guy I'm talking to want to take our relationship further and I just feel even worse because I dont know how to even explain to him about this. I kinda feel liek I should just be alone... sigh...

Keep your head up and I'll try to dot he same.

penelope

11/16/09 2:14am

hi, i really appreciate your post because i can emotionally relate with you-- i just got diagnosed a month ago, so i am still trying to adjust with the new emotions that come with this diagnosis... it's tough.

i was just wondering how often you break out.. and how long they last? also, if you can let me know what kind of symptoms you get before a break out.. like, do you get itchy before? i just don't know who else to ask!

thanks,

penelope

51 yr old woman

11/16/09 1:29pm

I too was just diagnosed a month ago with hsv2. I was in so much pain that I ended up in the hospital for 5 days because it affected my nerves from my butt down to my toes. I wanted to die. I could hardly walk and my bowel and bladder functions were shut down. I was told by my team of doctors that my case was so rare they had never seen it in all of their years of practice. I was that 1 in a million who reacted so badly to this dreaded virus! Everyday is an emotional roller coaster for me at 51 years old! I am on a daily anti-viral and probably will be for the rest of my life as well as neurontin for the nerve pain I now suffer. I am improving each day, but have been unable to work for the last month all because of hsv2! I will be returning to work next week and am hoping it will be part of the therapy I need in addition to the support from all of you on this site. We all need to keep positive and realize we made a mistake, but, that we are not dirty people. The man I am dating had been tested for STD's. When I broke out with herpes, I asked him to get tested. He tested positive. His doctors response was that she did not test him for this when she tested for everything else because 45 million people have the virus and most don't even know it and some never have a breakout!! I thought he was safe. I was so wrong to assume this especially at my age. Herpes should be included in all STD testing! Hang in there everyone. We can live with this and still feel good about ourselves.

11/16/09 11:23pm

Well since it's just been about a month ago I know exactly how your feeling. I just hope you don't fall into a really bad depression like me. It hasn't even been a year since I've had herpes, and I've already had three breakouts. It always just depends on the person, and how stressed their lifestyle is. When I know I'm going to have a breakout out I start getting flu like symptoms, and yes I do start itching just a little down there. I start getting a sore throat and fever. My breakouts last for about a week or two. But my very first time it lasted for almost a month, and I was in so much pain. It stung when I had to urine, and I ended up getting a yeast infection. Also, if it starts to smell down there and have some discharge it's normal. You need to keep the sores dry, and I change my underwear a lot. Taking warm baths also help with the pain and itching. Your first breakout is the worst, but after a while they don't hurt as much. I hope I was of some help to you. All this information I had to figure out by doing a lot of reading, because my doctor wasn't of any help. She said it's not a big deal. Nobody will know what we're going through unless they test positive. Well don't be a stranger...take care!

11/16/09 11:30pm

I love how positive you are. I also ended up in the hopital for about two days. My immune system was to weak, and the valtrex made me very sick. My mistake was not making the guy I was with put on a condom. And he failed to mention the fact that he had herpes. I should have never had trusted him the way I did. Now we will all have to be on some type of medication for the rest of our lives. But im hoping and praying they will come out with a cure for this soon. And yes your right we all just need to stay strong for eachother.

51 yr old woman

11/16/09 11:58pm

Thank you so much for replying. I have felt so ashamed of this. It helps to know that there are so many more of us out there. I read somewhere that it affects women more than men. Why do we always seem to get the short end of the stick as they say? Please keep in touch and I promise to do the same. I will keep you posted on my progress through this and I hope you will do the same. I am so thankful I found this site. I know it will help so I don't go into a depression. I will not let that happen. I plan on checking the site everyday to help me accept what I have to live with for the rest of my life.

On Valtrex right now and depressed

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